Ongoing Stories:
>Transformed Into a Lucario
https://pastebin.com/dNfCG4se
>Herding Cats
https://rentry.org/HerdingCats
>Copanon the PokeWhisperer and other stories
https://rentry.co/PolicemanPokemonStory
>Super Macho Mon
https://rentry.co/MachampStory
>Professor Decidueye by ProfD
https://rentry.co/ProfD
>VetPhox
https://rentry.co/DelphoxStory
>Serpent and Wyrm by Snivyanon
https://rentry.co/SerpentAndWyrm
>A Loser and a Very Lost Snowpix by Drifteranon
https://rentry.org/tcab223e
>The New Police Animals by Snivyanon
https://rentry.co/larsonkurt
>Kartanimator
https://rentry.co/kartanimator
>The Pokemon Pit by ProfD
https://rentry.co/r7aa9bzy
>Churchanon
https://rentry.org/cb24k1ti
>Swiss Army Mienshao
https://rentry.co/whipping-back-into-action/
>The Human Wimpod Evolved
https://rentry.co/GolisopodStory
>Sandslash and Ms. Gemstone
https://rentry.co/h62h6eh7e
>Drifteranon's one-shots
https://pastebin.com/4K9M6uJ2
>Other one-shots
https://pastebin.com/UtXMsyyD
>One-shots that were too spicy for pastebin
https://rentry.co/wokeuponeshots

Archived stories:
>0332
https://pastebin.com/WMdqhP8H
>Digigirl
https://pastebin.com/rvUJh1Vd
>Tinkanon
https://rentry.co/TinkatonStory
>Not a Pikachu
https://rentry.co/notapikachu
>Lopunanon
https://pastebin.com/ecBem3sz

>>58912708
>Meanwhile, at the FDA, some poor schmuck has to classify all the new substances introduced to see if they are fit for human consumption.
>Gets the option to chose between Salazzle pheromones, Reuniclus jelly, and Dragalge poison.

>>58912826
Oh God, the sheer number of poison types with unique secretions would keep lab techs busy for decades.

>>58912849
Lucario would be an object of interest too, with broad-spectrum poison immunity and a mostly flesh and blood physiology.

What new kind of Olympics would be created with Pokémons in the mix?

>>58913863
I think you would have to do classification and evaluation like they do for the Paralympics. In the case of people who woke up as Pokémon, there will be some categories where they’re above the human limit while they’re impaired below the human limit for others.
https://www.paralympic.org/classification

>>58913863
Some sort of electricity manipulation event would be fun for electric types.

>>58914272
>Pure Voltage
>Pure Current
>Arc Distance
>Total Power Output
Would 3 Phase Alternating Current be a team event?

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>>58912708
>Forgot the bump edition
The Americans are still recovering from the Super Bowl, huh... I missed the bump because work kept me too busy for once. Mea Culpa. :(
Working on the next part of our chocolate-loving, furry slinky. Shouldn't be too long, I hope.

>>58913412
>couple turns into two cute-mons.
>they struggle to make ends meet and have to do side-jobs, like being the highlight at a child's birthday party or doing mascot work for various companies.
I would watch a comedy centred around such a couple, ngl.

>>58914044
That's what would probably happen at some point. I do like more niche stuff like >>58914272, though. It would be hella entertaining to see bird Pokémon having races like you'd see with drones nowadays, while throwing moves at each other to get the upper hand.
Have MMA style battles between turnees. Moves are allowed with some constraints to keep things interesting.
Maybe mix figure skating with Pokémon contests, with a Mon-Human pair where moves could be used to do some fancy shit while they dance around on the ice.

Some Olympics themed one-shots would have some potential, wouldn't they? Maybe that could be the thread theme for now?

>>58915050
I could imagine it going something like this:
>Year 1: Games nearly cancelled due to fears of infection or athletes turning
>Year 3: Controversy over whether turned athletes are allowed to compete in their original event
>Year 5: Pokémon compete in categories of the Paralympics
>Year 7: Several new Pokémon specific sports have been invented and are part of the regular Olympics
>Year 9: Shared events are allowed with peak performance Humans occasionally beating the seemingly superpowered Pokémon

>>58915153
Imagine turning into a Cinderace and having a sport tailor made for you.

