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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qByEvIimSa4

the first few posts of the thread never get replies because everyone's been saving their bangers so i usually wait a while before trying to initiate a discussion

>>220774136
reckon they could smell it?

Mental how badly the parasite has mind raped Toby

one time i had a wank at a mate's house and i just spunked on his floor

>>220774152
she should have done the bladee version stupid b*tch

>>220774136
once did this to the hangover 2 strip club scene

>>220774116
ktim

HeatherLORD

doing a "rorke rape" ..

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Wanked since I could with maybe ten days being my maximum break in 20+ years now

So never had a wet dream or any other kind of hands free orgasm

>>220774182
gay slut

>>220774182
mad how this is what having a sister is like

>>220774168
when i wanked in the toilets in school i would just spunk everywhere over the toilet and make no attempt to aim in the bowl or clean it up

>>220774211
um

Carlybender’s soft, supple, slightly hairy bumhole. An exquisite taste. Gallons of my semen will be shot up into it.

watching a tranny argue with a biological woman on xitter citing studies to show that women get aroused by themselves too and shes calling him a sex pest and hes not getting it and keeps trying to tell her him and the study are right and shes just an outlier basically proving her point of him being a freak

it pie night

>>220774202
powerful combination

Wanked a shit ton outdoors. I literally wanked in a bush once, and I don't mean beside a bush. I mean I was inside the bush wanking. First ever outdoor wank was at tourist boat station in switzerland at night. Just came on the pavement.

I would prefer to not remember all the strange places i've wanked

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as we saw earlier the /brit/ meetup at the monty pyke has been a resounding success

>>220774286
We’ve all done it mate. This is a safe space xx

mad how fucking awful jacob collier's music is
https://youtu.be/4lSqCdA2yAI

>>220774242
how do you pronounce xitter?

>>220774309
zeeter

>>220774242
:/

sloppy cocks

poo

>>220774304
never heard of him
just sounds like the offspring but shitter

>>220774242
oh really? I saw some beautiful trees and birds at the park earlier

Wanked in a train toilet
On a river bank hidden from the path above

>>220774339
Peng when they’ve got spit and drool all over them because they’ve face fucked you so hard >.<

>>220774371
UM x

told mummy its just spit and drool on my ipad

wanked in class before and spunked in my pants

sometimes wank in the gym showers to this day

getting a bit gay in here now

>>220774360
ive been banned from going outside because i keep biting people unprovoked

>>220774394
Would love to spit and drool all over your lovely arsehole.

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>ive been banned from going outside because i keep biting people unprovoked

Remember Preston who walked off the Buzzcocks and married that random blonde bint off Big Brother.

Well apparently he is actually proper posh, judging by his accent and I can't actually believe it. How many people in music in the 2000s were putting on a fake working class accent??


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dEREbxuAi0

why would you even wank at school

hard twitching cocks, drooling frothy vaginas, puffy taut nipples, puckered tight anus

>>220774441
Mines the reverse

One morning I arrived early to the job site and saw Vito and the security guard in a car engaged in a sex act. [Making blowjob gesture].

>>220774441
kahteem, KAHTEEEEM

>>220774414
are you anywhere near stoke please

>>220774435
i did in class and my teacher called out to see if i was alright in the lesson and then the second time she took me out to ask if i was okay and i faked being a bit jittery because of a slight injury on my knees
didnt know what i was doing was inappropriate just knew it felt good

>>220774461
catchin not pitchin? OOHHHHH

mad how fat I'm getting due to being utterly immobile and also eating a lot of shite :\

>>220774199
I once had a two week break because of a family holiday and it drove me nigh insane

>>220774480
Calderdale

>>220774435
seeing fit teacher arses or legs in tights and being hormonal

>Rick you utter bottom burp you're posting in the old!
>oh shut up Vyvyan you virgin
*canned studio laughter*

>>220774480
ur not from stoke you niger

I don't believe it lads, old granny at the post office just went and bloody cockmogged me!

never wanked at school but heard of a girl in our year who fudded herself in class

You called at 4 am

>>220774519
and you know this as a fact do you?

I actually once wrote the beginning of an erotic bi film once.

https://jumpshare.com/s/3DU3skq0fC1OUrNDJkIA

I only wrote the gay part in the beginning but then I got bored and realised I should never ever continue it. But since some of you lads are obviously gay and horny you might enjoy it

>>220774461
VITO SPATAFORE IS AN ASSMUNCHER!!
...

