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Upon his safe return home, I noticed that he was straining to pee in places he shouldn’t be trying to pee in - like a cardboard box. We took him to the vet and it turns out he has some kidney stones.

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Ultrasound

>>5112990
instant karma for his escape. the punishment has been meted, here's hoping he heals now

What a stressful few days for our boy

>>5112993
Jefrey mpreg

We need to get jefreys cortisol levels down immediately

Perhaps a can of tuna

>>5112994
They stole my balls AGAIN

>>5113024
you think he's gonna get a delicious can of tuna after that stunt he pulled yesterday?

give him tuna already

He does not deserve tuna

>>5113036
Only good cats get a can of tuna. Jef is a very BAD kitty

>>5112990
>We took him to the vet and it turns out he has some kidney stones.
Noooo :(
Those are so painful

>>5112988
Nigga didn't even look back

>>5113060
he will stop misbehaving once he gets his tuna

>>5113065
The first the pics you can tell he's on a MISSION. once he's halfway down the hall, you see him relax and start casually walking away.

>>5113061
Perhaps he wouldn't have kidney stones if he had a can of tuna. Fish oil is very healthy for the liver and kidneys

>>5112990
aw he looks so defeated. He deserves tuna can after this horrible ordeal

>Polycystic kidney disease (PKD) is prevalent in the Scottish Fold.[14] A study in Japan of cats suspected to have kidney problems found that 54% of tested Scottish Fold cats had the PKD1 mutation, which is responsible for PKD
:(

>>5113124
JEF NO :'(

>>5113124
scottish cat maker idiots

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>>5113124
>we've got a cat with possible PKD and a penchant for escapism
>2.5-3 years old
>has all standard inoculations
>2 cat roommates, 2 human roomates
>on medication for his scottish fold (in the form of small brown treats)
>i want all the usual tests run
>13, handle bloodwork
>black doctor, handle mouse-bites
>report back to me before first commercial break

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>>5113139
Funny you mention it, but his bloodwork came back fine. He’s just got a few kidney stones. We need to get him to drink more water.

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>>5113141
>i'm not taking any chances with this one
>i want a full PKD screening
>mri, ultrasound, the works.
>pay special attention to lipids in the urine
>black doctor, go do black stuff

>>5113141
No wonder he goes on the counters you taught him that treats might be hidden there

>>5113148
>"treats could be anywhere" Jef thought to himself out loud

>>5113141
commence Operation Jef Hydration

>>5113187
Fill up a squirt bottle and spray Jef in the face

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>>5113187
>so we found that Jefrey is a certain breed of cat called a Scottish Fold, ok?
>this breed of cat is very susceptible to PKD, which basically means he will get a LOT OF KIDNEY STONES, okay?
>so what we need to do is work on replacing the KIDNEY STONE in his belly with lots of water, right …. here, okay?
>any question?

>>5113193
>how do we get water into jef?

>>5113194
I wrote a jiangtext about how we use the power of deception like the Greeks using the Trojan Horse but my browser crashed and I can’t be bothered to rewrite

Isn't tuna usually packed in water when you buy the cans?

>>5113199
yes, at least in the states. i've never bought the kind with oil.

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>>5113193
I’ve never clicked on a single one of that guy’s videos, and probably never will

>>5113201
I've clicked on multiple jefrey videos and I will probably click on more

>>5113201
POV: ur a can of tuna

>>5113201
How can we trick jef into drinking more water? Can you put fish oil in the water? Would a cat like that? Is there water in milk? Cats love milk. What if you freeze treats in ice cubes so he has to lick it to get the treat?

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>>5113218
>trick
lol, he’s drinking more water whether he likes it or not

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Jefrey’s Great Escape

https://youtu.be/v49GTYC2scM

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Big Orang and Old Orang

>>5113292
they too want tuna

>>5113265
>jef in his evil lair plotting revenge

>>5113234
W-where is that gonna go?

