>>42840263
fuck no why would I do that

They also encouraged you to use the womens bathroom

im going to get ffs and im going to lower my dose from 6mg to 5mg because 6mg is also way worse. furthermore the pictures from before and after i tried to do myself in are so different. im an entirely different person now

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another rockstar and vodka then I'm down to just the gin and wine... I guess I can't put it away like I thought I just get too lethargic

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>>42840263
I tried on my mom's underwear and clothing as a very young kid - I don't remember what happened but I started repressing actively at six years old and actively beating down that part of myself into a filthy bloodstained corner to fearfully lash out every time anyone even remotely hinted at something I did that was feminine or "for girls"

then I bought some amazon basics shit cringe starter kit as a 30 year old balding neet loser before I tried hrt just to see if crossdressing was enough and slept in a bra every night just to feel something on my chest

Sort of I would sneak out of the house in the depth of night girlmoded, biked around, walked the streets downtown, it was rather melancholic but a nice memory.

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man

i dont even cry anymore i just get a thousand yard stare

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this is like the look/outfit that broke me again as a teenager my fujo friends in high school dressed me up as a girl for halloween and something inside me died

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FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU I'm trying to self-help and educate myself not be preached or proselytized at

>>42840370
Would mog me if they did the eyebrows

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>>42840392
xhe gigamogs me

>>42840395
Unironically kinda pretty just needs some work the shoulders are a little grim but otherwise mogs me

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>>42840403
if only she would take her hrt, retard...

well at least i know detransition is absolutely not an option at all ever. jfc imagine letting that happen to yourself (oh wait)

do you moders refer to yourself internally with your troon name assuming you have one or no

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>>42840433
no
I got mad at two people recently for using my troon name that I shouldn't have told them or even selected or shared but it was the alternative my parents had picked out and it was something I always wondered about like why they were expecting a girl
I have no real name because I am nothing, just a bitter insane ghost, but I use my given weirdo male name in mundane day to day interactions

saw my tits posted on /b/ again award

>>42840370
>>42840395
>>42840408
he’s like 40 and still a happy repper, it’s possible!!

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Just measured my midface using like 20 different pictures of me and am now convinced that cameras are bullshit and evil since I I got either 0.95-0.94 or like 0.91-0.88. I know it’s longer but since I have BDD I basically have no clue how my face looks. Gonna start jellyfish posting again also cuz they’re pretty to look at and make me feel nice

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>>42840504

>>42840541
>>42840541
More details no one gaf about but these were all taken tonight in the span of multiple minutes using two different locations and the same distance away from my face so I genuinely don’t know what happens there. I think I just need to try and practice doing makeup a shit ton more regularly and do my eyebrows and whatnot so I can actually feel like I have some hope in my appearance instead of having schizo crashouts

CREATE OR REPLACE SHITPOST
LANGUAGE bullshit
AS $$
BEGIN
IF imma_hit_submit_b4_midnight()
THEN RAISE NOTICE 'imma chug a tub of pain 2 muh bug brain'
RETURN;
END IF;
END;
$$;

>>42840561
i would suck xyr dick so godamn hard

fuck y'all
INCITE RIOTS LOOT CARS LIGHT FIRES
DEATH TO AMERICA
DEATH TO ISRAEL
DEATH TO GERMANY
DEATH TO ENGLAND
DEATH, DEATH, DEATH, DEATH, DEATH!!1

free Ireland
free Palestine
scalp Evangelical Prostants
rape Nazis

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freeing myself

MIX RACES CLIMB WALLS HAVE SEX DO DRUGS KILL COPS BREAK LAWS FUCK SCHOOL STEAL SHIT

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mixing the contents of my skull with the local atmosphere

free ireland from the irish

>>42840768
>>42840785
attain non-attachment by recognizing everything as impermanent
life is suffering

There is no savoir or almighty God; liberation of the self is the responsibility of the individual

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impermanence and the fleeting nature of our time existing consciously is precisely the reason to form and cherish equally impermanent and meaningless attachment
>life is suffering
yeah and I can't fucking take it anymore without the things that make it bearable and worthwhile

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unfit
unsuited
unwanted
unneeded
unnecessary

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unloved

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unattached

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uxclarft

I'm such a fake tranny...

