>>50911747
Kogasa, most of the human 2hus except the Shrine Maidens and the others, that's basically it.

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>>50911747
Yoshika
a girl that braindead would be my one and only option.

>>50911788
Have to get Seiga's permission

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>>50911769
I can't see a reason why you wouldn't be able to date Reimu, or Sanae for that matter.

>>50911747
Yukari, who I would court with how I DIY'd a model locomotive ages back.

>>50911806
Reimu is too important and Kanako and Suwako would scare you off.

All touhous are lesbians who will kiss girls instead of you.

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None. I'm far too disgusting to be tolerated.

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>>50911830
>Reimu is too important
Yeah but that doesn't prevent her from finding someone. She spends a lot of her time doing nothing, so it's not like it would have to affect her work.
Hell it could even make her work slightly easier, considering you'd be helping around the shrine.

>Kanako and Suwako would scare you off.
Why would they?
I don't think they'd have any problem with Sanae finding someone. Maybe if they didn't like you?

>>50911907
They just seem overly protective.

>>50911830
In a meta-narrative sense, but to the average villager she's just a weirdo hermit who lives with Youkai. The reverence for her position is practically forgotten.

>>50911747
Idk how to talk to woman, i do like video games so maybe Sanae though hobbies but that would be a miracle if it were to go remotely far.

>>50911934
Mmm yeah but people like Yukari and other important Youkai would be the bigger deal

>>50912071
>Yukari
Who cares about some smelly hag?

>>50912097
The smelly hag cares about you potentially ruining the barrier. Yukari is paranoid as fuck.

>>50911806
>>50911769
Reimu and Sanae are literally underage you pedos. Go for women your own age, like Junko.

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>>50912106
>potentially ruining the barrier
Oh, I do plan on "ruining" the Hakurei barrier.

>>50912158
>Go for women your own age, like Junko.
Sorry heca but I'm not a 1000+ years old fossil.

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>>50911747
I wanna court Satorin! When she sees her stolen, cum-stained panties nailed to her front door, Satorin will realize the true depths of my LOVE! Then we get married and I have an affair with Koishi!

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>>50911747
I wanna train with Kasen but take her on dumb hijinks at the same time so she feels like she has to train me

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>>50912158
>>50912196
I want to smash this virgin goddess so bad!!! Screw Junko!

>>50912158
They were around for the moon landing and for cellphones
Reimu is older than your grandma

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>>50911747
Waifu Akyuu, she is all things considered pretty close to just a normal girl. I expect it to be an uphill battle specially the very early stages where she'd be more inclined to dismiss anyone trying to court her without a second thought, but nothing that some perseverance can't handle it
(Also an excuse to post the most recent comm)

>>50911797
Seiga would probably be ok with it because it would be funny

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>>50911806
There's nothing officially in the way of you dating Reimu, but she's got a whole army of youkai who are overly possessive and have too much time on their hands to try and scare you off.
Marisa would probably ship you and Reimu really hard though

>>50912158
Fuck off Reimu we know you're in your 40s by now

>>50911747
Imagine being such a massive virgin that a love confession makes you blush

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>>50912475
Ditching Reimu and confessing to your true love, the one who always supported you and stood with you, Marisa!

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>>50912475
>spoiler
Cute.
Actually Marisa might even help you get closer to Reimu.

I need Eirin to love me enough to hourai me but not enough to not hourai me you feel me?

>>50911747
You severely overestimate our Anons' charms and severely underestimate Gensokyans' standards, mr. Anonymous.

>>50911747
I can't get any action irl what makes you think it would be any different in Gensokyo?

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>>50912877
The vast majority of Gensokyo females are deranged, ticking time bombs, hedonistic and/or perverted (not necessarily in the sexual sense, either). Who knows, you might just be interesting in the eyes of a dangerous person.

