Allow him to take a seat. He's probably still tired from our last game and just wants to relax his legs a bit

What's the point of owning a chair if you can't sit in it?

Keep in mind that Rowdy is Jewish

>be Rowdy Tellez
>constantly breaking shit due to your incredible heft
>get invited over to your friend's house
>look around the living room at all the available chairs, many of which are huge, sturdy armchairs
>pick out the magnificent and exceedingly rare Huanghuali folding horseshoe-back armchair from the 17th century
>"COOL CHAIR BRO"
>jump into it before your friend can stop you
>wide ass busts the arms right off the chair
>ass smashes right through the wicker bottom
>terrible creaking sounds before legs the buckle and snap to splinters
>"Oops! My bad, bro!"

>>153708230
Why are fat people always so oblivious about their weight? Why do they think that they can sit down on the same kind of chairs normal weight people can?

Who the fuck spends 8 million on a chair
>>153708230
This story isn't even real but if it was they deserve it

>>153708088
Unironically this

>>153708251
So that they can sue someone for fake injuries when it breaks under them and/or for discrimnation for not having chairs that can handle 500 pounds

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>be Rowdy Tellez
>exhausted from a hard day of eating and breaking shit
>host graciously tells you you can sleep over in the guest bedroom
>it's the first one on your right down the hall
>go to the first one to your left instead
>bed is a rare Huanghuali six-poster canopy bed dating to the Qing Dynasty

>>153708323
Why does this nigger have so much old Chinese furniture? That feels like a family guy skit kek

>>153708230
According to baseball ref, Rowdy's only made $12 million in his career, which means he likely couldn't afford to pay back the full cash value of the chair if he were successfully sued. He'd have to liquify all of his assets and have his salary garnished for the rest of his career. He probably won't even land another major league contract, which means his MLB pension will be garnished. Assuming he's married, his wife would probably cheat on him and divorce him as well.

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>american athletes
Europoos were unironically right.

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>be Rowdy Tellez
>wake up thirsty in the middle of night from all the salty Almas caviar you devoured earlier
>make your way to the kitchen
>See a 1996 bottle of Domaine Leroy Chambertin, one of the finest pinot noirs ever produced
>looks like some French shit
>uncork it and take a swing
>tastes nasty
>dump the rest of it down the sink
>drink some water instead

>>153708766
Who can even afford all of this expensive stuff?

>>153708816
MLB players

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>Cool vase, bro

>>153708088
Why own art?

>>153708969
Fine chairs are like art you can sit in

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*breaks you're chair*

>>153708969
Can easily invest black money into art and other luxury goods. Seldomly get a good return, costly to keep it safe.

>be Rowdy Tellez
>host tells you never to come back all because you accidentally broke some used furniture
>go post angrily on X about how you got fat shamed

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>you invited Rowdy Tellez over for dinner, just the two of you
>you ordered a large amount of Indian takeout, enough to feed a family of 6
>a panicked look suddenly comes across Rowdy's face, he asks to use the bathroom
>says he can't wait
>your plumbing is broken and all your toilets are out-of-order
>the only option is your delicately preserved 16th century close stool toilet chair once belonging to the Jiajing Emperor

>>153709319
Hopefully you've got two of those

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>be Daniel Vogelbach
>hear that Rowdy Tellez destroyed $10 million worth of furniture with his staggering bulk in one visit
>vow to destroy $11 million of furniture next time you get invited to someone's house

>>153707987
>tellez
Approximately 219,104 people bear this surname
Most prevalent in:
Mexico
Highest density in:
Nicaragua

>>153709319
>you invited Rowdy Tellez over for dinner, just the two of you
>you ordered a large amount of Indian takeout, enough to feed a family of 6
>a panicked look suddenly comes across Rowdy's face as he realizes you only ordered enough food to feed six

>>153710182
kek

>>153708621
His head bumps are fascinating

>>153708816
Me

>>153707987
I do not follow boreball and have no idea who these people are but these memes are exquisite kek

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>I got you a new dragon chair, bro. It was made in China too

>>153707987
"It's a decorative chair, you are not supposed to sit on it"

>>153709319
GOD DAMN IT ROWDY THERE'S A HOME DEPOT BUCKET IN THE GARAGE YOU COULD HAVE USED