>>58915756
>You enter a minor existential crisis when you realize you, a being of flesh and blood and fire, were made for the sport

>>58915756
>WOOOO I’m gonna be a star and crush this game!
>…
>What the fuck does “offside” mean?

>>58915756
Plot twist, the Cinderace finds they have more of a knack for taking down skeet shots with their balls.

>>58915785
We all wish we could find that level of fulfillment

Skeet “shooting” would be a great general purpose display of mastery over any sort of ranged attack.
>Lighting Bolts, Water Jets, Flaming Cinders, Seed Guns, etc.

>White guy turned into a bird pokemon discovering he can no longer sense capsaicin

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>People start turning into creatures not even in the pokedex.
>Turns out this shift even ties into Generations not yet made.

>>58915050
All the Olympic talk and the idea of Pokémon being more physically powerful raises the inevitable question: When are we going to get a Pokémon Supremacist?
>yadda yadda superior life form
>something something next stage of evolution on Earth
>humans bow down to their superiors etc. etc.
You could play it as a straight villian, subvert expectations by having it come from something like a Butterfree, have it come from a morally gray anti-hero, or maybe even a regular protagonist putting up with anti-Pokémon hate?

>>58918233
Plot twist: The Pokemon Supremacist is a human getting their misanthropic rocks off.

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>>58918234
>glowie false flag poke-terrorist movement to implement tighter regulations on Pokémon and surveillance on everyone
Oh no, I’ve made myself sad again.

>>58918161
>A few people somehow turn into scrapped early designs

>>58918244
Turns out it's just a regular Zork disguised as a BetaZork

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>...Seems the gashapon machine's nearly empty after today. Guess we need to order another batch.
>Never would've expected to become one of the characters in them after seeing them every day for a few years now.
>Not like I can help it, it did just kinda happen outta nowhere, didn't it...
>Oh, the line's coming in, need to go deal with the rail switch.
>Come on, move over you...
>There!
>Oh, it's coming in, need to tell it the way's open...
>...it's hard waving these flags with these tiny arms, how annoying...
>And away it goes.
>Didn't get to conduct today. Again.
>What a shame...
>Oh, there's the boss, my turn's over for the day. I should cross the line passes for tonight before counting today's sales...
>At least jumping up onto my desk chair isn't that hard.
>53, 54, 55...
>More foot traffic than usual, isn't it...
>Has word gotten around...?
>At least the kids here seem to enjoy the show.
>Part of me wishes I turned into almost any other Pokemon, I studied to be a conductor, not a performer...
>Ah, another call.
>"Hello hello, it's Yudakinshuko Station! How can we help you?"
>"...eh? Mr. Fukasawa? I-It's an honor! Please, how may I help you?"
>"Ah, yes, I'll get you in contact with my boss. Pleasure talking to you!"
>"Oi, president!"
>"Oi, what is it Denji?" He replies.
>"Chairman Fukasawa wants to talk with you!"
>"The chair...? I'll be there in a second!" And now he's got the phone.
>Where was I? 56, 57, 58...
>"Oi, Denji! He says he's actually looking for you! He's asking for our pokehuman conductor, so I'm assuming he means you." Boss calls out.
>"Oh, of course!" Dangit, hard grabbing the phone with these paws, how did the one in the show do it?
>"Yes, it's me again! Huh? A... job offer for the Morioka - Miyako line? Why's that?" Boss gives me an intrigued look before... seemingly coming to a realization.
>"Y-Yes, I can look it up, just give me a second..."
>" 「POKEMON with YOU」 Train?"
>Well, having turned into a Pikachu, I guess I should've figured...

>>58918283
Oh man, being one of THE Mascot line mons would be a hell of a wearying thing.