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>>50911747
Patchouli
This is my Goodreads (I'm not posting this year, I've had to deal with a lot of shit in my life so it's embarrassingly low)

>>50912905
>deranged, ticking time bombs, hedonistic and/or perverted (not necessarily in the sexual sense, either)
This is different from real women.... how?

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Realistically speaking, no human man could ever pull this creature off. As much as I would like to marry her, her canon personality would never find humans remotely attractive.

>>50912951
They're similar, but there's a very essential difference between a cast featuring mostly monstrous, super-powered women sporting aeons' worth of wisdom plus life experience, and your average hysterical, spoiled college chick.
Mokou's type of deranged is different from a BPD bitch's type of deranged, for example. She's actively manlier and tougher than most guys, though suffering from immortality for years tends to do that to you (except if you're lunarian, apparently). Some of those women are so detached from human existence, i wouldn't doubt if their taste in partners would also completely deviate from the norm to questionable degrees.

>>50912158
but underage girls have tighter pussies and are hotter and don't have the stinky entitled personalities women develop after high school

>>50912349
Where's his tuxedo and green head sack? How am I supposed to self insert if there's no green head sack???

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>>50912986
My belief is that love doesn't care much about what's "Realistic" and we human beings have a seemingly volatile existence. One day you could wake up and become a completely different person, sometimes we're capable of just 'understanding' things that we can neither quantify, nor convey, and what's more: I'm beginning to suspect that we are capable of manipulating events in the past with our actions in the present and future.
Thinking "oh, she's a Youkai's youkai, no way she could love a Human" is accepting a framing based on consensus, but what makes the consensus true? Which consensus are you talking about? What constitutes a Human or a Youkai in their entirety and what it means for them to love each other?

If you fell for Nue, and I mean, really developed a love for her beyond explanation, I think you could court her. I believe if your love was earnest and you chose to listen to your spirit that fortune would test your resolve, but aid you in equal measure if you held to the truth, and whatever hardships your relationship with the ancient Youkai would create, love would give you the strength to overcome those.
But that's only if you'd realize that fact, or even had the chance to, because most people retard their spiritual sense and believe in a cold empirical world where our thinking only affects reality through the direct action they produce, a very Protestant belief, and one you'd have to overcome if you want a Youkai wife, because just like 'catching' luck, 'catching' a love requires that you open your spirit as a closed hand can grab onto nothing.
>>50911747
>Which 2hu would you actually have a chance with and how would you court them?
My spirit is open, I play to win, and whatever exists beyond this world answers my prayers.
I will court the one who captures my heart with 100% success!

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ROMANTIC
FULFILLMENT

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>>50913552
You know what's more? You idiots really think that you have a choice in the matter?
Right now, you're kept safe by the fact that we live in an abstract society where you can seclude yourselves from everyone else: but not so in Gensokyo. There, you're gonna have to go outside, and I imagine a lot of you will do well because all of you are addicts and without getting your fix all that time, attention, and drive is going to go somewhere else. You ever see what happens when a crack addict gets clean? The crack addicts who survived already went through natural selection and the ones that are able to get over their addiction have maximum drive.
And when you become successful, learned, confident, and happy, you know who notices this? Woman, as well as the other demonic creature that inhabits Gensokyo that also happen to be Woman: Youkai.
>Oh no way some unlovable loser like me will ever get a cute Youkai suitor!
Fools. Be on the lookout for Tanuki and foxlike behavior, visit the shrines regularly and pray for protection, find a nice woman with a long, VERIFIABLE, family history who didn't fall from a peach tree or something when she was a kid(That's an Amonojaku). And if, IF you happen to catch a glimpse of a Youkai in the moonlight, the sight making your chest tighten, and you can only ever think of her from then on, know that when you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes back into you and that darkness feels the same: it also sees you at your best when you are unaware.

Nothing more dangerous then a loser mentality combined with someone who's overcome their personal troubles.

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run

>>50912158
Reimu was underage when you probably were, but the Akyuu arc proves at least a decade has passed since EoSD so she's at the least in her mid 20s, and probably in her 30s like the average /jp/sie.