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ucky-wucky-goo-ga

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my only reason for sticking around was probably just some self-indulgent bullshit after all I won't bother there's nothing left

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xd l0lz0rs

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nothing to be upset about in the end

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nevergoing to be good enough aw ard

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ruijs fucking everything award

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nobody will ever awnt me or love me award

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lol

why do you have so many retarded images

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lmao

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fell for it again award

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should have known better award

Sed sine dolore non vivitur in amore.

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shouldn't have ever tried award

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should havej ust fucking died award

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nothing left to do or fix or try awar

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deaqd tran walking award

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nothing to no one award

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it's been a week I cant;' do this awrd

>>42840352
Hows your hair these days

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>>42841177

THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH A HOLE IN MY FUCKING HEAD

>>42841180
Yeah its tough.
If you want to die try heavy drugs instead. Its way better and will make your life go by on autopilot

>>42841177
DIE

I don't watn to do this anymore

>>42841206
fuck you

>>42841206
why would I care what you say you're but her

>>42841234
Sorry

I'm never good enough for anyone

I can't tell going like this

I can't sleep anymore I find I'm afraid

I'm scared of dying in scared of it burning the roof of my mouth or the back of my head or choking on my own blood

what if it hurts

but everything hurts right now and I can't do so thing to make it better I lost everything of worth I had

I didn't judge another fifteen years in me

I'm afraid of being alone

I'm always alone I've always been alone I'm die alone everything does alone in the end

I spent so long alone

I'm never be good enough for m anyone nothing I do will ever be enough for anyone

why will to fuck with my hey but not take to my system

why do you hate me

I'm so fucking tired but I'm returned to sleep

the kit I'm alone the worse I get

why do you love me

there's nothing I can do while

>>42841357
why weren't i6

no one wants s bald ugly insane freak

I don't want to sleep I wake up sobbing and can't remember why

it's better for everyone that's this way
my

>>42841405 I'm üyy
I can't tell whats really anymore

I don't want you result why aren't you tuff l get is been a week I can't I trying

ir don't tov do this anymore

no on will ever love me

please come back

written said not to beg but I don't cash

>>42840771
so much this

I hate men

I'm so tired please

I can't do this anymore I can't do this

guys please

i can't get what's real

I didn't want to

wha5 if it hurts

>>42841694
Wish I could be happy being a man instead of a freak

never be ok an I get to do it this way

gonna eat hamburgers for breakfast

WHY IS IT TO EASY FOR YOU TO MOVR ON

WHY DIDN'T IT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU

YOU AREA EVERYTHING TO MY

Uber the chin

>>42841813
c NOTHING

under the chin. ADAMS APPLE WISH ANGLE

>>42841133
why do in here but you can why do you hair me

>>42840814
8 know is you why please

>>42840771
I known

attic to sleep aria to die

I keep to alone for days why

you won't miss me in morning to you

I'm sorry I said I how's I read your obituary you can mine now

I'm sorry

I went mail the dress and book I'm just so it tonight better I just made this worst

no mementos I m sorry I was going to do it on your doorstep I'll do it here o it t of your way

I'm sorry for being such a burden

York be the last thing I see I want to see your face when I do it and try to remember when i though you lived me I this I was happy

never forget even when my brains learn out

I'm sorry it's not your fault I'm you're never your face ok I'm sorry just going to look and do it

told her that her new friend makes me feel insecure and that she should stop talking to her but she just laughed

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here we go no more tears you told me not to cry away

being a bpdemon must blow chunks

god this must have been what my drunk texting to my ex looked like when it was really bad

>>42841975
it sucks she makes me so happy but when im not around her i feel miserable and drained barely alive

i want to kill myself

>>42841087
my butt looks like this how do i fix it?

