File: So This is You.jpg (74.2 KB)
You are a cursed sword.
Your fondest dream is to one day lend your corruptive power to a noble and beautiful lady knight and then savor her slow descent into depravity, madness, and villainy.
Unfortunately, you are currently stuck in your pedestal, incapable of movement. It is a comfortable pedestal, and the Dungeon Core has told you that you're in a secret treasure vault, a room that adventurers covet and seek out for reasons no monster truly understands. Someone will eventually find you, and when they do they will certainly pick you up, for you've been presented as a Venerable Holy Sword to all adventurers.
Still, eventually is eventually, and you might get picked up by a man instead of the beautiful lady knight of your dreams. You need to...
>Convince one of the nearby monsters to come pick you up.
>Focus your energies and attempt to float away.
>Make enough noise that the secret treasure vault is not so secret anymore.
>Be patient. Good things come to those who wait.
Showing all 97 replies.
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>>6420514
>Something else
"The garrison commander is not here at this time. They are patrolling the nearby settlements and won't be back for some time. Please come back later. I can give them a message once they return."
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>>6420549
>>6420564
The holy knights seem to accept this excuse and leave the watch tower, saying they will attend to other business before returning.
—---
The Dark Lady is in high spirits after having pillaged several villages, you on the other hand were feeling kinda meh. Sure the Lady had more minions but there was hardly anyone interesting to corrupt in the vale; a few garden variety thots to convert into succubi and a half way competent guard captain the Lady had deigned to keep around after she made him eat her out.
Meanwhile the Dark Lady had received a messenger raven from the Administratrix that the Brotherhood knights were sniffing around.
[Seems like a good time to take Yarenburg while they’re not around.]
“I would rather we run them down first. Holy Knights are no joke and I don’t want any complications arising when we take Yarenburg.”
[Eh, do what you want IDGAF]
>Invade Yarenburg now.
>Track down the knights.
>Split your forces and do both.
>Something else?
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The Lady decides to take out the knights first. In her you sense both apprehension and… anticipation?
[Hey just so you know holy knights are probably immune to enslavement and I don’t corrupt dudes. Even if you were to turn them into chicks first, just… no.]
“The Brotherhood of Retention are possessed of a particular kind of power, if I can subvert it it would be a great boon to us both. Fear not, you will not need to corrupt them. Just lay them low and let me do the rest.”
[Sure thing, but after this can we please go after a canoness or something? We haven’t corrupted anyone decent since that female knight at the convent.]
“All in good time Laevateinn.”
—-----
The Dark Lady’s host regroups with the slave garrison at the watch tower and begins tracking down the knights. You split your much larger force into smaller groups and send each to a place the knights are likely to visit. Once located the plan is to harass the knights until the rest of the Dark Lady’s host can fall upon them.
It doesn’t take long for one of your scouting parties to locate the knights on the outskirts of the cloister you defiled. By now they would have certainly discovered that the local garrison is compromised. That knowledge will no longer save them.
The Dark Lady’s forces converge, but just as they are about to close the trap a burst of light erupts in the distance followed by a resonating chant that makes your wielder's blood run cold.
“WOLOLOOOOOO!”
>-5 Slave Soldiers, -10 Minions
“They have a priest!?” The Lady grabs the Administratrix, nails digging into her shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell me they had a priest with them!?”
“I-I’m sorry mistress I was too busy ogling the knights-ARRRGH!” The infernal secretary squealed as the Dark Lady pinched her cheeks, painfully stretching them to inhuman lengths.
“I expect the succubi to think with their pussies, but you’re supposed to be the smart one!”
“I’mb zorry mistresssss!”
“Idiot! If we don’t do something he’ll turn our entire army against us!”
>Yeah… just cut your losses and retreat. Any mook you throw at them will just be converted.
>Attack the priest personally together with the Fallen Knight; She can’t be converted.
>[Just take him at long range bro-I mean sis]
>Something else
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[Just take him out at long range sis]
“With what!? I don’t have any English longbows!”
[Dafuq is an English? Just use magic FFS!]
The Dark Lady and her entourage approach the knights who have taken up a defensive position on the edge of the town. The knights themselves encircled the priest who continued his OP chanting, turning more of your minions to the cause of light with every passing moment. Lazy fucker didn’t even change their outfits, their skintight body suits just go palette swapped.
Your wielder stretched out her arm and fired a dark lance at the priest which promptly bounced off his holy shield, deflected off a knight’s sword, burned straight through a nearby tree and beaned your Infernal Administratrix in the forehead, knocking her out cold.
[Great, fucker is magic proof, maybe we should run- ohhhh no! Don’t even think about it! I need to stay firmly in your hands!]
But she WAS thinking about it and before you could even contest control of her motor systems the Dark Lady flings you at the priest. You sail end over end in a lazy arc, your legendary infernal power having no trouble piercing the priest’s shield before your blade goes straight through his chest.
