Are the Paladins here Mormon?

>>97604344
Which edition?

>>97604344
>every paladin swears: never drink
Fake, gay, and Islamic.

>>97604344
What kind of faggot desert-orgy god is your paladin worshipping that not only doesn't present his worshipers with drinking alcohol, but also prohibits them from drinking it?
Also, respecting the spirit of the law often means breaking written law.

>>97604344
>One of THE most fundamental oaths every paladin swears
Cite specific verse demanding that, or you yourself are a demon trying to twist the scripture.

>>97604344
>Haha ur Palayden falls!

DnDogshit brain-rot at it's finest. Please never make threads hete again.
Sincerely, Everyone.

>>97604352
2 and 2/3 e (2027)

>>97604344
>The moral of the story: don't try to twist the letter of the law, that's what devils do.
actually, both the devil and the angels argue the letter of the law
its an interdimensional game of phoenix wrright, where the forces of darkness and light mobilize huge armies of lawyers to fight on their behalf

>>97604344
>break the spirit of the oath
>you fall
>break the literal words of the oath
>you fall
Any dm that makes you lose your paladin powers is going to make you lose them no matter what you do because they're lazy and stupid.

>>97604344
My Paladin worships the Holy Spirit, so he doesn't fall. Checkmate, DM.

>>97604344
>One day, a Paladin joins Vikings on a holy raid against enemies of God. The Vikings offer him mead. The Vikings say mead is made of honey, not plants.
This is from a movie. Clips of it get posted in the filename threads all the time.
You've never had an original thought in your entire life, have you?

>>97604344
Are you calling Jesus unholy?

>>97604344
>enemies of the paladin order pour a bottle of wine into the water supply
>entire paladin order falls
>god remembers that fruit contains trace amounts of alcohol from natural fermentation
>entire paladin order falls

It's really a wonder how that order of paladins ever even got off the ground.
You'd think god would have been explicit about what was in their oaths, instead of letting them get blindsided by things they assumed were exceptions.

>>97604344
Which system?

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>>97604344
My paladin only drink kumis
*mongolian throat singing in background*

>>97604344
Depends on God's temperament.
If Judaism is correct, then he shouldn't fall. The entire basis of their religious thought is legalism. You can see this demonstrated in the use of an eruv on shabbat, or how they sacrifice chickens to absorb their sins with kapparot.
if either Islam or Christianity are correct, it depends on what the paladin was thinking, because in their conception God is more concerned with your inner moral status, not whether or not you're toeing the line of the rules. If he the paladin believes he's getting away with shit, he falls. If he genuinely thinks his God would approve, he doesn't. God is more concerned with the righteousness of your intent in these religions, as opposed to the Jewish God, who is more of a lawyer/bureaucrat who can be defeated with loopholes.

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>>97605399
My guess is that they just have a shit god

>>97605854
I wish the Oglaf duo would make a long-form comic with the porn jokes somewhat compartmentalized, a bit like "What Happens Inside the Dungeon".

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>>97604355
Ironic

>>97604344
>One of THE most fundamental oaths every paladin swears: never drink
That’s not a thing.

>paladins can’t take communion
Weird

>>97606252
>it's in a movie so it must be true
It just gets faker and gayer.

>>97604344
>One of THE most fundamental oaths every paladin swears: never drink, make, distribute or sell fermented plants or plant products
Never heard of this. Surely you can point out a rulebook or setting guide where this is stated?

>>97604344
Alcohol is approved by God. It's literally the blood of Christ. Fuck off muslim.

The most dangerous thing about mead...
>They fermented his blood with honey to create a powerful mead that turns one into a bard or a scholar if drunk.
...is that the good stuff turns you into a bard if you drink it.

>>97605984
I agree. The porn jokes usually aren't very funny either.

>>97604344
In OP's defense, it's more a moral than anything else. Your character doesn't need to join AA unless you really want them to.

>>97604344
>Does your Paladin remember this parable?
No, because it was never one they learned. It must have come from some strange far-off world across the great seas of darkness beyond the sky.

Paladins of Halcamora, the Lady of Ripe Bounty, must engage in the brewing of wine as a rite of passage. Additionally, many temples celebrate a new paladin's investiture with alcohol, usually wine, mead, or similar.

A paladin must learn moderation in all things as part of their training, a better way to keep themselves of sound mind, body, and soul.

>>97604344
Antisemitism has no place on /tg/ OP.

Ever heard the Parable of the Paladin and the Apple?
It's a cautionary tale they teach every Paladin.
The moral of the story: don't try to twist the letter of the law, that's what devils do.
Paladins are Lawful Good, devils are Lawful Evil.

