I let the knews make its way to me through word of mouth, or by catching it on the TV in the pub

>>42748534
What's the point of faking a 100 year old article if you're gonna use the word "tranny", and then completely give up and use "egg"?

so tired of repressing my attraction to men. this is genuinely taking up so much of my mental resources.

News is gay

q1: no
q2: dont care about news. nothing ever happens. change is like boiling alive frog slowly. its only obvious in a retrospect. poolitics are bread and circus binch of parasitical pigs sharing common interests. see Donny&Bubba. its a teeter totter swinging to hit common person harder and harder squeezing then dryer and dryer devastating environment too. poli ticks are all rotten vile blood drinkers baby eater pedos high on adrenochrome. maybe not literally but not far you kniw what i mean.

The news is brainworms for normies, and its almost worse than troonism

Anyone do psychedelics

>>42748718
Same

I'll tell you about an excellent cope it's called self depreciation

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>>42748534
Q1: Not at the moment. I used to subscribe to some literal newspapers and magazines, because I'm old, but the interesting ones are all too expensive. Maybe in the future.
Q2: Mostly online. I check the sites of local TV and newspapers, sometimes a couple of national outlets, but their business sections rather than general or political news.
Also /x/ and InfoWars for good measure.
>>42746634
My answer everything would be no. I was never comfortable being the man in a sexual relationship, and I rarely found my masculine features to be attractive or affirming. Sex was never important enough for me to seek out one night stands.
I have settled into a relatively comfortable asexuality, where I get myself off if I feel like it. Being in a relationship would require way too much masking.

>>42750205
>Also /x/ and InfoWars for good measure.
why infowars? so you can get the latest regime talking points?

>>42749250
Part of the reason why im here

>>42750236
No, more so I can see which supplements I should take if I want to get redder...
I check infowars if something is going on in the real world, and I want the tinfoil hat take. It's more of a vibe check.

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>>42750341
at this point infowars doesnt seem like the tinfoil hat take, at least for anything remotely involving trump since infowars started blindly parroting trump admin talking points
he has become a slightly spicier version of the controlled media he used to rail against

I'm now finding it incredibly irritating and offensive to hear my friends constantly bitch about women too, not just their anti-trans talk. I can't help but think "It's no wonder you fuckers are alone."

>>42750508
It is kind of funny to observe the cognitive dissonance. It's clear they want the Epstein files more transparent, but they're still holding out that trump is /ourguy/, so they're burning parts of that circle while trying to defend the rest.

>>42750508
samefagging, but I'm such a tard, I only just noticed that said "pre-hrt" lol

>>42750205
>InfoWars
controlles opposition or rather cancer injected into truthseekee conoiratard esoteric blah blah movement. ever heard of godlikeproductions.com? they read post before you send it. they were found to work from florida military base. during Obamas presidency there was constant racebaiting and chuddification. so gross. chuds killed paranormal consapiracy spaces. i fucking canrlt stand chus fuckin bastards bizos who think they are wise

can therapy fix me? i really don't want to feel like this anymore.

>>42750695
Until you take off the rose tinted glasses and realize almost all transphobia in the world stems from women.

>>42750883
I hadn't heard of them. I suppose the blessing and the curse of the internet as a place to discuss that sort of stuff is it's both more accessible...and it's more accessible.
For my actual paranormal news, I go to The Anomalist, which is an aggregator. They do a roundup of headlines about UFO disclosures, interviews with Bigfoot hunters, scientific reports that corroborate or challenge parapsychology. It's more on that side of things than conspiracy. Arguably less tainted, because what is there to taint? It still tickles my occult/paranormal interests.

>>42750988
This

>>42751003
oh will check thanks. conspiracy is now just wingnuttery. bleh!

idk why i take hrt because it does nothing but make me pale and weird looking and my chest hurts but i cant stop.

I'm torn between my agp and just wanting to be normal and logically the better life should just be being normal.

>>42750988
they're just butthurt they're lower on the civil rights totem pole than they used to be. Same reason LGBs hate T also btw.

>>42748534
Admitted I am trans to someone yesterday while drunk. I hope they forget it.