The man falls over and you end up stuck upright pinning his corpse to the ground. Around you the battle continues to range, converted minions clash with loyal ones. The knights prove a decisive factor, pushing your mistress’ forces back whenever they threaten to break through.
>cont
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>>6421442
You let out a metaphorical sigh; this one of the worst parts of being a sword; you couldn’t do shit without a wielder. For all you could do is sit tight stuck in this dead priest and wait until someone picks you up.
The Dark Lady and Fallen Knight enter the fray with the Succubus Matron in tow. Two knights move to intercept but a sly look and a sultry pose from the Matron cause them to fall to the ground, spasming and clutching at their cod pieces.
“Hggnnh!! Brothers! Can’t resist… those fat tits!”
The knights muscular physiques visibly deflate as they cream their pants, years of “retained power” leaving them in an instance.
One by one the knights fall to the Matron’s wiles until only Brother-Captain Chadly remains. To everyone’s surprise he promptly stabs the Matron in the heart as soon as she tries to flaunt her bosom.
“But how!?” cried the Dark Lady. “All those years of never busting a nut. You should be ready to pop!”
“I’m gay,” said Chadly. “And I have retained my power even after years of cohabiting with a bunch of buff, sweaty, men. Your feminine wiles have no power over me!”
“Hmph, we’ll do this the hard way then. And when I’ve defeated you I shall ride you straight until all that pent up power becomes mine!”
The Dark Lady and Fallen Knight leap into battle. Chadly holds his own admirably, but eventually he’s disarmed. Staggering backward he desperately looks around for a new weapon.
All the while you were just stuck there getting bored.
>See if you can whisper into the mind of one of the nearby minions and tempt them into picking you up.
>Just let the Dark Lady cook.
>Chadly’s getting kinda close. Oh, he sees you aaand now he’d reaching out and oh no, OH FUCK NO!
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The moment Chadly grasps your hilt you send a bolt of torment into him. The man screams but he does not relinquish his grip. He pulls you from the priest’s corpse and brandishes you at your former mistress.
[Nope, Noooope, we are not doing this. I don’t care if you promise me your soul. I want to corrupt nubile women, not gross boys.]
The mental rebuke that comes back is as unyielding as polished granite.
<There will be no corruption, no surrendering of souls, only service fiend. You will turn your infernal power upon your comrades or face my sanction.>
[Your sanction? I’m an ageless artefact of untold evil, you’re a sexually frustrated homosexual, how exactly are you going to “sanction” me?]
Then it happened: a flood of memories penetrated your mind like a long, hard, rod of mental force. A cavalcade of perfectly sculpted masculine butts, fantasies of pounding boi pussy, the immense pressure of over a decade of blue balls and a ravenous thirst for cock but-not-like-that.
[Oh Gods! STOP! Please no more! I’ll lend you my power! Just pleeeease NO HOMO!]
Unholy fire flared across your blade as Chadly leapt back into battle. You weren’t watching any more. You just fed an aura of destruction along your edge, while the rest of your mind curled into a ball and started metaphorically rocking back and forth.
At some point you felt a sigh of relief and vindication as the Dark Lady’s soul stone was shattered and the Fallen Knight’s soul ascended into the light. Eventually Chadly’s masculine grunting subsided and you very gingerly tapped into his mind, trying to see what he saw.
Everyone was dead. Your mistress; reduced to a carbonised skeleton. All her minions, converted or not, had likely been too far gone to ever be returned to normal and so had been granted “Divine Mercy”.
Chadly allowed you to witness this, but kept the rest of his mind closed. You couldn’t have gone any deeper even if you wanted to; his thoughts were as a smooth granite wall.
[Look man I know when I’m beaten… just seal me away, let me rot. Heck, unmake me if you can find a way, just please don’t do the whole “use the power of Darkness against itself schtick”, evil edgelords are figuratively gay enough, but a good aligned edgelord who is literally gay is just too much!]
“Certainly Fell Blade. The Light is merciful and you will be granted the oblivion you crave.”
[Thank the gods…]
“After you have atoned for your sins. As a Brother-Captain of my order I have the authority to assign penance to sinners. Yours will be a lifetime of service; my lifetime. Then and only then will I let you die.”
[Oh Gods No! NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!]
>cont
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>>6421703
Chadly would eventually rise to the position of regional Prefect in the Brotherhood. He gained a reputation as an iconoclast for his use of the fell blade Laevateinn. Many times members of the church accused him of being corrupted by the weapon. But no matter how severe the allegations or how damning the optics, none could find him wanting.
And you really did try. If only so you could make your way to a more suitable wielder. But every time you tried to undermine Chadly he would mind rape you into submission with his degenerate faggotry. All the torment visited upon the land by the Demon Kings and Dark Lords paled in comparison to the mental hellscape this guy subjected you to.
