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Well tg, it looks like we haven't had a thread like this in a while, or maybe I just missed the last one, but I found my old character sheet from a campaign that ended so incredibly anticlimactically so I figured I'd take some time talking about it. Share your experiences here, vent. Let it all out.

It's my first time playing Pathfinder 1e in the late 2010s. The GM is the little brother of one of our usual group members, said member is becoming a massive that guy. In truth he was always like that as we came to know him longer, just he was HIDING it really well up to this point. His younger brother is running an all Evil campaign. The Goal? Destabilize the nation of Cheliax for a Demon cult, I belive it was in service to Lemashtu but it has been almost a decade since the game so I could be wrong. We aren't cult members, just evil mercenaries.

The characters in this endeavor? A Half-Giant monk who is trying to run a mercenary company and have troops with guns, a cursed Medusa lady wizard, a neutral Cleric played like a simp, a hyper minmaxed synthesist Summoner played by the that guy, and finally me. I was playing a Teifling Eldritch Scion Magus from Thuvia. I and the GM came up with a backstory for this character to say he was an old sultan whose city state and family was destroyed by Cheliax troops trying to find the Youth Elixir's formula. This led to my character despising all of Cheliax, and most of humanity in general.

1/2
+Showing all 136 replies.
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>>97872272

The shit that ended up happening was the GM mid campaign COMPLETELY retconned my entire backstory, and most of everyone else's when his game was slowly falling apart. His older brother was about 50% to blame for that so I can't hold it completely against him. His brother was a cheater, a minmaxer, and a drunk. Man threw up all over the table one day because he was, and I quote exact, "testing his limits on how much he can drink because he can't drink much at home with his overly religious parents". My character now was ACTUALLY stuck in some annoying pact with Rakshasas, oh and his family? All alive far up north. Since his entire motivation was revenge he literally stopped being an angry arcane monster. Game ended soon after this. We tried doing an all good party game after this. Had 2 sessions, and we never continued that game.

If you're reading this Bat, I don't blame you for this. Your game was falling apart because of all the bullshit involving your cheating brother. I know you used to browse tg Xander, so I hope you're a miserable no games FUCK after the shit you caused at our table.

2/2
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>>97872272
This guy would keep doing the voice, you know the one, and no one else at the table was doing voices, so it's like can this guy take a hint, no, we had to tell him to stop doing voices, and it was this whole argument, and shoved our shit on the floor, we basically chased him out. We play with their brother so we had to explain to him that dude is a cunt and he stopped playing with us too. Careful who you play with.
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>>97872272
>>97872286
I like your story and the theme of this thread but I am very tired so I give you this wizard lady and will talk to you tomorrow goodnight OP
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>>97872504
>player had fun the wrong way so we kicked him out
>his brother realised we were judgemental pricks and also left
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>>97872272
There are the common ones

Player not paying attention
Player being contrarian in their character choices
The intentional balance breaker

But something that really ticked me off

>playing AL in small town
>one table a session type small so basically regular group
>paladins torturing people by breaking fingers and restoring them with lay on hands
>>alignment isnt tied to class anymore. Cant punish players long term in AL
>Would complain but I was the newest and had no other IRL game options
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Someone thought it was a good idea to bring 5 bean with extra onion casserole dip to our game that was held in a very enclosed area.

Had to call it early because the whole room became a Dutch oven of farts.
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>>97872504
I'mma be real, y'all were the problem here.
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>>97873318
The hell is AL?
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>>97873384
Absolutely evil ngl.
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>>97873737
Adventurers League
Premade adventures for D&D that lets you keep character progress between tables. DMs cant make biased subjective rule decisions for consistency. Good idea in concept.
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>>97873307
>>97873704
I bet you fags do voices too. Take the hint, ain't nobody want that.
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>>97873850
Thank you for immediately confirming that you were the cunt.
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>>97874207
You DO do the cunt voices, wow.
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>>97873850
Yeah you were DEFINITELY the problem.
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>>97872272
Last year spring, 2d20 Conan
>Newfag player
>Smokes, so leaves every 30 minutes
>Drinks one Monster after another (emptied 11 cans over 5.5 hours), so goes to bathroom every 40-45 minutes, never aligning it with his smoke breaks
>Decides that playing a loony character and intentionally disrupting every action of others is going to be great
>Constantly uses up all the momentum build on his own actions, which quickly turned into spending momentum before his turn
>Doesn't really understand the rules at all, so constantly has to be corrected - and that despite actually reading them well enough to remember pages where specific stuff is mentioned or at least next to what artwork
>When pizza arrives 3 hours into the game, he doesn't chip in, despite being told beforehand how this goes, and he fucking ordered one for himself
Been a while since I saw a cunt like that, but it wasn't even a discussion when we decided to never invite him again.
The only benefit of this guy showing up was that the GM finally accepted that he needs to vet people out, rather than "b-but it's a friend of a trusted friend" routine when looking for the 4th player
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>>97872286

You know what, I'm shitting on this guy some more, because fuck him.

Xander as we continued to play with him over the years was an insufferable minmax power gamer to a point where you couldn't balance a game with him playing. It's either overload encounters for him and overwhelm the other players, or make combat fun for others. If you made it fun he'd barely pay attention, and would just play his switch.
Oh GOD his switch. He'd play it every game day during the fucking game. If he wasn't just going full murderhobo in a game, it's switch time. If it's time for Roleplay, he has his character go to bed and start playing smash bros or something. The only characters he'd play were near emotionless lizards, dogmen, or anything similar so he could just make a drunken unga bunga character, and the worst part was he wasn't even good at PLAYING them. He copied meta builds he sucked at playing, and when he wasn't doing that he was just giving his characters abilities he shouldn't have. He put points in everything he could every game, but was useless at everything.