The wife needs correction

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>>5113139
>A cat escaped from his owners' home. This is what happened to his organs.
>J is an eighteen-month old male scottish fold, presenting to the veterinarian with difficulty passing urine.
>The previous morning, he had escaped from his owners' home, causing property damage, and at least one reported missing persons case.
>Following his eventual recovery, he found he was having difficulty passing urine. He constantly had the urge to urinate, yet could not get anything to come out. His owners brought him to the vet, leading to where we are now.
>While blood tests did not identify any other underlying conditions, an ultrasound scan discovered that J had contracted nephrolithiasis, "nephro-" pertaining to to the kidneys, "lith" meaning stone, and "-iasis" meaning a pathological condition: a pathological condition of stones present in the kidney.
>The vet prescribed an increase in his water intake, following which he was able to make a full recovery.

>>5113288
kek how the fuck did your wife miss that?

>>5113331
jef planned that escape for months. perfectly executed. the moment she turned around to close the door, he snuck behind her heels and jumped out

>>5112982
In which war was he a hero?

>>5113334
General Capy will be fielding all questions on the matter.

>>5112982
kek based edit

>>5113359
it's a 1:1 translation

>>5112982
>Jefrey was named after the Pixies song “Space (I Believe In)”
Lies. He was named after the infamous New York investor

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>>5113361
Jef slander will not be tolerated. Jef is a bad kitty, but he's not a billionare pedophile. Say another unkind word about Jef and i'll come to your house and shove grapes up your butt till you piss wine.

>>5112982
Jefrey Epstein

>>5113362
The Epstein obsession these people have is nuts. Theres one person at my uni who literally keeps a big photo of Epstein hanging from their rearview mirror. Its nuts. Batshit ass nuts.

>>5113364
people should be aware of him. he kinda does need to be shoved down the public's throat until they acknowledge this is the world we live in. but throwing strays at jefrey because of a jewish billionare ex-mossad blackmailing sex trafficking pedophile is a bridge too far.

>>5113365
Everyone is aware already. What do you think the obsession is accomplishing? Is anyone going to jail? No. Is any justice being done? No. Are any kids being rescued? No. Is anything happening at all? No.

This is used PURELY as a political manuever. People screech "pedophile" at anyone and anything they disagree with ideologically. It doesnt exist for any other reason than to be wielded.

It's guilty until proven innocent. Thats all it is. An ideological weapon. None of you give a shit about any of it beyond that and you are a liar if you claim otherwise.

>>5113368
>>>/pol/ is that way, doofy
this is /jef/

>>5113369
Yeah, cuz Im the one that brought it up.
Fuck you, you dumb asshole. You get scared by the sight of more than one sentence?

>>5113370
jef just texted me and said ur a faget

Jef is zesty

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when does the jef videogame and action figure come out

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jef plushie

>>5113378
>cat-headed dumbass

>>5113331
I asked her the same thing

>>5113334
All of them

>>5113404
Damn look at those high cheekbones jef

>>5113404
Are you client in mandarin? You remind me of des bishop but with a crazy cat
https://youtu.be/MeVoMgN4JEc

>>5113412
Fluent*

>>5113412
No I’m basic to intermediate

>>5113422
You've been living there for like five years. You should be way higher level

>>5113423
I know enough for my daily life but I’m not fluent. When I first came here I studied it in a university for two semesters. Since then it’s been slow going. I just haven’t had the time to devote myself to it, but I will be able to again soon.

>>5113360
Not even close.