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checking in on /mu/

>>220774552
just clicked this and got arseraped by the spirits of the cast of buff boys 12

sharing wank stories again are we?
when I was 15 my ftm bf used to give me three to five handjobs every night
I literally wouldn't be able to fall asleep a single night with him as he would be constantly all over my cock
never got to touch his chebs or anything on the undercarriage though. upsides and downsides.

bit bent that

>>220774577
>ftm
just threw up

>>220774550
suppose not
you aren't though are you?

feel shame and disgust

don't have any interesting wank stories to tell
just a normal wanker me

they didn't have trannies when i was 15
everyone was normal
facebook didn't exist yet to validate these mentalist's feelings

>>220774617
is that the dad from that show with the obese trans woman

*pulls the thread handbrake*

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>>220774610
do you have an ipad

Rik Mayall's best work was Jellikins ok
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ey0O97FKP_s&t=2132s

Bought a dildo (9 inches) and used to bounce on it while I was wanking. Got the entire thing inside once. Was weird because I’d taken big cock before but it never hurt as much as the dildo!

>>220774628
only trannies back in my day were transvestites, who were rightly ridiculed

mummy's bringing home fish and chips (:

(bites your left face cheek and tears it off leaving a gaping red wet hole where it used to be)

stop it or else

the 4'8" industry plant who dresses up like a little baby while talking about wanting black cock inside of her is so le bvsed omg see /mu/ said so!!!!

I've literally never had a gf and barely shag but a lot of my shags have been quite interesting, so i've got quite few good shagging stories and a number of bizarre wanking stories (only for the lads on /brit/ of couse though ;) despite my lack of experience which is helpful for me to blend in the real world

>>220774114
Now THIS was comedy

genuinely having a suck on a golf ball

>>220774696
loooool well that's >>220774560 shagged FIRMLY up the arse hole.

>>220774667
corr it lush

>>220774667
get her shagged x

eveyrtime i try to make friends i always get threatened with violence

you're in my world now

>>220774604
he was peng mate
heard he's detransitioned now

>>220774717
already did then wiped my cock clean on her incel dolescum son's chips ahaha

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The goal gf

>>220774696
can't even come with a response to this post that communicates how mentally ill you are

do you think you could drink an entire bottle of wine in ONE (1) night?
could it be possible to do?
should i? dare i? try?

shoving fistfuls of dog shit up my arse

>>220774766
I mean she did do all of that so no need for you to try and refute it. Just seethe quietly.

can I view naughty reddit without verifying my age

>>220774696
vgp

>>220774758
nigga you should get yourself into a time machine and travel 1000 years into the past because I'm pretty sure that's a Byzantine queen nigga

>>220774758
looks like my lesbian neighbour
can sometimes hear her on a night with one of those vibrating toy things

>>220774777
when I was 19 I drank an entire bottle of rose wine in one night on holiday then vomited in the sink and went to bed fully naked without closing the window and when I woke up was absolutely covered in mosquito bites

>>220774805
corspaf

>>220774806
>I drank an entire bottle of rose wine
oh right
can you get your boyfriend here to verify this fact

sent a cring joke in my friends' whatsapp group

it's over they will remove me

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please stream the official trailer for "focker in-law" starring ariana grande

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCZyg2H45co

>>220774777
mate that is childs play

>>220774783
i posted that because there were 4 threads with the same image and you responded with a bizarre post about black penis

arianacord raid

>>220774837
it was originally purchased by the sisterberg but she didn't want it so I had a glass then didn't stop

>>220774806
my brother came home from a night out then vomited in the kitchen sink and it blocked, then went upstairs to bed without fixing it. then at some point in the night he must have gone and vomited in the bathroom sink because both sinks were clogged with his vomit when we woke up

>>220774777
isnt wine only like 5% alcohol

and that looks better does it? get a grip.

>>220774805
Toothbrush??

>>220774840
are the horrendous hand and arm tattoos covered up for this one x

>>220774867
>i posted that because there were 4 threads with the same image
who gives a fuck
is this your first ever day on 4chan

A whole FOUR THREADS with the same image!!!!

>>220774777
my usual sesh is a bottle of wine and four pints of Stella, and that's still baby level when it comes to grim alkie twatness

>>220774888
usually 12-16%

>>220774905
no do go on and talk more about black cock like a true 4channer x

>>220774895
I don't think she's using it on her teeth!

