>>43539708 i can only imagine steve irkle whenever i hear the phrase “innocent black men” desu. but regardless, get that bag, sis >>43539718 who said i did? >>43539720 zased. you have to lose yourself to find yourself >>43539750 right on, anon. i also want to get ffs after i get clavicle reduction
>>43539754 i’m doing well, actually. a bit sleepy but i’m alright, thank you for asking. how are you? >>43539771 depends desu. i do vocal stim sometimes but i do try to speak in a higher tone on most days
>>43540333 I'm on the last day of my vacation with my bf and mulling over some thoughts. Dealing with a lot of contradictory thoughts and still trying to smother AGP sometimes even if it's very clearly there.
>>43539692 Being a cis male on HRT is beginning to conflict with my progressive values. If I hold trans women to the same standard as I hold myself many of them aren’t women either and that makes me feel bad. Cis man on hrt, have you dealt with these feelings?
>>43540372 Yeah lol I just reason that this quality of over-self awareness and unwillingness to identify with femininity is on its own indicative that I am not a woman
>>43540701 I think it's being more self aware than the average hon without acquiring the socialization of girlboss twinkhons and passoids that causes it
>>43540332 >>43540350 i’m still a few thousand and a doctor away xd. i’ve been thinking about going to the same doctor as that one tranny whose post went viral a while ago but still not sure desu. also i’m sorry you’re feeling that way… i hope your day improves at the very least:’) >>43540372 >Cis man on hrt, have you dealt with these feelings? not really. i see myself less as a tranny and more of a weird eunuch thing desu >>43540375 me too but that isn’t going to stop me from trying to find a way out one way or another. you should keep going as well. it isn’t over until it’s over >>43540496 you are very welcome
>>43542492 >$40k yeah, definitely looks like i’ll be saving up for even longer lmao. still, between going overseas and paying that amount, i think i would have to go with the latter >>43542504 shoulder length if you wanna go with that softboy look imo >>43542572 not the first time that’s been said to me desu. but i am curious as to why you see me that way? >>43542598 i will never be a tranny
>>43544879 This is why I'm gonna try and insurancemaxx. If that Kaldir fella can get her ribs fully covered by insurance I can probably get shoulders maybe covered. Would also maybe help since I have chronic shoulder pain and this might serve to help fix that.
>>43544910 jesus, i’m sorry to hear about the body pain also is the insurance thing actually viable? i’m kind of tempted to try >>43544992 don’t die on me >>43545031 >just asking if that’s the case, then… i have no idea desu. i feel like i’d actually know if i were a tranny
>>43547691 >>43548519 cute idea but alas i, too, will remain a man >>43548540 >tfw stuck in canada sad >>43548548 i am a man just like you are>:( >>43548916 based? it’s always nice to see a fellow cis man
>>43549132 you can do it, anon, i believe in you >>43549466 i sleep in a big bed with my wife >>43549486 and you will continue to hear it until i am no longer cid or on hrt >>43549543 flattering, but yes, i do date men >>43549651 grats on the ffs. who’d you go to? >>43549961 yes, but i am taking estrogen
>>43551904 >who’d you go to? the usual tranny clinic in istanbul, turkey. there I also found out just how many of us really are. the dr that operated on me told me most of his patients aren't trannies but various versions of hrt femboys. apparently i was the most feminine patient of his this year so far lololol.
>>43553067 >various versions of HRT Femboys I think that's just what happens when trannies are oppressed enough socially They pivot to HRT Femboys because they're not allowed to be women See basically every "third gender" around the globe
>>43553121 sure, that does play a role. But being a tranny in turkey is mainstream, hrt is otc and employment discrimination is way lower than in supposedly liberal countries. And half of the customers are turkish citizens. Anyway, how did the vacation go? :3 >>43553157 https://acibademinternational.com/facial-feminization-surgery-in-turkey-why-its-a-top-choice/ I will know in a month or two if it was good for me. Likely yes but I'm also not the perfect customer to ask since I chose lighter procedures (with 99%+ likelihood of success) as my goal isn't to pass as a woman all the time.
>>43553222 Vacation went well but my libido was in the tank for some reason so no boyremoval just yet. Starting to wonder if I'm just sexually broken. >.>
>>43553238 >no boyremoval unfortunate >Maybe it's just stress It sure does play a big role. performance anxiety is real. >>43553274 trach shave and jaw contouring.
