>no baww threads

this is dumb

>>34951185
Confess, COWARD!!!

https://voca.ro/1kp1XI3oe9rE

>>34951246
is this skelemode? you use this shit way too much bro

>>34951317
you are recognizing people by voice and comitting their discord names to memory and telling others they're on here too much? i've posted my tag on here like 3 times lol. very odd post to make

>>34951421
There’s a lot of weird faggots on here that are on here literally all day collecting info about people never post your real tag

>>34951421
by this shit i meant vocaroo you self-conscious projecting faggot. slow down and go easy on the breathing exercises and abdominal tension. why so defensive? you plaster your shit all over the place and love to attention-whore, and not just on this board.

>>34951436
evidently lol, the last time I posted that was a literal month ago. I've accepted two friend requests and I've only actually talked to one person. no fucking way I'm making two discord accounts I didn't even want to make one.
>>34951444
I've quite literally never posted a vocaroo anywhere but this board, and I've posted my tag on this board like three times over the course of a year? I'm guessing you're that fat guy that made the thread about getting beaten as a child? Explains the aggression

>>34951444
I don’t think he was projecting anything I think the nail was hit on the head if you’re e-stalking this nigga the way you’re letting everyone know in these posts

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>>34951460
not at all but i did read that thread and i guess heightened pattern recognition goes along with intelligence, who'd have thunk brother faggot.
you're weak and neurotic but try to play to your strength of masking that by being flamboyant and flippant. it's just pathetic.
deleting that vocaroo, posting shallow crap like this it just reeks of the deepest tortured insecurity. any semblance of self-reflection is just a desperate attempt at masking how there really isn't much at all. neglect's a bitch.
go ahead and quip now, little man lmao

>>34951467
what are you, his boyfriend? let the man fight his own battles

>>34951483
I'm pretty sure heightened pattern recognition comes with the autism it takes to seethe over posts made a month ago enough to wait for that same person to post again to reply with a gay little "gotcha" like this lol.
>you're weak and neurotic but try to play to your strength of masking that by being flamboyant and flippant. it's just pathetic.

cool ChatGPT Psychoanalysis but it's kind of moot when I'm outright stating these things to begin with? It's not really an own as much as it's just making me wonder what I said to make you this emotionally invested in me. I kind of regret the molestation quip because it probably hits home for a lot of the people on here, you most likely included? I can repost the vocaroo if you wanted to listen to it again but I just wanted to see you mention it in your post to know you went back to listen to it again even though it's only been up for like 40 minutes

>>34951486
Are you his ex boyfriend? You kept that in your head for a month and you’re doing a gay little scolding of a guy who’s posted 4 times in 5 months?

>>34951483
these posts are incredibly mundane for this board what the fuck has you so mad over them? you’re saying he’s projecting but this is the most neurotic shit imaginable

>>34951519
boy oh boy does this guy keep a notched tally above his desk and wank off to it lmao
this turning in circles and chasing your own tail, does it really satisfy you? shadow boxing, tryna get in people's heads lol, telling on yourself with the gotcha thing, revealing your own thought processes.
moot to you maybe cause your pathology necessitates you standing in your own line of sight and all, but else you'd see how i elaborated on it. maybe it'll click sometime later.
also i will make it a point that i never fornicate with devil machines and all that's just the product of me being bored and browsing soc, you sad, little man.
that second convoluted, silly little paragraph, yeah? i want you to go and read that back a few times and realize what that says about you lol
and for the record: we've never interacted before, i just think you're mighty gay and i enjoy fucking with you right now. don't make it too fun for me, beware lmao

>>34951525
why do both of you act like i actively kept this in my mind lol, what is this level of projection? i come here to troll and fuck with people and i've a good memory, it ain't so deep.
but seriously though, must you cup his balls at all times like this like a chimp? it's weird.

>>34951536
it isn't lol

i'm both curious why it was felt that a vocaroo was needed for this thread, why it was deleted and what drama from outside this board has caused the ensuing fallout between two spergs. lmfao.