>>42746695
Really, really hope that's true repster. I also cope by imagining we get an avatar creator in the next life, or absolutely nothing, that would be the next best option.

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>>42748534
>>QOTT: Do you subscribe to/financially support any news outlets, and why/why not?
No. NEET without money.
>>QOTT2: How do you prefer to get your news? (Email newsletter, paper, TV, website...)
RSS.
>>42748742
>>42748757
Trvke.
>>42750205
What are the too expensive ones?
>>42753330
Posted on /x/, but what would (you) want in an avatar creator?

if women found out I envied them they would beat me to death

make it stop

There's really no one you can be honest with

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>>42753887
>what are the too expensive ones
I used to subscribe to the New Yorker, the New York Review of Books and the Wall Street Journal. Very posh, very arts and letters, very East Coast.
They were all pretty good. The New Yorker usually had interesting briefs and features, and sometimes really great fiction. The New York Review of Books always had some deep take on literary fiction and academic nonfiction. And the Wall Street Journal had an excellent weekend edition, thoughtful and covering a lot of subjects.
But altogether they were a bit pricey, especially the Journal. I probably would have kept it if there'd been a weekend only option, but there wasn't so I let it go. I think I had already let the New Yorker go because I found its writing less consistent than the other two. For a while I kept getting the NYRB because it was the most cost effective compared to how interesting it was, but I eventually let it go too because... I dunno.
I'm currently underemployed, and subscriptions are a bit of a luxury. Also, keeping engaged with life can be pretty hit or miss.

I am going to take a break from drinking for the next 2 days except for like one beer maybe

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>>42756240
Beer ain't drinking...
Good luck anon. Can't hurt to ease off things.
I haven't had a drink since Tuesday. I was drinking pretty solidly for a week before that, but I'd been on a monthlong break before that, so... I guess my record this year is pretty good?

>>42756262
so true
good job, remember that if drinking starts causing extra problems for us we won't be able to enjoy it as much anymore

>>42750508
Literally just avoid getting fat and a fat fucking beer gut and you will never look this horrible

Why not just be a gay guy????

>>42756454
I don't want to

>>42756458
please!

>>42756464
no.

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>>42756435
You'd drink too if every day was a psyop.

>>42756468
you would be happier that way (really!)

>>42756573
it doesn't work that way and I won't be your boyfriend

>>42756581
I don't want to date you, I just think you would be happier if you didn't take estrogen and dated men who are not me, without any restrictions on your body, mandatory anti-sexual chemicals, or limitations on how you can enjoy maleness.

It 100% does work that way - you are unwilling to try because society doesn't like gays and it won't be easy and troons are cowards who fear a challenge.

>>42756602
you are living in an alternate reality

>>42756614
>says the people who believe men with penises magically become women and straight men become attracted to them if they take a magical chemical that magically transforms their honkin' male skeletons into female ones
lol
lmao even

>>42756625
and there it is

don't reply to gincel you tard

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I stopped looking at this site and the thoughts went away for a few days yet they've come back anyway
Please just make me normal

going to sleep and hope I wake up as a girl

there is an implicit knowledge among even LGBT positive people that bottoming is an inherently degrading act. "the middle east isnt homophobic" and the example they use is that some countries are ok with tops. "monkeys have gay sex in the wild" and its exclusively for the purpose of humiliation and establishing hierarchy. etc

>>42757079
maybe one of these days we'll get lucky, huh?

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>>42756231
Hope you can get more work. What were some of the academic nonfiction reviewed?
>>42756876
Pray you find peace.

Digits say I wake up in Themyscira.

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>>42748534
what happened to femrepgen?

I'm traumatized because I internalized all the transphobic memes from when I was a rightoid so I feel like a freak for wanting to do hrt.

>>42758247
>what were some of the academic nonfiction reviewed?
I saw stuff about everything from medieval European religious art to American efforts to influence politics in Africa following World War 2. It was whatever was recently released.
There could also be multi-book reviews. Like, a biography of a botanist and a book arguing in favor of plant sentience might come out around the same time, or three books about whether or not animals could dream, and a writer would link them together. It could be quite insightful.
>>42757079
>>42758253
I go to sleep hoping I at least dream of being female.
>>42756454
How would you respond to asexual reppers?