So it was for a few centuries (retention powers and divine blessings extended his life span) before the guy finally succumbed to the inevitable. Unable to find a way to unmake you, the Brotherhood sealed you within their most secure reliquary and left you to be forgotten. But you couldn’t enjoy even this peace as you were so mentally ass blasted that it would take millennia for your figurative anus to recover.
BAD ENDING
((Kay I’m done. It was fun messing with this abandoned quest but I’m bored now. Didn’t even insert my own fetish and just resorted to gay jokes.))
>GG QM, time to take this abortion of a quest out back and put it out of it's misery.
>Ey Yo! Hole up! You said you weren’t gonna drop this until you had inserted your own fetish and jerked off to it. YOU BETTER DELIVER!
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>>6421888
((Well, well it seems at least one person is still having fun. Okay anon, I’ll keep the trainwreck moving a leeetle longer, just for you.))
Blood… the warmth of mortal life coated your blade. Its fleeting lifeforce flowed into your withered consciousness and you became aware. Aware of the fact that you were currently hilt deep in someone’s body. Aware of the desperate soul clutching your pommel as their scrawny arms struggled to pull you free. Huh, it was a woman… that meant something to you at one point.
Her emotions began to trickle into you just like the blood. Shock, fear, sanctimonious morals clashing with survival instinct. Oh yes, that excited you… for some reason.
“Light deliver me…” she groaned.
Oh, she appeared to be mortally wounded. Your own survival instincts kicked in and you apportioned some of your limited power to close her wound. The woman gasped as you healed her.
“The legends are true, the sword of Saint Chadly-Ah!”
The name Chadly sent such a massive wave of revulsion through you that you involuntarily zapped your new wielder with a bolt of torment.
“Ah… forgive me it appears I am not worthy.”
Crap, you really didn’t want to be dropped and forgotten again right after your ego just reformed.
[The power of the Light can sometimes burn, such is its nature. Be not afraid, take me up…]
>[and purge this place!]
>[and flee this place, you have a greater destiny elsewhere]
>[and seek the path]
>Something else, but whatever we say we need to sound all holy.
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[The power of the Light can sometimes burn, such is its nature. Be not afraid, take me up…and purge this place!]
“P-purge!? Surely you don’t mean?”
Killing everyone in sight? No shit Lady.
[You ran me through the body of a sinner did you not? If there are others profaning this place then they must be dealt with. Take me up righteous one, endure the power of the light, and fulfill your sacred duty.]
You could feel her fear, but deep down also something else… satisfaction? Glee? Oh yes you could work with those.
Your new wielder was a terrible combatant though. Her noodly arms could barely hold you in a guard stance and her knowledge of sword play began and ended with: stick the pointy bit in the bad guy. The power you absorbed from that dead dude had mostly been spent rebuilding your ego and healing her. You didn’t have much left to empower her in combat. But if you could make a kill, you could gain more power, which you could use to make more kills.
[zzz…sss… use me]
That aura, there was another cursed weapon nearby. Your wielder could feel it tugging on her consciousness. Looking down at the dead man her eyes were drawn to some kind of short hand held device clutched in his hands.
“The sacred firearm… how could a fallen priest be worthy of such a thing? I better hold onto it for safe keeping.”
Before you could stop her she had pried this “sacred firearm” from its former owner's hands. Immediately you feel things get a little more crowded.
[Bwahaha! Finally I get to corrupt a chick, Ey! New host; who dis?]
>cont
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>>6423260
[The name’s G’tanen, but you can call me Gat. So you’re the sword that old geezer was after?]
[He was after me? The real me? Not the holy sword my wielder seems to think I am?]
[Oh yeah. Dude was one of them shit lord priests: sins all week, then got straight with God on Sunday. Eventually he realized that things were more fun on the Dark side or as I like to say: the Dank side.]
“Um, Holy Sword, are you still there? I could sure use some guidance.”
Your wielder was crouched behind some stone masonry. In front of her a bunch of holy knight looking types milled around looking antsy. Well they looked nothing like the holy knights you remembered. The only armour they wore were pauldrons and bracers over dapper looking long coats. Most of them carried rapiers with one also carrying one of those hand tube weapons on their hip.
[Guns, brah. We’re called guns.]
[Right and what do you do?]
[Lemme show you…]
>Gun down the Knights.
>Rush forward and stab the closest one.
>Sneak around using chest high walls for cover and take em out one by one.
>Something else?
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>>6423263
((dammit forgot one line of dialogue. Oh well might as well edit things))
[Laevateinn, Cursed sword, Cleaver of the Rising Sun, Bringer of Eternal Twilight… dafuq are you?]
[The name’s G’tanen, but you can call me Gat. So you’re the sword that old geezer was after?]