Then there was the BLATANT fucking cheating. He'd have a wall of empty soda cans to try and hide rolls in any game, and when we told him to roll in the open he'd pitch an autistic shitfit like a manchild. Then there's the fact his characters always had more experience than the rest of the party, or have stats they shouldn't even be able to have at that level.

1/?
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>>97875203

My group back then were all big fans of the Fantasy Flight Star Wars RPG, and this is where the cracks began to form hard. Let me give the setup for the game; we were playing two years after Order 66, with the Galactic Empire gaining more and more power. As a party we at this point in time were mostly just people on the run be it by the empire, or by crime syndicates. Xander decided he wants to play a Tssi-Ruuk, those dinosaur people that are basically sentient raptors and t-rex people the size of a human. He does what he always does; picks the Marauder career and just puts points in guns and melee, which would be fine if he didn't give himself 1000+ bonus experience.

If you don't know the system, FFG Star Wars and by extension Genesys, runs off of a talent tree based system where experience points earned are saved and plugged into talent trees or skills based on the careers you have. This fucker, to make sure he's better than all of us, puts points he doesn't even have into the character. For worse context we only had around 350 by the time the campaign abruptly ended. This was how he had such high armor values that he was tanking lightsabers.

Now me and my friend only figured this out WAY after most of the campaign was done. See Xander's friend and brother had the Star Wars books, so we didn't have access to them all the time. That was until my other friend joined our group. He ended up buying every book and made a legal character that was a better damage dealer than Xander was, Completely overshadowing him in every way. Then one night we all while checking the books after a session had finished realized that while we at the time had maybe 315xp, he had to have over 1400xp for all the classes, skills, and talents he had. Needless to say it made us all fucking angry to find out just how deep his cheating had gone since the near begining of when we started playing with him.

2/? For now. If u remember anything else I'll shit on him again.
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>>97875127
It always sucks to be the newguy. You never know if you're gonna be detrimentally retarded, or bf alright. I'm gonna say this guy was EXTREMELY Retarded.
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>>97873273
Nice art anon. What's your story?
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>>97876327
A series of many, some of them I'm lucky enough to have notes on. Let Me find the highlights
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These are the stories of Eric, the worst person I've ever had the pleasure of playing with. All of these took place when Me and My core group were teenagers, from about 15 to 19.

The first of Eric's stories was from an Egyptian-themed campaign. Notably, Eric is a huge Bethesda fanboy, autistically passionate about Fallout and Skyrim. At the time, we were playing D&D 5e, and Eric chose to play a tabaxi. He made his character away from the table with the help of one of My best friends, Preston, who was a player in the game and the one who invited him at the first place.

Eric shows up with a tabaxi storm sorcerer. No issue there. The first quest they get is to reclaim a small fort that had been taken over by some bandits. They go to the back of the fort and they know there's a bandit patrolling the wall. Eric asks to climb the wall and get to the space right beside the bandit, to which Me and the others point out he'll be immediately spotted and instigate a fight.

Eric's verbatim response? "I'm proficient in sneak."

I shit you not, he seriously thought he could climb the wall, get beside the bandit, and simply crouch to disappear like it was fucking Skyrim. Part of Me wishes I let him do it just to smack him in the face with the bandit's axe, but they chose another route that I don't fully remember now.
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>>97876786
Skyrim and its consequences have been a disaster for Dungeons and Dragons.
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>>97876786

Aight you can't just leave it at that anon. I require MOAR
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>>97876786
>simply crouch to disappear
Or maybe he thought
>the stealth skill covers my character doing the appropriate action

Could you explain why he couldn't sneak up behind the guard?
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>>97876786
>Eric asks to climb the wall and get to the space right beside the bandit, to which Me and the others point out he'll be immediately spotted and instigate a fight.
... why didn't you make a sneak/spot check first?
Because it sounds like the dice wasn't even looked at, not to mention rolled, but somehow it's the player that's bad, and not the GM going full fiat.
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>>97876786
Either you are telling this story wrong, or the only retard in that story was (You)
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>>97877943
Theres two that are unironically the ThatGuy while thinking they are the victim

>>97876786
>>97872504
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>>97872272
Worse things have happened at my table, but this was just strange. This was OD&D. There was a player who semi-regularly needed to come to sessions late. He was more of a friend of a friend. I told him so that he could keep up with the party, his character can get a bonus to exploring surrounding hexes, exploring while the party works on something else.
"No, he'll sleep," he told me.
What the hell?
He was ride or die for this. His character would be sound asleep until the moment he showed up.
I kept asking if he was sure.
"Yeah, man, he needs a nap," he told me.
He finally quit after a session where he had to justify how his character joined during a dungeon crawl, and finally said, "Sleepwalking?"
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>>97875203
This guy stinks.
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>>97878627

OP here, he was terrible to play with. Hyper unbalanced encounters in games he tried running too. He seemingly expected EVERYONE to minmax and cheat at every single game. He ran a one shot investigation game that was just d&d shadow over innsmouth, and when we went to fight undead risen by the sahaugin we were overwhelmed by like 100 zombies, and CR8 frog demons. We were LEVEL 3 AT THAT POINT.
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>>97878613
My honest reaction to this information
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>>97878762
Was not fighting the zombies and fleeing instead an option?
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>>97879018
No, as we were COMPLETELY surrounded. We couldn't escape, we were surrounded, and Xander had to send in some badass paladin dmpc to save us so we would be ALIVE for his attempt at a session 2. It never happened.
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>>97878613
Some people legitimately are incapable of creative thought.
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>>97872272

>hyper minmaxed synthesist Summoner

Synthesist summoners have never been "min-maxed" compared to regular summoners. You just think that way because it superficially looks stronger.
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>>97879063
Jump over and shoulder run
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>>97876786
Eric's story does not end here. Later on, they were going through a cave/dungeon occupied by ninja-like kobolds. Preston was playing a barbarian, and thus always took the head of the line in the narrow hallways and was the first to set off traps and start fights.