>>42756454
not into men
nor women

can i hug a repper? i think it would be nice for the both of us.
t. manmoder

>>42758854
too busy jorking it to gay hockey players

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>>42758854
No fair. I want an option between "troon asap" and "don't troon."
>>42758955
I'd say yes, but I think of myself as such a disgusting worm creature that I wouldn't want to put you through that.

>>42759028
then we can be two worms hugging in the mud <3

>>42756454
>>42756602
Would change literally nothing, and yes there are still restrictions on your body and limitations on how you can enjoy maleness. So seeing how it's just fucked and hopeless either way, why would you not embrace what you actually see yourself as?

This shits exhausting man. I just doomscroll on Instagram and get jealous of every person I see younger and more feminine than me

>>42748534
anti hon anger is literally a century old. everyone loves realtrans passoids. they show a higher aspiration than most other AMABs can achieve

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>>42758253
The numbers, they failed me.

>>42750955
I would advice against therapy. I tried therapy for depression, and the only thing thay happened was it set me back months due to having to cancel plans because its a time sink and cost me lots of money. It can work for some, but I dont really believe it anymore. Maybe you could try it if you feel stuck, otherwise I would suggest self help.

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>>42759106
I guess I can roll with that.

>>42750508
I think the man is morally reprehensible and an idiot but he has the exact physique that would have me on my knees for him ngl

>>42758955
I would cry immediately

>>42760342
yay!
>>42761481
thats ok we can cry together and hold one another

>>42759028
Same, I hate people touching me because I have this pervasive feeling that I'm disgusting and dirty.

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my personal aesthetic is "sad old man who threw away his one chance at a fulfilling life"

wbu anons?

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i';m spiritually moided and it's inherent. and i hate it but in the same way inherently feminine gays im jealous of probably hated being gay at some stage in their life. im so regarded

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>>42761939

>>42758901
Sounds like a good choice of books. Did any of the reviews get you to read the books mentioned?

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>informed consent clinic is a 5 minute drive away
>still don't have a driver's license

>>42762185
Walk bitch

>>42762206
it's cold outside :(

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do the trannies on discord and this board actively go out of their way to make permarepping twinks miserable? i'm fucking 5'11, i'm 20 years old, i would never pass, but whenever i get a little courage to post myself online it ends in a shitshow half the time. they always threaten to ban/report me unless i participate in their humiliation ritual where i have to go get my drivers license/a piece of paper with a datestamp and then block out all the info except my DOB.

i don't know why they get so angry at me, even after i prove my age they treat me differently than before i showed my face. i used to cope and say "oh theyre hons and jealous" but i know they're having relationships and sex while i've never even e-dated. sorry but fucking hell

i want to hug someone
ik you all think i'm a pervert but it's not true
but
ig i will not be alone in death. :|
or eurojackpot ig!! :D

>>42748534
take your HRT, retards

>>42762747
make me

>>42762213
Man up hon

>>42762780
stop being mean to me

>>42762757
say aaaaa

i'm sad that repper-kun didn't post their daily thread today. I was looking forward to it.

>>42762789
...aaaa

gm repgen, im 29 and have done nothing with my life so far, except inject estrogen for some time, kinda pointless. I think a big problem with me is I idealise myself too much, I have an image of myself as looking good and beautiful and so on, but im not, not that im ugly I dont think... I only see myself as ugly because im not beautiful, when really I just look normal, just a normal unremarkable person who maybe looks a little odd. I should probably start seeing myself that way.

It is nice how I have less body hair now though, though having boobs is weird, might just cut them off and eunuch maxx.

>>42762281
Stop repping, stop going on discord, ignore them, go outside.
With your mindset you'll end up like me repping for another 4 years with no point

>>42762747
HRT won't make everyone an anthro woman.

