>>97876122
I let him suck my dick, for the good of the team.

>>97876122
Am I Griffith?

Realistically, if the king asks you're not really in any position to decline. Despite what our modern girlboss mentality makes us think

>>97876122
How hot is he?

>>97876122
Sure. I'll even jerk off the GM on the spot to keep character roleplay going.

>>97876163
Realistically, a medieval-esque feudal king will not be an absolute and unquestionable monarch.

>>97876122
Wouldn't killing royal sperm cells be some form of regicide, though?

>>97876122
Tell the GM to jerk off before the game, not during

>>97876256
Only if the sperm cells are invested with regency over something.

>>97876240
Depends entirely on time and place. Some were. Some were barely even figureheads. Most were somewhere in between. Also depends where you were within the kingdom. Even a figurehead might have had absolute authority in his palace.

>>97876122
This is why we have a bard, just let her handle it.

>>97876122
What game are you talking about?

>>97879305
Depraved sexual content, so obviously fatal.

>>97876122
I tell the dm they aren't allowed to dm anymore then not so politely ask him to leave.

>>97876122
What does this have to do with dungeon crawling?

>>97876256
"Countless royal heirs perished by my hand! (the king made me jerk him off)"

>>97876122
Ask the court if this is usual conduct for this king.
If it is, and he regularly bangs in exchange for wealth, and the people accept this behavior from their ruler, then when in rome.
If it is not, or it is usual but the people are unhappy with it, then it's a bad idea to give such a malign preposition to the extremely powerful outlander who is more than capable of overthrowing you. I was trading for those supplies to be humane. If you're not being humane back, I could always have taken them. That was always within my power.

>>97876122
>Wild Shape into wolf form

Well? Bend over.

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>>97876122
Rules of the King's Road.

>>97876122
I wildshape into a female goat and present my rump

>>97876122
report him to the inquisition for being a homo.

>>97876240
We literally have France as example with kings fucking their vassals wives

>>97879387
>What does this have to do with dungeon crawling?
Rectal navigation is synonymous with dungeon crawling

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>>97876122
I'm not sure why it's important to the king for people to have sex with his wife while he watches from a closet, but I guess we're not in any position to complain.

>>97882170
Nope.

>>97876122
Is he Jadwiga of Poland? if not, I decline the supplies and find another supplier

>>97880823
what movie

>>97876163
>girlboss mentality
wait what? the party is all men...

>>97886023
He's incel who wanted to imply that stories where girl refuses advances of powerful man is modern thing

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>>97876122
I guess it can't be helped...

>king
my anarchist paladin slays him on the spot

>>97885764
>what movie
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

>"I'm an actor which means it's my job to tell the lie that tells the truth. In order to do that, I need as much emotional honesty and data as possible. I need to hold up or suspend the window of disbelief so that your audience could crawl into your magical world. So I don't ask you these questions to be an unctuous actor who demands attention. I simply need to know how deeply you want me to throat this guy."
- George Carlin

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>>97876122
>Be (playing) LE 'Naughty Nun' Cleric.
>Eh fuck it.
>Have loud, noisy sex with the King, with a lot of wailing.
>Use this as blackmail to gain further supplies as I am sworn to a vow of chastity.
>Given that I cannot consent to lay with men due to my binding compact with god, that makes what the King did have to be rape.
>Moreover, atop it publicly breaking his marital vows, it is rape of a holy woman, both a protected member of the church, and a woman 'married' to god and to the faith, which is enough to set the Church VERY much against him, his family, and his Kingdom itself, if it ever came out.
>Proceed to squeeze the guy for absolutely everything I can. Mostly valuables, property, and the like. Magic weapons, armour, magical items, horses, deeds to a castle somewhere? Titles from him won't matter.
>Send a letter to the Holy Sea anyways after a couple of days, and our departure from the city, detailing that 'King Whatshisname raped me on this date, through use of force and blackmail and attempted to keep me from telling you by buying me out with trinkets and jewels and worldly goods. Servants and guards who were nearby could hear and attest to my plight'
>Continue having him under my thumb for a couple of months until the letter arrives, Papacy forces can muster and he loses all his good standing with the Church, god, neighboring nations, and the people of his own as he's known as 'the King who rapes Nuns and probably eats babies and prays downwards to the underworld'.
>Proceed to go to the next city over, dress up like a bar wench, and get laid.

Problem Royals?