Something to note about Eric is that is ego was the size of Jupiter, but he had none of the talent, intellect, or skill to back it up. Despite having an ego the size of a solar system, it was more brittle than candy glass. Seeing Preston in the front all the time (who had 50+ HP) was a disintegrating blow to Eric's ego, because "why does he always get to be in the front? that's not fair, we should take turns!" Eric neglected to realize they were having this argument loudly, in the middle of a hallway which clearly has an ascending staircase at the end of it, which led to gods-know-what.

Preston decided this would be a good learning experience for Eric, and allowed him to go in the front. However, the kobolds in the room at the top of the stairs had heard the entire exchange and prepared accordingly. As soon as Eric reached the top of the stairs, he was pelted with shurikens triggered by the kobolds reactions, including one that hit after the point he was unconscious. The rest of the party went in and packed the house up. The cleric healed Todd, and eventually they got out (mostly) alive.

>>97877080
Many such cases.

>>97877333
Was out for a friend's birthday tonight. Will do another tomorrow cuz I have a few of these. It only gets worse.

>>97877525
I wasn't joking or exaggerating. He did believe that crouch-walking to basically turn invisible would be a thing. But if I were you, I wouldn't believe Me either. I don't blame you. Me and Preston and the guys explained the obvious after he gave us that reasoning.

>>97877862
If you stand right next to someone and aren't invisible, somehow magically silenced, or superhumanly stealthy (all of which he was not), they will be aware of you.
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>>97879288
>Todd
Forgot to say, Todd was the name of Eric's character. Named after Todd Howard. Future characters he played included "Reanu Keeves", "Arthur Morgan", and "Ulfric".
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>>97879288
You're missing the point. The character, admittedly new to roleplaying games, communicated his desire in a weird way, but he did communicate that he wanted to sneak up on the guard. Isolated, this incident makes you guys sound, at the very least, as bad as communicating as he was.
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>>97879320
*The player, not the character. Jfc.
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>>97872272
Currently with a group rn that ive been playing D&D with for well over 10 years, over multiple different campaigns and characters. Most of our campaigns are standard dungeon crawl stuff, but this time, before we started our DM said "Hey this next campaign is gonna have a decent mix of roleplaying and combat in it, are you guys cool with that?"
Everyone said yes and I got hyped, so I went all in. Rolled up a cool character and worked with the DM to come up with a backstory I really like, even took some non-optimum stats so I could roleplay better. Show up for session 1 and:
>Two guys have almost zero background, just playing generic characters
>One guy shows up with a hyper min-maxed character
>The final guy shows up with a hyper min-maxed character PLUS his backstory is lone wolf "I dont care about the party and am gonna do my own thing constantly"

Lone wolf dude immediately starts bitching that he can't fight his way out of every encounter, then gets annoyed if asked to roleplay anything.
One of the generic character guys immediately gets bored if we're not constantly in combat
Both of the min-maxed guys constantly try and rules lawyer their way out of nearly every encounter, even in roleplay

It just sucks desu, like I get that we normally do hack and slash dungeon crawling, but why would you agree to a roleplay heavy campaign if youre gonna spend most of the time upset that we have to roleplay? I was kinda excited for the roleplay aspect too ngl since we dont get to do it very often
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>>97879288
>If you stand right next to someone and aren't invisible, somehow magically silenced, or superhumanly stealthy (all of which he was not), they will be aware of you.
no.
It is very possible to quietly approach someone from behind without them noticing. Hard? Sure, but the dice should have been rolled. 5e even has built in mechanic for this
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>>97879288
Oh, so you were the dumbass in that entire story. Thanks for making it crystal clear.
>If you stand right next to someone and aren't invisible, somehow magically silenced, or superhumanly stealthy
Unless the rules of the game say so, of course.
But who needs them, when you can make an ass of yourself and then try to sell it as "check out my newest That Guy" story
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>>97876786
>>97879288
>Guy describes a regular stealth action
>Invokes character's proficiency at that
>Is denied a stealth roll
>Is denied spot/perception check of the NPC
>Somehow this is a Skyrim mindset by player
>That despite the story presents GM as idiot ignoring basic gaming conventions and rules of any kind
What should have happen was player either doing a Climb (if it was worth a check at all) and then Stealth check, or a compounded check for both, with he NPC doing a Spot counter-check. If done by a comptetent GM, the counter-check would be done first, but in an unrevealed cup, so once the PC is done with their actions, the counter-check is shown, giving the final outcome
And that assuming the most standard kind of resolution, because depending on the system, a check might not even be needed if the PC has the right elements in the sheet, where player would be outright in his right to declare the outcome
Even in the off-chance that the character can't pull this action off, the game rules should be used, rather than GM fiat declaration, given there is even that <1% chance the PC is going to pull it off.
And, on the assumption any of this really happened and the player said "I crouch-walk" as an excuse, you should STILL go with the rules of whatever game that was involved and make a check, just to not be a cunt fiating stuff, while also showing the player on a live example the game rules make it very hard/improbable to pull