>>34951548
https://voca.ro/14HGqDpmfQ9d

>>34951557
rly hit a nerve there lol

>>34951553
holy SHIT dude this is like some adolescent tier shit, are you even reading what you’re posting? are you going to accuse every poster in the thread of projection and never do any introspection? How the fuck does accusing me of projection even make sense? I wasn’t in that thread because it was a month ago, you VERY CLEARLY ACTIVELY KEPT IT IN YOUR MIND, you’re BRINGING IT UP after a MONTH you autistic retard. Are you stupid?

>>34951570
nigger check the post number i quoted, are you retarded? why are you so mad hahahaha. WHY ARE YOU TYPING IN CAPS SO MUCH AHHH

>>34951569
I'm pretty sure I am the one who struck the nerve if you're, once again, remembering a post I made a month ago and thinking about it so much that you had to confront me about in a thread, once again, a Month Later. You can keep writing your schizo walls of text full of projection, which is a word you keep using I assume because I used it in that thread? I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be projecting because all I've said so far is you're a weird freak for even remembering that? I'm genuinely not even sure what point you're trying to get across here

>>34951598
ok, now read that in your silly little voice again and entertain me lol

>>34951602
I'm on my phone now I can't. But I'm glad you're just straight up admitting you like hearing me talk lol. Kind of reminds me of the guy from that thread. Hmmmm... You wanna add me on discord or something?

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>>34951598
...well now i'm not sure if this entire thread is just some samefagging schizoposting but you do realize that people see you deleting comments if they have an extension on their browser?

>>34951605
you really are a one-trick pony, aren't you haha

>>34951608
I realized I said retards instead of retard so I was literally just calling myself a schizo retard. You got me!
>>34951610
are you flirting with me?

lot of sexual tension here

>>34951608
the histrionics would fit so well lmao, nice. this guy is such a nervous wreck it's amazing

>>34951611
...then why delete it? this just seems like backpedaling. Look man I don't know what the fuck you are all going on about in this thread and desu, i dont wanna know

>>34951611
boy was i on the money with the faggot thing wasn't i

>>34951620
I swear to god this guy isn't me he's just obsessed with me

>>34951631
you oughta keep the repressed desires for night-time, and not flaunt so in public. it's very vulgar!

>>34951643
you can’t just call a guy gay after stalking him for a month then start making weird little comments like this and not get called out on it

>>34951665
buddy retard you already fucked up above is this not enough humiliation already?
stalking?? because i recognized a pattern after a month? it's like you guys enjoy revealing you have shit memory or you're just sorta dim. do you have an inner monologue? are you able to visualize? come ooon now, this is so embarrassing.
used to be everybody on this board understood the concept of loosh farming insecure little faggots for kicks. wtf happened?

>>34951685
the classic “call anybody who thinks you’re a weird faggot the guy you’re having an argument with” schizo tactic

>>34951685
I'm glad you just recently learned the term Pattern Recognition but it literally doesn't even apply here at all and it makes no fucking sense whatsoever why you keep using it. What pattern are you even recognizing? You're acting like a fucking anime character making these posts like it's the coolest thing in the world but it really doesn't change the fact that you committed my voice and discord tag to memory for a month because you were upset about what I said in it? You throw out these words like Projection and Insecure when you're doing one and are the other. I don't have a shit memory because I obviously remembered the post as well because I fucking made it? None of the points you're trying to make here are hitting no matter how cool and aloof you're trying to make yourself seem with the no caps and streeeetched vowels.

