Thread #84050425
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So I'm in my 30's now and I've reached a level of depression beyond depression.
I just feel nothing. I don't even feel sad or low energy or anything, I'm just empty. Nothing causes me pain, but nothing causes me joy either. It's like my emotions were turned off. I'm not complaining or asking for sympathy or solutions, but just curious if anyone else has experienced the same thing? I feel like I've beaten a video game 100% and there's nothing left to do and I'm just sat there with no other games to play.
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>>84050428
There's levels to it, like autism.
The most common and early-onset experience is feeling like you're drowning in sadness and anxiety and despair no matter what's actually happening in your life, good or bad.
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>>84050425
I read about this once.
"In I Never Promised You a Rose Garden (written by Hannah Green), the schizophrenic protagonist Deborah describes the inner kingdom of Yr, a complex imaginary world she has created. Within that world, she speaks of multiple "planes" or levels of existence. The fourth plane is depicted as a stark, desolate realm beyond suffering and beyond feeling. It is a place where emotions no longer exist - no pain, but also no love, joy, or connection. Rather than being peaceful in a comforting sense, it feels empty and annihilating, a kind of ultimate withdrawal from human experience."
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>>84050453
Interesting. It does feel like I'm not part of the human race anymore, that I've been locked out. It's not a monk's peace, it's more like being stuck in a waiting room with no sense of progression and no catharsis of finally having your name called.