>>7908448
This was quite good
I was glued to it with the pages you posted and finished on pixiv without any distractions
Story is well put together and it made me smile
It reminded me of the short story The Last Question written by Isaac Asimov which I also liked

>>7908448
I like it...and it really makes me feel I should deep down make my comic idea come to life instead of stalling it in a word processor.

>>7908448
You wrote all that? What an accomplishment!

Can't really comment further without giving the story away for others here. Maybe I'll wait a few days. Well done.

>>7908479
Thank you, happy to hear that!

>>7908534
As PAI told Sunshine, the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now. One of my biggest regrets is not earnestly starting learning earlier.

>>7908621
Thank you! I spent a lot of time and effort on this. There are a lot of interesting ideas to chew on. Looking forward to hearing the rest of your thoughts.

>>7908448
I don't wanna say the quiet part out loud not to anger the OP

>>7908965
this is a safe space, speak your mind

I still regularly check the thread, still looking for feedback, any suggested changes before I dump a good chunk of money on printing.

It's a surprisingly sweet oneshot, OP. Well written but you probably already know what's holding you back here. You've got really strange issues with perspective, this is most glaring in some of the smaller panels. The really odd thing is that when you don't have furniture or other items in the frame, the perspective looks alright and correct technically (although I believe you just traced some interiors, there's nothing wrong with that believe it or not) like in the case of your character going down the staircase, or, in the opposite case, it would look uncanny and wrong, like when your character is in a room with a couple of boxes stacked (the boxes are not aligned with the floor, and I don't meant the thing with the same vanishing points, you can have as many vanishing points as you'd like for different objects) where they're a few degrees off from the horizontal planes, gives them a levitating and wrong aspect (this is repeated in other rooms too, like the one where she passes through her kitchen and her table is so low in height it just looks like a kiddy table).
Anatomy is lacking too, easy fix with a bit of grinding though so I wouldn't despair there. You might want to work through the paneling aspect too. In the middle areas of the comic it feels drab and monotone, not very dynamic or compositionally pleasing. The ending part with the plushie AI fixed this a bit, the colored Earth looked nice, just minor nitpicks with composition all in all.
Overall, nice work, OP.

>>7911296
Have you tested with a small amount of printed copies before? (Like 5/7) I think thats better than jumping straight into printing a huge amount

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>>7911326
Thank u for the detailed feedback, makes it easier to pinpoint the areas I need to devote the most time to. Perspective and anatomy has always been a struggle for me, and the table and the maintenance closet scene have been huge struggles. This is what it looked like before (she looks gigantic), and I'll definitely go over it again when I finish up my other comic's volume for print.

What were some of the middle parts that felt most drab or boring?

>>7911328
I haven't fully researched printing options yet, but ultimately how much I print depends on how much I can save with bulk printing (2 comics: 7 chapters of Hefferchu + this comic). I'm hoping the printing companies will work with me to give me an example of how it prints before I commit, but if not I'll definitely do a small batch first to test it.

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>>7911337
>What were some of the middle parts that felt most drab or boring?
Starting from pages 41 to 52 you've done just static faceshots of the main character in quite badly done paneling and composition, the effect is doubled through the eye of the viewer flowing from one panel to the other and it feels almost nauseating. That whole stretch would probably cause a big portion of casual readers to just drop your work on the spot, is what I thought first while I went through it.
I'd honestly either condense that stretch or create a bigger geometric divide in both paneling and composition (as in create a full body shot from time to time that occupies a bigger portion of the page and make a gesture or the body language of the character flow to the next panel more organically).
I'd also add superimpositions since you didn't seem to make any at all. In this page that I'm replying to, see how her head is cut by the panel on the left bottom row? superimposing just means ignoring the panel limits and make the object or character overflow or spill into the overarching composition of the page, you're probably most familiar with this from expert h or ecchi mangaka, like when a characters tits, hands or legs spill over and superimpose unto the next panel or even the whole page, adds a bit of a dynamic effect. You want to use this effect when you have an extremely dynamic scene, or, in this case, break from the monotony and help guide the viewer's eye to the next sequence of panels. See my small edit.
Mind you, I'm not a professional comic artist, I'm just a hobbyist like you too so take what I say with a grain of salt. Read some more framed ink if you want better composition recommendations since that book's great for that.

>>7911369
I just realized you redid page 6, I guess I edited the prototype lmao. Anyway, same thing for the page 6 you used in your comic, giver her a bit of some extra headroom (heh) to help the way each panel flows from one another.

>>7908456
>>7908457
>what are you doing in this pitch black room that I locked you in

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>>7911428
That is a clue for the midpoint revelation. Why is her cat in a pitch black room, not making a sound until she opens the door?

>>7911369
I like your edit, I'll throw some in the next time I feel things are getting stale. I did have one in the hallway/rain scene (her shoe was flying out of the panel).

I think the most egregious parts of what you described in p.41-52 might be these panels where she's watching the movie. I tried to frame it as if PAI is observing her, perhaps adding this camera overlay would improve the tension of the scenes? Part of the issue of this section could be because the tension drops off during this period where she's just having fun. Perhaps reminding the reader she's being watched by this strange person would keep the pages turning?

I will give framed ink a reread sometime, it definitely has been a huge help along with Araki's manga book.

nice

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>>7908448
>[that version of a black hole]

I am triggered.
>Real scientists babble for years how they figured out black holes with science and math and everything
>For years we get this picture of a black hole
>A (shit) movie comes out (that everyone forgot about)
>Turns out random people with CGI programs are better then all of science anda ll fo scientists
>Scientists say: Oh yes this is how black holes really look like.

If you believe in black holes and science you are retarded.

Scientists are literally retarded schizophrenics who canonically are outperformed by some random CGI studio!

>>7915709
Calm down Neil, people want to see pretty lights, not a spilled ink spot.

>>7908448
I imagined the penguin to have an Indian accent
SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR

>>7915709
midwit detected. the gravitational lensing is how black holes are detected visually, as in the effect they create in parallax viewed from a telescope. not how they literally look if you're next to it (the accretion disk version)

I'm having flashbacks.
I feel like you posted a one shot about this a long time about, about a girl dealing with a transedental crisis, and some penguin.
I didn't click the link or check it out yet, Im just going off the images posted.
Before I click it, did you extrapolate on that original short one shot? Am I crazy and totally thinking of someone completely different?
All I remember is the ending, and Ive been drinking

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>>7917037
I posted a previous version in mmg a year ago, you might remember it from this page. I've updated the art and some of the writing since then.

>>7917668
Did you draw every single flower in that top/bottom panel or is it like a brush? Good job on the page anyway, it looks pretty clean.

>>7908465
Looks nice. Reads good.

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>>7915709
I agree with >>7917029. the blackhole they show is a 2D blackhole. What they now show is just a better rendering and i think a certain stage of a blackhole where it “eats“ material.

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>>7915709
akshually this image was generated in 1978 using a primitive punch card computer and plotted onto paper by hand by some french man
no idea why it took that long for that image to be popularized but it's been known for a long time a black hole would cause heavy lensing around itself.