What is it outlander. Make it quick.

Any news from the other boards?

I'M GOING TO SAY THE S-WORD

>>3885760
all redguards must hang

NO

>>3885760
>Have Khajiit wife
>Ready to have children
>Wrong moon phase
>wife births a fucking house cat

>>3885805
Be honest, anon. Be honest. Are you upset because you can't fuck your child?

>>3885760
N

>>3885810
That is our culture, friend. Does your race not engage in incest as well?

>>3885760
the alessian order was founded by a whore prove me wrong

>>3885760
Hlaalu guards came into my house to fine me for writing about outlanders again

>>3885827
'

>>3885937
W

>>3885938
A

>>3885940
H

I had to call into work today. Took an arrow to me knee, y'see.

Have you heard the news? They say it's going to be in Hammerfell.

>>3885760
I AM HIGH AS A ROCK
HEHEHEHEHE

Anyone wanna buy some Skooma?

>>3886076
That doesn't sound legal..

GAS THE ELVES
RACE WAR NOW

File: 1751222658454647.jpg (14.0 KB)

I look aldmeris as fuck
Auridon alinor ancestry

File: 1000002407.jpg (107.5 KB)

>>3885805
>Khajiit wife
Khajiit cannot be married as marriage is between two people and last I checked Khajiit are not people but rather property.

>>3886080
>legal
There is a loophole. Simply drink the skooma the moment you purchase it. That way guards never catch you carrying it

>>3885760
>just rp with me bro
>It won't be gay at all

>>3886597
Let me give you some friendly advice. OP is crazy. Maybe harmless crazy, maybe not. Don't get involved with him. If he asks you to do anything... strange... you come see me first, got it? Or any of the board's anons. Let us handle it.

>>3886597
>see roleplaying thread on the roleplaying video games board
>immediately think of homos
this can't be good for you

ARGONIAN LIVES MATTER
WE DEMAND REPERATIONS

>>3886643
Nobody is saying Argonians don't matter. The question is how much do lizards matter?

Saw an Imperial in the mead hall today and he asks me "can a Nord borrow a sweetroll?" and my first thought wasn't by the Nine he said the word the N word it was now how is a Nord gonna borrow a Sweetroll? Nord are you gonna give it back?

Bosmer; do we need 'em?

>>3887032
"Need" is a strong word..

>>3885827
>>3885937
>>3885938
>>3885940
>>3885944
We did it Black Horse Courier’s Public Posting Boards!

8, not 9

Fucks-Many-Bitches here. Just beheaded a dungmer. Horny as fuck.

>>3887930
By the nines! Assault! ASSAULT!

>>3887930
BASED

>mom found my copy of the lusty argonian maid
what do i do now

>>3889160
blackmail her back, tell her you know about her illuminated copy of the Boethia's pillow book

>>3889160
Show her your spear

>>3889317
We don't have those up north

>>3885760
FUCKING N'WAHS GET OF MY BOARD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

N'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAH

Dunmer refugees:
>we dindu nuffin why you racis
Dunmer in morrowind:
>N'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAHN'WAH

>>3889370
>you elves come to our land and refuse to assimilate, retaining your separate identity and supporting your foreign races interests above our own, which is why you refuse to help us in our war
>but we haven’t joined your war because it’s not our fight!
Wow what a fucking rebuttal, bitch. You just quoted their own argument back at them.

>>3889370
You should have been born the superior breed if you didn't want to be an n'wah. You're lucky we Telvanni have better things to do than going around killing and violating you slave breeds into subservience.

>>3889389
bro the Telvanni went woke 200 years ago when they made that argonian the archmagister, some people say it was the nerevarine but I think that's just people confusing hortator with archmagister
it's not all that surprising honestly after they let that feminazi and imperial simp into the magisters

Dude I FUCKING LOVE grave robbing!

File: images(4).jpg (28.8 KB)

>>3885760
>Hark, citizens of the North, people of Skyrim, and every free soul dwelling in the light of the Aedra! Lend me your ears and open your hearts to the solemn decree, the sacred truth, proclaimed by King >Harald, High King of the Nords, true son of the frost and shield of the righteous!"
"By ancient oath and the untarnished dawn of creation, the King declares: The hour of decision is upon us! The creeping shadow of encroaching Darkness—a blight upon the land, a poison in the soul—demands a unified front. We shall no longer stand as isolated sparks of hope, vulnerable and cold. The time for division, for petty squabble, is over!"
>"Look about you! Who conjures the Daedra? Who opens the foul Oblivion Gates that spew forth the fires of damnation upon our fields and our families? It is the perfidious High Elves! >The Altmer cabal, with their silver tongues and black hearts, plot our ruin from their glittering towers!"
>"The holy call rings forth across the Nine Holds: Unite, Bretons of the West, with Nords of the East! Stand as one, Imperials of the South, with the sturdy sons of Skyrim! This alliance is forged in the purifying fire of necessity—a blazing crusade for the Greater Good, a sword of pure light destined to strike down the elven menace that threatens to consume the world entire!"
>"Heed the King's will! Prepare your arms, steel your resolve, and purify your purpose! We march not to conquer mere lands, but to eradicate the source of all evil! Blessings await the loyal; damnation awaits those who dither in the shadow of neutrality. For Light! For Justice! For the Unified Alliance! The darkness must be purged! Ave! Ave Veritas! Ave Skyrim!"

>>3889418
To ravage, to slaughter, to usurp under false titles, they call empire; and where they make a desert, they call it peace.

>>3889402
DO NOT INSULT OUR HERO THE NEREVARINE! He may have been reborn into a farming implement but he was a hero to our people all the same, and he had true Telvanni ethics. If he wasn't the Nerevarine he would have been defeated by our sorcerers. One day Telvanni while rise again, but until then I will shitpost and call you mutts what you are. N'wahs need not reply.

>>3885760
Total Dunmer death

File: crassius curio.jpg (14.6 KB)

Guys, who do you think is in the Curio files? Will the Blades ever release them?

>>3889449
The high elves do NOT control Imperial politicians. This is an anti-Aldmeri trope, and a baseless conspiracy theory.

>>3889451
>Elvish fingers scribed this missive

>>3885760
>tamriel internet
It's called the dreamsleeve you lorelet. It's samsara but also functions as the internet.

>>3889449
Uh, the guy releases all the files himself. With each book release.