5 pints of stella gives me a three day hangover

don't say yes if you can't say no!

>>220774918
the mandem remember mpp and itaots

>>220774920
it will be a funny night then

heard you like magic, i got a wand and a rabbit x

>>220774956
don't get this line

>>220774935
no it doesn't
>>220774947
no they don't
>>220774956
no you don't
>>220774960
yes you do

>>220774960
those are both types of vibrator:)

Mind robbing my eso guild blind taking everything out the bank and selling it for gold
The guild leader told me no guild would ever touch me again which was a completely empty threat that nothing came off

>>220774973
fact

sexy neighbour doing sexy things next door, where she lives

succumb to my cravings and order a pizza, but then i can only ever eat one slice and i'm done. no one else will eat any because i get garlic sauce instead of tomato and they think that's gross, so i put the leftovers in the freezer and forget about them until weeks later when i'm cleaning out the fridge. then i throw it all in the garbage. really stupid but then i'll do it again

why would you shove dog shit up your arse
bizarre thing to do.

>>220774985
ever shove any of them up your bum?

watching the darts and some of these dartists have rather rotund bellies.

>>220775009
prefer not to say

>>220774990
used to sell ww bites at the shrines and then run away
good times
think the game's long dead now not sure

I'm wigging out man

lost some izzat at work today

used to run fake buyer scams outside fally bank

>>220774777
done this multiple times

accidentally stuck my entire arm up my own arsehole

>>220775028
Ktim
I think people still play it

don't know what that means

mousey insists upon himself

we’re just watching rocks in 4k while they say its historic

i'm lowkey indian

Posting mindlessly on the /brit/, waiting for something to happen

What’s it mean when you can’t even be bothered to play video games any more

just went up the stairs

>>220775074
went woke when they made it so all the factions could start anywhere
us daggerfall niggas straight slid on opps

>>220775106
time for a prostate wank

um hello

the 9/10 supervisor was talking about being spat on earlier and I had to leave the room in case I started blushing

>Russia issues bomb threat to four UK locations including London, Suffolk and Leicester
rorke is suspiciously quiet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duIqDcaIkFA

der choon x

dirty chai latte with a shot of enby saliva

wasted 95% of my monthly internet package by downloading euphoria and watching porn
now ill have to make 500 MB last for another 20 days

>>220775074
i still have a bash on the deck for an hour
just done the ebonhart pact line and now onto daggerfall's bits
alright for a bit of a timewaste

pickaninny circus more like

tea: eaten
bed: in
youtube kino: watching

>>220775222
stop watching porn

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3.9 MB MP4

>>220775222
here's 4mb used up x

pierbiwank on the cards later

quite fond of menthol ice zyn's

>>220775270
what kino

>>220775323
watching the latest tom 7

>>220775285
shant be opening that lad hahaha

#burned

>>220775285
I don't believe it, he bloody shot that image onto that building, such casual god behaviour

willy’s making that beeping sound again

>>220775357
needs charging x

>>220774114
Father Ted moggs that

>>220775332
grow up

scranning loads of mock seafood sticks
might get the tartare sauce out to do a cheeky dip dip

kill rorke

watching some royle family
name a comfier programme than royle family

rorke sex arse

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The absolute fucking STATE of /pol/tards in 2026.

>>220775420
comfy programme my arse

now guys, we have about an hour left on the stream. please support if you want to see me continue playing this game. this is the 3rd straight slow stream of this game. i can't keep playing it if i'm only going to make $20 a stream.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkMOpb3HVxM
this is like heatherpops and ziedybubs <33

>>220775434
CRAVENDALE LAD

fucks sake mums getting the builder round again tomorrow
got a hole that needs filling

should i get drunk and do chores toil or do chores then get drunk

need to kill myself, can't be arsed

clippy clop

>>220775177
don't live in any of those places

>>220775444
cheeky so and so

>>220775467
gay ass horse

>>220775177
and what's the 4th location?