>Notice of looking for cat
>My beloved cat is lost!
>Coat/Characteristics: Folded ears, [orange?], little two-year-old cat, mischievous personality.
>If you have information, a reward will be given!
>Contact number: ________
Or something like that.
>>5113423
More difficult to learn a language so thoroughly dissimilar to your native tongue at a later age so I don't blame OP for not being fluent. I lived in SG as a kid and I can't speak Chinese terribly well. My tones are often off. My native language is a "pitch-accent language" meaning it's semi-tonal. We mostly use tone for conjugation and to differentiate words that would otherwise be homophones but we only have three tones, rising, falling and neutral. Mandarin adds high (which has no rising; it just starts high), low (starts and stays low, no falling) and falling-rising.
Falling-rising starts neutral, drops then rises. BUT! Sometimes it just falls. Or just rises. Example, 你好 technically uses the same tone for both parts, falling-rising. Ni. Hao. But the ni actually just rises. And the hao? Well, it's properly pronounced with falling-rising but often gets flattened to just falling. And it gets more complex with larger strings, like 我很好 ("I'm fine/good", wohenhao). All three are supposed to be falling-rising but wo is pronounced as a low tone (again, no falling; just starts low and stays there), hen is pronounced falling-rising and hao is falling. And yes, using the wrong tone can change the meaning entirely. Usually, someone will understand you're not a native speaker and get what you mean from context but not always.
To exemplify: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLcSq8bO20w
And it's board relevant cuz it's about lions!

>>5113432
Become a welcome guy at a restaurant

>>5113433
It’s a screenshot from google translate app, idiot. It’s 100% word to your mother truth

>>5113433
Yeah, you get it. I’m a native English speaker and didn’t learn a word of Mandarin until my mid 20’s. If you don’t learn this shit as a kid it’s really difficult to learn it. I know guys who have lived here longer than I have and speak little to none at all. I’m hardly an edge case.

>>5113436
Yelling at Jef in mandarin seems so much funnier than English

>>5113437
Jef only knows English

>>5113438
maybe that's why he doesn't listen. he was born in China. why tf would he know english? he grew up on the streets.

>>5113443
It’s fucking hilarious when my wife’s fanily comes over and tries to tell him to come or not to do something, it’s like dude he doesn’t understand Chinese, and 2nd even if he did, he doesn’t care. He won’t even jump down off the counter until he sees me coming to get him.

>>5113444
Jef is a bad kitty.
>doesn't work hard
>can't speak chinese
>jumps on the counter
>escapes
>fights the other cats
>meow too loud

>>5113444
Operation Chinese Jef

>>5113445
Much like real life, it's good that he's cute

>>5113124
People are realizing that SuriNoel put that warning on every video for a reason

>>5113448
you spoil jef. you let him get away with anything. your wife is always the one who has to be the bad guy and say "NO JEF"

>>5113452
I'm not op, but thanks for playing

>>5113404
has jef drank enough water today?

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>>5113361
Actually speaking of this, the Pixies are playing in Shanghai next month. The wife and I just scored tickets to go (we both like them). I will let you know if they play Jef’s song.

Note: I am not saying I live in Shanghai. I’m keeping it ambiguous. I could be traveling for this, or maybe I’m not. Who knows?

>>5113473
>why is the cat screaming?

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>>5113459
He’s getting an extra 5ml of water via syringe several times a day

>>5113485
ok but what about the tuna

>>5113473
HERE COMES YOUR JEF

>>5113485
jef flouridated stare

>>5113473
>Shanghai
You've almost certainly eaten at my cousins' restaurant lmao

>>5113544
There's like 100,000 restaurants in Shanghai

>>5113568
his cousin owns them all

>>5113590
Cousins. Two of them. And they actually do own a few. Also some in Beijing, I think?

>>5113478
Why aren't YOU screaming?

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>>5113544
Who is your cousin and what restaurant does he/she own? I’ll go eat there during that time. I expect my meal to be COMP’D once I pull out my phone and show my collection of never before seen Jef pictures proving that I’m OP.