>>43553342 also I'm just a massive bitch and I turn everything that could be hot into something funny because I'm terrible and have used humor as my coping mechanism for everything
>>43553385 heh, you sound like me a year ago. you'll be fine as long as you persist. find something that makes you relax from time to time. get your brain accustomed to being relaxed too.
>>43549961 when i was younger i used pueraria and it was stronger than the e i take today. i later tried it again and it was weaker. i think i was either more sensitive bc i was younger or it really depends on the brand or batch or smth.
>>43552162 i’m mainly indifferent to it, but i will admit that i do find it insulting when people try to force masculinity onto me >>43553611 still nominal, nipples have been pretty sore, though
>>43553502 really you want one? im insecure abt it. well i like my voice best when its soft and airy but i dont consider that my gay voice even if others might, the gay voice i dont like is when its nasally... sometimes it gets like that and i cant do anything about it. thats the annoying gay voice i think but when its soft and airy its nice and i like it.
>>43553515 im not sure. i think its partly psychological like testosterone makes your baseline voice register lower and more dominant and from the chest and also more monotone which matches the mental shift
>>43553596 so wrong. its not physically changes your actual anatomy of course but its changing how you use it, the baseline register and all the other stuff like emotions, musicality, expressiveness.
>>43555637 >really you want one? yes. I'd take a faggy voice over my current one. I sound like an authoritative radio voice. Very very masculine. It's pleasant, but it doesn't fit with how I view myself and how I look nowadays. I'm confused for a woman half of the time for crying out loud. I really need a softer voice, even if it sounds faggy.
>>43555637 The thing is I had a gay voice growing up that I trained out of me, then it came back after quarantine (probably lack of socialization), and then HRT seemed to tighten up my throat? I've had weird health issues on it. Autoimmune and headache stuff. It does also drop again on prog.
>>43555637 I really like my gayvoice actually I need to voicetrain but my voice is already pretty androgynous and I stopped trying to suppress my natural voice when I stopped repressing, which was a big relief anyway I just like that people hear my voice and know I really like dick
>>43555780 it sounds like you have that booming resonance, probably a really hearty voice, deep and bellowing. if you want it to be softer you have to do the opposite of what guys do to sound authoritative, instead of talking with your chest, move your adams apple up and back and talk with your throat and jaw and tongue, using your chest only as support for texture. i think your goal is totally achievable but i also think its best to be comfortable with however your voice feels natural like i only ever "voice trained" to to try to sound more manly and straight but its impossible to force forever and i remember when i was able to stop worrying about my voice and talk softer it was a sign i was comfortable and trusted the people i was around. >>43555852 >The thing is I had a gay voice growing up that I trained out of me, then it came back after quarantine (probably lack of socialization) and then HRT seemed to tighten up my throat same! i think i know what you mean with the tightening throat too had weird health issues on it. >Autoimmune and headache stuff. It does also drop again on prog. thats scary so you went off and got better? and i wonder why that would happen with prog..
>>43556231 please dont :( you have cool energy, i like seeing your posts. >>43556594 im not going to pinkpill, but for me its not about changing myself, and thinking of it that way stresses me out, but thats why im here in the cis male on hrt thread and not any of the trans threads or gaygen threads. i just find that it helps me feel better and be more myself, not changing myself into something im not. but i still come to this board, which means life isnt perfect of course. thats because being a cis male on hrt or cis presenting hrtwink or whatever is a weird way to live and its nice to not be alone and have others to share and relate with. maybe you just need to find people you get along with preferably irl where you dont have to change yourself
>>43553222 pls give an update when the swelling goes down, cheaper ffs would be worth it for me, i also dont care about passing too much and id like to pass it off as "oh i just had some work done" than have it be obvious im trying to look like a woman
>>43558725 >id like to pass it off as "oh i just had some work done" that will be the way I put it for my closest friends. for everyone else I won't even admit that. just like I don't admit that I shoot up girljuice. normalfags really like the estrogenized fag (me) as long as they only know about the fag part. so I'm not gonna change that. what i can say so far is that the pain is way lower than I heard trannies describe.
>>43561219 Way less of a loss + everyone can see the writing on the wall.on that one. I think it'd be kinder to leave up the potential good future that never was than trudge on for 50 years of dissapointment.