I don't even need to tell anyone anything. I guilt trip and torture myself on my own

>>42763134
yes it will

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>>42763182

It's like I have a fucking shock collar on when it comes to feeling horny

I wish i still had hope

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taking estrogen to be a gay furry femboy

>>42763348
i lost my hope at 14 and never recovered

I hate being bisexual

>>42763352
these characters ruined my life

>>42763365
why

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>>42763352

>>42763381
I don't understand what to even feel when it comes to being attracted to someone

make me into a girl right now or else i'm going to kill myself

>>42763406
Don't kill yourself nonny.

I should kill myself

>>42763436
No.

>>42763407
why not

>>42763373
same if i didnt read hardblush at 12 years old id be fine right now

>>42763448
It's bad.

>>42763446
I'm not going to, but I should

>>42763462
living is also bad

>>42763467
>>42763463
:(

>>42763467
Really fucking is, isn't it

i just want to be a girl that's all i want

>>42763508
You say just like it's an easy (or possible) thing

>>42763521
i say just as in that's the only thing i want

>>42763525
You're right, I'm tired, depressed and suicidal tonight. My English is clearly faulting and I should go to sleep

>>42763536
it's okay
goodnight

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>>42763456

Does the method someone takes to repress impact their quality of life? I am a repressing/repressed bisexual and I have implanted a mantra of worthlessness in my subconscious mind: I always remind myself how useless I am, how unwanted I am, how insignificant I am. I’ve not been employed in 7 years, live with my parents, collect disability payments and seldom leave the house. It certainly works as I have never been in a relationship, never had sex, and have never kissed/been kissed, but I am miserable, and there’s only so much I can do to distract myself.

can love bloom between a repper and a pinkpiller

>>42763833
I would say this general is pretty solid evidence that however one reps, it leaves some kind of psychic scar.
>>42763884
I think a purer love is between a femrepper and a mascrepper. But maybe that's just me being hopeful...

>>42763884
sure why not

>>42763365
Yeah its like a gross curse

Ive made suffering too integral a part of my personality

i enjoy being bisexual

>>42763939
Surely there’s a way that doesn’t lead into constant suicidal ideation though. The ex-gay movement was killed far too young.

i don't enjoy being.

>>42763990
this is true of me too but i cant manage to snap out of it because every path forward in life seems to be full of it i cant imagine having something to look forward to

>>42763966
where do I get a pinkpiller gf

>>42763994
I don’t see how. Maybe it’s different for a transgender repressor, but for me it doubles my feelings of inferiority, so I try to repress it.

>>42764028
For me it's mostly about guilt and not having anyone to relate to

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>>42762213
how cold?
i took picrel last month in -30f (-34c) windchill

>>42764130
about 30 f

>>42764134
30 sounds positively balmy

>>42764181
not for me I'm fragile...

>>42748534
This isn’t real

wish I could embrace living as a male without having dyphoric thoughts coming and going. Ive already accepted I wont ever pass being 5'8 & having a masculine jawline and square headed facial bone structure.

>>42764495
you're 2 inches shorter than my mom stfu

I don't really enjoy or not enjoy being bisexual because I have too much dysphoria to ever consider doing anything romantic or sexual anyways

>>42763833
i've been repping for 15 years and it has quite literally only gotten worse with each year. though I am employed and live a pretty good life on paper, the mental anguish is constant

>>42760291
I tried self help, but I only feel like I'm getting worse. I do not accept my existing situation and my mindset actively hurts me. I am not sure how I can self help myself at tihs point.

>>42763833
same boat, 10 years in the hole. I want to climb out of this though. For me just being percieved has been awful as I feel disgusting and ugly and I feel people see that and agree with the way I feel about myself. So I shut myself away.

>>42766141
I don’t think you are in the same boat. I should’ve specified that I’m a cis male. I’m repressing my sexuality.

>>42766154
/repgen/ is specifically for men who are repressing their desire to exist and belong as women, you might not find a lot of companionship here as a result

>>42766156
The strategies must have some value though. For me, the mantra of worthlessness was a strategy I discovered on my own, not sure if anyone else has it.

>>42748534
1 no, finance doesnt affect me
2 physical newspaper only

its getting pretty bad again, i just wish i could have a normal life why why why

>>42766156
>/repgen/ is specifically for men who are repressing their desire to exist and belong as women
fucking newfag retard. repgen used to have "what are you repressing?" in op. repping homosexuals, poonreppers, etc all belong here as well.