>>3889418
>account based in summerset

>>3885991
I bet you can’t jump from Bruma to Bravil

File: Rapecraft master trainer.png (2.1 MB)

>>3889449
CRASSIUS CURIO DID NOT KILL HIMSELF IN THE LATE 3RD ERA! This was a House Hlaalu trick. He is still alive on living in a massive castle on an island in the Illiac Bay continuing his dangerously debaucherous dark rituals. He needs to be exposed and eliminated in the interest of honor, serving justice to the wicked

>>3889451
What a dumb thing to say

>>3890697
Incorrect. Curio's popular mainstream books are freely available for trade/barter in most book stores in all Provinces. But what most Tamrielians do not know is Curio also has published a great many forbidden books as well that are quite hard to procure. These "unholy" books detail vile sexual acts so fucking foul & terrifying to the point they would make even the Daedra themselves go blind blushing with overwhelming shame. Copies are only available from the most experienced of fences lurking within the blackest of markets and command exorbitant prices

>>3886100
kys bosmutt

>>3889451
Pelinal Whitestrake did nothing wrong

>>3891090
>Pelinal Whitestrake did nothing wrong
It didn't happen, but it should have, and they deserved it.

>>3891090
there's still elves around so he clearly did something wrong

>>3885760
N'wah stole my silt strider

>>3885760
I stole some racist's big bug like two hours ago and I felt incredible doing it. I think I'm going to keep stealing, maybe one day Lady Nocturnal will notice me.

varr varr varr

Sup my N'Wahs

File: Akaviri samurai.png (1.9 MB)

>>3885760
Love from Akavir!

Stop being anti-Meritic

>>3892012
I always thought you pronounce it like "nwah" and not "enwah"
the later sound really lame

>>3895053
Just pretend there are two different pronunciations

File: Vivec stares into your soul.jpg (203.9 KB)

>>3895055
No! Lord Vivec shall have your head on his spear if you dare pronounce N'wah wrong!

>>3895053
>"nwah"
Didn’t play Morrowind
>“enwah"
Played Morrowind
Quite simple, really

File: Thank you Todd.png (2.8 MB)

>Be me
>Age 37 Imperial
>Born in beautiful hamlet 45 clicks east of Imperial City on a beautiful Hearthfire afternoon in 4E164 to 2 awesome parents
>always treated like an unexpected blessing since age 3. told I'll probably grow up to be a prodigy who'll one day change Tamriel forever becoming the one of the wealthiest men on Nirn
>always knew I was special. different from other children, Doom-Driven
>Immigrate to Skyrim about 14 years ago around Hearthfire 4E201 around age 21
>Within 72 hours of moving to Skyrim I'm told by their mightiest Yarl I'm their Prophecised Hero here to fullfill my Destiny by saving Tamriel
>Based
>Now when Peasants give me even the slightest bit of attitude I can politely stfu them in 4 simple words whenever I choose
>I say "I am the Dragonborn" they always immediately kneel in respect, apologizing begging for my favor
>Brilliant!
>1 year after moving to Skyrim I'm named Loremaster of Winterhold
>Nice
>Was raised in a somewhat agnostic household by 4th Era Imperial standards
>Growing up always told pride myself on being a faithful servant of the Nine, but never forget the Nine may very possibly just be a fairy tale. Nobody truly knows..
>1672 days ago I renounce the Nine
>For years I now worship Clavicus Vile exclusively
>Ask anybody who knows me, they'll all tell you
>"I never met a man more obsessed with Daedra Worship than anon, I doubt any man ever born loves his God as much as he!"
>Finally find right words/proper environment to strike another Pact with my beloved dark Lord
>our agreement was a success for all parties
I just won the game nigger I can mod irl now. CHIM.. An even higher level!! Whenever I wish I can have 4 beautiful cockhungry wives fighting over me, 16 even hornier daughters doing the same, whilst carefully guarding all muh grAND new playerhomes and shit! perhaps i'll give Maven Blackbriar humiliating walk of shame; giving away ALL her gold whilst proudly shitting in her royal diapers in central Riften! DOUBLE based!!

>>3886643
Kha'jit has wares if you hav..hey this 20 septim coin is a forgery! Guards!

>>3896000
How can you be the Dragonborn if I'm the Dragonborn? And an N'wah at that? Doesn't make sense to me. Fucking Imperials and their delusions.

File: Cute Dunmer couple.png (784.5 KB)

>>3896105
First of all I'm not racist, elf. Morepver to answer your question sir I have been warping the timelines lately. I invented a new shout that causes a DRAGONBREAK every time I spam it. The 3 word version even invents a brand new Last Dragon Born of a random race and gender in fact. That is why you exist, comrade. think of yourself as my alter ego

>>3896387
Stupid N'wah, I have enough racism for the both of us across all timelines. I wish I had met Dagoth Ur back when he was still alive. He would have known what to do about this.

File: Delicous Dunmer Daedrawhorshipper.png (1020.7 KB)

>>3896466
>wah waah enough with the racism outlander!!
The only racist here is you. Like most Imperials I love Dunmer women and I even happen to think your People's culture is quite fascinating for your information

>>3885760
Reminder that Talos was a Breton

>>3896000
>>3896105
Either of you guys, the Dragonborn? I'm just guy who works at a meadery, but from the sounds of it you two have both had too much to drink. Grab a Honningbrew with the lads. If you drink Black-Briar go kill yourself.

File: Maven VS the thane.png (1.4 MB)

>>3899145
Yes. I am the Dragonborn. Yes I drink alcohol and yes I eat moonsugar approximately 5 or 6 days each week, practically a teetotaler by Riften standards. Why do you ask?

>Grab a Honningbrew with the lads
Wholesome idea

>If you drink Black-Briar go kill yourself
What if I drink Black-Briar mead I loot off Maven Black-Briar's corpse? That way she's at least not profiting off my alcohol habit in any way

There's enough backbone in the lore to make games in every era. 2920 could be five games. These dipshits wasted so much potential.

I purchase the cheapest mead available. As an impoverished alcoholic I can do nothing else.

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Anyone else feel bad with their farm tools when they get older these days?, like we brought this lizard few decades back, thought nothing about it, she worked the fields, did the cooking and never once caused a issue or tried to escape and yet she grew onto us like a another member of the family, well more like a special pet that some humans do with dogs and cats, actual cats not those mangy skooma n'wahs

Now she getting older, showing signs of health issues and I'm afraid we might need to put her down if it gets worse, I don't wanna do it, what should I do?

File: Argonian stacey.jpg (957.3 KB)

>>3899757
>showing signs of health issues
Alchemy, brother. Why not just give her some potent health potions to drink?

>like a special pet that some humans do with dogs and cats
Do Morrowinders really not own Dogs and cats? What the fuck is wrong with your province?

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>>3899845
>Alchemy

We have been giving her potions but it seems like it only delaying the inevitable but I wanna get help with a mage but my father hates magic as much as a Nord after he got scammed by a telvanni wizard over a 100 years and he still hasn't forgive them so it's a pain

>wrong with your province

There are dogs here, the Cyrodilics brought them when they came but the issue is our local fauna is aggressive as hell, they fucking kills anything they see, have you seen Cliff racers? they scary dangerous flying creatures, 1 in 10 children get killed by those fuckers every year on Vvardenfell, so a mere housecat or a dog can't do anything than hope for a quick death

>100 word essay on the lessons of vivec due tomorrow
I fucking hate these Tribunal sponsored schools.

