>>34594487
if she's not attractive, is hard to get to a date, and even harder to get further than the first base

File: slx1bdfrhxy41.png (637.0 KB)

>>34594487
It's more difficult with age. How old are you among? I have this question too, I'm 28.

>>34594499
I'm not going to date ugly or fat girls... she has to be at least somewhat atractive to me
>>34594516
I am of the humble age of 21

Give up, guys. There's no virgin women in their 20s, unless they're 400 pounds. But even 400 pounds whales have men in their DMs

>>34594537
I have already come to terms with my fate as a forever virgin halfway. it won't matter as much in the longrun since I plan on becoming an orthodox priest in the future and only wanted happy memories. rather none than tainted

>>34594487
There is *no* reliable way to tell, no. It's also worth noting that sex between two virgins is 100% guaranteed to be the worst sex of your entire life; is that really what you want carved into you?

>>34594570
I do not care if it won't be amazing sex, I care for the sentiment. I refuse to ever give my first time to used goods. I do not mind having relationships and sex with them after I become one of them tho

>>34594570
> Dude you gotta let her get fucked by a dozen dudes then she'll be a sex expert when she gets to you
Porn addict mentality

>>34594487
>hopeless romantic and I want my first time to be with a virgin
There is nothing romantic about virginity. The Cult of the Hymen is a meme that is going to guarantee your unhappiness.

>>34594645
>implying thing that anon didn't imply
It's easy to pretend to win the argument if you don't bother understanding what is being said.

>>34594499
If a woman isn’t attractive, it often means she’s easy and has a high body count. My old neighbor was a perfect example: she was unattractive, lived on welfare with three kids, yet she still had a different guy coming over almost every Friday night. The men would leave the next morning looking ashamed, but she got laid regularly anyway.

>>34594487
>I want my first time to be with a virgin so that we carve oursleves (metaphorically) into each other forever as each others first loves.
Lmao that's not how it works. You have been watching too many romcom animes. The reality is that you have a 95% chance of breaking up with your first gf/bf.

>>34594487
There are a lot of virgin women in their 20s who are attractive and never sealed the deal due to their own neuroticism/ standards. But obviously you have to be a respectable specimen of a man to be the guy to finally get through to them. These women are usually intelligent as well so you need to be too. If you’re decent looking but funny and clearly serious about your life you can probably nail one down.

>>34595242
Oh and to actually answer your question they’ll tell you they’re virgin if they’re interested. Most women nowadays think men expect an experienced woman so they don’t know that lying about virginity would help their case with certain guys. To be fair most men don’t want virgins because they want easy pleasurable sex for a night up to six months. If you’re friends with the girl and on the level of being able to talk about relationships you’ll 100% find out without having to pry. Also, maybe your area is different, but NEVER mention wanting a virgin. Just conveniently date one when you find her and keep it under wraps that virginity is a standard for you.

>>34595261
>>34595237

>>34594724
Different anon - what did he misunderstand? OP never mentioned 'quality of sex' being a factor, the other guy brought it up insinuating that having sex with a virgin as opposed to an 'experienced' girl is somehow a bad thing that will be 'carved into' OP. I think you're pretending like you don't know what's being said for some reason.

>>34595242
>>34595261
people (friends, women, gays) have called me hot multiple times and my iq is in the 130s is this enouth?
>>34595169
I don't want some permanent romance anime situation. I only want a flawed inexperienced thing that both will remember and be fundamentally shaped by untill the end of our lives. the idea of somebody shaping me but me not them to that extent repulses me

>>34595497
People hardly remember their first times. First times are for the most part pretty shit. If you ever one day have sex you will understand. Now you still have this completely unrealistic fantasy view about sex.

Holy shit, you sound like a loser. Pay a hooker, get your balls emptied and you will realize sex is nothing special. Not some special shit so "that we carve oursleves (metaphorically) into each other forever as each others first loves."

>>34595497
You won't be "shaped" by it you absolute fag. You think first sex is some religious experience like achieving Nirvana or some shit?

>>34594645
I want the girl I'm having sex with to ride me good. I don't want some lame ass virgin whose pussy can't even get wet enough for my dick to be pushed inside it.

>>34594487
Virginity deforms everything, just go to a whore, bust your cock and then try and think and plan etc whatever.

>>34594487
>hopeless romantic
>can't love a non virgin
You're not in any way romantic

>>34594487
>so that we carve oursleves (metaphorically) into each other forever as each others first loves

Or just go and have sex with a nice girl you like. Whats causes those weird ass phantasies in the first place? Everyone had their first time at some point, but it almost never ends up being the love of their lives or anything.

