> Hanging at da spot with muhniggas (the ER)
> Ayo dis nigga cant breathe
> Administer furosemide, hydrocortisone and salbutamol/ipratropium
> Refer to specialist if dat yt devil shit dont work

Its all so tiresome

Why is the medical field (not docs spefically) so hoighty-toity? We stick to this archaic system of training our medical professions where there's only 1 path to each profession in the field.
Why are there no training programs to turn Nurses and PAs into full physicians, for example? And no, nurse practitioner is not the same.
Honestly I think the whole field has a stick up its ass and prefers there to be fewer physicians.

>What do you guys think of sonic disassociation?

>>16916301
You ever watched the pit? Tiresome how thode hollywood bums glaze them retards at the ER.

>>16916351
>Main ER doc is a Jew
>Everyone is brown or "diverse"
>Every non-jew white man is retarded and incompetent
>DEI shit everywhere
>le COVID PTSD
Why the fuck do people like this Frankfurt School slop? Americans must hate themselves beyond repair

>>16916351
Better than glazing the retards in gensurge

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>had a severe humerus fracture
>socialized healthcare country so I was given fast surgical treatment with the best care no questions asked
>look up online, amerimutts treat this fracture with conservative treatment that involves the arm immobilized for 10 months
>meanwhile me after a month can live by myself with no arm cast, will return to job in another month
>a fat butthurt amerilard got mad that I was "glazing an expensive surgical procedure"

Land of the Free, Home of the Brave AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

>>16916301
maybe nigga had a pulmonary embolism, hope you checked D-dimers

>>16916407
who cares about your country lol

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/med/anons, I wish to lay down a medical scenario, taken straight out of a recent episode of a popular series.
An adult, male, between late 30s to early 40s has suffered a grievous blow to the back of the head, among other minor injuries. The man was wearing a helmet, but was not adjusted to his own head size.
Can he be saved with our current-day medical techniques?

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>>16916421
picrel is how the victim got his main injury.

>>16916304
The knowledge and skill base of an RN is so wildly different, that even if you were to accept the strawman that physicians don't remember organic chemistry, etc. in their day to day work, it would require an immense amount of training to meaningfully teach the knowledge used in differential diagnosis. The whole NP ecosystem in the US specifically exists because most NPs don't want do the actual training and education to become a physician, hence their lobbying campaign for equivalence.

>>16916424
>>16916421
a fractured cranium? that can heal
or we could give him a cap of plastic or metal

>>16916471
Sometimes it doesn't even need to heal. I've heard of one guy who took like 6 months to be diagnosed with a basilar skull fracture after going to the doctor with a runny nose.

Public healthcare btw

>>16916304
in my country doctors / physicians unironically induce artificial scarcity to allow them to demand higher wages in private and public healthcare positions.
no i will not elaborate as i simply can't be bothered to show how this is done.

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>8 hr shift
>followed by 2 hours of simulation
>4 hours of library revision
>and a 2 hour drive home
nothing better than blasting some oldschool death metal after a long day of helping no one and feeling like a utter retard for deciding to PAY to study medicine

>>16916542
Theres no way you were productive that whole time.

>>16916547
He did say he helped no one

>>16916547
absolutely not.
it took me two hours to answer a single question about the neuronal signaling mechanisms of the sigmoid colon, after which i blanked out completely and essentially stared at a textbook wanting to cry.

Any pathologyChads ITT?

>>16916564
yeah, i look at something, say its infected, then throw my favorite antibiotic at it.
works most of the time ezpz

>>16916595
What is the second-line option

>>16916299
you guys wanna hear something crazy? every night I go to sleep, if I do nothing, I'm nearly falling asleep and a super strong single heart beat wakes me up, to counter this I have to do running on my run, like I just jog without moving just moving my legs and my body, I do like 4 or 5 sprints, that removes the disturbing heart beat from my sleep

>>16916612
Whoa....

>>16916615
what? I self medicate this way

>>16916564
I want to apply to pathology.

>>16916421
Can he be kept alive? If hes close enough to a NCx team and an ICU hes got a decent shot at probably maybe making it.

Will his brain perform enough of its functions to carry on and live what you would consider a worthy life? Very likely not but maybe yes.

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>>16916471
>>16916507
That's good to hear, of how resilient our bodies can be (at least for a while) in spite of such trauma.
>>16916650
Hmm, I see.
So it would seem to be essential how fast the injury was addressed, but even then side-effects would be hard to avoid.