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jokes on god lol i dont even wanna be a woman

>>42842407
lotion

>>42840352
then what happened?

Yeezy season approachin'
Fuck whatever y'all been hearin'
Fuck what, fuck whatever y'all been wearin'
A monster about to come alive again
Soon as I pull up and park the Benz
We get this bitch shaking like Parkinsons
Take my number and lock it in
Indian hair, no moccasins
It's too many hoes in this house of sin
Real nigga back in the house again
Black Timbs all on your couch again
Black dick all in your spouse again
And I know she like chocolate men
She got more niggas off than Cochran, hah!

[Kanye West:]
On sight, on sight

[Kanye West:]
How much do I not give a fuck?
Let me show you right now 'fore you give it up
How much do I not give a fuck?
Let me show you right now 'fore you give it up

>qot
one time in hs during a drama club lock-in my frens did a drag competition

i wish i was 9 listening to ye on my friend’s porch as his brother biked to buy us sandwiches. i wish dysphoria didnt makd me insane. being a guy is deadass so fire too but my fuckass brain has sex dysphoria. sex dysphoria and no gender dysphoria, how retarded is that

i feel empty

i hate this guy life, wasted my early twenties btw and late teens

>can;t see my ribs anymore
god i hate being a fat fuck so much

>can see my ribs but im still fat and losing weight only makes my hips smaller
i hate being a MAN

>>42840541
just go measure the midface of a friend you think has a good midface and then measure yours in the mirror the same way

>>42840440
>I have no real name because I am nothing, just a bitter insane ghost, but I use my given weirdo male name in mundane day to day interactions
mood
why does shit here resonate with me so often despite being a cisstraggot
(rhetorical question, I know why)

>>42840320
>im an entirely different person now
post proof

>>42840117
what was this

why do men talk to me like I give a fuck

>>42842638
They like to lecture they don't care if you care really they just like the position of power

>>42842638
we like to feel impressive and lecturing to an intent listener feels that way

>>42840263
Is picrel real? It cant be real

>>42842692
You're a manmoder not a man lia

>>42842724
Itsrael

getting all my hair cut off in two days

>>42840370
This reminds me of something that happened when I was a teenager. I and a friend went to a costume party dressed as women, but all we did was put on dresses. We didn't do makeup or put on wigs or anything. We won the prize for best costume (we shared it), and I felt so bad because there was a girl there whose costume looked great and she'd clearly put a ton of effort into it. I don't remember what character she was dressed as, but it was this elaborate cosplay thing like you see at conventions. All we'd done was buy a couple of old lady dresses at Good Will. I felt so bad for her.

men are like dogs, they are eager to share and it’s cute but if you don’t respond correctly there’s a high chance of violence. that said i love when men autistically lecture it’s cute and i tune out everything they’re saying except how it makes me feel

>uses it’s cute twice
have i been psyopped by the man lobby?? wtf i have nothing better to say about them than partonizingly thinking they’re “cute” why tf do i want one then

>>42842731
untrue i am all that is man

>>42842875
liar

just stirred some food in the pan while smoking a cigarette and humming love and the marriage

go together like a horse and carriage!

heaven brings forth innumerable things to nuture moder
moder has nothing good with which to recompense heaven
kill kill kill kill kill kill kill

>>42841167
back in like 2011 somebody told me i was like the character kn the right. never watched the anime though. maybe we could watch it together anongamoose? >w<''

>>42842925
heaven asks only for you my sweet moder :)

the men who give me stuff are probably desperate af to please me because I literally never show any interest on what they have to say, I just nod and do some fake laughs

>>42843022
do the local mcdonald's workers know who you are

>>42842992
what kind of stuff do you get

>>42843064
aids

im an evil witch

>>42843044
i hope not cause i spilled soda last time and it extra embarassing

>>42843187
loser drinks soda lol

I girlmoded a bit sometimes, like going out at midnight to the skatepark to fuck around. Fukkk also i cant stand starting to like guys i hate it, sometimes I get that attraction feeling and I cant help it.