>>50913683
they are going to kiss each other while you watch

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Most youkai don't get along with humans and would be terrible wives. Most.

>>50913704
So, the average 3dpd hates men, a youkai is an upgrade

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>>50913840
>missing the point just to whine like some /r9k/ tourist
kuso post

>>50913861
Who are you quoting

>>50912986
that's part of why Yandere 2hus are liked
These centuries old monsters wouldn't be attracted to humans normally, but funny wiring could make them like one human in particular far more than normal
not many plausible ways for a youkai to be attracted to any particular human without specific exceptions like that

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itt: easy prey for the first youkai who says she loves them

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>>50913882
all she has to do is brush her tail against my arm, really

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>>50913882
Nah, the second one strand of Zanmu's hair touches my bare arm I'm going to assume it's a plot and empty my heart.
I won't be fooled!

>>50912946
You read more books in 2022 then I did in this decade

>>50911747
Which touhou would be fond of a inexpreinced boyscout manfailure?
I have strong ethics and dropped out of college.

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>>50917098

>>50917118
Nice, thanks. I would play retro games with her.

>>50917118
Nah, that one is exclusively into real estate owners.

>>50911747
I'd probably be a power couple with Meiling because I like to lift weights and train! Alas I'm into Sakuya...

>>50917201
Good news! Meiling is also into Sakuya!

>>50913960
I was about to call you weak, but then I imagined it happening to me and...

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>>50913591
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
STOP MAKING ME WANT THIS

>>50917251
You can't marry a spider. She'll web you up in the underground! And bring you fly-wrapped gifts...

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>>50917247
it might be alright to be weak...

>>50917262
Vile creature will scam you out of your children.

We really need more yanhu threads
They were so much fun

>>50917262
No no no no I'm better than this I'm better then this

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>>50912493
>>50912531
why have one when you can have both? the other girl will automatically gravitate closer once you bagged her friend

>>50917303
Then you end up being just a sperm donor kicked out of the shrine so Reimu and Marisa can be wives with each other (canon)!

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>>50917262
I like this fox more, though...

>>50917312
Imagine tricking everyone into thinking you're dating Marisa when it's a fox & you are about to cause an incident

>>50917325
I just want the fox desu

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i want the schizo zoomer girlfriend. imagine the freaky sex

>>50911747
i would find a way to get invited to the scarlet devil mansion and silently read at the library until one day patchy and i strike a conversation. im okay with doing this for years. id be happy either way if we never talk or get close.

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>>50917421
i find the assistant a bit more approachable

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>>50911747
Shou. I think realistically she's probably one of the more sane individuals in Gensokyo atleast going off of what little there is of her in the print works, though even if she wasn't I would still throw my life away trying to get her attention. I would happily practice Buddhism if it meant getting to live with her, and joining her for the drinks she sneaks behind Byakuren's back sounds like bliss. I would literally kill to take Nazrins place in a heartbeat... Its just not fair

Do not wander the mountain alone...

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>>50917665
it's okay i found a friend

>>50917679
Not a dog! That's a wolf!!!

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>>50911747
>vengeful spirit

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>>50917303
Being stuck in a love triangle between Reimu and Marisa sounds like hell.
Though it's also funny imagine them fighting over poor Anon.

>>50918709
It's fun until you catch a stray master spark to the face or a stray needle to the bair and tackle.

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>>50917270
People always cooked up good stories about the yooks getting grabby

>>50918828
This is why you shouldn't hang out with this hag too much.

I could maybe be a good blood bag for Remilia, I'm chunky enough. Maybe she'd find me entertaining eventually. Thats about it.

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>>50918828
Imagine the milk

>>50920019
If she's that saggy by default, how low would her boobs hang if they were additionally encumbered by milk?

>>50920029
Look at konoshiges stuff and you'll know

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>>50919119
remi is weak to flattery

>>50920043
Yes, but you've got to be direct and personal about it. Having her house or beauty or maid flattered is an everyday occurrence for her. But if you bring up specific features of her face or mannerisms, for example, that really gets past the barrier of mundanity.