I do not understand why people feel the need to talk me out of my ideal. I have considered and already heard these criticisms both from myself and others. if it is impossible for me, I will simply remain a virgin. I still wish to try the one thing I know I couldn't experience if I took a wrong step forward. I only came for advice how to realise it not nagging

>>34594487
You're born in the wrong century, my guy. With your standards, you'll likely be lonely for the rest of your life. Just like me.

>>34597750
>if it is impossible for me, I will simply remain a virgin.
Please do. Then everybody will be happy, especially women.

>>34597750
They wanted it, too. But they compromised. They're angry at you and want you to compromise, too. So, they'll feel about themselves.

>>34597767
I am not lonely though, I am very happy with my life actually. I have good friends, fullfilling hobbies and am in good health. the only reason I'm interested in this is because I would like to have sex, but I'd rather it be on my own terms
>>34597768
why are you pretending there's something immoral about having standards? it's not like I want a teen, take advantage of mental illness or use women as fuck toys. I am honestly confused why you have such a problem, can you explain please?
>>34597773
is it really just this?

>>34597779
If you're religious, then why do you not adhere to what the Messiah taught in the sermon of the mount?

>>34597779
>is it really just this?
for most of the men that are criticizing you, yes. It is the bitterness of regret

>>34597794
I am agnostic christian-leaning. I am deeply atracted to mysticism and I wish to help others, thus priesthood is in my consideration.
>>34597799
so should I just ignore it? also any advice pls? the only thing that I used as a rule of thumb is if a girl had an ex I don't continue going on dates with her, but I'd rather completely sure

>>34597799
Nta but also women who are non virgin I don’t even need to explain that cope.
There’s a major difference in the psychology of people who refuse to compromise and those who can be swayed in large matters like this. You have the right approach reading your replies. No use arguing it with anyone they will never understand or act in bad faith perhaps unwittingly.

>>34597750
Because your ideal is a stupid fantasy, basically. Seems like you're just making excuses for being a virgin desu
At least you don't sound like a brainrotted incel retard, so good for you

>>34597805
Ignore them. Every view they have on sex only reveals the true emptiness of their hedonistic lives.
You simply need to learn how to listen. Pay attention to intentions and body language. If you can really listen to someone, they'll tell you everything.

>>34597805
Very convenient. You'll not find the woman. Somebody who is pure and puts out for you. It is a contradiction. You have to commit yourself to one or the other. Or you're in for pain. I'll tell you, go to a prostitute for sex.

>>34597819
thank you. and can I somehow broach the topic of sex or sexual relations safely without causing a stirr and also set a framework in which to properly check?
>>34597824
sex without emotional connection is just mentally ruining masturbation, I have seen what it has done to others. I refuse

>>34597828
Then, you have to two choices. Give up on being a priest and marry, if you've got the looks. Or, secondly, live a life of celibacy.

In fact, if you sleep with a woman knowing very well that you'll leave her to be a priest, it is unethical. You're callously decreasing that woman's value for your pleasure. It is against the teachings of Christ.

If I am not mistaken, there are exceptions for being a priest in Eastern orthodoxy and marrying. Look into it. But, if you want sex, you have to marry. Or you'll go to a prostitute for sex.

>>34597828
It may be best to let the topic come up in a natural manner, don't force it and you'll likely get true answers.
And you're right about meaningless sex, don't succumb to degeneracy just because it's the norm.

>>34597837
orthodox priests can remain married if it happens before they become one. before you ask, that is not reason I chose orthodoxy. I do not mind marrying the woman I end up with for my first time, if she meets my standards for it she'll already meet the ones for marriage most likely. I would actually be very happy to. though I do find the experience and sentiment valuable on its own
>>34597847
again, thank you. so it's best to wait for all to reveal itself before escalating? or should I escalate with at least kissing or something more emotionally intimate first? I would personally prefer not to, getting too invested from either side would just lead to hurt

>>34597849
Maybe you should make up your mind, are you trying to find a wife or are you trying to get your dick wet once in your life before giving up? By your standards you would ruin that girl's future so think carefully

>>34597849
A good way to sniff out a fraud is to ask him about the scripture. Test, if she knows it by heart. If she does, then, in all likelihood, she does adhere to it, too. After all, a fraud would not have cared to study it. Go for a girl in your church. If she likes you, then marry her. Then, after you married her, have sex.

>>34597857
I would like to find a wife. what I meant was I am aware it might fail, but even then if it was someone I trully wanted to be with it was a risk worth taking
>>34597863
it is moreso simply fullfilling my standards one of which is virginity. also you seem to asume I am a baptised christian, that I am not, I do go to orthodox bible classes

>>34597867
>my standards
If you call yourself a Christian, baptized or not, then marriage is necessary. Read up the sermon of the mount. Or the explanation of Paul in 1 Corinthians 7. How you're going to demand standards from the woman, when you don't have standards for yourself? Hypocrisy.

