Thread #737149390
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Death Stranding 2: On the Beach is not a video game. It's Kojima's $100 million excuse to hang out with Hollywood celebrities while you hold the left stick forward for 40 hours. Almost every location has a flat path straight to it. You can make any delivery by holding forward or driving a truck. Congratulations, you just experienced "gameplay." The game throws numerous tools at you that you absolutely never need. It's like being handed a Swiss Army knife to eat soup — the equivalent of playing Doom where enemies fall down without you ever pulling the trigger.
But the crown jewel — the absolute proof Kojima doesn't make games — is the "Pretend You Won" button. Die to a boss and the game literally asks if you want to skip it. Pick it and you get a SLIDESHOW of how the fight would have played out. The results screen reads "Imaginary Victory" with a drawing of Sam sleeping. Even the protagonist doesn't care. No game should let you skip core combat. That's not accessibility — that's a confession. That's Kojima saying "gameplay doesn't matter, just watch my movie." The single greatest evidence he's NOT a game developer — just a film director accidentally given a dev kit instead of a camera.
Did this cinematic walking screensaver win GOTY? NO. Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 — an actual VIDEO GAME with actual GAMEPLAY — bodied Kojima's celebrity meet-and-greet simulator at The Game Awards, Golden Joysticks, DICE, and GDC, racking up 291 GOTY wins in 2025.
But don't worry — his own game taught us the solution. He can just Pretend He Won. Skip the awards, read a little slideshow that says "Kojima won GOTY" with a picture of him sleeping. Imaginary Victory. Kojima — put down the controller. Pick up the camera. Stick to making movies. You clearly want to. You were never one of us.
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didn't read all that but true
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>>737149390
who were the tard wranglers kojimbo had in konami
I miss em
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>Episode 11: Quake
>Episode 12: Fragile
>Episode 13: INSTANT KINO
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>>737151659
Ds2 isn't a bad game, but it ain't a masterpiece, it's a literal walking simulator and 90% of the game can be completed with the fucking 4x4 truck once you get it, literally the only place where you can't use it is in the Australian part of the portal since that's EV central.
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The ghost monorail spooks me every god damn time man. It drops in so rarely i'm never prepared.
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>even bait OP isn't enough to keep a DS2 thread alive
It's so over
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I just finished it. I loved the first game and would consider Death Stranding one of my favourite games. While the gameplay in 2 is better, I can't help but feel that the story is derivative and kinda disappointing overall. What did you anons like about it? What did you not like? What would you have changed?
Obviously big fucking spoilers don't look if you haven't finished it.Neil Vana is a letdown, he's just an inferior Cliff Unger.I know Sam is depressed as fuck during the story but it still sucks we barely get to hear what he thinks about what's going on, and we don't even see him interact with the crew that much, especially Tomorrow. Sam's reaction to the Tomorrow reveal at the end is just a bland "Yeah" and then the credits roll.I suspected Fragile was dead or something similar when she had that speech with Sam in his room. In the ending Sam finds a new love in Fragile and then she fucking dies unceremoniously and nobody but Sam really even reacts to it. He is robbed of raising his daughter and having a peaceful life as a Father. But at least he gave Mexico and Australia an internet connection.The plot relies a lot on convenience, was it just by pure miraculous chance the BB pod given to Sam in the first game is his own daughter somehow?I know it's a Kojima game but there's still a lot of fourth wall breaks and other silly shit in there just to make a joke during a serious story moment.
There's probably more bullshit but I'm tired and don't feel like rambling on, I dunno if any of this is coherent or relatable. And despite all of that, I enjoyed my time with it. Just not as much as the first narrative-wise.
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>>737156681
Just saying the fourth wall breaks are each so tasteful, i truly enjoyed the high class corn of them.
>Sam i don't want to alarm you but there might be a long cutscene happening in the near future so be prepared for that
Why the fuck not? Thanks Dollman.
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>>737157006
To be honest I actually did like that one and it got a laugh out of me, considering the length of the ending scenes in the first game and MGS4.In particular it was an eye roller when Higgs gets fucking vored by a giant Lou and then the baby gives a fucking thumbs up, it's so stupid it's funny.
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>>737153767
>that faggot steals my backpak for the third time
>watch him wad through snow like a retard
>electrocute him to death
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