>>50911747
My favourite 2hu is Kaguya but I know better then to try her route

>>50911769
Kogasa is mentally like ten year old.

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>>50912986
She only has one love, anon.

You cannot compare to the men who bested her in her prime.

>>50924650
Forgive me but his face looks a lot like the meximutt wojack.

Here is the cold hard truth: none of the touhous would want to be in a relationship with you or have sex with you, let alone start a family with you. In fact, you would be so insignificant that they wouldn't even bother to hate you. They'ed just ignore you and hope you go away. Like a fart. It doesn't matter what excuse you have it will never come true. Pure cope and delusions

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except benben. she's cool like that, date benben

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>>50924742
what the fuck is this faggot saying?

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>>50911830
Why would Suwako be against it? The bloodline must continue...

As for the youkais, since Rinosuke exists, it means that you can impregnate and create family with youkai too...

>>50924742
Maybe, maybe

>>50911747
I'm far too autistic to bag a 2hu girl, as I only go out and seek people that have things or information I need that I know or think they may have

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>>50924742
My wife don't hear you, mate

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>>50913882
>>50913960
We're talking about love and an actual relationship, not just a quick fling. She's not even the best option for that either. You could get a better experience with lessa trouble from plenty others.

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>>50926210
tube foxes are monogamous. you'd be in it for the long haul and her belly will always be full of kits

>>50926210
Tsukasa is a tease but her species mates for life
If you tube the fox you will be shackled to her forever

>>50926267
A slutty vanillafox?!

>>50926793
it's more likely than you think

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>>50926267
Not only do they mate for life but the vixen will usually build a den or take over the male's den to live in as a bonded pair and raise multiple litters of kits. The vixen will usually stay in the den feeding them while the male goes out to amass a kill surplus which is brought back to the den to feed the mother, until the kits are old enough to hunt for themselves where they leave and the pattern begins again.
So don't go putting your penis in that vixen unless you want to have her decide you two need to build a family together.

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>>50927069
>So don't go putting your penis in that vixen unless you want to have her decide you two need to build a family together.
Nah, 75 or bust.

>>50927338
I want to rub and kiss that belly

>>50927338
Why does she have a giant what I can only assume is a badly misplaced clitoral erection in her panties.

>>50924742
In Japanese myths, magical women are famous for falling in love with fishers, or wood-cutters, or all manner of working human men. Granted, the romance doesn't end well, but it's been known to happen.

>>50931993
>Granted, the romance doesn't end well
*Most of the times

>>50931993
>Granted, the romance doesn't end well
Isn't that usually because their lovers turn on them in order to fit in with the rest of the humans?

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>>50931999
And doesn't almost all love end badly regardless of it is a magical woman or not? Like, what percentage of the population could say they had romance which "ended well"? Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, and those are often preceded and followed by a slew of doomed relationships. Can anyone in this thread say they had romance which had a satisfactory conclusion?

File: male traits.png (144.5 KB)

Which touhous would most likely be attracted to which personality on this chart?
It's a very broad condensed generalization chart

>>50933507
>Can anyone in this thread say they had romance
Not really, no.

>>50934086
I have.

>>50931993
That still doesn't describe your average /jp/sie. Though, if humans are okay with breeding with yooks and yooks are okay with breeding with humans in Gensokyo, how has the village not lost its humanity by mutting itself?

>>50934113
Why do you think they chase out any youkai they find? The average villager probably thinks fucking a youkai is like how you'd hear some dude stuck his dick in a bear.

>>50933507
>Can anyone in this thread say they had romance which had a satisfactory conclusion?
Have you ever heard of the survivor bias?

anyone here with experience in lucid dreaming
how do i become sumireko and get into gensokyo every night

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>>50934194
hopefully this video helps.
https://youtu.be/svBrJltuqac

>>50934309
the video didn't help desu

>>50934121
It's more like finding out your daughter slept with a Nazi soldier in occupied france.

