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I remember in 2021 when I was a chad-lite brown male chud, I was in a college class and feeling angsty about how normie, jabbed and gay the class was. (yes, I didn't take the jab. yes, I was that Fuentes-pilled).
I told the class, "My pronouns are you can call me whatever the hell you want." as a sarcastic jib to own the libs.
>I had long hair down to my neck
>I had a deeply nasally voice

They didn't take it as sarcasm, a theyfab genderless tumblrite who loved the Umbrella Academy developed a crush on me in the class (constantly stared at me and autistically complimented my hair). retrospectively I think everyone there geniunely just thought of me as a repper. I failed at being a chud and making all the womxn uncomfortable. fuck.

Fast forward to now in 2026, I've been de-chuddified, feminized and am now an ugly ass brown tranny who is a stay-at-home paralegal living with my boyfriend in his apartment. I cook for him, we sleep in the same bed and I wait for him to come back from his IT job. I one time told him over dinner about my chud phase and how I did that to repress yada yada
>"now I am le enlightened ..."

as I await a headpat for now being a good politically clean girl (sarcastic), he starts laughing uncontrollably.

why are ALL of our repressor memories so deeply humiliating? I feel like I'm constantly being put into the pillory when I explain how much of a failed male I was and how transition was inevitable for a dumb bitch like me.