>>3900033
You should burn down your school then. You're Telvanni enough to understand might makes right aren't you?

FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA
MORROWIND WILL BE FREE

Seen any elves?

I wonder what the Tamrielic version of "cope, seethe, dilate" is?

>>3900191
ALMSIVI

why are Redoran so poor and smelly?

File: Skyrim STDs.jpg (101.7 KB)

>>3899857
>We have been giving her potions but it seems like it only delaying the inevitable
Perhaps she caught a disease. Mix hawk feathers, a charred skeever hide and a sabre cat's eyeball, this will craft up a useful potion that restores both stamina and health as well as curing almost all known diseases on Tamriel. Also make sure you use the best apparatus available. A master's mortal&pestal, a master's alembic, a master's retort and a master's calcinator should get the job done properly

>have you seen Cliff racers?
I have. Good point, thanks for the reminder not to bring my Dogs to Morrowind

>>3885800
total redguard death

File: file.png (73.3 KB)

Guys I was fishing around Azura's Coast and I found a talking Mudcrab. It scared the s'wit out of me, but he seems alright. Tried to hawk some goods, but can I trust him?
What if this is some Dreugh trick???

File: file.png (401.9 KB)

>>3885810

Reminder that the whole Man vs Mer rivalry is just a coverup for Breton and Altmer to fight. Bretons control imperial politics. Look it up

>>3900678
>t. tsaesci

File: 1754350191399214.jpg (50.6 KB)

>>3885991
Greenmote got a n'wah high so it's High Rock when I'm cookin'

>Morrowind chuds keep referring to beast races as "farming equipment"
>Hates on Curio for writing pure gold
By the Nine, these dungmer would rather do incest than admit cat and lizard pussy is superior.

>>3885760
.

>>3885760
the outlander came to the apothecary I work at again and tried to sell my 37 daedra hearts. the fuck is wrong with this n'wah

>>3887032
I need their women

I notice a disproportionate percentage of what I can only assume to be Dunmer saying n'wah in this thread. Curious.

Why are Nords so bent out of shape? They're just like the Aldmeri. I'm a Colovian Nordic descent from Chorrol and I've spent enough time in the Imperial City to think past this 8, 9 Divines thing or whatever. Just worship whoever you want man, nobody knows whose really right.
I think we should have fewer wars and more bards and wineries. Everybody should walk their own path. Like the Stendar Vigilant thing is wrong. Worshipping Stendar is good and all, but who are you to judge someone worshipping Azura.
When people ask me who I follow I just say Kyne is for me but I'm open to talk rationally with any mortal or god about what they believe and why.
Stormcloaks are basically incel neckbeards who don't even really understand the history of Ysmir worship before Tiber Septim.


You know Argonian culture has this entire thing with sleeping tree shamanism? It's really crazy shit. It would be an honor to visit and observe a hist ritual, but I wouldn't want to claim their culture.

>>3885760
got robbed by a dirty khajiit the other day, if anyone sees an ebony longsword for sale let me know

>>3885760
Rent cost in Skyrim tripled the last 5 years.
Thinking of moving to Summerset.

>>3902842
>I think we should have fewer wars and more bards and wineries
But the bards can't write for shit without a decent war to "inspire" them. Agree on the wineries though

OOOOOH
THERE ONCE WAS A CUMRAG NAMED OP THE FAG
WHO CAME RIDING HIS OWN MOM FROM DAWNSTAR TILL RORIKSTEAD...

If a vampire bites you in the ass do you still turn into a vampire too or does it have to be in the neck

>>3902924
>Agree on the wineries though
Fuck no. Ayleids didn't go hard enough on you cyrodillic cunts. Either learn to drink real beverages like Sujamma or burn down Skingrad to the ground. Untill then, fuck off.

Altmer girls lust for Orc dick

>>3903450
>Elven girls lust for Elven dicks
... and other "water is water" tier observations. Why do you guys bitch at orcs but never at the beast races? Like, when 2 identical races come together, it's a no-no! But when somebody wants to fuck a cat or a crocodile, everyone's a-okay! Hypocrites...

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>>3903457
I see nothing wrong with loving with the beast races as long you are on top, to remind them their place on the totem pole in Tamriel

Men
Elves
Beasts

That how it goes, sure sure the high elves and dark elves love to bitch how they are the superior with their magic and pointy ears for flicking but one is stuck in a region where everyone is breathing volcano ash and now suffer from lung cancer and the other are all inbred morons, they should be more like the wood elves who know their place in this world, when was the last time you ever seen of heard a wood elf bragging of being superior other than archery?, never that's why

Anyways where was I?, ah yes the beast races, you see milk drinker, here in Skyrim having a Khajiit for a mate is only acceptable in the more frozen parts of Skyrim for hugging something fluffy and furry brings warmth in the bed and for Argonians, well let say holding onto their tail and sometime horns are better to grip and yank is better than hair as you won't end up with a axe in your chest and let me tell you from experience pulling the hair of a female Nord is like flicking the balls of a sleeping cave bear and folk like to say Orcs are the most aggressive race on Tamriel

>>3903472
>here in Skyrim having a Khajiit for a mate is only acceptable in the more frozen parts of Skyrim for hugging something fluffy and furry brings warmth in the bed
... how much of a bitch does a Nord have to be to be like this?! You fuckers are literally resistant to cold!

>when was the last time you ever seen of heard a wood elf bragging of being superior other than archery?
Yesterday, when my neighbor shot some random Imperial for breakfast. That's the thing with you, non-mers - you see a childish exterior licking you ass, you lower your guard, assume that you'll you rape it later and get your ass cooked on a grill in turn. Kinda the reason why I'm moving to Anvil next year - not only are Bosmer insufferable among ourselves, their food is ass. LITERALLY!

>pulling the hair of a female Nord is like flicking the balls of a sleeping cave bear and folk like to say Orcs are the most aggressive race on Tamriel
Dunno, we used to just spike their drinks and shit. Bone meat and rat meat works wonders I tell you, but since we don't fuck our food (usually), I couldn't tell how long that would last for.

saw one of those intelligent quadruped khajiit mount saber cat the other day
is this beastiality?

>>3903504
No, it's a sexual assault on a mentally disabled. Report it to local caravan authorities.

They say that the Imperial legion captured a khajiit moon sugar smuggler who stepped out of line. He arrived in the Imperial City prison last night.

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>>3903493
>You fuckers are literally resistant to cold!