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>>16916669
Btw, thank you for indulging on my question. A few anons have been inquiring on this matter for a few days, at the /tv/ board.
Compliments from /got/hotd/dunk/ general.

>>16916609
death i guess

Can my doctor tell what is wrong with me by smelling my farts?
For example if I bring farts in to the appointment with me in a jar can he smell them to tell me?

i hate when a patient makes it a point to say theyre a lawyer. are they looking for me to fuck up so they can sue me, or do they just want me to pull out every test to make sure nothing is wrong?

>>16916857
they're making you aware their observations may be off baseline as they have no pulse duh

>>16916304
>Why are there no training programs to turn Nurses and PAs into full physicians, for example?
Same reason there's no training programs to turn construction workers into engineers

>tfw the acutely bleeding abdomen is so bad you can actually see the fat lady's abs

>>16916857
They're making you aware that every word out of their mouth is a lie

Porn and loving politicians is a public health crisis and I refuse to be quiet any longer. Why do gooners and gomers get the right to vote? Why do women? What a cursed world. Woe to all men everywhere. Fucking HR girlies too. This adult daycare with benefits needs to end. I look forward to the coming judgement of the living and the dead.

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>go to library to revise anatomy since ADHD demon will absolutepy refuse to focus at home
>library has got a new 'open plan' redesign since last visit
>literal screaming and crying children everywhere
>go back home after 1 hour and half a page of notes
when did this happen ?
i thought the library was a place of quiet study, not a gosh darn nursery !

>>16916542
That is proper death metal alright. Shame on their recent shit.

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>>16917022
those kids must have ADHD and need meth

>>16916669
Craneal fracture is probably the least of your worries in that scenario. That brain has sustained massive forces with some initial deterioration of consciousness followed by sudden fall into a coma.

Somethings probably bleeding and the brain is going to develop edema sooner than later. Initial life support, a CT scan, probably emergent neurosurgery (at the discretion of the neurosurgeon), and neuro-critical care measures are in order. Read about the Monro-Kellie doctrine, its interesting stuff.

End results will most likely include some degree of neurological impairment ranging from comatous states to some kind of focal lesion (blindness, loss of strenght/feeling/speech etc.)
At first glance looks pretty grim but one does get surprised by brains sometimes

>>16916299
Is it me or does everyone hate doctors in the USA now? It's like I'm becoming a doctor at the time where the profession is the least trusted and most hated.

I'm expecting a resounding no, but I thought it'd be interesting to ask.
Does anyone have any positive experiences with homeopathy?
I've known some dyed-in-the-wool skeptics who insist it's all rubbish but then also reluctantly admit that they've seen success -somehow- when it comes to allergy symptoms.

>>16916304
>Honestly I think the whole field has a stick up its ass and prefers there to be fewer physicians.
The AMA and Congress limit the number of doctors, so yeah they objectively do.
>>16916650
>Will his brain perform enough of its functions to carry on and live what you would consider a worthy life? Very likely not but maybe yes.
Entirely dependent upon the severity of the injury. There are people who get shot in the head and recover with no ill effects at all, and others who get shot in the head and die.

>>16916816
Dogs can be trained to detect cancer in humans via smell alone.
This is partially due to the fact that dogs aren't very good listeners and tune people out when they describe their symptoms to them.

>>16916617
What kind?
Either way do it. Enjoy laughing at clinicians and being able to sleep in your own bed (or wherever else you choose to be) every night for the rest of your career.
Unless you choose haem. But in that case you did it to yourself and I don't feel sorry for you.

>>16917325
>Does anyone have any positive experiences with homeopathy?
haha no, it is on the same tier of chakra healing

>>16917263
not everyone, but doctors going more into politica certainly has soured people on the profession somewhat.
social media doesnt help either.

I should have been a blacksmith making prop armor for rennaisance fairs and t.v. shows.

>>16917395
you and me anon
being a carpenter is also pretty cool

>>16917263
indian CEO doctor lawyer here.
i am the most respected person in my neighborhood and all the white women love me. i get so much bob and vagene daily.

>>16917387
>social media doesnt help either.
all these women, especially minority women, can't help but post all this bullshit on social media, i see it constantly. they make medicine look so unserious. its such a joke.