>>34597867
you're a selfish, lascivious, miscreant, everyone in this thread can tell you're full of it and have no real religious or christian sentiments or values, and are lying about wanting a wife. You're a naive, horny, hymen worshipping freak who wants to take away what you consider valuable in a woman without committing to her. I weep for whatever church you plan to serve as a self proclaimed "agnostic" priest seeking to take a woman's "virginity" while at the same time seeing nonvirgins as valueless, disgusting. You're not a romantic, you have a fetish.

>>34597880
fair, I will read more into this, although it was only a small mention of my plans, considering I'm still figuring out who I want to be. you have convinced to be stricter on myself, thank you
>>34598475
when did I ever imply I see non virgins as something bellow. also I do not plan on becoming a priest nor a christian if I remain agnostic, obviously that is why I am going to bible classes. if I see that christianity trully wasn't for me, I won't convert

>>34597819
Sure, our lives are empty, but not OP's, who is chasing an impossible fantasy for no logical reason.

>>34597779
>why are you pretending there's something immoral about having standards?
You can label anything you like as a "standard"; doing this doesn't prevent it from being immoral. If you say, for example, "All I want is a woman who lets me punch her repeatedly in the face every day and break her nose once a fortnight" or "All I want is a woman who lets me force feed her until she weighs more than 1000lb" or "All I want is a woman I can keep permanently chained to the radiator who never wants to leave the house" you could just as well rationalise any one of those away by saying "What's wrong with having standards?" And yet they are all clearly wrong. It should be clear to anyone of even modest intelligence that some "standards" are reasonable and some are not; that there is nothing wrong with having *reasonable* standards, and that there (more or less by definition) is something wrong in having unreasonable ones.

Requiring someone to have been saving herself up for you before she met you is an *unreasonable* standard to hold someone to. Given that a team of world-leading scientists armed with state-of-the-art scanning and diagnostic equipment couldn't tell whether someone is a virgin or not (because literally NOTHING in a person is either physically or mentally different after having sex once) it is also not a *sensible* standard to hold someone to. And given that any woman who is still a virgin will only be a virgin because she has no real interest in sex with anyone ever, and marrying her will result in a guaranteed dead bedroom for life, it is also not a practical requirement. Given that this:
>>34595497
>I only want a flawed inexperienced thing that both will remember and be fundamentally shaped by untill the end of our lives.
CANNOT HAPPEN, it's a requirement that is based on a fundamentally incorrect perception of how sex works.

So honestly, until you have a realistic impression of what loss of virginity actually does to someone, just don't date anyone.

>>34594546
>I have already come to terms with my fate as a forever virgin halfway.
Why not go the whole way?

> it won't matter as much in the longrun since I plan on becoming an orthodox priest in the future and only wanted happy memories. rather none than tainted
So you prize virginity in women but not in yourself? Do you know how many warnings there are in the New Testament about hypocrisy?

Plus, as the other anon pointed out, orthodox priests can be married, so long as they get married before they are ordained, and the *majority* of orthodox priests are married.

>>34598475
why are you so angry with him? Wanting love and intimacy is normal. Give him a break

>>34598686
>because literally NOTHING in a person is either physically or mentally different after having sex once
cope
pair bonding is all fucked up afterwards; don't delude yourself + it's also embarrassing for men to have had LESS experience than the woman LOL like this is always going to be in the back of your mind (but you're likely a very solipsitically minded woman, who's not able to put herself in the shoes of somebody else)

>>34594537
so the solution is to hit on teenagers?

>>34594570
how no pair bonding mfs look at the world

>>34597779
Don't let these fags beat you down anon, if you're active about finding a wife, marrying a virgin is definitely possible at 21, especially if you reach out to girls +-2 years. Don't be a gnostic, it's just not right.

>>34598872
Pair bonding is not real. Go fuck some hooker and get over these childish fantasies.

The fact that women are born with hymens means there's a way to tell if women are virgins, it points to the goodness of God.

>>34598881
I will not compromise myself for marriage by doing this vile thing.

>>34598881
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pair_bond

It is often easy to deduce a woman is probably not a virgin if she mentions any serious relationships in her past. The other way around though, e.g. is she a virgin if she never seriously dated, is undoable. Especially if a woman has decided to pretend she is, there is no way you will know otherwise. Even with the hymen, not like guys will be able to check for that, and blood on the sheets is easily done by fucking on your first day of period or even just stabbing yourself with a needle to draw a few drops of blood. This is even ignoring it IS possible to have an intact hymen and lose it without bleeding at all, so even the blood method is hardly hard evidence aside from being faked easily.