>>34951708
are you ok? are you new to this site? i don't think you get the id and post nr system or your reading comprehension is just way off. in any case, you seem to actually be dim so i'll allow you to stop posting now buddy

>>34951709
i post to make myself laugh and entertain myself lol, not to make an impression on you in any other way than to provoke you into embarrassing yourself. but i see the inflated, fragile ego permeates more than just the stilted tone in your voice.
yeah but you reveal that your memory works like a narrow container that can only ever hold a few things at once and must clasp them perpetually? that sounds like a bad time jeez. mine just brings up things i've seen or heard before when the stimulus hits but hey you do you anxietymaxxer

>>34951733
>mine just brings up things i've seen or heard before when the stimulus hits but hey you do you anxietymaxxer
sounds like a trauma response lol. not really here to debate abuse vs neglect again/ I'm back on my computer again though, you want to hear my "stimulating" voice again?

>>34951722
You type like such an autistic faggot it’s no wonder you’re already up to 15 posts in this thread obsessing over a single guy while vehemently denying it when every single other person in the thread sees it for what it is. Hope you get over whatever it is that set you off here brother

>>34951778
??? i know i'm beating a dead horse here w calling out the projection but fuck lmao, are you even conscious? that's literally what i implied in describing your memory by inference, it doesn't even make sense applied to what i wrote about myself? this is some shit haha i'm genuinely baffled

>>34951779
i allowed you to check out bro, take it

>>34951792
Oh no the autistic pseud is going to remember my typing habits a month later and epically own me in a throwaway thread!!!

>>34951820
oh away with you, you petulant little boy. stop inserting yourself into other's conversations

>>34951792
i'm guessing you're trying to "infer" rumination on my part? which doesn't really make much sense because you're clearly the one that has been ruminating here given that (i'm not repeating it again you already know what i'm going to say) and then you describe you describe your memory as being involuntarily triggered by stimuli (classic trauma response) so yes I'm Very aware you're beating a dead horse with the Projection word, probably because I used it in that other thread and you just wanted to use it before I did Lol, but the playing dumb thing is kind of retarded. The most embarrassing thing I've done here is reply to you this many times so I'm just gonna say hahaha I am actually laughing so hard right now. This is actually really funny hahaha and let you get your cool little marvel quip last word in or whatever. Hope it gets better for you and I hope you get control of that weight loss because there's no fucking way you aren't just the guy who made that thread. I'll probably see you again in a month because you for sure post more here than I do!

>>34951834
reading this thread back that inflated ego thing you brought up is like blatant projection. There’s a rule on the internet that the first guy who uses that word IS the one projecting. Literally all anyone had to do is read your posts from a perspective that isn’t yours to notice this. Your gay little Reddit typing mannerisms certainly don’t help.
>hmph, away with thee good sir! thine petulant little fuckcrustable!
>>34951842
stop fucking replying to this loser and go shave your armpits

>>34951842
woah. that's pretty fucked up lol. the projection is so deep i'd have to write an entire dissertation, man.
why's that guy trigger you so hard? no wait, lemme ape: "why are you eo obsessed???" lol.
this whole discussion you've been on the defense because you'd already revealed far too much and know nothing about me. hence the grasping at straws, whereas i can just default to calling out your angsty screeds. i was 21 and fucked up too once, buddy. you ain't special.
it's honestly impressive you kept at it for so long considering the above, since it's just stubborn and retarded and i'd given you my mission statement twice over.
i recommend pete walker on cptsd if you actually wanna get over your condition. i mean you keep bringing it up lmao. but it's far easier to dick about like this isn't it. some people are just mindraped for good, and i enjoy fucking with you far too much so no by all means keep going haha

>>34951866
yawn you're far too dim for me to try and make you even more upset than you already are. but you're just rotating at this point lol

