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Was due to go and see a concert for my dad's birthday tonight. It was a three hour drive away and its someone we have both wanted to see for a long time. I am in my mid twenties now but I have gone to see concerts with him since I was 13 up until I was 19. Then last year we went to a couple again after not going to them for years. There was a failed attempt in 2023 after I'd become somewhat fucked in the head. It was a good time but I managed to go no problem in 2025.

But now we come to today, I woke up this morning feeling like shit. Anxiety pumping, stress levels reaching maximum and a bad stomach from bad food choices night before. I've just let him down massively by saying I can't go. That's £200 down the drain I will now have to pay back which is fine. I just feel so pathetic and rightly so, this was a shitty thing to do.

I feel empty, I don't know what has happened to me where the prospect of driving three hours there and back (something we used to do in my teens without issue) has become so mentally demanding.

I am weak, I am a waste of space and I don't expect anything other than insults in the comments, thank you all.