>>58918161
Somewhere, some poor soul has turned into sonichu

>>58918283
Huh. It was a real thing!
https://web.archive.org/web/20250715225540/https://www.jreast.co.jp/tokyo/jre_pokemonmegarally2025/

>>58918761
>was
Is, still! I did my research because I overthink the hell outta stuff, it's a promo that TPC started with JR East a while ago after an earthquake to help cheer up the locals, promo did well enough that it's still on going to this day.
https://www.jreast.co.jp/en/multi/joyful/pokemon.html

>>58918233
>Cuts to a video of a Cutiefly on a pedestal, giving a rousing speech about why Pokémon are the actual master race.
Yeah, I could see that happening. Seriously though, we actually need more stuff like that in our stories. Many of us just write comfy stuff with the occasional sucker punch sprinkled in. I'd love to read a take from one of the extreme ends.

>>58918283
Kartanon diversifying his portfolio once more, love to see it!
I'm not familiar with the Japanese public transport system, but interesting that they still have humans – well, Pokémon now, I guess – manually turning the rail switches.
Kinda hard to judge Denji's character from those few lines alone. He seems like a good bloke, though.
The amount of little one-shots you could do with a premise like that is near limitless. Many different interactions on a train like that, I assume. Consider me hooked if you decide to continue Denji's story!

>>58918761
>>58919274
Oh, that's cool! I wish TPC would do promotions like that outside of Japan as well. We'd have some trains for them to paint too!

>>58918296
Chris-chan KNOWS your location; start praying!

>>58918233
>>58919491
Most likely it would start out among psychic types to be honest.
If they can't find or hold a job because everyone assumes that they can read minds, they are just going to end up as social pariahs. The radicalization would go further from there.

>>58920099
>Dark-Type is literally “Evil” in Japan

>>58919491
And here I was thinking that would be silly.
Hmm.
Perhaps my problem with my story can be fixed now.

>>58918283
Adorable. Hope those kids don't play too rough.

>>58919274
Holy crap that is way too much Pikachu. Something about it feels disturbing.

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I feel I could probably write one about me, with either me being a exeggutor or dodrio, cause I have schizophrenia would make for funny back and forth.

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>With nothing better to do and no sign of the Meowstic, you went back up to your room with the others.
>You didn't talk much while hopping back up the stairs.
>Death by PowerPoint had made you all rather sleepy.
>The hallway was bustling with recruits getting ready for the sports examination.
>You weaved through the masses and went straight to your room at the end of the corridor.
>Then everyone just kinda did their own thing.
>Nick sat back on his usual spot above you, probably looking out of the window or just dozing off.
>Joel latched onto the outlet to get some energy back for the next couple of hours.
>You simply laid down on your mattress, left leg bent and right one crossed over it. You paws lay staggered on your chest so you could feel every breath.
>Your resting heart rate and breathing cycles were definitely higher than those of a regular human.
>Just another new normal for you.
>You closed your eyes to meditate and relax.
>You could hear the jumble of voices through the closed door.
>The white noise helped you let your mind drift.
>You felt mentally tired yet serene.
>Some weeks ago, you found out about Mienshao's Regenerator ability online.
>Since you couldn't really "withdraw from battle", you figured that letting your mind wander off while meditating should have the same effect.
>And you were right with your assumption!
>That was definitely something you were a fan of, and you exploited it over the past few weeks whenever you were overwhelmed by the changes or when you were just tired during the day.
>How handy such an ability would've been in the past...
>You thought back to an exhausting moment in the army.
>Because of some dumb mismanagement, your group of four privates and you were assigned to stand guard for almost 48 hours.
>Because three people was the minimum requirement for active guard duty, someone had to jump in for nearly the whole duration.