sorry to all the sexual tensioners here

im going crazy and im just rambling because i cant dm anyone irl about it because i feel so disgusting for it, throw away on disc is “ beepboopbeepbeepboopboop”
sorry im realising its quire scatter brained so dont read then idk
idk when it all started but i think when i realised id never really be the same was when i was 8, my mum and dad divorced around when i was born, my dad was really abusive and my mum wasnt really raised in the best of households so i dont blame her for liking him and beinf with him, she ended up cutting off her entire famiky when i was around 7 and i just never saw them again after that. she was never really in my life to begin with but the whole entire reason i’d go outside was to see my family so without any reason too we just stayed inside. its also probably relevant that my mum has a lot of mental disabilities and chronic illnesses, which i dont blame her for or anything it jusr affected me alot as a child. anyway, because she just stopped gaf about me going outside when school wasnt a thing she wouldnt shower me, (i went a entire 6week holiday without a shower and she wouldnt let me shower on my own which i guess is reasonable), wouldnt let me outside at all, even in our backgarden, she wouldnt interact with me when id ask to play or something and idk it really changed my perspective of how i see her. anyway. when i was around 8 i adjusted and i just used the internet everyday, which is probably why my eyesight is so shit now. at the start it was great and i got to play minecraft and roblox everyday but it eventualky got rlly lonely, my dad spread rumours to all my other friends parents that my mum was insane or something so school became isolating aswell. idk it drove me to the internet and what im trying to say throughout this entire stupid paragraph is that i got groomed on google hangouts. he’d make me film myself getting off to gore and when i wouldnt he’d threaten (next msg

>>34951885
Brother you are up to 18 posts and you’re still inserting little lines in these posts revealing how emotionally invested you are in this exchange. Guy talked about being a NEET essentially which is like, par for the course for this board? And now you’re projecting CPTSD on the guy? Which he literally just called out in the post you REPLIED to. I guess he was right on the money about that trauma response thing and the little quip about being “21 and fucked up too YOURE NOT SPECIAL!!!” is there a self aware bone in your body? The things you’ve typed here have also been way more angsty and edgy? I don’t even think you’d be capable of writing a dissertation without repeating the same 2 points you’ve tried to make here over and over. You’d probably just start writing about yourself to be honest lol

>>34951921
this reads like a woman wrote it. deeply concerning.

>>34951924
yeah and the other guy’s the faggot, huh? Lmao. Literal open book here

>>34951928
because i call you a woman?

part 2

what an awful place for it to get cut off

anyway

when i wouldnt film myself touching myself to literal motorcycle incidents he’d threaten to send it to my school (when we first got 2 know eachother i told him everything bc i didnt know any better, he also told me he was 10 but thats such a fucking lie), idk. it kept getting worse and worse and i didnt know what to do so i just kept talking to him. idk hiw this worked out but he had another friend who he introduced me too and i had to send it to them both which just makes me feel even more disgusting. theyd make me call them brother and theyd call me sister like that weird fucking incest game and i hate it so much and i hate that my mum didnt even do anything. at one point she ended up checking my tablet and when she ended up teling me on that car ride home from school i got so excited because then it could finally stop because i thought surely she would be able to do something. but she didnt. and i dont get why. nowadays she checks my things so much she goes back messages from years ago (she doesnt know what actually happend, whenever ive tried opening up to my friends about it ive always said ive never sent any videos and it was just him being perverted to a kid, so i guess thats what she thinks). but its never made sense how she said she went through it, referenced things ive said (like calling him brother) WHICH I REMEMBER HAVING WEIRD THINGS IN THE CONVERSATION TOPIC and not doing anything?? i just dont get why and it bothers me so much. its not fair to air her business out but she was SA’d as a child so i thought surely she’d know the signs or something;g but i guess not? it just pisses memoff so much and i hate it and i wsnt to ask her why but i cant becsuse then she’d know the rest of it and i dont want her too and it pisses me off. idki£iwjsiwjsjwjs

>>34951885
deflecting your projection for the entire thread then recommending a book to deal with trauma and calling yourself fucked up in your last reply is crazy what in the bipolar?? just add the guy and get this thread off the fucking catalog you molested redditor

>>34951942
What do you want from people adding you? That's a horrible situation but you need a therapist not random anons, most of whom are going to try to revictimize you.