There a difference being resistant to the cold shivering winds and breezing snow compare to standing out in the middle of a blizzard without a shirt on besides I heard a lot about how you dark elves are resistant to fire yet how come you still get set ablaze and charred to a crisp, I how about I go find you and throw you into a forge's fire and we will see

>Yesterday, when my neighbor shot some random Imperial for breakfast

All I gather from that is that wood elf is a cannibal and a murderer, clearly a follower of Namira and should be put to the sword and secondly the amount of times you mentioned ass, you must be a ass eater as well, typical elf

File: 1747820262099242.jpg (43.7 KB)

cat
>I'm a kitty cat
and i meow meow meow
>and i meow meow meow
cat
>I'm a kitty cat
and I dance dance dance
>and I dance dance dance

File: IMG_1499.gif (460.2 KB)

>>3885760
THE THALMOR CONTROL ALL SIDES OF THE POLITICAL SPECTRUM FUCK THIKES FUCK THIKES FUCK THIKES!!!!

>>3905332
Not funny, always someone who ruins it…sigh…it’s getting tough.

>>3905332
The Thalmor want to destroy reality so they can leave it. So surely wiping them all out would actually help them achieve their dream of dying.
You don't want to help the evil Thalmor, do you? If you kill them, they win.

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>>3905334
This one hopes Pelinal comes back and finishes the job
(no targeting khajiit this time, that was honest mistake on his part)

>>3905332
Report his ass goyim

File: general-tullius.jpg (151.9 KB)

PLEASE STOP THREATENING TO FORM YOUR OWN MILITIAS AND SECESSIONIST MOVEMENTS IN JARL GROUPS CHAT. WE MUST MAINTAIN ORDER. NO WE ARE NOT AT WAR WITH EVERYONE ANYMORE. STOP POSTING THAT IN WINDHELM. THE ELVES ARE FINE. LEAVE THE ELVES ALONE. EVERYONE RELAX. BEHAVE. YOU ARE FEAR MONGERING. DO NOT MAKE ME TELL YOU AGAIN!!! ANYONE WHO IMPEDES THE MOVEMENT OF AN IMPERIAL LEGION PATROL IN THIS PROVINCE WILL BE PUT DOWN!!!

File: elves.jpg (12.3 KB)

>>3905334
No goldies allowed on my 4chan.

>>3902760
Imperial raised "dark elves" appropriating true Dunmer culture.

Where is that slave? Here not long ago.

>>3905337
Khajiit are just furry Bosmer .

>>3885760
skyrim belongs to the nords. -posted from morrowind

>>3907154
You like to live close to the fire, don’t you?

>*shotguns a Fortify Carry Weight Potion*
DESPITE-

>>3907187
What in Oblivion is a shotgun? Is this some new N'wah speak?

>>3899757
You might want to buy yourself a bull lizard and get her bred. I can loan you mine. Hes only 3 decades old and is incredibly strong. We keep him shackled to prevent his escape of course. Dont let the off spring have access to any hist sap though. This will keep him autistic and unable to communicate with other farm tools

>>3901634
Cat is too hairy and they talk too much. Lizard is too cold and rough. You wouldnt fuck your rake would you?

>>3907595
>You wouldnt fuck your rake would you?
Yeah....
I'm just going to flag that under 'things I would never admit to'...

>>3885760
so get this
I was walking in the imperial city looking for a gift for my wife, I forgot about our anniversary and it was getting dark
placed my hand right on the door handle of the shop when I heard strange grinding noise behind me, right on the walkway beside me sewer lid started to move
few moments later a lanky tall figure emerged, clad in dark garments, skin so yellow you would think it was Almalexia herself but no
as he rose beside me, he angled his vulture like nose in 45 degree angle and looked at me for 5 seconds before pushing past me
"move along CITIZEN, this doesn't concern you" he said in authoritative voice before running away
next day saw guards emerging from the same sewer canal with dirty mattresses in tow
I wonder what was that all about

>>3907593
Uhhh, that's a interesting proposal my friend but might I ask how lending us your bull will solve my Argonian's health issues? which I will say after listening to the advice from >>3900386 her health is slowly getting better and thankfully still be with us for the future

Although I do guess we might need to think of the future replacements as some of our tools here on the estate are getting rusty here and despite being a bit old she still fertile for a few more years, how long would it take for you and your bull to let say the outskirts of Vivec? our estate isn't far from there

>>3891090

Keep it down with anti-mericism

>>3900513
Breton or Altmer?

>>3885760
I'd sell my soul to the daedra for an alfiq wife

>tfw imperial mutt

*crashes non-stop until you remove whatever "big-tittied unique custom follower that you can marry with mandatory manjaw troon face" mod you downloaded from nexusmods fifteen minutes ago*

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Some fucking argonian nigger came into my shack bouncing around shouting FUS, knocking over all my shit
Cunt fucking stole all my sujamma
I hate this country

File: Morrowind 2025-05-12 23.41.09.918.jpg (412.7 KB)

fucking zoomers istg

>>3912529
You can just buy a custom-made lock and key, you know. Had one installed on a tool shed for shits and giggles and caught a retard spending days running around it trying to get in. I then tossed a copy of that key nearby. The look of disappointment on that asshole was priceless.

>>3900678
cool it with the anti-bretonic remarks

Khajiit is mer!

File: Gay pussy prostitute.jpg (75.2 KB)

>>3914200
>Elves are beasts!
ftfy, savage

>>3912529
The fuck is a nigger? Is that some Akaviri slang?

>>3913142
you n'wah

Nerevar didnt kill himself

>>3885760
Damn Argonians stole my fucking porch. Can't have shit in Bravil

how in Oblivion do you pronounce Tsaesci?
>TSAH-Ass-key?
>Sas-key?
>Tsah-S-EE?

>>3917507
[ˈseJ.ə.si]

>>3917540
fetcher
use tamrielic languages

>>3917546
>Doesn't know what a transcription is
Fucking orks, man. Shitborn were a mistake.

>>3917549
your mother was a gremlin and your father smelled of juniper berries!

>>3917469
Still better than Leyawiin. The fleabags are trying to steal the entire city.

File: Vivec is GAAAAY.png (268.0 KB)

>>3885768
>>3886142
>>3907069
>>3889389
I'm any apprentice at the Arcane University. Inbetween my Conjuration lessons I'm trying to brush up in the library on 3rd Era Morrowind History and must admit I struggle with understanding the naming convention behind their Province's fallen Gods. Would any Dark Elf historians itt care to explain it to me? Take your Vivec for example, beloved and worshipped by your ancestors under Names such as:
>Saint Vivec
>Warrior-Poet
>Poet
>God-Poet
>Child of Verse and Metaphor
>Blade
>Sword of the Triune
>Martial Axiom
>Our Lord
>Lord
>Champion
>Guardian God-King
>Lord of Middle Air
>Master of Morrowind
>Man-God
>Mastery
>Living God
>Son
>Mother-Father of Monsters
>Ansu-Gurleht
>Lyre
>Magical Hermaphrodite
>Circle Talker
>Sneed Bringer
>The Devil
>The Liar
>The God of Makes Us Woman
I guess my question is what in Oblivion was wrong with your ancestors? Why would they worship a tyrant who demands to be named "The Lying Devil-God who makes us women"? by his subjects? Yes I've read the 36 Sermons of Vivec twice so far but I can barely decipher a word of that rot! Perhaps it's just poorly translated but it is almost like it reads like the scribblings of an mad 10 year old intoxicated on skooma and mead. Half the chapters (if I'm even reading this correctly) seem to be about Vivec fucking his children (spawned in his marriage with Molag Bal?) to death with his detachable "Penis" he titles mighty "Muatra" that doubles as his "Spear"...? What the fuck am I reading? What foul race of people would happily worship this abomination as their God for over 35 centuries?