>>16917263
>be me
>academic researcher
>share scientific journal article during covid
>banned for misinformation

Doctors are hated now (for health reasons) for the same reason priests were hated for sexual misconduct reasons (despite statistically still being the least likely group to offend): people have expectations and react badly when they're betrayed.
Not to mention the whole opioid pandemic was directly due to doctors prescribing pills to people who had no business having them, and other such issues.
And let's not forget
>Medical malpractice is estimated to cause between 250,000 to 440,000 deaths annually in the United States, making it one of the leading causes of death in the country.

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>>16917636
>I am a doctor who never failed to heal a patient (also veterinarian) but the fuckin gov't forced me on witness protection over this epstein say & so i can't work.
>epstein tried to recruit me and left me a message @ his downfall

>>16917636
People freaked out during COVID because their selfishness and pigheadedness overran the sense of common decency to preserve the public interest.
The opioid epidemic was directly driven by misinformation from Sackler and Co on oxycontin's addiction using subtly botched studies. Not to mention that turn of the century Americans got a lot older and very unhealthy (leading them to surgeries or other major medical conditions) while not having the wherewithal to stop bitching about pain.

When the HMO and your employer (since healthcare "reforms" have made it extremely difficult to run an independent primary care practice anymore) are breathing down your neck to solve the problem within 10-15 mins as cheap as possible and the patient with a known source of pain comes in with zero desire to undergo any treatments that might target the root cause of their pain with knowledge of an Oxycontin ad, it becomes really hard to deny the patient (if you do, your job is at stake because the "patient satisfaction" scores that your employer tracks will be in the toilet.

The real cause of the absolute wildfire of the opioid epidemic in the 90s-10s was the same as meth and crack before that, poverty and resulting social determinants of health lead to unhealthy people (mentally and physically) and absolutely mind-numbingly boring hellholes. But of course, building an equitable system is something no greedy capitalist will ever discuss.

>>16917674
Wigger, did you just type «social determinants of health» in this thread? I'm going to punch your mouth

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>>16917723
>t.

>>16917723
love u anon

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It should not be legal for psychiatrists to forcibly drug patients

If you want to lock me up then fine. Put me in a padded room. I'm fine with that. What I don't want is poisonous, mind-altering lab chemicals injected into my muscles against my will.

>>16917723
the most important social determinant is ohana. that means family :)

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future indian med student CEO doctor here.
how do i get a hot blonde nurse to treat my penis if it hurts?

What causes a change in response to alcohol? Ever since the covid lockdowns, I feel like my body and metabolism have slowly changed. I'm generally an extremely inconsistent and light drinker - I'll have a couple of beers when I go out randomly and then go many months without any alcohol. I've started to notice that I don't really get buzzed anymore and nothing beyond that. I _may_ get a headache. I had like 4-5 shots of rum today (again, after not drinking for many months) and nothing happened. I'm perfectly coherent, not even buzzed. I don't have any other effects outside of disappointment.
What's wrong w/ me bros

>>16917952
lmao this comic is so out of touch
a nursoid would instantly call/page the resident if there was new testicular pain. they wouldn't bother examining. it's beyond their scope of practice

>>16918126
Maybe in a westoid hospital.

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give it to me straight audiologist/ENTbros, how fucked are my ears?
t. have been using headphones at way too loud of volumes for the past 5 - 10 years

>>16917263
I've been gravely ill every few days for a couple years now and they never took it seriously so I have lost all hope in them. They don't even like their jobs anyway

>>16918357
>gravely ill
>never ends up in a grave
lol. do you rate mild headaches as 10/10 pain?

>>16918609
>mild
"Mild" is not the word I would use

>>16918609
>>16918615
And that is to say, the word I would use is "gravely"

>>16917952
I need a nursing handjob real bad right now.

>how do i get a hot blonde nurse to treat my penis if it hurts?
The blonde delinquent nurse is top tier.

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What are the /med/ approved fetishes? I like nursing handjobs and lactation.

>>16918626
Washing hands with soap and water before touching each other's genitals really gets me going.

Is genital herpes usually asymptomatic like Chlamydia is?

>>16918626
Peeing after sexual intercourse

Why are so many nurses so fucking awful? There's a handful of rockstars but god damn what happened where so many have no idea what they're doing?

>>16918626
I like footjobs and cocaine at the strip club. Top 5 hardest woods of my life.

>>16916857
they're making you aware that they are the superior being, with only Hollywood movie producer trumping you both

>>16918626
handholding, missionary, impregnation

>>16918626
armpits are the most /med/ fetish

>>16918626
my mom was a nurse so it always grossed me out as a fetish.
personally my weirdest one is female vampire yuri, especially biting.