>>42843064
chocolate boxes, money, clothes, flowers
two months ago some guy I don't even remember the name gave me a smartwatch lol

>>42843241
get a girlfriend

>>42840263
lmao i remember this is how therapists wanted you to do it pre like 2016 and it was quite literally why i didn't troon out back then

>>42843244
hopefully one of those orbiters goes full psycho and rapes you

>>42843253
The problem is i already have a gf but still have this attraction towards guys i cant help, like butterflys in stomach feeling

i wish i were a cute twinkhon

>>42843296
we all do, we all do

>>42843229
fanta is good for you actually

im a pretty princess

>>42843289
the husserflies are real i get them when im in close proximity to tall guys

>>42843472
your a bastard girl and have no claim to the throne

>>42843473
for me its nerdy guys with fluffy hair, something about them makes my heart explode

women liking men is disgusting

>>42843463
It was made for Nazis, and they were all about fitness...

i think metalhead guys r cute

>>42843507
:( how comeeee

>>42843485
noooooo
the throne will be mine.........

>>42840263
What's the best pokemon game? I don't really play video games but pokemon seem cool

>>42843552
gosh i had a friend who was a metal head and i couldn't help getting flusterd when we hanged out sometimes

>>42843567
pokepark wii

>>42843582
Nah I want to play an actual pokemon game

>>42843567
pokemon colosseum/xd

>>42843567
personally i'm a big fan of the ds/3ds games, i think i would recommend X or Y

>>42843567
heartgold

>>42843623
>>42843593
>>42843592
Thank you

guys with tummy trails........

im still in a dream manmoder

>>42843289
yikes
>>42843283
what's your damage

>>42843656
Well fuck now I gotta do this

wait no I don't that would be embarrassing as hell

i think you should it would be funny for a few seconds

>>42843663
yeahhhhhhhhhhh

I hate men

im a bi lesbian

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>>42843592
holy shit someone with some taste

>>42843567
pokemon ranger

>wake up
>no dick in my face
>go back to sleep

>>42843737
those games got me so good when i was a kid. like i played sapphire first and loved it but hoenn very much felt like the real world for the most part, whereas orre was like this way more fantastical setting i couldn't get enough of. plus double battles are straight up just better

not being around her makes me so fucking miserable

my hips make me feel rage and then i think about the animals and i realize this world is hell and then i cry. every day, multiple times a day

i hate men so fucking much

i can't barely hide my disdain towards them :/

honestly? yeah i hate men too

sometimes i think men arent that bad and then realize all the ones i like are practically reppers

>>42844072
wanna hold hands and day shit like "you're my everything" to each other in public to make forever alone people miserable

>>42844090
not really, im way too insecure and unstable for a relationship. im biowaste

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i pray every day that humanity is filtered and dies on our planet

bring on scabies summer

i don't have anything against women they just look kinda gross and their bodies disgust me

performative

and yet you wish to be one

>>42844106
we can make it work :/

women are gods, not cis women though they’re just people, men are rocks, animals are also people, except male ducks. plants are people but theyre killable people and fungus are cumming in our mouths so it’s ethical to enjoy them

>>42844157
you literally don't even know what that word means
>>42844160
i use estrogen recreationally to get closer to my ideal of the perfect man

i love cis women and real women equally <3

i cant make that joke because my hips are so fucked i dont even read as a trans woman

>>42843567
>playing porkmon past the age of 10
ngmi

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gonna rollerblade with her in a few hours :3

Imma make w pizza tomorrow.
I fucking wasted the day today and nothing ever happens. At least im not super sad but im burning throgh time and not even alive so whats the point why bother

>>42844362
kys

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>>42844387
Genuinely might at some point.
Do yiu guuuys want pizza pics tomorrow?

DIE

how do i stop the crippling jealousy

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Moders, have you ever girlmoded?

you guys cooked anything good lately?

yea basically everyday

du has(s)t mich

mein Herz in Flammen,
Will dich lieben und verdammen.
Deutschland! dein Atem kalt...
...So jung und doch so alt.