>>220775476
drinking wee milk

>>220775478
miss when i was on the ganja and would get up on a saturday and get on the ganja and clean up the house
then do some more ganja
don't do the ganja anymore

>>220775467
things rorke would fuck to tell his mates he lost his v card

>>220775522
don't think they're allowed to discuss cheadle on the beebs, undisclosed

>>220775537
screm

seasideMARK has his 52nd birthday tomorrow

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big chunky wholesome dixie white american wife sex arse

can see why these people love big families i would breed these type of girls 17 times

>>220775621
and you'll still have a cock tomorrow

>>220775621
why do you care?

it didn't piss acid rain on me

For awhile I've had this strange feeling at the increase in punditry of football on YouTube at the strangeness of it. I can't describe, its like this feeling of standing on one plain of perception looking out at space on another plain of perception at the people there who don't realise where they are or what they are doing, and I can't do anything to tell them because they are too far away, I can only retreat into my own plain.
The source of it is that I find it odd that football pundits will talk at length over something that is very unpredictable. On YouTube will sit for an hour talking about an upcoming match or how the table will end and then at the end of each video and often at the end of many statements will shrug and say something like ''well we don't really know do we,'' but they do it every week and things in football often never go how people expect and the next week they do the same thing talking about how they couldnt have predicted what happened and then go on to try and predict what will happen.

For football I could be amused by it but the strange feeling that arises from how odd it is persists. But now I get it from the news and I see the news spoken on YouTube much in the same way. Its constant, they all talk about the same subject, admittiedly some people have more insight than others into a subject but they all do the same thing, they react to things they couldnt predict and then try to convince the audience of what will happen next.

I don't know what this feeling is but I think it stems from a powerlessness, a deap existential realisation that we are all totally powerless and it doesn't matter how much we know about a subject, how prepared we are or how intelligent or tech advanced we cannot predict the future, and we struggle to even make sense of the past so what the fuck is everyone doing???

>>220775522
Hull

>>220775621
president of his fan club are you?

why aren't there any female mass shooters

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the lads

>>220775654
me when i'm trying to rizz up a girl

We at /brit/ support the pro-asbestos movement
It's cheap and plentiful. If people want to sniff it its their fault

asked grandad what he remembers about the old days in cheadle
he just started sobbing :(

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was this the most based moment in history?

>>220775667
SHE
FIE
LD

off to the lidl for cereal and washing up liquid

x

*you have now subscribed to: my blog*

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mental
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/jul/10/truly-profound-shard-climber-describes-reaching-top-of-uks-tallest-tower

not saying I'm gay as in gay but I'm gay

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pewdiepie, on the bridge

>>220775639
So will your mum

>>220775642
He is my hero

>>220775674
Yes

lesbians except they're anime lesbians not real life butch lesbians

21aNQ2Kq29J into the filter

>>220775770
>lidl
lmao you're poor

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3.2 MB GIF

chase infinit

>>220775788
looks like a batarian

>>220775825
Where do you shop?

>>220775834
sheesh

>>220775679
Ah so THIS is the based department

>>220775825
it's funny seeing poor people larp as rich
everyone just goes to the closest supermarket it doesn't matter if it's an asda or a lidl
only lower middle class pretending to be upper class people driver further for basic shopping
you've just proven yourself to be poor lmao

>>220775679
fucks sake
overlooked again by those showerdodgers

Shagging my pillow

>>220775865
if your closest supermarket is an aldi or lidl you are poor

>>220775679
could never imagine fuentes, thunberg and candace on the same list lmao

>>220775865
if you have a big family it can save £30-£50 a week

>>220775886
once again proving you are poor

>>220775904
a rich person wouldn't care about saving £50 a week it's peanuts lmao

>>220775679
the 'trolled 'position

just finished to a femqueenmolly webm on /gif/

>>220775679
you'd have thought they'd be more concerned about Spurs getting relegated

Eating a star

mad how nice brie is

>>220775876
ktim

Driving to LIDL is cheaper only if your time is worthless. Based alphas like myself just go to the closest supermarket.

>>220775921
>a rich person wouldn't care about saving £50 a week it's peanuts lmao
This is /brit/ mate. Pretending to be rich on the internet is extremely indian thing to do

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>>220775954

>>220775967
>Based alphas
You're broke

I shop at lidl and frequently see 100k+ cars in the car park yeah they are all poor.