Case the point: last autumn, I had a completely new player who only prior played cRPGs and a single session of CoC on a fantasy con. So he was constantly thinking in terms of vidya mechanics. But the easiest way to shake him out of this was simply informing him before the game that actions have consequences, but anything goes. All it took was accounting aloud all the modifiers the game had to quickly teach him which actions are likely and which won't succeed unless he's very lucky
But I guess I should just flat-out deny him move, because
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>>97879197
You try shoulder running in chainmail.
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>>97880123

Fun fact: Sometimes the DC to succeed a skill check is higher than is able to be rolled. Natural 20s are not automatic successes for skill rolls. There isn't a less than 1% chance of success. Sometimes, the chance of an action succeeding is 0%.
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>>97879073
The spaghetti coming out of that Man's pockets when it came to making his stupid character get shot like 3 attacks per turn starting at +28 when we're 6th level, and all sorts of shit cannot be understated.
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>>97880786
>The only system in existence is DnD
Fun fact - you're retarded.
And even if DnD was used, the player is still eligible to roll, even when it's impossible to pass. Just to know if they didn't mess this up even further by rolling 1.
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>>97880786
Then you tell the guy
>"Unfortunately despite your proficiency it is still too challenging for you to pull off"
I mean he read his sheet, saw he was good at sneaking, and then attempted to use his skills. He seems ignorant but not stupid.
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>>97876786
Unfortunately anon, you're the that guy in this instance.
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Friend of mine invited me to a grouo after school. Little homebrew system, not too bad from memory, but he and the GM were tight. Buddy makes an elf necromancer, I rock up as a troll fighter, and then there's a human and a gnome. We all get to the first quest which is this dinky little cave with goblins or bandits or something, I don't remember. When we get ready to ambush them in the central chamber, the necromancer just dips down a side passage. Combat ensues, we get a little beat up, tie up the survivors and go to find the necromancer and kick his teeth in.
Lo and behold, his greed catches up to him, because he tried to open a trapped chest and got caught in a thorn vine snare and was taking damage every few seconds. Me and the gnome laugh at him, take the magic item out of the chest, and leave him to think about what he did, but alas the human saves him.
Cut to camp and buddy's necromancer starts lambasting us for leaving him tied up and injured, we call hin a cunt, and eventually the GM sorta intervenes to guilt us into giving him the item we took. Only for the bastard necromancer to turn around and try to claim a magic sword from the loot solely to sell when me or the human could actually loot it, because he "needs money for components."
Dipped from the game not too long after that, used school as an excuse. Friend was fine outside of games but it made me never want to play with him again.
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>people in this thread unironically think you should be able to Skyrim crouch to go invisible in ttrpgs
I knew everyone on this site was a retarded faggot but I didn't think it was this bad
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>>97882171
>Tells a story where the player properly declares his action in accordance to his sheet
>Only to be denied said action by the GM for no reason
>"Check out this guy, he went full Skyrim!"
And the best part is that you just keep digging yourself deeper with this story with each new detail
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>>97880786
Climbing up behind a guy is not a DC 20 check. It certainly isn’t a DC 25 check that the player could very probably hit with a 20 on the die. It should have been rolled
(Based on the barbarian having 50+ hp we can reasonably assume this is lvl 5~ depending on how the con bonus is, so + 3 proficiency, and if the character is meant to be stealthy a +2 at least from DEX isn’t unreasonable)
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>>97882202
I'm NTA but let me fix that for you
>tells a story where the player wants to do something impossible and retarded
>"you can't do that, it's impossible and retarded"
>"but I can do it in Skyrim!"
>"this isn't Skyrim"
>somehow the GM is the asshole
Literally kill yourself. The world and this hobby would be better without you.
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>>97882171
>people in this thread unironically think you should be able to Skyrim crouch to go invisible in ttrpgs
Normally, it's the dice that resolve such conundrums.
You would know, if you actually played games, rather than inventing stories. To say nothing about the fact there is an entire slate of games - D&D included - which this is an actual mechanic: you turn invisible the moment you succeed a stealth check.
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>>97882242
Why do you think scaling a wall quietly and popping out behind a person is “impossible and retarded”, when it is both possible and reasonable?
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>>97882242
>Things that never were mentioned in the story
>Conversation that wasn't brought tup prior
>Btw, totally different guy!
Like I've said - you just keep digging yourself deeper. Like with this beat:
>player wants to do something impossible and retarded
So you are saying you are playing some powerlessness wank when climbing a wall is an impossible feat? Or one where stealth checks don't exist and you can't sneak on a whim of the party (rather than the GM, which only makes it dumber)?
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>>97882264
>0 reading comprehension
I accept your concession.
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>>97882279
>N-no, you read it wrong!
Consult >>97876786
Then point out where this bit >>97882242 happens or is mentioned.