>>42767034
>used to have
take your meds failhon, the future is now

I keep finding ways to shame and doubt myself for every single fucking thing

>>42765535
I have a megahon jawline, a full on ffs would be pretty expesnive especially if im only working at a dead end jon

Metal gear solid and a strong cigarette. Performed masculinity but both things I enjoy.
I still refuse to cut my hair; I wear it in a tight bun, covered by a beanie never removed in public.

starting a degree at nearly 30 years old lol fuck my repper life!

>>42767773
extremely based. gl anon.

>>42767773
starting nothing at 18, my life is already over and everything i fail in everything i touch

>>42767848
I CANT EVEN SPELL

>>42767848
same
>inb4 a groomhon posts about trooning """early"""

>>42767034
>repping homosexuals
ew but not nearly as harmful as an identity crisis
>poonreppers
no such thing

I feel evil for even being attracted to men or women

>>42767848
id rather be doing nothing at 18 than something at 29, i may as well just rope since i wasted too much time.

>>42767034
i'd like to go back to that model if for no other reason than it'd get me to fuck off since i hate femreppers, and this thread just makes me feel worse in the long run
maybe that'd cure me

femreppers would hate me i wouldn't be able to stop myself from yelling at them to transition

>>42769014
>telling people to ruin their femininity because of jealousy
devilish

Do I feel this way because I'm nearly 30 and a virgin or am I nearly 30 and still a virgin because I feel this way

I put my photo into Grok and it went on and on about how my brow is protruding and my jawline is very masculine
By all accounts you'd think a tall white guy with a masculine face would be able to have sex and a relationship but the idea of being the 'man' or acting that way has always made me feel sick
Why did I have to be born so fucked up

>>42767757
tehehe. had similar phase but faggyness still leaked through and was more of tough bit peacocky without appearing faggy. i lifted was 85kg at 185cm felt like fridgedrobe but still wore those fancy button uopshirts and um bell bottoms tight at ass or regural slim jeans. stil ckean shaved and long hair.... more of toned 70s. caused some angry thougs and severe dissociation. walked like gorilla ipoer body but legs bit faggy but less so as they were thicker and muscles tense because of low rep training more like i was braced against potential resistance to be overcomed. stiff and stupid. large part of why guys move like that other is fatness and self minitoring even if subcinscious. inner conflict between desire to be cute and pretty and being tough and strong but latter was inly to avoid feeling of inferiority not true desire of heart

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ooh and overheard deal between uncle and dad. i will be safe in exchange forbsome beneficial stuff for him that will be kept secre cant say more in case its true oh and i got meth and acid. prepare for gloriously wacky walls of texts. hope for another south america vibed trip. feeling itch to drop some psychedelic. laying low and flying high at same time.
threads have been weaved destiny will be fulfilled. anima will be liberated. goodnite dear qeens

>>42770889
Stop doing meth anon.

>>42767034
>repping homosexuals, poonreppers, etc all belong here as well.
Seconding this.

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>>42749250
no but i found a bag of mushrooms on the floor at a party and it's been sitting in my weed box for a few weeks

>>42769232
if it was jealousy i would be trying to get cis women to do it

i think my midface got worse overnight

>>42767034
>>42771165
agree with our fellow poonreppers, they belong here, but homosexual repping is so retarded

>>42768975
> since i hate femreppers
Why? I find them a little silly, but that's clearly my bias here, but why would you hate them?

>>42772286
>homosexual repping is so retarded
There are good reasons to hide being a fag desu.

>>42772334
Well, good reasons to hide, sure. Having DL fuckbuddies is fine, and has been the case for millennia. But actively just repressing it entirely? Just feels silly and pointless.

repressed gay men having sex with repressed trans women

>>42772377
Literally me.

>>42772357
If your sexuality makes you feel uncomfortable you shou absolutely try to repress it.

>>42772386
which one are you

>>42772408
Yes.