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>>58921588
>You could've just condemned one or two privates to overwork themselves, but your group did a pretty good job in the previous shift during the exercise and you didn't want to punish them for a job well done.
>Punishment by incompetence was something you were highly allergic to. That was why you decided to take the double shifts yourself.
>Getting energy back from just ten minutes of meditating would've been a blessing during those two days.
>Too bad you were just a regular human back then.
>...
>Being a Mienshao actually wasn't that bad, was it?
>Sure, the voice was annoying―as were the paws, claws, whips, your height, and of course the fact that nobody recognised you anymore.
>...
>That last one was especially devastating.
>The owner of the bar where you were a regular, who no longer recognised you until you told him.
>The same for the cashiers at your local Coop and Migros, as well as the regular faces you saw while grocery shopping.
>The way they looked at you strangely when you greeted them like usual stayed in your mind for a while.
>...
>But other than that, you were healthier, got helpful new abilities, and a unique chance to break out of your everyday rut.
>If Nick and Joel were any indication, that was where you were headed in terms of getting along with your new self.
>You were in an emotional valley, but you had clawed your way out of other situations before.
>It had always been worth the climb to see the view from the top again. This time wasn't any different.
><Keep climbing, no matter how painful the next step might be, because the fall will always be worse.> you heard your late grandpa say in your mind.

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>>58921591
>A knock on the door pulled you out of your thoughts.
>The door opened and a lanky looking warrant officer entered.
>"Private Joel, Private Nick, are you two in here?" he asked.
>"Yes, *Adjudant*," responded Nick above you. "We're both here."
>"Good, listen up you two." the uniformed man began. "You won't be joining the regular sports exam with the rest. Meet at ten-hundred in the waiting area, prepared for your individual physical tests."
>"Understood! Meet at ten in the waiting area," Nick acknowledged. You heard the rustling of feathers.
>The warrant officer nodded, raised his straightened right hand to his temple to return the salute, and then left the room.
>He left the door wide open.
>There was silence for a short while. Only a few voices could still be heard outside.
>"Hey, Etienne. What time is it?" Nick then asked you.
>You grabbed your phone next to you and turned on the screen.
"Twelve to ten," you replied.
>"Alright, we better just go down now," the bird Pokémon said and fluttered down to the night stand where Joel was still charging himself up.
>Joel didn't react to Nick landing beside him at all.
>He was fast asleep.
>"Hey, Mr. Blackout, you coming?" he asked the four-legged arachnid.
>Still no reaction.
>You uncrossed your legs and sat up.
>Nick tried to shake the electric-type awake, but before he could touch Joel, a small flash of electricity arched to his wingtip with an audible crack.
>He flapped back in shock.
>Joel woke up from the gust of wind, lost his grip from the socket and fell back-first onto the table beneath him.
>"...not again, Nick!" he drowsily cried out.
>The Fletchinder looked at his wing that had just been tased and shook it up and down to ease the sting.
>A few yellow feathers gently fell onto the nightstand.
>"How was I supposed to know that you'd just shock me!" Nick reproached him.

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>>58921599
>"Oh, I don't know... maybe don't touch something that is attached to a literal power outlet next time?" the spider Pokémon retorted sarcastically.
>"Yeah, sorry... but how was I supposed to wake you up?" Nick responded and walked over to the Joltik still lying on his back. "Anyway, grab on."
>He helped Joel get back on his feet again―without getting shocked this time.
>"Just scream at me next time or use your pretty wings to make a breeze like you just did?" Joel suggested.
>In the meantime, you pressed your feet together and held them with your paws to pull them towards you for a quick stretch.
"I hate to interrupt, but didn't you want to go downstairs?" you asked.
>The electric type looked at you puzzled. "Why, is it time already? How long was I out?" he asked.
"We still have ten minutes, but you two got different orders just now." you stated.
>"We'll fill you in while we go downstairs," Nick chimed in.
>Joel agreed and jumped on Nick's back to hitch a ride.
>You decided to go with them, in hopes to bump into the Meowstic that had vanished after the speech.
>That, or find a Selecta vending machine for a quick snack.
>Together, you made your way back down the flight of stairs again and to the nearly empty waiting area.
>On the way, Nick told Joel what the Adjudant had told him.
>In the waiting hall, you hanged around for a few more minutes, before you went your merry way to meet the other group at the gymnasium.
>Luckily, the way to the sports hall was well signposted.
>To your stomach's dismay, however, no sign lead you to a Selecta machine...