>>42844566
no
nice hair

>>42844566
never will because i am 6'2 and ugly

>>42844567
opened a bag of frozen chicken + bratkartoffel + veggies and put it in the pan and that was pretty good

>>42844566
bück dich

i don't speak ss

>>42844566
You mean womenmoded. And yes but I'm babytrans so it's cringe

>>42844633
>bratkartoffel
german is such a stupid language, why is that your word for home fries?

>>42844667
>homo fries
hah gaaaay *bursts in tears*

>>42844667
home fries? do you have office fries? perhaps forest fries? what makes them home? the german word makes more sense here

>>42844678
because they're rustic and easy to make at home, whereas the kind of fries you get at a restaurant are a bit more involved.

>>42844678
they already know the concept of naming by shape they know wedges they are just retarded as you can see with the measurement system

>>42844667
>german is such a stupid language
Ihre Ausweise, bitte.

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I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE!!

>>42842606
how long it took methy to kill chuddy

my fp is vegan should I go vegan too

if she's vegan and you're not i don't think that's your fp

What does fp mean

fart penis

Did anyone here try growing their hair out, doing tons of skincare stuff, piercing their ears, or other aesthetic changes, while they were pre hrt and repressing?
I am currently doing all this. Psychologically the appeal of this is the fact that it's making me less masculine. Will this satisfy me long term, or is it a gateway drug to hrt? What is your experience?

Ever since I started E my farts smell weird

>>42845005
you're a spineless idiot

>>42845005
you're going to kill yourself in 20 years

>>42845010
can i smell

>>42845027
No

>>42845022
20 years isn't bad. I already want to kms, I have bipolar

>>42844850
tf do you know
>>42844859
favorite person

>>42845057
nta but why'd you ask then dipshit? also what kind of fucking stupid thing to have is a "favorite person" is she your best friend? gf? wife? why not say that? are you five years old?

https://www.verywellmind.com/who-is-a-favorite-person-to-someone-with-bpd-5203892

>>42845005
Ion got no hair to grow out

>>42845077
npc behavior your replies are useless

fingers in MY ass?

>>42845149
shove it up your ass you dumb zoomer

fingers ain't enough, go elbow deep bb

i wish i was a twink cutehon

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i got SA'd in the bomb shelter

>>42845450
Thats fucked up

im a cute twinkhon

im a honktwin

I'm honestly just an ugly bald slavic man who looks middleaged and never had much of a youth.

I will unironically kill myself.

i'm a hick twanghon

im an american badass

>>42845547
Use tretinoin, or retinaldehyde if tretinoin is too strong, to reduce wrinkles. Use microneedling on the face if there are bad wrinkles. Use red light also.

>>42845547
why there are plenty of ugly fuckers on this world having fun

>>42845450
what happened? where?

>>42845450
israelimoder...

>>42845575
Theyre genuinely sub 80 IQ and dont realize how fucked they are. I've met them.
>>42845573
I need a slip for tretinoin but i microneedle scalp and face once every three weeks. I want to get into collagen banking.
Wont help me anyway bc im brootally bald and thinned out.
Very little to no point in being a sub5 male.
As a slav you see a lot of dysgenic sub5s and theyre almost all alcoholics. Sometimes they have wives who dont fuck them and spike their cortisol 24/7 or maybe even kids they dont talk to and wageslave for if they get rly lucky.
Most of them just hang around construction sites, drink during work hours and clock in clock out chill.

Like its a whole world of people who are nothing, do nothing of worth and actively desire to kill themselves with unironic poison. And i'm one of them in spite of all of my efforts.