>>3920220
aint seen nothin yet n'wah
wait until you figure out azura goes by the R I M O F A L L H O L E S

File: medoras pussy.png (526.9 KB)

>HOT BRETON SORCERESSES IN YOUR PROVINCE WANT TO FUCK

>>3920236
SIGN ME UP

>>3902673
Spoken well, silenced one

File: file.png (557.0 KB)

I actually fucking hate these dunmer refugees in Windhelm bro. You retards should be thankful we even bothered opening our doors to you. We let you worship your vile daedra in your grey quarter, and what do you do? You beg for more gibs.

If you truly hate the Empire as much as us, why don't you join the Stormcloaks? Maybe we'd treat you better if you did.

"BuT iT's NoT oUr FiGhT"

Oh really? Then get the fuck out of our city. Because as it stands you're nothing but freeloaders.

Your existence in the fourth era is a fucking joke. Half of your land was destroyed by the eruption of Red Mountain. Your former lizard slaves rose up against you and conquered the southern regions of Morrowind, your so-called 'gods' turned out to be farces. And yet you all still maintain some idea that you're the gods' gifts to Tamriel. News flash retards, you're not. You're barely any better than the cats at this point.

Did that hurt? Oh I bet it did.

Get your fucking shit together, if you're such great warriors as you profess, head to the Palace of Kings and sign up to fight the Empire.

But you can't, and you won't because all you ever were were just cowards. Cucks to false gods, cucks to the Empire, cucks to Daedra, and now at the mercy of us proud Nords.

Anyway, I'm going to go have sex with my Bosmer girlfriend. Bye

>>3885888
I would like to interject here and explain that parental and sibling incest in Tamriel produces abominations for children.

Cousins are fine though.

SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NORDS, MY REDGUARD WIFE, KHAJIT GF AND ARGONIAN SEX-SLAVE
>t. breton

>>3920220
>Why would they worship a tyrant who demands to be named "The Lying Devil-God who makes us women"?
He is based off Hinduism which is cool with that shit irl

File: Redguard Recruit 64.png (3.7 MB)

>>3925733
Checked. I travel Skyrim north-to-south and east-to-west regularly as a courier. For whatever reason I encounter innumerable Redguard niggers (armed farmers, by the look of them) aiming to sign up with the Stormcloaks in Windhelm as well as encountering innumerable Dunmer niggers (armed farmers also, who know zero spells, by the look of them) aiming to sign up with the Imperials in Solitude. Afaik none of them actually manage to ever even sign up for your Civil War at all. I assume Dragons keep eating them all mid-journey. A bad way to go out. Maybe Ulfric blew his trumpet too loud too often? Why would Dark Elves (those residing outside Windhelm's Gay Quarter) want a united Empire? Why would Redguards hate Imperials enough to quit the farmboy lifestyle? Fascinating

t. Fuck both your factions, I say

Fuck the thalmor. Fucking knife ear pieces of horker dung.

>>3925768
Lyg hands typed this post

File: 308963609.jpg (24.3 KB)

>>3885895
>>3885959
>>3886076
>>3886082
>>3886643
>>3925733
In this spore-dream:
>The historically inept
>Guards
>Drug addicts and dealers
>Nords
>Argonians still seething over slavery
Should have never been opened up to the non-magically inclined, truly 2E 230 was the Hearthfire that dragonbroke. I'll be campaigning to take away your levitation rights.
>>3900033
I know a decent mage who can forge Whirling School certification if this is still bothering you. Obviously don't apply for any higher up Tribunal positions with it but it can land you a pretty cozy position in mainland houses and guilds.

>yeah I know a bit of necro-
you are a necrophile and fuck corpses

>abloo bloo i haet da thalmor!1!
They rule over you because we're superior to you, deal with it.

silence golden rod

File: twerkit.webm (295.7 KB)

https://youtu.be/aHSiMqWIzdw?si=9kVHXZL-EEPztGtu

>>3885760
SEEN ANY ELVES?

>>3925829
>they
>we
Is this the famed elvish high verbal IQ I’ve heard so much about?

File: 1742910909359779.png (3.3 MB)

ACHUTA

File: PROUD SHITTY NORDIC ASSHOLE.png (535.8 KB)

>>3927605
>ACHUTA
BASED! Likewise go suck the diseased feces out of your undead Daedric whore mother's ass too, honored anon. But wait... What do you mean to say precisely, Muthsera? I forget if "Achuta" actually translates to the common tongue correctly as blessed compliment or a cursed insult or both or neither. My sincerest of apologies for any cross-cultural miscommunications here brother

t. my 600 year office (all-too-often) can involve discussing hot scholarly takes on a great many modern meta varieties regarding the Dunmeri tongues&cultures. Which grows rustier by the season truth be told

>>3927926
that's a chiss

>>3896000
>>3896105
You're both delusional, as I, the chaste Argonian butler, am the TRUE Dragonborn. I challenge both of you fags to a duel of voices!

>>3927985
Sorry people, left my tool shed open. Bought a second lock today just in case, posts like that won't happen again.

>>3927395
>Not recognizing false flaggers
Actual thalmor and not retarded cyrodilic apes would see through this. We are thousand year old super geniuses for a reason. This is the world of the Thalmor, you are just living in it.

>>3885800
skyrim belongs to the nords

>>3886076
I'll pay you 50 septims to fuck off

>>3886100
>Sigismund Forrestmire

>>3889317
why do you use spears, we don't do that in Skyrim

>>3900045
blade agents glow in the dark and you should run them over with your carriage

>>3905332
telvani are pouring magikal potions into the bittercoast swamps that turn the freaking frogs gay

>>3917137
it's a term for describing a non human, usually a redguard

File: 1482457625448951.jpg (25.4 KB)

>>3925737
>redguard/khajiit/argonian harem

send him to... Bravil

>>3889370
Lmao you pathetic racists never fail to make me laugh with your “Temple humor” threads. Face it, most Mer will be infinitely more successful than any of you sad virgins will ever be. You are on the wrong side of history, get over it losers

File: Saint Martin STOMPS the Daedra.png (2.4 MB)

>>3885760
AKATOSH is KING!
I hate the Daedra!
Millions must burn!
Total Mer Death!
Pelinal Whitestrake will rise from His grave soon every Soul that has ever walked Nirn shall know he did nothing wrong!

t. Current Archmage of multiple provinces

>>3902921
>Skyrim
>Alinor
They're both shithole provinces. I'd sooner move to Coldharbour

I think the bosmer femboy I buttfucked last week gave me AIDS.