>>34598903
some women be like
>yes I sucked the cocks of the whole dorm at university but I'M STILL VIRGIN BC TECHNICALLY I DID NOT HAVE PENETRATIVE SEX

>>34598913
Well yeah that too, even more extreme, I have (personally) known women that were so aware that their vaginal virignity was prized that if they wanted to tie a guy to them or have sex they would just opt for anal instead.

And even without doing anything physical I'm pretty sure most men looking for a virgin would be at least as put off to realize she had sold sexual content online even if she was physically inexperienced. There is just so much you cannot know with certainty, it does not get better than trust that is inspired by what you do know about them.

>>34598783
He does not want love and intimacy. He wants to satisfy a sadistic fetish.

>>34598882
There is no way to tell if a woman is a virgin or not.

>>34598882
Hymens often break before sex is even introduced. Can happen riding a bike. Also some hymens are naturally perforated. I would recommend properly educating yourself about them from medical publications on women's health.

>>34594570
Yes. That’s what I’ve been craving since I was 13.

>>34594537
Trust me, if youre phisically unattractive and/or autistic you won't get many men,

>>34594720
Cope

>>34595261
>maybe your area is different, but NEVER mention wanting a virgin
Why?

>>34597779
>is it really just this?
Yes; life is a giant crab bucket, especially when it comes to sexual matters.

>>34598951
they don't break as often as this meme is spread, using hymens that break before sex to defend fornication is as useless as trying to use intersex people to defend transvestitism

>>34598686
>comparing physical assault, gluttony and neglect to virginity
You people are demented.

>trust the science
Fuck off.

>>34598919
>He wants to satisfy a sadistic fetish
I don't think Sade had much of a purity fetish.

>>34598870
It is the meta.

>>34598881
>Pair bonding is not real
Someone's mother didn't love him.

>>34598951
>Hymens often break before sex is even introduced
>often
Give us a percentile from your medical literature.

>>34594487
Wait until marriage to have sex. It's implicit that you expect the same of a partner, and in any case, most women who are loose with sex won't be interested in waiting that long.

>>34598686
>Requiring someone to have been saving herself up for you before she met you is an *unreasonable* standard to hold someone to.
Expecting shared values (i.e. her seeing intimacy the same way and refusing to have sex outside of marriage) isn't unreasonable in any way, shape, or form. If OP expects sex outside of marriage, but would get butthurt at a woman for doing exactly that before him, THAT would be unreasonable. But even there, only the judgement is unreasonable. It's hypocritical if he expects sex without commitment only to bemoan the consequences that has on the dating pool when it comes to finding what he wants, but it's not "unreasonable" to act selfishly. Just selfish.

> it is also not a *sensible* standard to hold someone to.
The fact that you're seething this hard over the mere expression of a preference shows that there is, in fact, a salient gap in values. Would you want to date someone you get this pissed off at, to the point where you shit out multiple paragraphs of hysterical exaggerations? No? Then why the fuck are you surprised that someone like OP wouldn't want to date someone like you?

OP here (if you could even believe it)
it seems over the time I was at work and enjoying my day off people from both sides have shat up my thread. I only wanted practical advice, again no nagging

>>34601275
>I only wanted practical advice
How many dates have you been on (in total and with a given woman)?

>>34601311
if you count outings with girls where they thought it was a date but to me it was friendlike then around 12 with 5 girls. if only what I recognise as dates then the number is 5 with 2 girls

>>34601320
That's not much time to learn such intimate details.
I, personally, wouldn't worry about it until you get deeper into a relationship and reach an impasse.

>>34601339
it was 1 date with 1 girl and 4 very good dates (from what the girl said, it seemed geniune) with other one, plus smoking together when we met at the pub we met at. the biggest reason I didn't continue is when she brought up at our zoo date that she was there with her ex and some basic info about him. I already had a couple of bad gut feelings but this one pushed them into overdrive, it simply didn't feel like being with her was the right thing for me

>>34601346
>smoking together
Ugh; tobacco?

>she was there with her ex and some basic info about him
What else did she say about him?
A good method of reconnaissance is to ask her family about her previous partners (subtly).

>>34601346
The fact that she has an ex.