>>5113649
>trading rare Jef NFTs for food
what a world we live in

Jef x McDonalds collaboration

>>5113654
JEF MEAL:
>1 tin of tuna
>13g catnip
>McFish sandwich (no bun, no lettuce)
>4 treats

>>5113655
and a large cup of water (no ice)

>>5113676
+Orang milkshake (used only to hit big orang over the head with)

>>5113292
Two well-behaved cats that never commit war crimes or try to escape. Why isn't it /orang/?

>>5113779
Very stylish jef
>>5113781
Oh wow

>>5113701
They’re just supporting characters in this

>>5113781
STOP EATING THE PLANT JEF

>>5113779
get him chipped. very cheap.

>>5113433
you come off as an adam freidland type knowitall. just HAD to tell us the stuff you knew, didn't you, dork?

>>5114049
i hope big orang punches Jef right in his nose

>>5114045
jef is never gonna get a can of tuna if he keeps acting out

>>5114060
Big Orang would fuck Jef up so bad if she really wanted to and went full Berserker mode on him. She’s about 1.5kg heavier than him, she’s also more nimble than he is despite being fat. The problem is that she’s way too kind-hearted and soft, with a strong motherly instinct.

>>5114066
take away Jef's privileges until he gets his act together

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>>5114049
Big Orang throws pocket sand at jef

>>5114075
>it's super effective!

>>5114075
Big Orang would def be ground/fighting
Old Orang would be ground/psychic

>>5114079
Jef is fairy/dark

>>5114082
i'd lean more towards normal/dark. he's like Meowth, but more diabolical. Meowth had a motive. Jef does it for fun.

>>5114085
I think he’s a little mischievous fairy boy

>>5114086
maybe if we had a great sketch artist ITT to draw out some fairy vs. dark ideas for Jef.......

>>5114075
Looks more like pocket diarrhea

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>>5114088
dark jef

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>>5114096
11/10

>>5114097
Thanks. The lore is he trapped capy in his orb to drain her maternal energy for his dark power

>>5114099
>Jef must ponder the Capy orb for all eternity

>>5114099
does jef control orb capy or does orb capy control jef?

>>5114101
Jef has just trapped capy. He discos on the orb for power. Maybe one day she can influence him somehow to be a good cat again…

>>5114103
*sucks not discos, I’m not sure how I typed that

>>5114104
idk..Disco Jef sounds pretty cool. with a little leisure suit and gold chain...

>>5114103
i like it. in this world, Capy is a prisoner of Dark Jef. But Jef forces Capy to do his bidding. Very bad kitty....

>>5114096
>Fold:
>cuts enemy attack by 50%

>Ponder:
Opponents' next 2 moves have a 50% chance of missing

>Bite

>Psybeam

>>5114103
I always imagined Capy being a male

>>5114113
Capy’s big brotherly energy then

>>5114096
dope dude

>>5112982
>Very cute
No

>>5113544
Tell me what restaurant it is. I’ll eat there during that time, if it’s not out if the way at least. I won’t say who I am or anything. Then I’ll tell you how it was.

>>5114124
Stop trying to be cute and innocent jef, we know what you did

>>5113292
Do they get along?

>>5114134
yeah but look. he's got his little feet up in the air.

>>5114096
this is badass

>>5114113
capy is def a guy. they're bros.

capy wears a big cartoonish bow like a fag

>>5114257
Capy was a general in the great war. Show him some respect.

>>5114255
Do bros suckle on each other?

>>5114264
Capy knows it's not on some gay shit.

capy is gay
jef is gay

>>5114266
i could punch you right in the face, tough guy..

>sagebombing a Jef thread
But why tho

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>>5114293
A lot of people hate him for some reason

>>5114320
It’s the sour jefs effect

>>5114320
why does Jef wear the collar?
would it kill him if i took it off?

>>5114328
It would be extremely painful

>>5114330
he's a big cat

>>5114333
4 U

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>>5114336

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>>5114337
They expect one of us to be in the wreckage brother

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>>5114338
>you're scum
>this city just showed that it isn't afraid of cats like you, Jef

>>5114342
kek

>>5114320
It's the signature look of superiority

>>5114320
i don't hate gays

>>5114342
Sometimes. Sometimes this board is all right.