--
https://rentry.org/whipping-back-into-action#part-4-split-paths

A bit of a shorter part this time, but only because I plan something different for the upcoming part.

>>58920243
We're all just writing silly ideas, the more the merrier!

>>58921571
I have only a vague idea on how schizophrenia affects a person, so that would be an interesting read in multiple ways. Go for it, if you feel up to it!

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>Your dreaming or what feels like anyway, your mind claws at you screaming countless voices.
>Before all the sudden silence, something happened but your not sure what, you awake to soft noises.
>Some kind of birds chirping you think to yourself, you hear someone whispering in your left ear.
>Before someone shouts. "YO WAKE UP!"
"AHHAHHH, HUH WHAT?!" You state confused
>"Why did you go and wake him up that way?" You hear a voice on your left say.
>"It was quicker wasn't it, plus I figure he should see this." You hear a voice on your right say.
"What's going on, who are you people?" You say confused and scared.
>"Why not look at the pool in front of you, might help you get a clue." You hear the voice on your left say.
>You bend down you realize you can really bend down, your vision foggy.
>You get a good look and realize... your a damn pokemon. A alolan exeggutor to be actuate...

This is sort of my first time doing this format so excuse my ability.

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>>58921673
>So many questions, ringing in your head how and why were pretty reasonable ones.
>So what did this mean for you.
>"Hey I know your kind of having existential situation, but you gotta catch your breath." The right head said.
Taking a bit to calm you simply asked. "I guess I want to wonder, I know who I am but what do I call you guys?"
>"Well, were you just the same, but also different." The left most head claimed.
>"Yeah, were the other parts of you, but if you want names, Uhhh, Just call me Bubba." The right head, chortled.
>"If we must have a name, call me Luna." The left head said calmly.
>When suddenly from behind your tail spoke. "Call me bob, don't worry I ain't much for talking but if yall don't mind giving some advice for every now and again."
>Names, something to at least go by here at least, something to use.
"Alright, then you know I'm Mitchell, Well I guess what we should do, is figure out where we are huh?" I said the voices now had a face to put too, even if it was something similar.
>Now the plan was, how do we even move, What controls what?
>"Just relax, think of it like stepping through the snow, just one step at a time." Luna spoke softly.
>So that's what you did, standing up you feel the weight of your whole body, you felt like titan.
>With one step you felt the earth shake under you, One nice thing about being so tall you were imposing, and you felt it too.
>One step after became a walk, you were getting into it then it became a run, you could feel your goofy neck fly back, you felt alive in a strange way.

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>>58921706
>Your mind felt lighter, like you truly didn't feel alone,
>That you can have someone to fall back on for the harder stuff, one body 4 minds to work from.
>And you were truly the center that grounded it, it was strangely magical, feeling that you never could put to words.
>"Hey!" You hear bubba shout telling you to stop, when you stop before a cliff that lead you seeing the whole island before.
>Your mind races where were you, were you in the pokemon world, like kanto or something like Alola, I mean surely Alola right??
>You simply stared up and the moon, you could see not too far their were other pokemon, it felt surreal.
>You've seen the moon before it's not entirely new, but it felt different somehow magical even.
>You gaze longingly into the night sky, it felt intense, you started to get choked up.
>Your not sure why, but you wanted to cry. But why?
>Thoughts swirled around in your head, emotions made you feel like you were getting swallowed in it all.
>Before a soft chirp from you side and slight rub against your head.
>"Shh, it's alright... Your not alone anymore." Luna said as Bubba rubbed against your head.
>The swirling stopped and you were grounded again, the insanity of this... You wonder if theirs others like you facing what your facing.
>Other people turned into pokemon what a thought, but maybe not so farfetched as it seemed.
>Perhaps you could find home here, you would try as this was your life for now.
>And if things really don't work out maybe theirs a way home.
>You would find you way, you only pick yourself up, your will has seen you through the worst in life.
>Why lie down and die now, when theirs so much to experince, you sit down basking the moon light.
>The soft chirping of bug pokemon surrounds you, some use you as shade to sleep under, you don't mind.
>Maybe you help others here and truly learn what it means to be alive.
>One way or another you would know.
"Will figure it out together, thats what I truly know." You say softly.