You dumb twat
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>>97882242
>player wants to climb a wall and sneak on the sentry
>impossible and retarded
I sincerely pity Eric for playing with an entire party of morons. It's always painful watching when you receive damaged goods who had their first time with bunch of complete imbeciles and then it takes a couple of campaigns to un-fuck what was fucked up in d4 sessions.
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>>97882286
>"Part of Me wishes I let him do it"
>meaning OP did not let him do it
>a conversation of "you can't do this for xyz reasons" must've happened
Again, kill yourself or go back to kindergarden to learn to read. Preferably both.
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>>97882242
Look, I get it that you don't play games, but let me walk you through this
>Player 1 wants to do Action A
>Player 2 tells him that's impossible
>GM tells Player 2 to shut the fuck up
>GM asks Player 1 if he's sure, since this is a tough call
>If Player 1 insist, he makes appropriate roll
>If it fails, the action fails, plain and simple
>If it succeeds, Player 1 get what he wanted to do
This is like the most basic situation to handle.
And screeching on a different player "you can't do that' AS A PLAYER is beyond retarded. It's already dumb when GM does it, but it truly takes a clueless never-game to write a story where the party effectively browbeats player and GM does fuck all about it.
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>>97882309
I honestly can't tell if you are baiting desperately, or it's just another showcase of how fucking stupid you are.
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>one autist's story derails the entire thread
Many such cases. The cycle never ends. See you guys for the next one.
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>>97882309
This might shock you, but you are the only person who was at that table during that situation, so it's on you to tell a proper story what happened.
And so far, quite a lot of people told you that either you suck at telling stories, or the party was made out of idiots. You somehow managed to prove both of those to be correct, so congrats: you're a moron and suck at telling stories.
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>>97882309
... so it doesn't happen?
You were saying something about lacking reading comprehension, weren't you?
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>>97882323
Unfortunate how often that keeps happening.
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>>97881206
You have never ever ever seen an actually min-maxed, non-synthesist summoner.
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>>97881206
>>97882411
Addendum, even Reddit knows what's really been up with synthesists for years.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Pathfinder_RPG/comments/30f76m/ive_heard_synthesist_summoners_can_be_extremely/cps2z88/

https://www.reddit.com/r/Pathfinder_RPG/comments/vxxtd7/why_is_the_summoners_archetype_synthesist/
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Half the people in this thread should kill themselves and the other half should learn how to play games. Won't say which is which tho
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>>97882442
>Still seething
>Still trying
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>>97882317
>>97882322
>>97882335
>>97882344
I accept your concessions
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Playing a super hero RPG, and made a character based on Alex Mercer from Prototype. Decide I'm gonna be like a secret villain in a party of heroes who can copy weaker versions of abilities from people and animals I eat, and the GM is cool with that. Team is a Superman knockoff who has a weakness to nuclear energy, a diet Flash, an admittedly cool Magic character who used spells through objects from cursed ground, and then some guy basically playing a Kamen Rider. Somehow my evil scientist turned bioweapon is the only ACTUAL hero in the team by the end as in his act of being a good guy he was doing all the stuff you'd expect. Use his abilities to copy things like bird wings to save cats from trees, or make turtle shell shields to guard civilians from bullets fired during a bank heist.
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>>97882623

Our Superman ended up trying to go full Injustice on the planet after his mom got killed in a bombing, and because of how strong he was he managed to kill the Wizard in one punch. Kamen Rider and Flash sided with him after that, but I ate the wizard to get his magic knowledge. New character was just dust batman, but he lived like one session, and then he made a minmaxed 2nd diet Superman. The guy going full despot was slowly becoming an asshole that guy at the table, so I decided I'd have my Alex Mercer dude go eat a bunch of animals in the Chernobyl exclusion zone to build up a resistance to radiation, and tricked him into fighting me 1v1 at the now abandoned D.C. where I set off a nuke with the help of the good knockoff Superman.

I'm using my powers to keep the badguy from leaving with stuff like tentacles, and Force fields to literally have the two of us SLOWLY COOKING in the edge of the blast radius. His character died, but because of all my radiation resistances I lived just barely with like 10 HP left, but with like 4 detrimental mutations. The motherfuker tried to actually punch me at the table because of this. He got banned from the group afterwards, but that was the first time someone tried actually assaulting me at the table.

Get fucked retard, maybe don't ruin the game for everyone next time.
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>>97882658
That actually sounds really dope if y'all didn't take shit so seriously. That sounds like a fun iron age supes game.
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>>97882763
All in all it was a fun campaign. Diet Alex ended up becoming an actual superhero instead of just pretending to be one after that.

The guy we kicked ended up getting kicked out another group at a game store near us because he power tripped AGAIN in a 40k RPG being ran there, and ended up trying to become a Daemon Prince in party that was all an Inquisitor retinue.
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>>97882442
Post stories from the table dumbass.
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>>97872272
Dragonbane promotional event, 2 weeks ago
>It's a starter module from the starter freebie
>The guy running it can't be arsed to read it
>He can't be arsed to even pretend he wants to be there
>Swears non-stop
>Absolutely zero fucks given, zero preparation for the promo, paging it back and forth whenever needing any info
Like I get it, dude, they pay you by hour the lowest wage, but this is still your fucking job to promote the game, so either do it, or look for different line of employment if handling fucking promotional event is too much for you.
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>>97882791
I wish more people could handle interparty conflict in a not-dick way. Fucking twilight of the superheroes with players on different sides sounds fun as fuck.
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>>97878320
>he does the voice
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>>97883008
I still don't know what the fuck that meant.
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>>97882885
The fact so many superhero RPGs tend to be split between hero and villain players shows that can WORK, but sometimes someone is just unable to keep their asshole sides in check.
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>>97882865
What game is this? Never heard of it before.
>>
I read through some of this shit but I don't wanna bother with it. I'll cut to the worst of the worst with Eric and leave it there.