Honestly, with 99% of Touhou girls I think this line is appropriate:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3j9muCo4o0

Just replace scientists with your average JP user.

>>50911747
As a physics major I'm sure Renko and I could hit it off rather well!

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>>50935599
I like to think about that and what I'd be willing to give up in exchange.
Frankly, to marry Okuu, I would gladly let her tear out my heart and eat it, living the rest of my days with a small nuclear reactor in my chest instead that she has to maintain.
BUT, I wouldn't sit idly by and let underground Youkai eat humans. If I saw that happening, I'd gladly die to try and stop it.

I'm willing to give up parts of myself, but I won't compromise on my morals.

>>50935740
Wait, are you that guy that suggested a weird fetish-y version of gensokyo where youkai marriage is allowed but humans have to give something up to them first like a limb because... something something fear?

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>>509357
Yes, and I binned about 2/3rds of my initial draft of that story because it wasn't capturing Youkai faithfully and it also wasn't manly enough.
>fetish-y version of gensokyo
Ironically, I'm trying to get away from typical fan-fiction fetishistic writing, like senseless brutalization followed by hyper-gratifying healing, and am focusing on creating relationships that encounter obvious difficulties and develop because of the efforts of both bride and groom.

>>50935599
Yeah I would go on a suicide mission for Kaguya what about it?!

>>50935599
So what you're saying is I can put my penis in a tengu

>>50936010
>So what you're saying is I can put my penis in a tengu
yes but she's going to get really clingy and bother you at all times day.

>>50936010
Similarly to how you can put your cock in a closing bear trap, both possible、and same effect.

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Which 2hu would like a hairy Turk like me?

>>50936548
kagerou

>>50936593
>Asena is the name of a she-wolf associated with the Göktürks' foundation myth. According to the myth, the ancestress of the Göktürks was a she-wolf, mentioned, yet unnamed in two different "Wolf Tales". The legend of Asena tells of a young boy who survived a battle; a female wolf finds the injured child and nurses him back to health. The she-wolf, impregnated by the boy, escapes her enemies by crossing the Western Sea to a cave near the Qocho mountains and a city of the Tocharians, giving birth to ten half-wolf, half-human boys. Of these, Yizhi Nishidu becomes their leader and establishes the Ashina clan, which ruled over the Göktürk and other Turkic nomadic empires.
checks out desu

>>50936164
Now tell me the downsides.

File: transformation.webm (2.7 MB)

How do I marry a hermit oni?

>>50936008
Kaguya is honestly a pretty good catch if you can actually get her.

>>50942563
Is she? She's traditionally attractive, sure, but also extremely sheltered on top of being nobility, with little awareness of a normal life. Mokou of all people has been trying to civilize her as per CDS, but that's a recent development.

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>>50911747
Wow, no one else wants to court Alice? Then this will be easy. After watching all these other girls get courted she'll be desperate for someone to pursue her. I'll just wait for her to come to town and give her a smile.

>>50924742
Not with that attitude!

>>50933507
>conclusion
Ah, but this is where you're wrong. Much importance is given to the end while all that preceded it is overlooked. The end doesn't necessarily encapsulate the whole story, and the bulk of it often is satisfactory enough.

>>50943058
You are the more wrong, unfortunately. Love is almost entirely defined by its ends and conclusions, which is why even the most worthless "romance" still centers around those peaks where it temporarily or permanently expends itself, the expression of love, a kiss, marriage, sex, final separation, mutual death, the last two and occasionally the first holding most weight. You also fail to recognize those cases where alleged conclusions retain a fatal allure, so that the end is also part of what preceeds the end, the ultimate destruction of the lovers not encapsulating the story but rather simply being that story.
>satisfactory enough
The unending series of meetings and separations that threaten to kill both parties, now from joy, then from sorrow? The apparent inability for any older romance to ever view the sexual act as even remotely worthy of detail, let alone an end in and of itself? Or mythological/folklore examples, where personal desire and satisfaction have no foothold? This is a question of economics, not passion.