>>34951947
that's an f in reading comprehension you buzzwordraped associationcel lmao

>>34951955
yeah you know this guys a redditor because he just brings up terms like pattern recognition and reading comprehension and never actually uses them correctly lmfao, probably the third time you’ve used it in the 20 walls of text you’ve written here without leaving your computer in the last three hours

>>34951963
i'm actually soaking in the tub on my phone but ok lol?
this board is so fucked nowadays i swear, but i'll give you another chance bro, you can do far better

>>34951955
you wrote a sentence with like 3 buzzwords in it and you’re calling out buzzwords? makes no fucking sense. what buzzword did he even use? I wonder if this guys gonna be here all night please reply to my post too

>>34951969
>um I’m actually in the tubby wubby with my rubber ducky wucky? on my phone with the same ID somehow??
Who do you think is going to read this shit and believe it lol. Even if you are in the bathtub you’ve been posting in this thread non stop for FOUR hours not three that guy didn’t even check the hour timestamp

>>34951981
it upsets you when people enjoy things doesn't it lol

>>34951985
Please don’t “um let people enjoy things sweetie” post on 4chan you are not beating the faggot allegations here

>>34951997
but if i enjoy the loosh and you get all seethy about it i figure more fool you right?

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>>34952001
>loosh

noticed someone snooping in this thread and thought I’d do a little of my own. here’s what this guy looks like btw lol if you search this retarded Monroe institute neologism there’s only like 10 results total and one of them is dead on to this guys pseudo intellectual typing habits. “buddy friend” “buddy retard” ctrl f buddy in this thread and that one and it’s only from one ID in each. pretty funny! looks like I’m recognizing a few patterns myself here lol. Fairly sure I’m actually using that term correctly in this instance too unlike some here

>>34952178
What the fuck you’re right https://archived.moe/soc/thread/31649109/
same vague self help drivel and catty little remarks whenever anyone calls him out on it. thread immediately dies when people stop replying to him, nuts. This was like 3 years ago and he’s still at it. Grim Unc status. Not really surprising he was lurking the woman hate thread and got mad at the guy making fun of it

>>34952178
definitely looks like the phenotype of a guy who spends 4 straight hours replying to posts lol, good detective work. Reminder to anyone else on here maybe don’t follow obvious patterns when you rave about your amazing pattern recognition skills.
>only guy in the archives to have used that word in two separate posts in both of these threads
that’s another bit of evidence. I’m sensing a pattern here! very entertaining thread

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>>34952178
>>34952201
>>34952233
holy schizo cope lol, but no cigar. what is this obsession?

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>>34952178
>>34952668
lol ofc my id changes. here, before you have a conniption

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crazy people are pushing out threads like this but are fully ok with the nonstop gooner threads, penises and the same kik-snapchat-telegram-session threads along with the same four dating threads.

all of you should kill yourself, youre what killed this board.

Seriously what the fuck y’all. I don’t know why you thought this was a good use of this thread but it’s fucked now. You all deserve each other. This makes me sick.

>>34952178
https://voca.ro/12kmB8p1721J

>>34952178
This is the weirdest stalk I have ever seen stop sniping others and get a life

>>34955782
??? thats literally how this entire thread started from what i’m seeing here. get off the VPN and stop samefag bumping this shit dude a thread died for this

>>34955800
troglodyte moment, that ain't me

>>34955828
okay weird autism cadenced british guy with 2 posts in the thread thanks for letting me know? lmao what the fuck is with the people on this board

>>34952668
you should apologize to all of us for your lolcow behavior Daniel

>>34955830
i'm the guy they thought they gotcha'd you major fuckin dumbass lmao, i swear. id's change

>>34955839
do you think that shames me lol. what'd i do to piss you off in particular?