[He was after me? The real me? Not the holy sword my wielder seems to think I am?]
[Oh yeah. Dude was one of them shit lord priests: sins all week, then got straight with God on Sunday. Eventually he realised that things were more fun on the Dark side or as I like to say: the Dank side.]
“Um, Holy Sword, are you still there? I could sure use some guidance.”
Your wielder was crouched behind some stone masonry. In front of her a bunch of holy knight looking types milled around looking antsy. Well they looked nothing like the holy knights you remembered. The only armour they wore were pauldrons and bracers over dapper looking long coats. Only the insignia of the church on their coats and their stuffy demeanour gave them away. Most of them carried rapiers with a very small handful also carrying one of those hand tube weapons on their hip.
[Guns, brah. We’re called guns.]
[Right and what do you do?]
[Lemme show you…]
>Gun down the Knights.
>Rush forward and stab the closest one.
>Sneak around using chest high walls for cover and take em out one by one.
>Something else?
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>>6423371
>>6423443
>>6425136
[My Lady, allow me the privilege of smiting these apostates.]
“Ah! The sacred firearm talks too!?”
The attention of the knights is immediately upon your wielder.
“Sister Karen? You’re still alive? I thought the Master would have completed the ritual already.”
Karen froze as she realized the mistake she had made.
[Ah sheeet.]
With Gat “guiding her hand” Karen quickly raised the pistol and put a bullet between the knight’s eyes. The rest of them immediately responded, charging with their rapiers. The ones carrying guns opened fire causing Karen to squeal in pain as their bullets grazed her. Only Gat’s influence made her side step in time.
[Move fast baby, don't be slow!]
What followed was a rather bizarre “fight” in which Karen just pointed G’tanen in the general direction of the enemy and pulled the trigger. Eventually the gun clicked empty, the slide locking open.
Karen gingerly opened her eyes.
“Oh! Oh no! I used up all the sacred bullets! Yeek! There’s blood everywhere!”
Complete disregard for the lives she just took… yes you could definitely work with this.
[Well that was easy, these gun things completely change the face to combat. I’m surprised everyone doesn’t use them all the time.]
[Yeah…about that. There’s a bunch of reasons and most of them boil down to them being rare artifacts and bullets being super hard to make. It sucks because it makes everyone all skittish about using me. That was the first time I really got to let loose in like… forever.]
[But doesn’t that mean you’re kinda useless now?]
[Bitch please, maybe if I was a normal firearm, but I am G’tanen. Check this out. Hnnnnngh!]
The knight corpses evaporated into a red mist which coalesced in Gat’s chamber, forming a baleful red bullet before the slide closed on its own again.
[Hey! Hey! I needed those, you ate up all that soul energy and all you could make was one shot?]
[Rude! First off, one shot is all I need-]
[You used up ALL your shots to take out these knights!]
[Skill issue on Karen's part, second: I’m a cursed weapon too. I’m gonna be taking my cut of the soul juice.]
“Uh… What just happened?”
Oh right, the chick holding onto both of you.
[Uh…their tainted souls were consumed by our righteous fury and turned to a higher purpose.]
[Indeed, oh by the way, make sure you empty the chambers on their revolvers. Ammo is a rare gift.]
You raise a metaphorical eyebrow.
[They had ammo all along!? You didn’t even need to spend souls!]
[They might have shot it all; I wasn’t taking any chances.]
Sure enough Karen only manages to recover two more unspent rounds.
>You have three bullets.
>The power of gunz can let you simply shoot enemies that might otherwise prove too challenging. However, ammo is expensive. Use it wisely.
>Quest will continue later…
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((Have a quick non-critical decision point before I go to bed.))
It seems a lot has changed since you were last active in the world. Gat could likely tell you more but you needed a second opinion.
[Noble Karen, long have I slumbered and much has changed since my era. Tell me what has transpired.]
“Ah, that's a rather broad question. I suppose we could start when the Grand Pontifex Phallac LXIX reset the Church calendar during the third conclave of Sodholm, although some scholars assert it was the edicts of his Holiness Glutius III that laid the foundation for modern doctrine. Personally I think the consensus of the sixth Maltanic council doesn’t get enough credit for how it informs contemporary theological interpretation of the Light’s scriptures. Anywho, at about year 69 of the newer holy era there was a major schism within the Order of Retention when the Goon faction asserted that vigorous self-”
If you had eyes they would be twitching right now. None of this was relevant. Dumb bitch clearly thought spewing the minutiae of Church history was a sign of piety or something. You regret ever asking the question.
>Just ignore Karen and ask G’tanen for info.
>[YOU TALK TOO MUCH! SUMMARIZE RECENT HISTORY IN 20 WORDS OR LESS!]
>Write In (Maybe ask Karen or Gat something specific?)