Why are we auto-saging? OP, did your IP get flagged or something

>>5114439
I have no idea, I use a 4chan pass, but it’s possible

I have no idea how auto sage works, I didn’t know it was a thing. I’ve used a proxy to post on 4chinz for years, along with a 4chin pass, and never had a problem. I switched my location up, but if this thread slides off maybe someone else will have to make the new one. Hope this shit isn’t because of my IP. I have a 4chan pass Hiroshimoot

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Could a janny have done it because he hates Jef?

>>5114444
Jannies will pay for saging jef.

>>5114439
Doesn't affect me because I pin all /jef/ threads to the top

>>5114444
very likely, just keep making threads, it's just one guy and you're not breaking any rules

>>5114437
he looks like he needs his belly rubbed...

EVERYONE BUMP FOR THE JEF

I always have catalogue on last reply, bump order is stupid

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Sounds to me like there might be a Janny who deserves a pay cut

>>5114545
is that eddie van halen?

>>5114545
WHAT ARE THOSE

>>5114545
that pussy WET

>>5114545
Jef was a hard in the paint street nigga

>>5114554
Crocs

>>5114628
he's using his body to shield capy. that's true love.

>>5114545
why would you take jef out in the rain? you know he doesn't like being wet

Jannies have autosaged the thread... /jef/ has fallen...

>>5114652
Fuckin useless tranny jannies. Pin the thread.

Imagine being a retarded janny and autosaging one of the only regularly active thread on an otherwise DEAD board.

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Show me where on the capybara that Jefrey hurt you, Janny

>>5114630
true avarice

use reply order, retards

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Saw this kot again, she’s been living in that park for over a year

>>5114722
Jef is unbothered by jannies futile attempts to stifle his rise to fame

>>5114694
do people just feed stray cats over there?

>>5114756
Do they not, where you are?

>>5114758
hell no. you don't feed a stray cat around here. a stray cat becomes your cat once you feed it.

>>5114760
Lots of old ladies etc feed strays here. They wouldn't be able to have them as home cats properly, so they put food and water and often shelter so they can at least get a bit of an improved condition. And I'm not OP, so "here" for me is Europe- I imagine it's how it is in a lot of places worldwide, too.

>>5114723
Jef HATES sandals. You know that.

>>5114724
Jefcanhazcheeseburger?

>>5114756
OP here. Yeah, a lot of people feed strays. It’s one positive thing I see changing. Maybe it’s just my perception but it felt when I first came here people gave less of a shit. But I think young people are the source of that, possibly influencing their older family members as well. Near my old apartment people put out all kinds of shit like cat beds / shelters, bowls of food and water etc

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We called the resident stray at my old place L.Ron

>>5114911
i've got a much more Lovecraftian name for him....

>>5114922
i'd laugh so hard if jef fell off

>>5114924
Jef got caught JESTERMAXXING at the GOON tower! Big orang MOGGED Jef into a CORTISOL-SPIKE and Jef TOPPLED down like a SIMP

>>5114944
shut the fuck up faggot

>>5114923
man on a ledge

>>5115012
He longs for tuna

>>5114947
>shut the fuck up faggot
well that wasn't very nice now was it

>>5114014
>adam freidland type knowitall
I'm not a know-it-all as I've no idea who Adam Friedland is.
I just don't say anything unless it's about stuff I happen to know about, like Chinese.

What if you snuck up and tickled Jef's feet? Would he be angry?

>>5115197
OP test this hypothesis

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>>5115208

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>>5115228

>>5115228
>>5115229
hehe excellent

Probably gonna have to make a new thread tomorrow

>>5115254
Yeah we're gonna get Jefy tomorrow

>>5115228
>>5115229
11/10

>>5115254
Autosage edition?