One of THE most fundamental oaths every paladin swears: never eat the flesh of an animal. It's unholy.

One day, a Paladin joins Farmers on a holy raid against enemies of God. The Farmers offer him an apple. The Farmers say an apple is a plant, not an animal. The Paladin eats... and then he falls and loses all powers.

The Paladin demands answers from God. God comes down and says to the Paladin: You disobeyed me. The spirit of your oath is to avoid eating any kind of flesh. You tried to get around it by eating the flesh of a fruit. That's not what Lawful Good does, that's what Lawful Evil devils does.

Does your Paladin remember this parable?

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My character kills themselves. I will now roll up another paladin.

>>97606601
>They fermented his blood with honey to create a powerful mead that turns one into a bard or a scholar if drunk.
Who said that?

>>97604344
>One of THE most fundamental oaths every paladin swears: never drink, make, distribute or sell fermented plants or plant products. It's unholy.
Stopped reading right there.

>>97607650
Snorri Sturluson

>>97604344
I have read some retarded posts on /tg/, but this is perhaps one of the most retards. What the fuck does either the Paladin or their god know about an alignment chart?

>>97608270
Quite a lot.

>we are STILL having "lol paladin falls" threads in the Year of our Lord twenty twenty six

/tg/.../tg/ never changes

>>97604663
>Are you calling Jesus unholy?
Hell naw. Between the nail gun and the spear, the motherfucker got more holes in him than Jimmy Hoffa.

>>97604382
If you can't maintain your Character's alignment you are evil in real life, deal with it

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>>97604344
OP pulled an exchange from Vikings to try make 'ubiquitous' lore and pass it off as official material to promote his idea of how LG works mechanically.

Unfortunately, OP is underage, and so not only failed to be convincing, or tell the story right, but didn't even pull the exchange from Vikings correctly.

>>97609399
OP like, "Nuh uh. I drink a frothy mug of whiskey every day!"

>>97604344
>One of THE most fundamental oaths every paladin swears: never drink, make, distribute or sell fermented plants or plant products. It's unholy.
No oath or text in the Paladin class says a word about alcohol.
>One day, a Paladin joins Vikings on a holy raid against enemies of God
Cool, that isn't something my character would do.
>The Vikings offer him mead.
And there's nothing wrong with him drinking it RAW.
>The Vikings say mead is made of honey, not plants.
Okay, and?
>The Paladin drinks... and then he falls and loses all powers.
That's called the GM being a gigafaggot.
>God comes down and says to the Paladin: You disobeyed me. The spirit of your oath is to avoid unholy drink.
Again, there is not a single oath or line of text in the Paladin class that says this. This is the GM being a cuntbiscuit.
>That's not what Lawful Good does, that's what Lawful Evil devils does.
You also don't understand what LG and LE are. Lawful Good is not blind obedience to law, that is Lawful neutral. Lawful Good is adherence to fair, just, good-aligned law, and deposition and replacement of evil, unjust, unfair law with fair, just and good law.
>Does your Paladin remember this parable?
My Paladin doesn't have a faggot cock-sucking cum-guzzling pea-brained That Guy GM, and nothing in his Class or Oath (Redemption) even mention alcohol, so he knows that in truth this tale is a lie conjured up by the forces of evil to mislead Paladins so that they may turn any allies they meet against their god by denying the kindnesses offered to them under the false guise of "adherence to an oath" or the false idea of "unholy drink".

Also even by christcuck standards, this makes no sense. Wine is The Blood of Christ, so you don't even know your own fucking lore you dickless dumbfuck.

>>97604344
What are some ways I can view this god as lawful or good?

>>97604344
>One of THE most fundamental oaths every paladin swears: never drink, make, distribute or sell fermented plants or plant products. It's unholy.
Why are zoomers so scared of alcohol?

>>97611534
because of its qualities as a social lubricant
the thought of interacting with people in person terrifies them

>>97611534
That's money that could be spent on designer drugs instead. More seriously, though, is it a zoomer thing? My impression is that people most afraid of alcohol tend to be people of all ages with a family history of alcoholism, ie. people who have seen the worst consequences of alcohol consumption and who also probably have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism. These people have a reason to be afraid of alcohol, though obviously it'd be nice if they didn't push their fears on other people who are, generally speaking, capable of drinking in moderation.

>>97604344
You're thinking of something besides paladins as they are LAWFUL good. Not "vibes" good.