>>16918692
degredation of training programmes ?
my country devised a new compact route to registration which is only 2 years instead of the classical 4 and there's no way you can train someone to be a competent medical professional in such a short span of time.

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>>16918626
everything outside paediatrics is approved

My fetish is the renewal of Christendom, retaking Jerusalem, purging it, and getting a young fertile wife to bear 20 children. Never tried it, but I bet it's absolutely grand. Why do you all have weird fetishes? You know one paraphilia predicts another.

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>Christendom

>>16919700
i bet youre the type of faggot to say judeo-christianity

why were there so many complications with the covid vaccine compared to the annual flu shot?

Give me the rundown on Big 4 NYC programs. Are they as workhorse as they say? I don't mind working hard as long as it's not toxic. Is anesthesia better in this regard?

I'm losing all hope with radiography right now. 1st year student, 2 months in, we're on upper extremities. We have a pretest with unlimited tries for upper extremity image analysis. I just cannot score higher than 63%. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't get to see what answers I got correct or not, so there's no feedback for improvement to try again.

I'm wondering if this is the wrong path to take, now. This is an important skill to be able to determine if images are worth keeping and sending or not and it's been a terrible struggle this entire time. Otherwise, nothing else is really difficult because the rest is so much more objective. It's when I have to look at more subjective images, not 100% perfect, and determine certain things about them, which is seeming impossible with this pretest. I spent 3 hours on the last attempt, it's 14 questions, I used 2 textbooks and thought I had every answer rigorously worked out.

Anyone else relate?

>>16920115
>redditography

>>16920115
sucks to be low IQ anon, you can still become a nurse

>>16920207
I've tested in the 130s during a professional evaluation. I'm starting to think the test is wrong, now.

>>16920212
I read your wall of text again
imo I only deal with ultrasound images but thinking 2 textbooks are enough to train is silly

grind radiopedia
grind random books that showcase whatever image method you study
go on ER or ortho wards

I promise you this is not rocket science

>>16920115
Study more and employ a systematic aproach to image interpretation. There is a book called accident & emergency radiology which i like.
I can probably manage to get a PDF if u want

Im no radiologist tho and for anything not a chest/abd rx i will shamelessly call a traumatologist when in doubt.

>>16920253
>>16920286
Just found out a bit ago that everyone in class did terribly on that particular quiz. That tells us that the quiz is the problem, not us. I think we're going to get extra credits handed to us for what a complete dumpster fire it was.

>>16920115
>This is an important skill to be able to determine if images are worth keeping and sending or not and it's been a terrible struggle this entire time.
Didn't even know y'all get trained in this because I have seen mountains and mountains of dogshit CXRs just in the past month that we've been treating a single patient getting 1-3 CXRs daily. Somehow you all fuck up the exposure so it's never equal, the patient is never positioned properly despite literally being paralyzed so there's no excuse, there's always some kind of terrible artifacting, etc. etc.
>>16920339
It just means that everybody in your program is retarded. Sorry dude, but rad techs are not the brightest in the bunch

why would you ever become anything besides an ophthalmologist? just roll in the easy peasy dough especially if you become a retinal specialist.

why are there so many indian women at my medical school and why are they so mean + cringe + ethnocentric

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Wellbutrin or lexapro?

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If you want a good laugh, I encourage you to watch the music video for this terrible song.
https://youtu.be/Yv97b2oPk3w?si=d7CIYby9CiRXz2x3
>>16920643
they're hunting for a caucazoid to impregnate them duh

effective way to get high score on step 2?

>accidentally revealed my power level to a patient
I cant manage to just shut the fuck up.

>>16920925
what did you do / say ?

>>16920811
I'm a fat fuck and that makes me depressed
I honestly need to start Wellbutrin maxxing

>>16920594
in my country, it is so competitive you need a PhD.
I'd rather just be an anaesthetist instead and do eye blocks all day instead

What specialty should I choose as an alcoholic

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>here's 200 competencies you need to get signed off little man
>oh btw, heres only 90 hours of shift time between march and mid april to do it in
>oh, and dont forget, absolutely NO OVERTIME
this is pretty gay.

>>16920811
Prescribing Lexapro should be banned on pain of death and whoever discovered Wellbutrin should be awarded a Nobel prize.

>>16921783

>>16921783
just fake them lol

>>16921678
In my country at least, you go into family medicine, establish yourself at some poor shit rural clinic, and then go home and drink while your interns hold the fort. What are they gonna do, fire you? Lmao

>>16921783
It gets WORSE from med school???