>>50943857
Aint readin allat + ur mom gay lmao get rekt

>>50943857
Reading posts like this, it's truly a mystery why everyone on this website is so miserable and alone.

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>>50942942
This Anon vanished late last night after being lured into the Forest of Magic by a magician. Please remember to be careful around even seemingly well behaved youkai

>>50944414
Alice only wants anon to be safe though...

>>50944414
As a (self proclaimed) hero I will venture to the magic forest and save that anon from the clutches of the daughter of Shinki and her army of magical dolls!

>>50945072
Poor Alice. Reduced to a byproduct of her mother's loins.

>>50933507
Even if both partners are perfect to each other and never break up or break each other's heart, it will still end badly because one day one of them will die.

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>>50945684
there's a couple outs for immortality

>>50944469
yeah by turning him into a sex doll

>>50945832
Being pampered by a cute girl like Alice is definitely better than dying by a feral youkai.

>>50931993
Just ignore any buddhists or taoists giving you swords and telling you to kill her, and if she says to not spy in her in the bath humor her.

It's that simple.

>>50933401
either that or the yook running away because you saw their animal parts

>>50945855
Sounds more like a "I have no mouth and I must scream" situation vs a mostly quick and painless death.

>>50942712
Her being sheltered is only a problem if you want some kind of manic pixie dream girl. If you just want a stay at home wife you can't pick better, especially since you'll basically get Eirin as a free extra.

>with little awareness of a normal life
That's basically all princess types.

>Mokou of all people has been trying to civilize her as per CDS, but that's a recent development.
I mean, people have been trying since IN going by print works.

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>>50946620
Stop being so mean to Alice! This is exactly the reason why she can't let your dummy self leave her house alone. Don't worry though! She'll still love you!

i already cuddle Alice every night all night long. she's not interested in any of you

>>50946685
How do i get allowed to leave.

>>50946711
hi alice, ban evading again?

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>>50946732
Ask for her permission I guess? She'll want to accompany you unless Marisa or another person is capable of protecting you.

>>50943955
Imbecile
>>50943982
You single out my post, from this entire thread, to grandstand? Delirious behavior. Be ready for when that misery you've hallucinated into my post teams up with your banal dreams of happiness to strangle you.

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>>50946894
Fucking kek. Get anons mad enough and they start talking like sephiroth. Take a fucking chill pill or go back to /r9k/ ya faggot.

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>>50946920
>talking like sephiroth

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>>50946741

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>>50946894
Ayo why is blud so mad lmaooo

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If I off myself and become a ghost like Yuyu, is there even the slightest chance I could become her husband? Would it be a good idea bros?

>>50947151
Why kill yourself when you can just learn how to fly and go visit her personally?

Also, killing yourself just to get with a woman? I very much doubt Eiki would be happy about that

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>>50947564
I don't think we could consumate our marraige if I also wasn't a ghost. No ghost sex or ghost babies.

>>50947684
Don't forget that a Yama will decide where you'll go after death, and considering the fact that suicide is considered a grave sin, it's not likely that you'll end up in Hakugyokuro.
Not to mention that Touhou ghosts aren't ghosts in the traditional western sense, you can touch them just fine, and therefore have sex with them even while alive.

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>>50947718
There's no way to persuade Eiki otherwise to send me to the Netherworld? Oh well. I guess I'll settle for having half-ghost mutt babies then.

>>50947718
Yuyuko herself took her own life under the Saigyou Ayakashi thoughever, not to mention that this would mean that the Yama would have to condemn every Samurai in history who harakiri'ed.

>>50947564
>Eiki looking down at your death certificate and then back up at you numerous times
>”For a woman? Seriously???”

Hnngg need Eirin sama... she'd probably love me like a dog. But maybe she's a white woman...no no time for negativity! It's gonna happen!!