>>97604344
>Paladin falls with no warning or chance of redemption
Cmon it's a Lawful Good god. Unless it's Iomedae from Pathfinder the god is more likely to give you a finger wag and tell you that it counts as well and give you something small that you have to do to repent for it.

>>97604344
If anything, treating a good-aligned deity as a cosmic rules-lawyer feels more Lawful Neutral or Lawful Evil than Lawful Good. A Good god should care more about the why, whether you acted selfishly, whether harm was done, and if you are sliding into vice. Not whether you technically consumed fermented bee product.

>>97611534
Not a zoomer here, but honestly I just dislike the taste. Even the mildest of Alcoholic drinks tastes disgustingly bitter to me.

>>97604663
The funny part is that a stringent code of laws is something that every follower of Jesus is expected to partake in, not merely the paladins, and people failing those laws and commandments despite being chosen was a regular part of not only the Bible itself yet also the mythology and histories that came after.

>>97611534
Honestly. I just can't get past the paint thinner taste. With the sole exception of Absinthe, whuch for some reason is still Illegal in my state.

>>97604344
Ever heard the Parable of the Paladin and the Post?
It's a cautionary tale they teach every Paladin.
The moral of the story: don't try to twist the letter of the law, that's what devils do.
Paladins are Lawful Good, devils are Lawful Evil.

One of THE most fundamental oaths every paladin swears: NEVER lie with another man as you wouldna woman. It's unholy.

One day, a Paladin joins shitposters on a holy raid against enemies of 4chan. The shitposters tell him to make a thread. The shitposters say threads are made of ideas, not people. The Paladin posts... and then he falls and loses all powers.

The Paladin demands answers from Hiroshimoot. Hiroshimoot comes down and says to the Paladin: You disobeyed me. The spirit of your oath is to avoid unholy faggotry. You tried to get around it by being an OP. That's not what Lawful Good does, that's what Lawful Evil devils does.

Does your Paladin remember this parable?

>>97608604
Paladins falling is literally Chekov's Gun.

If paladins weren't meant to fall, there wouldn't be a rule about it.

>>97604344
>One of THE most fundamental oaths every paladin swears: never drink, make, distribute or sell fermented plants or plant products. It's unholy.
Everyone replying to this post seriously should kill themselves.

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>>97622723
>One of THE most fundamental oaths every paladin swears: never drink, make, distribute or sell fermented plants or plant products. It's unholy.

Why are paladins banned from making, distributing, or selling kimchi, but permitted to eat it?

>>97622737
Kimchi is fucking disgusting though.

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>>97604347
All paladins have been Mormon since 1830 anon.
Are you really just finding this out now?

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>>97608604

Paladin falling is such a meme that even HoYo has referenced it during yet another sequence in which Genshin characters play tabletop RPGs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBQwVFvEF7s

>>97622737
Their job is to smite evil, not create and distribute it.

>>97604344
>One of THE most fundamental oaths every paladin swears: never drink, make, distribute or sell fermented plants or plant products.
does this invlude tea?

>>97604344
>One day, a Paladin joins Vikings on a holy raid against enemies of God.
Excuse me high Paladin, why was a paladin (a nominally righteous champion of a presumably non-Evil deity) supporting a band of seafaring pillagers and rapists? Why for that matter would a culture which worships a berserk one-eyed semen-drinking lunatic with a spear go on a "holy raid" except to earn their righteous deaths in battle?

Sure sounds to me like that paladin might have fallen for reasons completely unrelated to drinking.

Also why do you keep capitalising "God"? You can just say if it's Pelor, Ilmander, Bahamut, the Red Knight or whoever you know?

>>97628368
There is only one God and he sent his only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for your sins. And if you disagee with it, you are a reddit athiest.

>>97628387
>Jesus Christ
Sounds like an effeminate name for a god, I'm a Pelor man through and through. I bet your weak cunt of a god wouldn't even fight back if someone nailed him to a cross. Who'd worship a milksop like that?

>>97627751
>hoyoslop
>loocalized hoyoslop
Californian failed writers need not apply

>>97628588
fedora detected

>>97604344
I don't think OP watched The 13th Warrior and if he did he's a humongous bitch.

>>97629137
Heretic detected.

>>97629718
Until proven otherwise, OP is always a fag.

>>97628090
Why would it generally include tea when less than 0.5% of tea world wide is fermented, ie more than 99.5% isn't fermented.

>>97604344
That's now how it goes, he tries to get a man drunk to loosen his lips, and he falls because alcohol is literally poison.

>>97628368
Vikings became Catholic and started to raid enemies of God to help with the Crusades.

Ever heard of the Varangian Guard?