Eventually we started a viking campaign. We had kicked Eric out way back during the Egyptian one, but brought him back during a pirate game that went until they TPKd and we switched to vikings. As vikings (same with pirates), I had no expectation or rules or anything set up for them to be the "good guys", so a lot of depraved shit was on the table, and we were around 16 at the time.

They heard that people from their village, along with an allied neighbour, would be going raiding in about a week. They got some equipment and made appropriate preparations before leaving. I had set it up such that they'd go through 3 villages with scaling difficulty, the first being the easiest and the last being the hardest.

They cleared the first village easily enough. Preston killed a child and his mother as they fled. The others stole what wasn't nailed down and brought it to their ships. Then Eric tells us he wants to "look for an underage girl".

We cut him off before letting him finish the sentence. He tried to justify himself after we gave him shit for it by saying that he wanted an "underage girl" because she would have more time left to live, and thus, could be kept by his family as a slave for longer. Still, I refused to let that slide. If his intentions were that, he could've said "young woman" or something to that effect, but the wording of "underage girl" threw us all off.

From then on we had a sort of "inside joke" that Eric was a pedophile. Same way you might bust your friend's balls over them having ice cream for breakfast or anal sex. Eric leaned into it a little too much for comfort, but we all wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and shrug it off as just jokes - or at the worst, maybe he was jacking off to lolis or something but would never actually act on it.

1/?
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>>97883309
He never tried it again in our games, and he was variably kicked out and welcomed back every couple months, although admittedly it was never truly fun to play with him because of his general behaviour and obnoxious attitude. He DMed for us once, and I'll give him the credit, he wasn't the worst I'd seen.

Fast forwarding to when we're about 19. We're still ripping on him for that "underage girl" thing, but Eric had, on occasion, pushed the "joking" a little too far even for our edgy autistic teenage standards. Highlights include:

>One (1) instance of Eric straight-faced asking us "If she's 15 but really mature for her age is it okay?", and trying to defend himself when we said absolutely fucking not
>Countless (too many) instances of Eric talking to minors on Snapchat. Granted, at 19, it wasn't totally weird to have a friend who was 16 or 17, but it looked so much worse in hindsight.
>One (1) instance of Eric asking a 15-year old girl over Snapchat if she "would ever date an older guy?"
>One (1) instance of Me, My younger brother, Eric, and a mutual friend of ours who was 15 at the time (unrelated to the above) out for dinner. Initially it was just the guys, but we ran into the friend at the mall and she wanted to hang out with us. Eric initially wanted to sit beside her, but I wouldn't let him, and he spent much of the conversation flirting with/sexually harassing her. Even when I pointed this out, she shrugged it off as him just joking. I refused to give him a ride home after that since I didn't want him in the car with her.

And somehow we still managed to get past all that (yes, we were retarded I know) until one day, the girl from the last highlight sent Me a message and a bunch of screenshots from a groupchat (which Eric was part of) saying that Eric raped a 13 year old girl at a party.

2/3
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>>97883304
It's a DnD-wannabe, except with skills and warrior ducks. Absolutely mediocre, even in its own niche.
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>>97883309
>>97883344
I sure hope you are middle-schoolers. Can't bear a thought of an entire group of morons that's composed entirely of legally adult specimen.
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>>97883358
Abysmal sounding dogshit ngl.
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>>97883344
The nature of the conversation in the screenshots was a bunch of people grilling him over what he had done, him poorly trying to defend himself (among other things, he said "me make oopsie with minor", "this one was a mistake", "me no do again" - verbatim). The evidence didn't look good for him, but I'd say everyone's innocent until proven guilty, and despite everything I never thought he'd truly do something like that. I am willing to acknowledge that I was retarded for expecting better.

I got all those messages while I was at work, so I waited until I was home with My brother and called Eric to ask why I was getting all these messages saying he raped a kid. The very first words out of his mouth were "Before you say anything, I thought she was 17." Eric was 20.

Me and My brother called him out for it and pointed out no, you can't do that, and there was no way I could possibly defend him after that. Me, My brother, and the rest of the guys stopped talking to Eric completely after that (although one of My friends had always hated him anyway on the basis of all his other behaviour). No idea where he is now or what he's doing, but word got around the city fast, and he never had a good reputation anyway. I heard he went to court over it, but I don't know if anything happened. Although the worst of this was outside the table, it still feels like a "table story" to Me in a way because Preston bringing him over was what got us to be friends in the first place.

>>97883368
>are
Not anymore. But yes, we were definitely retarded for not catching the signs sooner. The "underage girl" thing should've been it for us.
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>>97883388
Shit I completely forgot to mention the cherry on top. Eric said he THOUGHT the girl was 17. This was bad enough with him being 20 at the time, but made even worse by the fact the girl was actually 13.

So yeah. That's the story.
>>
I swear I've heard this exact story before.
I like the sudden escalation.
>Can I sneak?
>Lol no
Then
>Why marching order?
Finally
>So this guy raped a 13 year old girl and his defense was "I thought she was 17." He was being a creep for years.
Desu the fact it was an "inside joke" is pretty fucked up.
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>>97883437
There's like 900+ different variations of the exact story said on different threads since the beginning of the board, that's why.
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>>97883344
Oh no
Not the 16 year olds talking about a 15 year old
The fucking humanity

Zoomers like you are broken mentally
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>>97883437
There was much more I could say about him, but as I mentioned, I was skipping to the highlight because of all the shitflinging from earlier.