>>34955847
>>34955850
jesus christ dude are you just sitting in this thread waiting for someone to argue with you? im actually looking at this shit now instead of just skipping to the bottom and you seem to have like 40 posts in here over multiple IDs and you lash out like you’re on your period whenever somebody replies to you. no wonder indians are taking over your country if this is the issue your ancestors spawned lol gl with your HPD “Daniel”. probably have a long history of doing shit like this if people are calling you out by name from your timid little peek-a-boo selfie lmfao. maybe you’d act like more of a man if you cut your fucking hair you spiritual tranny. god I hate british people

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>>34951024
I wish I could've just done it all but I couldn't.
Is that what I was supposed to do? No matter the zero returns I experienced, my concerns and personal well-being; just keep going and hope in spite of all information to the contrary that things would work out?
I'm only one man. I'd like to think once I was one of the best, but trying to save our family from you while I was working my ass off in every conceivable department of life for all of us destroyed me slowly. I didn't have anything left or anywhere else to get it from. You made me not want to sleep in my own bed. Not only did you destroy my home but you made it to where I don't even want to save it from what you did anymore.
I'm not so sorry to you as I am to our family. Not only are they going to pay for your sins forever but they're going to pay with the fact I was unable to do anything about it in spite of the fact I did twenty times what anyone else would ever do to try and hold things together.
I'm sorry I wasn't who I needed to be. I'm sorry I can't get back on track; I don't see a reason to. How does a man decided to continue living his life when everything a good man lives his life for turns out to be hollow or the source of all his pain?
Maybe this is what people want to hear me say: I'm sorry I'm a failure, I'm sorry I couldn't meet the bar. Maybe I just have to admit that first.

>>34955864
boy does it bother you lmao
why would i make it so easy for the rascals to track me down anyways?
also lol @ girls have long hair haha

>>34955874
I mean somebody already said your first name and you got baited by a random into posting a picture of yourself. You are clearly not making it very difficult for people to recognize you, probably because the goal is to seek attention?
>also lol @ girls have long hair haha
…yes? I don’t understand what you’re trying to say here, they do? Your typing mannerisms remind me of a homeschooled autistic guy I used to know how the fuck are you still saying lol@ in 2026. Are you actually in your 30s acting like this online?

>>34955874
dude I don’t think you’re making it that difficult if you’re posting a picture of yourself with your face half covered and people are still calling you by your first name. but I am pretty sure all of this attention seeking behavior is for the express purpose of being recognized anyway so I don't even know why I’m dipping my toes into this looney bin of a thread. You’re like 30 years old doing this stuff lol. It’s like having to watch homeless people lose their mind on the sidewalk and you just kind of hope the cops do something about it but they never do. Feel bad for anyone taking this thread seriously.

>>34955887
This reply gave me a posting error and I had to rewrite it and it posted it anyway. Now I’m the one bumping this nightmare of a thread.

>>34955887
thread was dead after i demonstrated the detective work was schizo lol. and i'll say the diction and style of all three posts are rather sus but what do i know, that's neither here nor there
i keep stating my purpose here and retards like you keep interacting just giving me what i want. you can't help yourself cuz you gotta prove something here. i'm peachy.

>>34955952
>me me me i i i
okay whatever you day you coping narcissistic loser. Everybody else has something to prove but you get baited into letting everyone know your name and face because you obviously had something to prove. You’re a drive-in movie theater tier projector. Your entire post history here is you doing something and then accusing someone else of doing what you’re doing. Is this a humiliation fetish thing? Would check out given your genetic makeup

Are the servers fucked or something? I’ve tried to make like three posts and they just don’t show up when I refresh even though they’re going through

>>34956027
yeah but see, the difference is that when i use layman's psych talk like you do here it's to weaponize it and get under someone's skin whereas you genuinely try to make sense of me and my behavior, taking it so incredibly serious, tryna scry something about who i am. not because you enjoy fucking with someone but because for some reason you need to make sense of it and re-establish control because it makes you feel insecure one way or another.
lemme illustrate this: when you're a vegan and try to argue with somebody about killing and eating animals and they declare it is simply their arbitrary decision, then what can you do? or let's say you're an anti-natalist, same scenario. you understand the analogy? if i simply declare that i'm doing this for my own enjoyment and in no way try to justify myself you bite out your teeth on it. and i keep getting more amused. and even me explaining this to you won't stop you. you have a lotta hang-ups as evidenced by what you write and this is a major one

>>34956133
yeah the servers are fucked

>>34956170
That is a lot of words to say very little lol you’re clearly very unbothered and amused you could have just said “haha u mad” if you were actually feeling the things you are trying to convince me you feel

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i Truly and Sincerely apologize to the OP of this thread for setting this guy off lol but this shit is Not on me anymore....... this thread is about forgiveness so please grant me yours......