Foid foid go away spike my cortisol another day

cm can you go do this literally anywhere else on the internet?
there's actually not a SINGLE person that wants you here why don't you just fucking leave

>>42845683
No one ever wants me here.
Ive done the same bit in countless places already and briefly irl and people always tell me to fuck off.
Im choosing to be selfish in this instance because if i dont let the steam out somewhere i will go clinically insane and slice my wrists in a mcdonalds bathroom.
You can(and should) mute the fucking trip you niggerkike faggot retard.

i don't want to mute you i want you to leave or fucking kill yourself already you pussy

either go to the repgen where you belong or just kill yourself already GOD

>>42845728
I'm actually lowk considering the suicide.
I have it more or less planned out in my head but i'm a giant pussy.
I should read up on some sui forums on how ppl gather the courage.
I think if i managed to dget myself yo the decisive spot i would go through with it but i'm pretty good at not going insane.

https://youtu.be/cHjeWV7QL-8

Can i post music i like also

no fuck off

>>42845775
so long as its not coal

>>42845760
coal

beautiful clean coal

>>42845789
this one def is actually coal mb i just have a thing for weird ambient

>>42845799
it's not even weird, this is just chill lo-fi beats to study to type shit

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march…i am forgotten
apparently a week and a half staying off 4chan is enough for the captcha to make you wait before you can even request :/

>>42845834
? there is literally not music

>>42845836
it feels like i haven't seen you in years

>>42845858
it's literally just the soundtrack to Inception

>>42845870
that’s the way time moves in mmg. every time i was reminded of how objectively little time there was between shit that happened here i felt insane

maybe im going crazy..

>>42845836
choo choo

>>42845947
do you choo choose me? :3

>>42845981
i choo choo choose lia sorry nona

I HATE BEING MALE

>>42845984
elfi off trip or did lia simps spring into existence while i was gone?

im like.. im like a WOMAN with a MAN’S BODY and it makes me look DUMB and for that reason NOBODY VALUES ME except the truth is nobody can tell so i’m just a feminine twink and i shouldn’t feel insecure but i have extreme dysphoria and it runs my life

FEMININE IN DEMEANOR BUT NOT BODY BECAUSE OF MY HIPS OOOH WHYY

i touch myself to cm's suffering

some nonas here touch themselves to cis moids in general. much to think about

those people need to be saved

>>42846060
is the implication that I am cismoid? of course he must be a mocking version of me because i deserve it. but i’m not a cismoid and i dont even act like one so realLy it’s insulting and not even funny it’s not my fault i got raped and went insane and now my hips are small many people get raped and it ruins their lives and they always get empathy but because i ruined your tranny janny hangout im a cismoid somehow. well im not so shove it up yours where the sun don’t shine

i think she was just actually talking about cismoid, i don’t think anyone here would read a comment talking about feminine personality and think it’s coming from cm

what if i sucked your dick so hard all the blood vessels in it burst and your dick was all bruised and swollen and painful

>>42846015
i doubt anybody would simp for me dw

might as well sink in a canine or two and get to the blood
SHINES JUST LIKE GLITTER

girl im not gocking you omfg

>>42846147
is that a feminine thing to say cause i act like that and now you really are mocking me… i thought being sober was supposed to heal me but it turns out drugs were good and keeping me happy lol but i need to stay sober for surgery i want to blow my brains out ffs will not be enough i feel so hopeless and small inside my gigantic male body

>>42846148
okay but can you gock me THO? asking for a friend
>>42846163
that was a reply to >>42846126 and you need to get ffs or else I WILL SUFFER AND DIE

heeeeeeeeeeelp

ellipses

do any moders want to have a date at eleven madison park in april? i won’t tell you which menu to order but if you order the wrong one im spilling my wine on you and then leaving you with the bill

ok not humble bragging or anything but why my feet look so big? I'm 7.5 women's and still looks massive

>>42846229
normal womens feet arent that big

just kidding i would never give money to a formerly vegan establishment! that would reward their carnism!!! retard lol im going to chisngmai diner tonight

why did you come back here

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barely missed two different trains when i got to the station but i think this is the super secret one going to my destination

i wanna molest coalposter on the train
and who would stop me if i did? nobody, that's who.

>>42846271
id stop you, you're weak

post mommy muscles

>>42846276
i am stronger and faster than you

>>42846240
wanna split the nur yang prik num?