>He was being a creep for years
>the fact is was an "inside joke" is pretty fucked up
Me and the guys kick ourselves for the fact we didn't catch on sooner. Maybe trying to crouch-turn-invisible-stealth-walk is dumb, but by comparison to us ignoring his signs, we were braindead. There comes a time when the "jokes" are too damn far and Eric crossed that line several times, even for le edgy teenagers.

>>97883508
Universal /tg/ experience apparently.

>>97883559
19. Re-read it.

Anyway here's a cute hamster to wash the piss taste out of My mouth and this thread.
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>>97883388
>>97883412
>i thought she was 17
It is acceptable for a 20 year old to have a relationship with a 17 year old.
In pretty much every state in america (I’d say all of them but I’m not bothering to look) that’s completely fine - most states have AoC at 16/17, and even the ones that have jt at 18 have 5 year “romeo and juliet” laws that mean 16/17 yos can sleep with people within 5 years of their age.
And that’s just america, most countries elsewhere are looser on these kinds of things

The real question is who the fuck let a 13 year old into a party for 20~ year olds
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>>97873384
Oh dios mio.
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>>97883594
>It is acceptable for a 20 year old to have a relationship with a 17 year old.
I disagree, on the basis I think the maturity gap is too wide. I'd say the same about 19/16, 18/15, so on. I think the age of consent being as low as 16 in some places is retarded too.

>The real question is who the fuck let a 13 year old into a party for 20~ year olds
That was something he mentioned in his defense, probably the only thing he had in his favour honestly. Part of Me wishes I could tell you, part of Me is okay with not knowing.
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>>97883594
Blud were talking about rpgs, not age of consent laws, the hell is wrong with you?
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>>97883621
No we aren’t
Read the thread dipshit
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>>97883621
>Blud were talking about rpgs
Here? On /tg/? You must be new.
>>
Alright I got one. It's not like anything bad, but just really bizarre.

> 2014, sophomore year.
> Saturday so no school, and we're playing the 5e starter set with school friends.
> Playing with some old school friends.
> We are taking a break for food since it's hour 4 of the session.
> Friend pulls out half a block of cheese out of his jacket pocket, and just bites into it right as I'm ordering pizza.
> Ask him why he's suddenly just eating a block of pepper jack.
> Dude just looks me in the eyes and says "I didn't know if were gonna break for food, and wanted to make sure I had a snack."

Motherfucker could have at least put it in the fridge, like who just eats pocket cheese?
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>>97883809

I typed that like shit, and fucked up the structure while retyping it all. Just kill me now.
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>>97883809
Just really what now
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>>97883906
Peak autism at its most blatant.
>>
Aight I got one, the thing that made me start vetting possible groups SIGNIFICANTLY more in depth.

> Be me, first session with a group at the local game store.
> Heard they had an opening, so I figured why not?
> Roll up a Human paladin.
> Be not me; Goblin rogue, Tiefling Warlock/Rogue multiclass with some op homebrew archtypes, Kenku Bard, and Dragonborn Sorcerer.
> First session, and the Tiefling Warlock immediately hates my character.
> Player is a woman, and the others don't seem bothered by the Tiefling hating my paladin.
> Watching her for any shenanigans.
> Tiefling player tries to have her Tiefling kill my paladin in his sleep.
> Had to do a full PVP encounter in my Paladin undies, aka no fucking armor, because the party didn't help me at all.
> Get killed because I'm not wearing armor, and hadn't done a full rest to regain my spell slots yet.
> Left the table after that.

I found out later that the group were all doing erp together in some discord server. Whole group just worshiped the only woman in the party. She wasn't even good looking either, she looked like Miss Piggy in a brown wig. Pic is my face as my paladin is getting murdered by some bullshit life drain warlock invocation, and getting free sneak attacks.
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>>97883634
Sometimes, just sometimes, we stay on topic.
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>>97883594
kys eric
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>>97883309
>>97883344
Probably should have LEAD with this one instead of waffling on about a first time players doing dumb first time players shit like not understanding how sneaking works.
>>
>>97872272

> Running Pathfinder with school friends at the lgs.
> 5e tard who's in the drama club wants to join.
> He's friends with one of my players so I BEGRUDGINGLY allow it.
> Try to help him make a character, but he's not listening to anything I say.
> Strike 1: Almost blows a gasket when he sees stat negatives for races.
> Strike 2: makes a Tiefling Magus based on a gypsy. Know IMMEDIATELY what kinda fucker I'm dealing with, but that's only strike 2.
> Session begins, and he's trying to talk about his edgy backstory of being a child sex slave to a human noble, and how he joined the Vistani, yes the fucking gypsies from Ravenloft.
> Ignore it and move on. He's not happy with me ignoring his daddy issues gay devil's backstory.
> his very flamboyantly gay gypsy looking devil boy gets stopped by local guards because he's causing a fight in a tavern to try pickpocketing people.
> Strike 3: my exact wording for the guard captain was "I shoulda known gypsy trash like you were behind this damn riot". Player immediately gets red in face screaming at me for how racist I am for making my guards so discriminatory, and how his 5e DM would have loved his character.
> Tell him to leave if he's gonna have a tantrum at the fucking store, and he throws a die right at my face hitting my eye.
> He gets banned from the store, and left a bad review online for them "supporting racist customers"