>>34956264
oh dear oh heavens what will i do lol. is a cheap gotcha all you're able to muster? so predictable haha

>>34956264
why do you keep giving him attention when you, or someone else already correctly identified he's histrionic? he lives for this shit because he doesnt have anything else. ignore and move on

>>34956291
my nigga these people are like monkeys in a zoo there’s like one in every thread. you throw the peanut and they do a flip. it’s not just amusing to them. when I stop replying someone else will come along and squeeze some amusement out of him and he gets attention in return. this board is an ecosystem

>>34956291
-isms and -ics are grand labels to insulate yourself aren't they lol, tryna identify types like that on 4chan by posts is advanced hubris but somebody's gotta do it eh lmao

>>34956310
now this is amazing, just baffled at this point honestly

>>34951557
>https://voca.ro/14HGqDpmfQ9d
>>34951598
shit like this is why crybaby pwese come back threads are not allowed. they're filled with little bitch boys like this

>>34951444
Nigger this is a board for plastering your shit. Stop being jealous of dudes having a personality besides being a fucking cumbrain

>>34951933
Because you're a faggot complaining about this board not becoming more of a /gif/. Now fuck off to your containment BBC and cock rating threads, literal homosexual.

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i have thought of you every single day since we broke up last year. i can't delete the pictures of you. i sleep with your stuffed animal every night. i pray that you meet a girl much better than me, so you can forget about me and be happy again.

>>34956703
mutt's law in effect i see lol

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>>34956986
All the biggest moments of growth have happened when I let go of the past: past homes, past friends, past lovers, past thoughts. Holding on can make you lose yourself, because everything keeps moving while you stay stuck, wanting to go back to a world that no longer exists.
Letting go is hard, but it doesn’t have to be an end. It was a beautiful life, and it’s time for the next one. And memories are beautiful to have, not a burden to carry.
Those past lives planted seeds in us, some good and some bad. Some of them stay with us and form us, while others wither away. You do not have to wither with them. You can still find the right garden to bloom.

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I had everything I wanted handed to me on a silver platter, the perfect woman for me. My best friend- my only true friend. My only real family. The only human being, let alone woman, I'd ever understood and am likely every to have the privilege of understanding, considering how I am. I'd already experienced 15 prior relationships at the age of 24, and now I'm 27. This month separated, and weeks with no contact, have been the hardest in my entire life, bar none. You dragged me out of the United States for the first time in my life. Germany was so wonderful, even Gelsenkirchen kicked the shit out of anywhere I've been in the USA over my whole life. I finally got to see and ride on trains!

I can never apologize enough. You paid for your own flight to come see a literal disabled autist, took a chance on your first boyfriend, .. you were really in love with me. I know you still are. I hang on your every word, Lara- I know you've shoved me away at this point to prevent further mutual harm, but that era of our lives had already ended.. it's such a shame that it all collapsed as everything fell into place.

Shattering your trust repeatedly was unforgivable. I don't blame you for never wanting to see me again. What you did for vengeance made me feel worthless for a moment, but .. it's so easy to forgive you, especially with what I've already done. I can't believe it's over, all over .. I can't believe those 32 pages of heartfelt love letter I sent you were wasted effort.. Truth be told, that was the easiest thing I'd ever done. Those pages poured from the pen in less than 2 hours, but I hath earned my place here. You can do whatever you want to me.

I'm sorry.

>>34957349
i needed to read that. thank you