>>42772403
literally just download grindr
there is no need to try and hide it anymore
repeat after me: "at least im not deluding myself into thinking im a tranny"

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>>42749250
mushrooms. did not have a good time. ended with my crying in the mirror for like 45 minutes

>>42772486
Unemployed, disgusting, hideous people shouldn’t have sex.

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>>42772543
Sex havers should be put to death. If you want babies, we have the technology for that now

>>42772299
irrational jealousy for being born with the right chromosome, simple as that

>>42772614
It's not irrational

>>42772614

it should've been me. i should've been someone's son. you don't deserve it. you don't understand the humiliation of physical weakness and the constant repression and masking it takes to be a normal cissoid. i think about skinwalking a boyrepper constantly. i hate being fembrained and disgusting. even my rage is manufactured poser shit because of social contagion. ftms aren't real and if they are they have some genetic defect that i was born without. this is female hysteria. i'm hysteric.

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>>42772985
>i'm hysteric
at least you got that much right

god i love weed, need to throw it out
>>42748534
qott: none that are strictly news but some sports sites and more opinion types. mostly just to get around paywalls
qott2: x dot com the everything app
>>42772985
>you don't deserve it.
so true

No dysphoria today, but I have grown to like my middle school gyno. I dont know if I could handle having more of it though

>>42749250
mushrooms congee
i cried my whole day but involved mirrors the least

>>42767254
that's a fair reason, being average height is not.

>>42767034
>poonreppers
yes
>closeted gays
no
>>42771165
all repressing dysphorics belong here

I honestly dont know why im like this, why did I take estrogen for a year when the bones in my face, my stature mean I will never pass, why did I do it when I have no social life? When I have no plans to be anything other than a shut in? I often think about my past self and I know everything I do is just some kind of desperate coping strategy for a meaningless life. The only good things are on the other side of a lot of pain for a long time and I have no way to get there. I envy people who had good parents who took care of them and invested in them, they started off as more than 0 and so they didnt have to worry about how much time they would have to be in a ditch before they could think they are worth anything.

>>42773437
shrooms are tougher than acid nona. psychs and disos do troonbomb "headspace". antirepfuel. self acceptance fuel. rather feel good despite urging you... must be scary for some in-denial hardreps rho

>not allowed to be a girl
>not allowed to kill myself
>everyone hates reppers (for different reasons)
amazing

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DONT. EVEN. TRY

>>42774585
why do you choose to hurt me with this picture

>>42774587
Im gonna hurt you again. They arent even on hrt and they are 25.

>>42774590
why are you doing this to me

>>42774595
you have to look, you have to see reality. its genetics all the way down.

>>42774620
what do I care for reality, you're hurting me. what did I ever do to you

>>42774627
im sorry

>>42774585
they look trans to me, what's your point

>>42774675
they dont even take hrt

i have taken hrt and i look like a weird man. its all pointless.

>>42774681
why does god give his brightest women his manliest bodies

how do i accept i will never be feminine let alone a girl because i waited too long so i can move on with my life before i ruin the rest of it.

i can feel my norwood 3 progressing into a norwood 3a

My wife to me today: You already know how to girlshop better than me.
I'm probably nbaw but 2 months of hrtwinkmaxxing have been shockingly fun. Turns out most people don't give af after all. I showed up in a denim dress at an event and got complimented for looking younger, lol.
Not living in the Anglosphere helps a lot.

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It's too late

>>42775088
This is what happened to me

>>42775252
yep, your browbone fills in and your midface and philtrum get longer and its over.

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The most important thing is to accept that its over and you are going to die unfulfilled. That way you can get past all the days and days of ruminating and stressing over the unfixable, just sink into the void and find something to fill the days. A lifetime is only 20,000 days. Just get through it.

im on dutasteride and anti androgens and my hairline is still getting worse.

>>42775636
Maybe talk to a dermatologist

>>42775088
brutal. if born today they would be some twitter famous passoid transbian of millionaire

>>42775088
i remember 2014, i was 17. everyone was all just like "just be a femboy! dont be a gross tranny they are mentally ill!" god...

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I don't think I can rep it anymore should I talk to my loving and supporting gf about things? I kinda actually really hate myself for this stuff

I had a dream that I was cute and should troon out again.

