>>84051784
because you've been hurt doing all of those things before
or because you can't trust closed ones because they were all batshit insane growing up
or both

>>84051784
>why do i also feel horribly disgusted when people show pity or empathy towards me?
Some people pretend to be "good" to either get into one's pants or do it to feed their ego? It's really fucked.
>why am i horribly repulsed by the idea of confiding in my feelings to someone else
I guess you tried that as a vulnerable kid and have gotten made fun of by assholes, mayhaps?
I operate under the assumption that no-one actually cares besides people I trust. And I don't trust anyone yet but I have still a bit of hope I'll find one real person some day. Embrace stoicism until you find your person, anon.

>>84051784
idk i just ghost women who are nice to me

>>84051784
when you keep being punished for something, you start to negatively view that something.

I'm not "repulsed" by emotional vulnerability but I can't really do it, and if someone forces it out of me I ghost their ass because I'm subconsciously expecting the other shoe to drop and if I cut off contact, they can't hurt me with what I opened up about.

>>84052047
>I operate under the assumption that no-one actually cares besides people I trust. And I don't trust anyone yet but I have still a bit of hope I'll find one real person some day.
I'm like that except I don't expect it to ever happen nor do I trust anyone but myself, getting to trust someone and the reciprocally requires exposing yourself a bit and if we can't then it's not happening. I only share things about my feelings on the internet and even then I barely do it

The answer is you're a coward and a weakling and intrinsically aware of your own inadequacy so you compensate by being withdrawn

>>84052144
Not OP but try better bait next time pls

>>84052117
Yeah, I've lived this long only relying on myself so the thought of relying on someone else feels alien to me now. Good thing is that lifting stabilizes my mood (makes it easy to be stoic) and I feel fine being alone. Beats the hell out of the alternative that I knew growing up so I guess it's fine. Could be worse. Much worse. Whenever I see couples fight about stupid shit I'm so fucking glad I don't have to deal with that shit.

>>84052166
>can't refute this, better characterize it as muh ragebait, now I have the last laugh

>>84052324
I agree, you definitely get used to being alone and it has its advantages. Still, I would have prefered to be a socially functioning human being. For all the pain trying to connect with others has caused it also brought a lot of fun for the few times it worked out too bad it's never happening ever again.

>>84052356
Why should it never happen again if you've managed to do it in the past, anon? Don't be silly, anon. :D