I think the bosmer femboy I buttfucked last week gave me AIDS.

Let's settle this once and for all: are the Nibenese white?

>>3886076
dude skooma lmao

File: image.png (76.5 KB)

Skyrim belongs to the Nords

>>3889343
underrated

Imperials are dying in Skyrim for their Aldmeri master lmao

>>3941308
Oh yeah? Then why was Ulfric seen meeting with the Thalmor before the Markarth Incident?

Morrowind: a depressing ash covered Wasteland with daedra worshipping cursed racists who eat worm eggs as a regular delicacy, get drunk off of bizarre drinka, and had oppressed lizard and cat people as farm tools finally get a savior only for the whole province to be burned to even more ash from the explosion of red mountain.

Why do people like morrowind again? And dark Elves for that matter?

This post has been brought to you the sons of skyrim (am an orc btw, still think the empire can suck it after trying to behead me).

>>3942047
adversity builds character Malacuck worshipper
something your very own fecal golem of a god tries to teach you

>>3942047
I don't know about you but the potion makers in Morrowind have the good shit.

File: 1719269165843861.png (179.4 KB)

BY SHEZZAR'S BLOOD!
Why are you so obsessed with the Flora and Fauna of the Heartland? Last time I stepped foot outside the city walls of Leyawiin, it was in fact jungled

>>3934048
Akatosh was 50% Lorkhan
Mother Alessia made him the Void up
Go suck on Vivec's Milk-Finger you anuic court jester, before your elongated back makes acquaintance with my colovian sabatons

>>3895024
I will be eternally grateful for the Tsaesci Swordstyle lessons I was so fortunate to receive during my adolescence

These peasants probably don't even remember the Void Moths

>>3942047
Foolish Pig-Man that you are, you do not realize that the Alessian Empire is just as much a nordic heritage as it is a nedic ohne
You either might have Boethia's dung in your skull or might just be too short-lived to remember High King Harald's glorious campaigns

>>3942047
You listed only good things brother

File: 1707041433889274.jpg (141.5 KB)

>Wake up, Snowback!
>It's time to crush a revolt in Skyrim and bring stability to the Empire
>What do you mean you don't want to?
>Is this how you honour the request of the Elder Council?

>>3929452
rude

File: 1729179226067998.jpg (21.5 KB)

>>3885895
Watch your tongue, Knife-eared scum

>>3900678
If you count the Countess of the Bluffs a Breton, sure

>>3925733
Dunmer just know better than to be Thalmori atronachs

>>3903437
You would still become a Vampire
No Vampire baddy wants a piece of that though, so tough luck for you

>>3943380
He needs some Penitus Oculatus officer to give him a corrective beating

>>3938025
poorfags like you just can't anford prime Gold Coast sea side real estate

>>3943381
Vampire wenches are a bad idea, biters will make a Muatra out of your spear

I used to be an adventurer until Serana stole my spear

>>3943393
BY THE NINE!

>>3943393
You simp for Serana cause she's a big titty Goth vampire princess with daddy issues.


I simp for Aela cause she's a stoic red-headed werewolf alpha babe.

We are not the same.

>>3903437
>>3943381
>drink fortfy speed potion
>bait a bite attack from vampire baddie
>as she lunges fangs first towards my neck
>pull greaves down, 360 jump, and brace for impact
And then just wait for ass vampirism to take hold

>>3943490
Serana is FLAT

>>3943490
Aela turns into a dog mid sex, you are a leaf right?

>>3943490
both of them are used goods

>>3885895
>fucks a winged bull and got knocked up
>fucks an elven god
>still got sanctified
elder scrolls lore is weird

File: Shor's Bones!.jpg (178.1 KB)

I'm telling you, Lokir of Rorikstead tried to steal that horse because he SAW SOME SHIT in Rorikstead. Rorikstead is a daedric cult, stop telling me I'm crazy because I wear a tin-foil helmet. It's enchanted ok?

Why won't the Jarls openly discuss what's going on in Rorikstead.

>>3941270
Based, /ourDunmer/. We'll get you out of that Grey Quarter and into a place on Valunstrad.

>>3899328
Dude, trust me, mix the booze and the moonsugar together, and then pour it into a bowl with a big wheel of Eidar Cheese. That shit's fuckin delicious and you will trip balls for like 720 seconds. Last time I ate some my hands were on fire and I kept making big titty firebitches appear and they literally killed a dragon for me.

File: LetterFromAFren.jpg (43.5 KB)

ok which one of you sick fucks was spying on me while I was taking a shit in the outhouse?

>>3943490
they both serve as the bicycle of their respective dumb cults, but if I must really chose, then I would still pick Serana because she doesn't smell like a freaking wet dog. And I when I say wet I don't mean water

>>3943490
>Serana
>big titty

>>3885760
I FUCKING HATE N'WAHS

>>3943490
>We are not the same.
You kinda are though.

>>3943490
You either die a vanilla enjoyer who accepts the friendzone with Serana, or live long enough to mod her into a forced marriage

File: Eternal Youth.png (479.7 KB)

Happy Saint Martin's Day. Drink up everybody

>>3945467
>mix the booze and the moonsugar together, and then pour it into a bowl with a big wheel of Eidar Cheese
I'll give that a try immediately. My blessing of high Luck paid off this holiday, some reveler guy randomly gifted me a shitload of Wine and Liquor about an hour ago. And I always stock homebases up with outrageous quantities of moon sugars and cheeses that I loot from my slain Khajiit friends!

>>3927934
It is not a fucking Chiss you half-literate fool! You're a Chiss! I know the difference between the fictional aliens in your gay fairy tale story books and non-fictional the fucking existent Dunmer race! Are you the current Arch Mage of 4 Provinces? NO? Than please politely STFU when adults are speaking, rotposter. Ok? Go suck Sheogorath's cock or something you maniac

>>3938063
Fair punishment for your wretched life of sin, mortal. Nine be eternally praised

>>3941308
I'm aware. My staff and I predict things will get get worse before they get better in the 5th Era

>>3942434
You're posting about the PSIJIC Endeavor? LORD OF THE BASED

>>3943196
Very true

>>3943492
TVD I might add

>>3943561
What's your problem with WereDogs?

>>3945438
Yes. The 1st Era was a weird age iirc

>>3945591
Indoctrinated. lol

File: Eternal Youth 2.png (1.0 MB)

>>3945827
You like to CHIM to I see? triple based if not beyond. I wish I had more peers. Saddening to say but what I lack most in life is a rival... a man to be my equal. Maybe we can found a CHIM Guild together tonight partner?