>>220775876
created a crevice in a childhood teddy after i got shown how to wank and fucked it for a while in my early wanking career until i realised how disgusting it was

hate when a horror film is a metaphor for some bullshit instead of just supernatural nonsense

>>220775999
>I shop at lidl
lmao you are poor in osrs and in real life

>>220775954
prefer camembert

scranning on a co-op cheese tomato pasta concoction

You think rich people are wasting their time walking around a supermarket? LMAO rich people shop online or have an assistant you gimp.

science teacher at school taught us how to wank which wasn't really on when you think about it

>>220775921
£2600 a year
lots of people have high expenses even if their income is decent
can tell you're a very solitary person though so i don't blame you for being wrong

think i; went too heavy on the steamingtoil for the escort who will be here in half an hour
watching porn now to get the cock hard cus i'm afraid i'll have the whiskey dick later

rorke now thinks that rich people don't go shopping for some reason

>>220776051
bit rude, sir feelings hurter

the missus in the barratt new build garden


https://i.4cdn.org/s/1774940642363312.jpg" target="_blank">https://i.4cdn.org/s/1774940642363312.jpg

the roke mind virus

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We getting our wads out?

>>220776111
i look and stand like this

saw bill gates pushing a trolley around at waitrose

according to rorke that's what rich people do

The fittest birds were all born in 2007

nigga shops at al kharid general store

>>220776111
cat deeley on a madone

>>220776100
sorry

can't wait to get steaming tomorrow. only good part of the week

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german women sex arse

if you see da'police... warn a brother

if bill gate helicoptered to the nearest lidl he would have lost money in the time it took, thats how expensive helicopter fuel is

Poor white people don't shop at lidl or aldi because they have an inherent fear of anything foren.

T. poor and never set foot in a lidl til I was 24

>>220776121
its a good thread, get them before they 404

>>>/s/22360561

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still my fave post ever

Rich people value their time over money. They are also the least consumerist people you can imagine. They don't buy gadgets and toys. This is something the poor mind cannot comprehend - they think rich people have expensive cars and phones but most of them don't care about that shit.

big tits anime girls

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>>220776199
i like this post

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>>220776196
saved and shall be spaffing to this later

>>220776229
>They are also the least consumerist people you can imagine. They don't buy gadgets and toys.
scream

watching a 100 minute YT video about nascar

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>>220776199
this still makes me howl

>>220776196
I can smell the booze breath, fake tan, cheap perfume and cold slightly piss-moist fanny from memory in these pictures

>>220776229
well ive been in rich peoples houses and theyve got loads of shit

well im a bit annoyed i didnt get any attention for my massive wad

Somewhere is a thread of rich 50 somethings arguing over where poor people do their shopping

*lets out a prolonged, anguished autistic screech into the night air*

>>220775526
same but with wank toil
shit was cash frfr

File: frog.webm (2.7 MB)

2.7 MB WEBM

>>220776271
scr

does anyone have that post about the grandad being a rwandan genocide denier, luv that one x

>>220776196
That first one below the OP has been posted in every Brit slags thread going back to when I used to post in /b/ over a decade and I don't even think she is fit

>>220776318
liked this. very well written. insane that some of you are this talented but unemployed.

11% of the way to being a millionaire and i shop at farmfoods

Dillon you son of a bitch

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>>220776348
hi I dont but i really like this cat he's so fat lol

in the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey

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always funny seeing comments on youtube videos about british women on a night out
>do they not have gyms in the uk???
>why is everyone so fat??
you know these are poor fucks from india or some shit calling curvy big arsed british lasses "fat"
they wish they could have this white pussy

just for a smile eh lads

>>220776372
corpulent twerp

>>220776432
the average british woman on a night out is at best 15% too fat desu

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started getting random allergies to everything, coming out in rashes, throat swelling up. think I might actually die it was nice knowing some of you

unc really said corpulent

A small loan of a million dollars

lads... the posts? where the fuck is everyone

hate hitting refresh and not seeing new posts

get the posts submitted

>>220776432
You've never been to southern Europe have you lad?

You would be radicalised: Spain, Italy, greece, even France there are no fat women, as there were no fat women here until like the 90s

another day without any hinge likes
the well has seriously dried up

>>220776514
sorry I'm having my din dins

>>220776514
saving my amazingly dogshit zinger for the new

>>220776432
they might look alright now but thats how they get you
before you realise it youre stuck in a shithole council flat raising their vile sprogs and by the time shes 40 shes a withered old hag with early signs of emphysema. many such cases

>>220776527
i like a woman you can hold onto something

not into skinny yuro bints you see

>>220776563
speaking from experience is it?

>>220776583
>>220776583
>>220776583

Women in their early 20s who eat fast food and drink copious amounts of alcohol on nights out look a little pudgy in some areas but overall slim because of their youth and this is peak shaggable physique - no gym, no diet