I remember feeling bad for kurt cobain during the heyday of cobain gay jokes even while not recognising him thinking he must be pathetic af and I would never be like that

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been thinking about some repper subtypes i keep seeing in various places. feel free to add more.

The AGP
>says it's just a fetish, acts like it
>secretly crossdresses from time to time, is terrified of his partner finding out
>has been gooning to tg captions since he touched a computer for the first time
>knows he's weird and gross, but he can't help himself
>tortures himself for his deviant behavior, usually via overworking

The Ponderer
>poster boy of anxiety
>constantly shifts between "i'm going to start transitioning this week" to "i'm not really trans, i just need to get my life in order"
>has been pondering if he should troon out for decades
>could probably have passed if he just stopped overthinking and started years earlier
>high iq but nothing to show for it

The Chud
>hates trannies and himself
>probably posts here to """ragebait""" trannies
>autistic, like, an actual autist
>doesn't transition because he'd never be a real woman, despises mtfs for not understanding "basic logic", while envious at the same time
>has tried to religioncope his way out of this mental torment
>blames da joos for all his failings

The Inebriated
>too high/drunk to be considered conscious
>can't function without something in his system
>dogshit health due to his habits, but he doesn't care
>a clear mind hurts more than any physical pain
>will die early

>>42780325
I think everyone just put different points into these like a skilltree

>>42773466
There is literally nothing wrong with repressing your sexuality because it causes discomfort and psychological distress to you.

it feels like i dont belong anywhere and it was a mistake for me to have ever been born

Ultimately I detrooned because I am afraid to be different or to stand out. I just do what other people want me to

>>42781194
Yeah I was about to say I'm some terrible hybrid of the first three, with different ones being more prominent at different times.

If I decided to rep I would have killed myself at 18 as I had planned since I was 12. Then I trooned out and now I might kill myself at a more normal age like 27 idk. At least I extended my lifespan a little bit.

>>42780325
the thirdie
>would troon in a heartbeat if it were legal or if he could afford to get hrt smuggled in
>too poor to immigrate to somewhere it is legal

>>42780325
>The Ponderer
omg meeeeee :3 :(

>>42775586
Shut up!

>>42781822
twin

the urge to become a cringe goth transbian is returning

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>>42780325
For me, it's The Postponer
>AGAMP GAMP, fuck being a woman, I wanna be a tranny
>actually has everything to succeed, genes, hrt access, diet/workout know-how, money
>highly dependent on a stable routine, "just a little longer and I'll be in a stable situation to be ready to start"
>oops, shit happens, back to square one
>life will never be stable, shit will always happen
>OCD, schizoid
Can people stop dying and getting sick just for a couple of months? Can you follow a fucking routine please? Why are you firing me NOW, D-0, instead of the entire previous decade? What do you mean I have a job interview?

in order to be happy i first have to humiliate myself multiple times

>>42784124
sounds worth

>>42784130
that doesn't make it easier enough

>>42784138
true but i hope it works out for you in the end

>>42780325
What if I fit all from AGP but also:
>constantly shifts between "i'm going to start transitioning this week" to "i'm not really trans, i just need to get my life in order"
>has been pondering if he should troon out for decades
>could probably have passed if he just stopped overthinking and started years earlier
>has tried to religioncope his way out of this mental torment

Anyway, I finally started taking the pills at the beginning of this year. Wife turns out to be shockingly accepting (for now anyway) and bought my first dresses this month.
Maybe iwnbaw but I'm done giving a shit about what others think. Imma enbycope somehow. I already like my skin more and I'm surprised how good I am at picking more feminine outfits that actually look decent on me. Already went at work in enby/fem outfits and I got compliments for it, lol.
Passing through this valley is weird. I'll soon no longer fit in with the reppers but I can't fit in with the trannies either (their brainworms are even worse).
Ig I'll just have to forge my own way somehow. Maybe I find a community of older transfems.

>>42782133
woah I'm this + dog shit health

what an evil world

true

please watch this bit and tell me if i'm seeing things.
https://youtu.be/5sPAyKrk0-s?t=844
to me, she gives strong repper vibes and the explanation makes it worse. "i decided to womanmaxx because i realized i couldn't become the boy i've always wanted to be" kind of mentality.