>>3929471
Here's a thought! How about you kindly insert your inhumane tongue inside deep my anus like gay retarded Redguard rapist asshole you are, ape?

>>3943562
That they certainly are! You're welcome to enjoy my discarded goods if you wish. Happy Holidays

That feeling you get when you finally hold Wuuthrad, but there aren't enough knife-ears to call your murder spree a genocide...

>he uses the ashyamjak axe
lol

File: Last Dragonborn SMOKES Tamriel.png (2.1 MB)

>>3885760
Since Reddit "Lords" just banned me from TESLore for daring to ask? I'll next ask you anons. WHO IS THE MOST RACIST RACE ON NIRN? Do elaborate!

>>3938937
>Nibenese?
>Are we white?
idk desu we've all considered ourself the whitest Cyrodilic breed for Eras, good sir

>>3948061
>BIG fat grin gesture of approval
>BIG fat thumbs up gesture of approval
Love you too, Elf. If you ever wish for free the Mastery level training in the finest arts of Speechcraft and Barter, or maybe Alchemy? Maybe Mixology? Archery? THE Longblade? 1-handed swordsmanship, 2-handed swordsmanship? any NINE schools of Magicka? Hand-to-Hand combat?!? Blunt weapons? Spearmanship? Acrobatics and Athletics or such? Smithing and Security? Lockpick or Blocking? Sneaking!? Aura? Seek me out, student! Won't be hard to find me of all men, given the contented status my continental reputation across Tamriel

Generally? I charge over 5,000 gold per one Master lesson and 100 gold per one novice lesson. I sense you're one of the only good ones. For you? I'll teach freely. 17 Hells I can even train you skills unfounded. Do you like gunpowder? CANON weapons? Easier to quickly train an army in said art as opposed to teaching every enlisted soldier in your army Level 20 Destruction Magicka wasting 50 years of my valued time

>>3945515
>bicyle
I invented those simple contraptions back in the Merethic Era. Youre welcome thanks for helping my sly profiteering, customerfags

>>3909079
How is your slave? I pray she's alright. I suppose I could spy upon her future but I'd rather just ask. too much Sujama today? How does one phrase said phenomena? Spying on our futures has a way of spoiling and altering our futures. I never use such moves unless the Gods grant me no choice

t. merely a Level 9,036 Imperial Highborn. already certified by both the long forgotten Scholars Guild and the late 2nd Era Fighters Guild to teach all said skills as a young man centuries before even achieving the CHIM tiers as an older man

I, a true son of Skyrim walked to the Grey Quarter and shouted n'wah to every greyskin I find

>>3949708
>not using proper Nord insults
Weak.

>>3949177
Actual non-meme answer is probably the Sload.
If we are only counting the playable races in the game then only Argonians tried to genocide everybody else.
>muh altmer
>muh nord
Meme lorelet answers by skyrimbabies
>muh dunmer
Closer to the truth, you could argue they are just as racist as argonians. They do deserve each other.

Nords in skyrim playing at casual racism, while High Elf Thalmor playing competitive.
Then there's the dwarves, playing a Spore in reverse. Their motives to alter the snow elves into the falmer are far beyond our understanding....

>>3950118
>lorelet
Anon you probably never even read Monomyth.
>Closer to the truth
Ok not you're just trolling.

The Underking did nothing wrong.

i am a very wealthy khajit prince
due ot a curuel twist of fortune, I access to my vault
if you pm me 1000 septims, i will share 30% of my vault with you

may our journey lead us to warm lands

>Another stupid Dunmer arriving at the Imperial City, clutching his pocket guide to the empire, asking where the rice farms are
Pelinal Whitestrake can't return soon enough

>>3952143
Why is the Underking frequently mentioned in the Camoran files?

File: azura doll.jpg (543.2 KB)

>dunmeriboos
imagine worshipping a crazy cat lady

I hate the "you n'wah" shit so much. It makes me think of a young Dark Elf troubled youth with a broccoli hairstyle who wants to be an aspiring rapper, called "Yung N'wah".

>>3945470
I sent that as a joke you assshout. don't flatter yourself

File: v6oksikxbc8a1.png (1.7 MB)

Don't never buy no moonsugar from the Khajiit caravan, F'lah. If the n'wah ain't in your contacts, don't ever go to the caravan, F'lah. I went up there at 11 o'clock last night trynna get me some moonsugar. F'lah, I smoked that shit, woke up, my motherfucking eye was right here and my other eye is still right here. Explain, F'lah. I gotta go look for this fetcher F'lah, what the fuck did you sell me, F'lah? Look at me, F'lah, I'm hideous.

File: Tyrones Tamriel Adventures.png (1.2 MB)

>>3961262
>Moon sugar fun all night long
>Face looks hideous the morning after
That means it's working. Just spend a peaceful month relaxing in the Sun and try to work in as much mediation as possible and your face will begin reverting back to normal. Also next time consume a health potion immediately before and after moon sugar indulgence. And don't buy those potions off a thief or cat, get them from a reputable alchemist

File: ScreenShot0.png (3.2 MB)

My name is Elladan Lirendel Rumilion 'len Inecil Culanarin Salolinwe 'ata Piryaden-Itelnoril Hilnore Firlamil 'cal Ternerben-Nivulirel. I'm six hundred years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on sload soap while doing my goblin hangings. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the soap, I use a deep pore cleanser potion. In the fountain, I use a water activated magicka cleanser. Then a honey lemon penis scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an aurialis facial mask, which I leave on for ten hours while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no wine, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look like a bosmer. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging spell followed by a final moisturizing protective enchantment.

There is an idea of a Elladan Lirendel Rumilion 'len Inecil Culanarin Salolinwe 'ata Piryaden-Itelnoril Hilnore Firlamil 'cal Ternerben-Nivulirel, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real mer. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel superior genetics haplomogging yours and maybe you can even sense our racist views are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

>>3968696
>Then a honey lemon penis scrub
Tell me more about these, sounds like something I need to be made aware of

>>3961262
>Muh moonsugar
I bet you cat fuckers don't even know what Sursum is.

>>3971554
>Sursum
We don't know, actually. Nobody knows what Sursum is. What is Sursum? Is Sursum based? Where might we purchase Sursum btw asking for a friend

>>3971877
High Rock. You never wondered why it was called that?

Redguards tongue my anus

>>3885760
I just witnessed some absolute n’wah outlander break into my family’s ancestral tomb. When he left I checked in and he desecrated remains of 20 of my progenitors, took the sword of my line’s founder and all the offerings we left over 500 years
Ordinators told me it’s not a crime, apparently…

>>3976455
It's Imperial law. Your ancestors attacked him first.