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>>97876122
>The sexual gratification is for his horse

>>97889551
>>97880944
>>97880512
It's weird how bestiality has been suggested three times in thirty posts.

>>97889543
>>Send a letter to the Holy Sea
Holy See?

>>97889543
>the king tells says the pope is a lying cunt
>the church doesn’t like that and tells the king to fuck off
>the king makes his own church with blackjack and hookers
>neighboring nations support the church on paper but many secretly support the king as the influence of the church over their nations has long been a thorn in the sides of royalty
>papacy sends troops to put down this new heretic church
>the king and his allies respond in kind
>shit escalates and the continent is split between papal loyalists and protesta- I mean royalists
Congratulations, you started a holy war.

>>97876122
I tend to get pissed off at DMs who like to add personal fetish bullshit like this into a game and then guarantee that dumb autistic fuck is not joining any future session again.

>>97890424
No, the Vatican equivalent is in an Atlantis situation and the pope is a fish person.

>>97890514
That only raises more ecumenical questions. Is whole sea made of holy water? How do you send a letter to pope underwater?

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>>97876122
As a female player, I sow discord not just by agreeing, but clearly enjoying the sexual encounter. I also look for a repeat in the future, which should make the other players jealous as fuck since it makes them feel inadequate.

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>>97876122
As a female player, I sow discord by eagerly agreeing to fuck the King. I intend to become his mistress.
As the rest of the party is mostly guys, I hope that this will play on their insecurities, especially when I state how much I enjoy the King's virility, wealth and how proximity to such power gets me horny.

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>>97876122
>king points to me
>beckons me to follow him up to chambers
>takes me to nice room with frilly decorations with dolls and shit
>see woman in cutesy dress in the corner of room sitting at table sipping tea with dolls and one servant dresses as a jester
>look to king
>he pulls me aside
>that is my daughter, you need to put an heir in her
>wat.parchment
>look i will level with you she is mentally incapable of running the kingdom and if i don’t let her inherit my faggot cousin gets the throne and he is an asshole
>so just put a kid in her and then i can make whatever she pops out my heir
>u serious?
>yes, this way i get what i want and you get what you want
>i mean isn’t she a little yo-
>she is twenty four
>*looks to her pouring tea for stuffed rabbit then back to king*
>i may have coddled her too much after her mother’s death
>but did you have to say all that shit about sexual gratification?
>i would rather people think I am a pervert than them find out i asked an adventurer to fuck my daughter to secure myself an heir
>…
>look if you do this i will not only give you the supplies but also provide you with a magical object, and if you succeed i will make you a duke and give you land
>*sigh* fine
>hey pri-
>what are you doing?!
>what do you mean i am going to fuck your daughter like you asked
>you can’t just walk up to her you have to be chivalrous
>areyouforreal.flute
>fine
>good luck, adventurer
>yeah whatever

>>97876122
I dont know whats more stupid.

Asking for sexual services instead of gold which you could put into several other projects, or letting a massive barbarian caked in both tattoos of Bhaal symbols and blood into your castle.

Either way Bhaal's going to be a happy dude when some more blood comes in

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>>97897300
Why not? Imagine getting to fuck a high-level adventuress, it's the biggest power fantasy ever. Whenever, I dunno, fucking Shanoa von Einzfast or whatever is getting the keys to the city and men are talking about how she's the strongest Holy Knight of all time, you can sit back fat and self-satisfied and go:
>"She was my bitch, you know."
>"I put my cock in that."
She will never, ever forget that. No-one will. Even when her name is entered on the Roll of Honor as the greatest female of all time, it will always be a memorable moment that King Fat Fuck came deep inside her.
It's even better if you knocked her up and she had to raise your child because it would be dishonorable to abort it.
You passed on your bloodline to the most beautiful, capable woman out there and now she has to deal with it for the rest of her life.

>>97890492
>King now not only has to deal with the animosity of the church, and the people of his and neighboring kingdoms who get their information from the church priests as is common.
>Now he has to fight an actual war against the church, and church aligned neighbors, and religious rebels.

Where is the problem? The letter to the Papacy was just to make sure he can't retaliate for my period of blackmailing him by blackmailing/threatening/killing me, because it's all public and he's too busy dealing with the fallout.
He's just made himself even more busy and resource-desperate, while my pc, along with the party, is long gone.

>>97897429
Except the question posed is you or well your character and I only play as dudes. Now I do understand the appeal of fucking an extremely competent powerful adventuress so I can commend King Fat Fuck on his taste.