I’m internally manifesting a future where a happier cismoid posts a selfie on the board 3 years from now and everyone congratulates her on how far she’s come
>>43561840 you're retarded lmfao. even if people liked this it wouldnt prove me wrong. >b-but a lot of people like this thing! the average person is retarded. 50% of people are under 100 iq. you are probably one of them
>>43561878 the only time i've ever been to a psychologist was for an iq test and idk what i scored but wahtever it was it was high enough to go to a gifted school. i did burn out by middle school doebeit
>>43561960 >Gifted school >Didn't tell you the score >Was randomly "for no reason" taken for an IQ test. >Couldn't keep up with the material past elementary school
>>43562023 I refused to participate in gym class and they just passed me for 0 reason. I think the PE teachers arent able to deal with the administrative process of failing someone
>>43562137 i felt a flash of aap yesterday and i did pullups and admired the pump in the mirror. my v taper looked so hot. i felt like an andro elf, it was cool. you should try it! i had fallen for the mtf trap of wanting my upper body to be weak so it felt good to love my muscles again. i may only be 18 bmi but aap had me deluded like a boomer sissy hon into feeling like arnold schwarzenegger lol
>>43562254 That’s what I identified as my whole life but it might have just been tranny cope because I really regret the masculinization that happened while I wasn’t paying attention
>>43559130 i really want to do something like this. i need something done for my sanity but im afraid of getting botched or becoming permanently uncanny.
>>43560545 >at 29 unfortunately nta but if your goal isn't to pass as a woman, late 20s is in fact better because the booba growth is slower (and lower overall if you don't get fat and don't overdo prog) and you basically get to hrtwink (ish) for longer than other guys. after all E is the best anti-aging treatment known to man. t. 35yo estrofag, started at 28
>>43561510 >industry which industry would that be? estrogen is a rounding error in the pharma industry income. It's literally not worth it to pay even one shill for this shit.
>>43562576 >i really want to do something like this well, then do. light procedures are actually not that expensive. >im afraid of getting botched or becoming permanently uncanny the risk is VERY low on lighter/less aggressive procedures. the worst outcome is that there's no easily visible change, desu. I don't run that risk 'cause at least the trach shave is visible lul.
>>43562938 nta but what if I wanted a feminine fat distribution + softerskin with the option to socially transition years later (if I pass)? Would I have to hondose or ask my doctor for a fully feminizing HRT regimen?
>>43563001 idk anon. If you want fast booba growth just cycle prog ~2yrs in and get more aggressive with weight cycling also from around ~24mo mark onwards. I went a bit slower because I was under no hurry and my main objective was to delay twinkdeath. All things considered, it's been working out just fine. I'm confused for a fresh-out-of-college pooner and I really can't ask for more given that I'm "unc" by this board's standards full of brainwormed youngshits haha. >>43563063 Ideally ask for full but start with lower doses. You have to remember that results vary a lot by individual biology. Maybe your receptors are "better" than mine and even a hondose would bring faster/better results than it did on me with a higher dose. A lot of this is very individual(ized). That's why I do (relatively) regular blood tests because you can't judge by the visible results alone. A level of e2 at ~300 can have widely different outcomes on two different individuals. And going too high above 300 is also a lottery - it can fry your receptors or actually do a lot of good (if the goal is to hope to pass at some point). Also, your plan has a slightly bigger chance of working if you're not in a hurry. Unironically I have a higher chance of passing now or in a year or so than I ever did at 28 or 30.
>>43564910 nta but there's nothing wrong with wanting to be pretty. one day we'll demystify estrogen or maybe find an even better anti-aging treatment. until then, we just do our best with the tools available.
>>43539692 Do you do makeup? If so, how did you learn it? Makeup is so difficult and confusing for my moronic brain, i just wanna be a pretty femboy so badly.
>>43567169 not op but i would definitely recommend buying makeup kits from sephora and laura geller also for tutorials and stuff i like to watch jen phelps a lot
>>43569054 >>43570700 Don't do viagra that's stupid and terrible. Take 5mg of Cialis/Tadalafil every day and don't think about it any further. Your pp will just work. It lasts for 72 hours while viagra lasts for 2.
>>43570977 this, im 16 months on e as a tranny snd i take tadalafil whenever I expect my gf and I to get busy. they call it the "weekend pill" for a reason, take it friday and you can top until monday