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Future of Canadian biology studies

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>>16920925
>>16920954
I'm curious as well.

I just about spilled my spaghetti a few days ago when we got a pretty female patient around my age with giant breasts. The outlines in the thin gown had me stuttering and almost forgetting to ask some patient history questions. I'm not a virgin and have had bigger on a partner, but still, ones in that size range short-circuit my brain every time.

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>forensic pathology department is 80-90% women
>I'm the only white moid there
I have never in my life seen a department with this level of female predominance. Not in obgyn, psych, pediatrics, anything. I knew women love true crime but damn watching a tiny 4'11 girl cheerfully pulling intestines out of a body teaches you a lot about the nature of existence.

Why are foid surgeons such whores?

>>16916299
How do you medfags remember all the medications? The names are bizzarre, there's like a 100 of these for each specialist, each with their own restrictions, dosage and shit. Do you spam flashcards every day?

>>16922103
Don't know about others, but being a former pill popper was beneficial for remembering medication names, even non-narcotic ones. I found this to be a thing in my former social circle, lol. When the brain is motivated to learn, the rest comes naturally.

>>16922103
There's only 3 different names you have to remember for most medications anon its not that hard.

>>16921976
Sounds like the that I rotated in a pediatric hospital. Some of the patients were good looking adolescents, the kind of girls that smelled my autismo and were condescending to me in hs. Those fucking skanks still think they are better than me. Dropped my spaghetti multiple times.

>>16922086
Because they see men as sources of abuse and develop psychiatric complexes dealing with this

>>16922103
truth is you memorize them all for school, then forget all the ones that aren't used in your specialty, ones that aren't very common in general, and ones that don't have significant side effects or future complications.

>>16919930
Hope you're ready to do all the scut, also you will be the nursoids bitch. Expect an overweight Shanisha to nag you about bullshit at the worst times. Said nurse will also always go on break when you need to get labs or do anything with a patient.

Depending on where you work your patients will either be spics and blacks who cant speak a word of English or entitled kikes who want concierge level medicine.

>>16921976
You understand that if you ever fuck up like this again and people notice you're going to lose your license right? I don't think you should be taking anything but geriatric cases anymore

Had anyone ever met an introvert or geeky nurse before? I don't think they exist, they're all the Stacy types in various stages of reformation

>>16922389
Nurses are turbonormies. Those nurses yer lookin for are a dime in a dozen.

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People at my school admire my work ethic so much that they get concerned when I don't show up and study. Thanks, bros, I needed that :)

>>16922433
>admire
Are you sure that's the right word?

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>>16922388
Not sure if trolling or totally asexual.

>>16922103
Nigga i have a phone in my pocket

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without medfags I'd be dead and wouldn't have to suffer through life. fuck all of you and have a nice day

>>16923049
Does your life suck because you don't have money? If so, become a medfag and learn to love life as you make more than other people in your life and are therefore better than everyone around you.

>>16922819
Ay i got a glock in my rari

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>"if you are going to fuck someone on the med team, just make sure it's not done in a power imbalance"
>actual advice given to med students today
umm, how about not just fucking your advisors out of, you know, professionalism ?
can you really not go a 2 month placement without having to bang someone ?

>>16922103
>90% of people are going to have the same handful of meds that work for most issues
>med's have classes anyway, if yuo see -olol or -pril, -cilin, -statin, you will have a inclining to what it is
>what are the handbooks and online resources or even apps that list medical guidelines and appropriate drug prescriptions that everyone uses anyway

>>16923316
for normalfags, if they go a month without sex they think theyre virgins again

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I'm a khhv. People think I'm gay because I've never had a girlfriend.

>>16923316
In my intern group there was this chick who left her trad homesteader Chad husband and started fucking the female anesthesiologist who was like 20-30 years older than her. They didn't even try to hide or downplay it. Bitches be whack.

>>16923333
"suck dick for sign off's" has been a thing for ages.
one of the managers in my department got forced retirement for suggesting a female nursing student come round his house to review her development portfolio and that she should wear something sexy.
im just pissed off that even a female healthcare worker would not advise against fucking the people on your placement rotation.

Any tips removing dark spots from skins after recovering (actually, while having) from tinea versicolor (not sure if it is or the other one, due to scratching it alot and leaving wounds. I finally went to doctor and got me medicine, but while it dries and not itchy anymore, it still has very dry (rather)dark spots, like flex or whatever . What's recommended to, remove these post treatment scar, I suppose?