I genuinely for the life of me do not understand what Kool aid Tiefling players are all drinking to be this incredibly stupid, I swear they weren't this bad when I played 4e in middle school back in the 2000s and early 2010s.
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>>97881955
Fucker is supposed to be playing an elf, not a greedy ass goblin.
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>>97888292
5e: Not even once.
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>>97883809
My best friend told a similar story.
>friend was hanging out with some larper friends of his
>hang out been going on for a few hours
>one guy reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a taco
>unwraps it and starts eating in
>wtfpikachuface.jpg from everyone there
Thus was born the "pocket taco" meme in the group.
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>>97888292
Of all the stories in this thread that never happened, this one happened the least.
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>>97889985
Weird food stories, and table top just goes hand I guess. I remember one from years ago about a guy who had a fucking cheesesteak in his pockets while their group was taking a food break or something, and getting stuck up by cops when he was playing hide and seek in a dumpster.
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>>97888292
Blud fuck off with fake shit. Post link to review or it never happened.
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>>97876786
So Eric did something a newbie would do, and you shot on him for it? Sounds about right.
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>>97872272
>Playing Only War
>Guy had a profile picture that looking back was probably furry fetish art
>Somehow convinced the GM to let him be a felanid that escaped being a rogue trader's concubine while the rest of us were feral worlders
>He was also a sergeant and took it way too seriously, he was ordering the rest of us on how to play
>>
>>97890296
All too plausible, furries never know when to put their dick away.
>>
What compells a GM to go from "rolled stats only, point buy is for minmaxers" to then 7 levels later enforce point buy to already created on rolled stats characters?
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>>97891181
a false notion of balance
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>>97888292
Then everyone stood up and clapped.
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>>97891233
funny when the monk goes from 27 AC to 23 but the paladin still stays at 32 AC, so now the "balance" is making the already strongest martial in the group even stronger
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>>97883594
>It is acceptable
>>97883612
>I disagree
It's fine if the parents are onboard with it.
That's the obvious line and how it is incredibly easy to spot the creeps and predators.
If they're getting physical before meeting the parents of a young partner, or even getting their actual age, then they are desperate pedo loser creeps by definition.
I'm practically an expert at this subject by now.

I've known a 27 year old who seriously dated a 19 year old. Her parents were wary as fuck until they met him and realized he was just a shy, well educated nerd who'd never touched a girl before. Seriously, she was more socially mature than him.
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>>97872272
I used to run a game with two couples and a friend of guy 2. During game it somehow came out guy 1 was fucking guy 2's wife. Not fully sure how that spilled out as I was in the kitchen getting snacks. I hear a scuffle and yelling, those fuckers are in a knock down drag out iny fucking living room, busting my fucking glaSs top coffee table. I ended up kicking everyone the fuck out and telling the stupid fuckers they owed me a coffee table. But no, there was yelling in my yard. Both men and women calling each other names, the one other guy slowly inched away and left. I had to threaten calling the law to get the fuckers off my yard.

To no surprise that was the last game for that group. No one replaced my coffee table. And I never spoke to three of those folks again.
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>>97872504
>>97873850
If I'm playing a dwarf I WILL be putting on a barely passable Scotch accent
You CANNOT stop me
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>>97872272
Posted this in the 5eg but I'll post it here with more context
>Our PCs formed an Adventuring Party for protection against another Adventuring Party who saw us witness them committing a crime, now they want to silence us via murder
>For this two part session we have to go onto an Island to kill their Paladin
>As we're going through the motions I think to take the Paladins cursed sword which he no longer has on him and give it to my Summoned Clay Construct as a weapon
>Roll an Arcana check to see what the Cursed Sword does. Get told that touching it is a bad idea, even using summons and mage hand won't bypass the curse
>in-character tell this to our Monk who also wants the sword
>We're all in a torture chamber so everyone should hear this
>Later on after we kill the Paladin we loot the chamber but leave the cursed sword
>As we're sailing away on a boat I Dimension Door back for the sword because I believe we could use it to bargain with the hag living in our basement, also it seemed important
>Summon an Undead to push the sword into the boat using another sword, plan on taking a short rest and then using Secret Chest to secure it
>Players freak out because we're on a boat but we're on land now and they can just get out
>Bard wants to use Mage Hand to move the sword out from the middle of the boat
>Tell him not to do that but he does it anyway
>Gets possessed by the Paladin we killed and runs off
>Have to beat our Bard down and get the sword away from him
>Cleric uses Remove Curse on the sword twice so now we can't even use it as a bargaining chip
>My character is now at fault for the Bard's actions and am expected shoulder some of the blame
>Bard wants to shoot me

So the DM later told us that if we left the sword behind someone would have picked it up, possessed by the Paladin who would have come back for us. I also found soul binding chains that were meant to secure the sword but I rolled bad on an Arcana check
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>>97882171
>>97882242
were you like tracking time and running and explicitly mapping the guard’s movement?
if not “I climb and try to sneak past the guard” should be a pretty sufficient declaration for a sneaky character and given rolls with determined difficulty. Honestly even if the former its still sufficient the difficulty just depends on where the guard is.
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>>97892680
The guy with the tale of Eric soured his own rep so hard that nobody even noticed the Eric being a pedophile post lmao
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>>97892879
because the second felt tacked on and likely fake
>>
>guy posts a greentext story and /v/tard jack memes
>everyone swallows the bait.
Jesus wept.
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>>97893172
Hee-fucking-ho bitch!
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>>97883809
>like who just eats pocket cheese?
Do you not?
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>>97892879
Does being tricked by jailbait make you a pedophile or just a retard?
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>>97893172
In this place, the only other content are people bitching about other posters and people itching about politics and ai drama. It’s not surprising that a deathly starved man would eat a rat corpse out of desperation.
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>>97893722
a retarded pedo

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