>>42784685
>I'm never going to be a better boy than the boy sitting next to me
Oh my.

>>42780325
The can never troon but okay with it not trying to cope with toxic copes type?

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>>42782626
iktf I wish I was more cringe and goth when I was trans

>>42780325
Mix of all four. I am extremely hypocritical in many ways and it drives me crazy.

>>42784477
why?

>>42789347
forced to deal with social shit. unavoidable suffering. living ones suffering, not understanding, dying. beauty waning. body rotting alive. anger fear conflict everywhere. media and people oozing with negativity.

lightened my hair to blonde and it's nice to feel like I'm doing something feminine with my appearance even if I'm a guy

I am just agp, but since I want to find love, the only thing to do is to be a man because that's the only way I can find love.

>12
>I want to be just like her
>13
>crossdressing secretly
>15
>I need to man up
>18
>I don't have money
>22
>My parents will disown me if I start trap shit
>25
>Boss asked if I gay or not because everyone have family except me. Said Im not gay. Fired.
>26
>Unemployable neet who depends on parents
>27
>Yeah repressing healthy

>>42789442
You might be right but I think it's more people fault
not world

>>42790340
You were fired for not being gay?

>>42790340
wow you fucked up
troon out now you still ahve time before you are 30

im not even trans why am i here why take hrt why bother
why exist
im fake
im not human
i dnt exist
i wanna die
i hope i do
i hate myself

>>42790340
>9
>touched
>start feeling the emptiness
>think "i hope im reincarnated as a girl"
>12
>the emptiness turns into unrelenting self loathing
>think "i really wish I was a girl"
>16
>mom asks if im gay, I tell her I like girls. Guys at school call me a fruitcup
>start smoking weed every day
>19
>the weed made me forget all the previous points
>stop smoking weed
>they come back
>realize im definitely trans and bisexual and probably have to do something about it
>decide that I have to lose my virginity to a girl before I do any gay stuff
>20
>first kiss
>meet wife
>lose virginity
>21
>decide the tranny shit was a phase begin true repping
>24
>realize it definitely wasn't a phase but I dont know how to fix it now
>25
>I have a plan but its not gonna be clean

QHY
AM I EVEN HERE
PLEASE
KILL ME

I HOUKDNT EXIST

>>42790511
>You were fired for not being gay?

No.
Does it actually matter? I was Le bad worker.

>>42790524
>wow you fucked up
>troon out now you still ahve time before you are 30
No.

>>42790539
>20
>>first kiss
>>meet wife
>>lose virginity

I technically virgin now. And always remain like that because bottom.

Now I get it.
I'm very cute actually but ut in a ugly way.

Ugly ugly ugly ugly loser subhuman way

i wish i was aborted instead of being born a male.

Holly digits absolutely the same

Women put their flaws on display, and it's immediately perceived by society as something cool. Men, as always, suck.

>>42790703
i'm ugly in an ugly way
>>42790727
sure
>>42790888
sick digits
>>42791780
man strong!

>>42790888
same ;_;
the world would be a better place without me

>>42791804

>i'm ugly in an ugly way

>man strong

So you just look like actual man.
Not effeminate freak.

I just killed a mouse. I feel so guilty

i'm spending too much time looking longingly at my faceapp reflection

nausea-inducing anxiety again

>>42792329
don't feel guilty. laugh. life is meaningless. nothing matters. i stir the coffee of female coworkers with my dick

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GET OUT OF MY HEAD

Every day I wake up and have to take an hour just to accept that its over before I enter my depression slump for the day.

>>42792662
Did that ten years ago. Wow. ten years ago. I thought it was over then. I wish I could go back. At least I'll blink and my life will be over.

how do you come out to someone
how do you come out to someone close to you where they probably won't hate you but you really don't want to shock them with a major change

>>42790539
>>24
>>realize it definitely wasn't a phase but I dont know how to fix it now
>>25
>>I have a plan but its not gonna be clean
me but at 30.
Took another almost 7yrs to finally order the pills.
Hope your plan works faster or at least you try.