>>3949177
Much like IRL on Nirn easterners are much, much more racist than westerners. Every single race on Akavir hopes to exterminate the rest of them

File: OBR-class-Spellsword.png (166.7 KB)

>>3976578
>imperial law
DING DING DING N'WAH ALERT

Anyway, scroll unrelated, where my spellswords at?
I'm convinced flame atronachs can be damaged by significantly hotter flames but I can't get mine to burn hotter than a red flame. I'm considering just hiring an alchemist or brewing up something that will melt through them myself, any pointers?

[whole world crashes]

>>3976455
But maybe he was more happy to loot it, so total happiness in the empire increased :)

ULFRIC STORMCLOKE TOOK MONEY FROM THE TALMOR LOBBY HE'S A CONTROLLED OPPOSITION DRAGGING SKYRIM INTO ANOTHER USELESS WAR

>>3925737
>SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NORDS, MY REDGUARD WIFE
If Ulfric has any political sense whatsoever, this won't even be a joke. Skyrim alone can't handle the knife-ears, and cutting himself off from the Empire would be completely retarded if his motivation has anything to do with opposing the Thalmor, especially as he's already a veteran warrior but lacks an heir to the throne of Windhelm should he die in battle. But if he makes an alliance with Hammerfell, maybe the annihilation of his independent Skyrim will look more like a heroic last stand and not a rabbit running right into the jaws of a wolf. All he has to do to solve his problems is get himself into some ebony, and I don't mean armor.

Whether or not any leading family in Hammerfell would give their daughter over to a drooling barbarian is a different story.

>imperifats
>stopping the thalmor
Imperial cowards are so afraid of the Thalmor they let them roam around the empire unmolested to liquidate their political enemies because war is scary and bad and they might lose! They could walk right into the heart of cyrodiil and execute the emperor and the imperials would just take it because they love stuffing their fat faces more than they love any kind of freedom or dignity.

>>3982314
>They could walk right into the heart of cyrodiil and execute the emperor
Haha yea imagine if that had ever happened

imagine
Thalmor ans Empire ROUND 2 FIGHT begins
Hammerfell and Skyrim technically neutral but still choose to support Empire in limited capacity
both Thalmor and Empire is bloodied, war id exhausting them both and while they are busy...
Akavir invades again, now it is 3 sided war

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TWENTY SCHMACKAROOS THREE SEPTIMS TWO CYRODILLIC DOLLARS BABY

TWENTY SCHMACKAROOS THREE SEPTIMS TWO CYRODILLIC DOLLARS BABY

>>3982314
Oh yeah? Tell that to the legions that slaughtered your armies under Naarifin.

File: 23-27-47-62226637.jpg (47.4 KB)

this is what nord women are reading while their cuck husbands are fighting a stupid war

>>3982606
>nords
>reading

>>3982313
The companions aren't into committing warcrimes against merfolk anymore.
It's odd because it took the Chimer and Dwemer uniting to stop the nords (and they were using shouts, they didn't need wuuthrad).

But I don't see the nords standing alone against the TOG.

>>3925829
That's what the Ayleids thought, and they were powerful enough for overt slavery to be the order of the day (this was without wewuzzing about being Aldmer and shiet).
Now remember what happened to them... (they were unmade by their arrogance and internal political strife. The only thing the Thalmor have going for them is that they're not divided into city states that are constantly vying for dominance over their neighbors). The Dominion will have its time, but it eventually ends.

Maybe you'll go out with a bang like the Dwemer did.

>>3984136
Ulfric outright says that they couldn't even beat the Empire if it was serious and send all of the legions to Skyrim. So yeah no shit they obviously couldn't beat the Thalmor either.

Lmao you pathetic n'wahs never fail to make me laugh with your “nord humor” threads. Face it, most mer will be infinitely more successful than any of you sad virgins will ever be. You are on the wrong side of history, get over it losers

haha your thread is cursed now get fucked

*Resists arrest from the Imperial guard*

That'll show them.

>>3984847
hmm...
>Altmer became even uglier and started kvetching about how some guy who's now living rent free in their heads (he didn't even need CHIM for that. Also they're too retarded to see that this guy proves that you can escape bullshit and not be stuck on Nirn forever).
>Vvardenfell now lives up to the foreigners' impression of just being ash and lava (Probably the only truly cringe thing Sheogorath has ever done. Vivec should've destroyed Baar Dau immediately).
>Bosmer and Khajiit still hate each other and the Bosmer are getting kiked by TOG.
>No one's heard from the Maormer in centuries. (Too bad though. The Empire could use their help against the Thalmor, but they'd probably just end up under new management)
>Dwemer vanished, leaving a fat guy with mechanical spider legs.
>Ayleids got btfo'd by hordes of Cyrodiils.
>wtf is a left-handed elf? The niggers are being tight-lipped about Yokuda.
>Snow elves got btfo'd by Atmoran wiggers and kiked by the Dwemer.
The only mer still doing fine are the Orsimer, relatively speaking.
Maybe you should take a page out of the farmtools' playbook (neither of them like the nords, but they can't be bothered to give a damn and they've found creative ways to put up with the rampant alcoholism of the nords)

>>3885760
Nenalata did nothing wrong

>>3985181
Lindai lives matter. Lindai a good city state, they dindu nuffin!

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>>3985162
>No one's heard from the Fishmer in centuries
They're just a reclusive folk. I just got back from Pyandonea about a week ago. I vacation there once a year usually in Rain's Hand or Second Seed. The Fish Elves are doing well, except for the anarchy caused by the fact that my friend Aurlyn Dawnstone decapitated King Orgnum in a public duel not terribly long ago. However I'm not completely convinced that he's slain. Not yet, definitely wouldn't put it past him to somehow survive being beheaded. He's one tough fucking fishie

>>3986846
I actually think it would get interesting if the empire were able to form a temporary alliance with the Maormer to fight off the dominion.
The stormcloaks are wrong in that the empire has no love for the thalmor, they simply signed the concordat as a survival measure. The Redguards though have good reason for being bitter as they were abandoned (iirc they signed their own treaty, but I don't recall the details).

Damn Imperial Jews, we don't need your jew gold to control

>>3986911
The Empire left a lot of veteran Legionaries in Hammerfell to help the Redguards fight the Dominion. I don't think that they dislike the Empire as much as some people think and Ulfric also complains about them ignoring his diplomatic offers.

Hello traveler, I'm going to do some heavy lifting. *runs off to fight a giant* and flies up into the air

>>3986846
>ESO

>>3949708
>>3950072
Yes, I know. I've seen mudcrabs say better Nord insults then him.

>>3895024
I thought they were humans

>>3988508
They are snake people.

>>3988508
They’re bugmen

Alright fuck you n'wah im out
0*0

Im convinced now that the arena in the imperial city is rigged. The new blue team hire has been winning all their matches easily, often fighting multiple in a single day! Id even bet that the fights have never been real, fake blood and all. One big scam.