>>34601361
cigarettes, I rarely smoke marijuana and I wouldn't want to have anything with a pothead. she was telling me about his nationality (american, we live in europe), how he also took her to the zoo (it was her idea to go there, I prefer the botanical garden), how long they were together and that they broke because of some outside cause (they were together for ~2.5 years). no sexual details or overt comparison of us, still the way she was talking about him felt wrong
>>34601366
does it not depend? like if it was a "date" when she was in elementary/high school that was more friendlike and didn't escalate, I'd say it doesn't count

>>34601367
>they were together for ~2.5 years
Woah!

>>34601367
>does it not depend?
It does.

>>34598475
Insane post but also kinda right.

>>34601263
>Then why the fuck are you surprised that someone like OP wouldn't want to date someone like you?
Kek. I'm a man, so I'm not at all surprised OP wouldn't want to date me.

>>34598882
It's very unusual these days for a woman still to have an intact hymen by the time she has sex for the first time. Though, a minority do retain their hymen even after they have sex, and don't lose it until they actually give birth. It was never a very reliable indicator, and since tampons and dildos become commonplace, it's absolutely meaningless.

>>34598792
>pair bonding is all fucked up afterwards
You guys really are hilarious. When my partner and I got together she had a body count of 8 and mine was in the 30s. We've been together 14 years now, and are still far more deeply in love than either of us had been with anyone before that. Human pair bonding simply doesn't work remotely like that.

>>34601594
Congratulations; you beat the odds.

>>34601594
virgin detected

>>34594487
If you need your partner to fit a certain imagined ideal... welcome to the eternal virgin club!

File: images (25).jpg (23.9 KB)

What I've gathered so far in order to get with a virgin and how to sus it out.

>Be attractive enough for any regular woman: fit, active, have a sense of style and a personality making it easier to connect with people
>Signs are they'll straight up tell you as experienced women are conditioned to lie or downplay their body count- but it's never 0
>Are closely guarded by their friends and family making them sheltered
>Being younger helps, but looking younger does even better
>Don't bring up cancer terms like "body count" or even direct phrases like "waiting for the right person"
>Religion is a proven non factor in these scenarios because of the amount of miscreants that go to God to repent then try and reclaim their virginity

>>34598475
This post interests me because I swear up and down that I want someone with as much experience as me, which is literally 0 with many failed attempts at establishing a relationship first, but will cope if love truly finds me and she's made maybe one or two mistakes like that before me. Shit, I have had many opportunities for young hot sex in my younger years but I've curved all of that. A hot ginger with a fetish for me, my friends ex, a drunken single girl ready to put after a drive home, an irresponsible cheating girlfriend, someone's wife.... But sin against the flesh is a sin against yourself, and a sin against God, yes, but who's to say that believing in the wrong person is a forgivable offense? Many virgins get raped. Many naive girls get taken advantage of. It's the nuance in these situations that lead me to believe I need someone like them to protect them from the evils of the world while we grow together- for I couldn't possibly comprehend how much that bad impression of sex has impact their lives. I don't know, I'm just hoping my pure heart can reach someone in the same league.

>>34601590
>implying the majority of women are breaking their hymens with tampons
>or that a majority of dildo users start before having sex the first time
fuck right off

>>34603403
Hymens don't exactly break, as a rule, they wear away gradually (long before the woman has sex); and yes tampons contribute to this. And yes, most women will indeed use a sex toy before they have sex for the first time. What planet are you living on?

>>34601594
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8qb0xyJdpA

>>34601590
a hymen cant be "broken"
it can wear away naturally over time or simply just become stretchier with time/age
the hymen is wayyyy more irrelevant than you think and often less visible - you cant just "feel" or "verify" or "check" if someone's been cracked before
what actually makes a difference is pelvic floor muscle tone (mostly influenced by mood/exercise, not actual "proof anything happened") and arousal... and the vajayjay is already very stretchy on its own anyway

moral of the story: open a fucking anatomy book

>>34601263
>most women who are loose with sex won't be interested in waiting that long.
true but some sluts are going to put out for somebody else in that time like Sarah Stock
not a very good method

>>34601585
I obviously mean someone with your sensibilities. Presumably, you'd prefer a woman who had similar contempt for waiting or at least an openness to sex around the same time you want it. Are you really so shocked this preference goes both ways?

>>34603578
>true but some sluts are going to put out for somebody else in that time
Some people are indeed concentrated evil and will pretend to wait while fooling around, but they're quite rare. Even more so if you avoid people who make a career out of a public presence (let alone an undignified thing like literal cagefighting), who tend to have a couple screws loose.

>not a very good method
How so? It's the only method if we're talking about a reliable and repeatable way to be exclusive with one's spouse
No method is perfect for screening out awful people, but I'm just saying that, in practice, most promiscuous people (men or women) won't bother waiting at all. They don't have any interest in duplicity when they can easily screw around for free if they date someone else.