>>58921754
Cool idea for the story. I wonder how Longneck got so far out into the wilderness?

>>58922270
Thanks, I'm gonna work on it, could be fun to write on the side. might archive myself so I keep adding to it, on top of threads already archives.

>>58921754
You had your finger already on the trigger for that one, haven't you?
Nice dynamic you have between the four of them. Alolan Exeggutor is a based choice.
I think this is also a first for a turnee to wake up somewhere else instead of where they were right before transforming. Do we have a sleep walker on our hands or did one of the other heads walk him there? Or he really just got transported to Alola all of the sudden, which would also be an interesting turn of events.

The only thing to really criticise is the grammar. Lots of mixups between "your" and "you're", as well as "there" and "their", and some sentences were a bit confusing to read, like "One step after became a walk". It should probably be something like "One step after the other became a walk" or you could ditch the "after".
You might want to proof read one more time before hitting post. Other than that, I really enjoyed your take and hope for more!

>>58922517
Yeah, I've always struggled with grammer, I wasn't really taunt it in school been self taught, it's been rather bumpy, but I'm still glad you liked it I will probabily run everything though a ai grammmer helper or something similar. Cause I tend to struggle a bit.

Still glad you enjoyed it. This probably the first time I got the format right so thats a positive, I tend to fuck it up a lot. I guess I was so focus on getting the green text right.

>>58922539
Tools like DeepL are a great help with that, just make sure it doesn't suck out all of the soul in your sentences. AI tends to average everything out, even if you tell it not to...
>self taught
Another victim of the (US?) school system, eh? Look at your story as an exercise to improve in that regard as well, then! Two birds with one stone, as the saying goes. I know it helped me improve my English!
I'll gladly give feedback to the best of my abilities, and so will others I'm sure.

And about the format. I don't think there's a right or wrong here. We're pretty flexible with our greens. Just look at Kartanon's unique style. That certainly wouldn't be a "classic greentext", but it works just fine. So don't worry too much about it, as long as you keep it consistent.

>>58922674
Thanks again, well I have silly tavern, and I made a grammer bot, so which lets me tell what I want it to do exactly so I probably just force it to fix grammer and stuff, I mean the school system can work if your not special ed like I was, I mean it help handle my emotions I guess I did most the work really.

>>58921631
>>A bit of a shorter part this time, but only because I plan something different for the upcoming part.
Looking forward to it.

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>>58918252
Tricky bastards. You can’t give them an inch.

Been a while since I last did this...

>>58900365
Wouldn't mind a one-shot side story with the Prinps honestly.

The tired eyes of the TTar in the pic is what makes this whole scene, honestly. Two pseudos from buttfuck outta nowhere is definitely a thing - kinda sad the old lady's transformation apparently didn't help her dementia any. An old person transformee protagonist is probably something someone should do at some point...

Heh, between the TTar and Emma, I'm starting to sense a pattern here. The two most accommodating intuitions are academia... and the lowest level grunt work imaginable... Faaantastic. : ^ )

I also like the implication that despite being a TTar, Ryan couldn't be fucked to even TRY and stop the robber. Ain't being paid to have THAT conversation with the police...

That was a certified petrol station moment, sir. I dig it.

>>58901793
You can buy bread at our petrol stations, but only like really basic sandwich bread. We do have a lot of weird petrol station/grocery store hybrids with more extensive selections though. Some 7-11s and IGAs are like that.

>Just how adventurous is Mexico if you call this slice of life?
>If even just one of those things happened to me, I'd call it a damn crisis!
Thaaat's Pokemon, baby!

>>58902644
Pffft! Prof's made everyone else suffer from his over-thinking, now he himself must accordingly suffer! You just know that coin did indeed land on its side. I love how he ultimately makes what you could consider to be the right choice, but still winds up making it hard for himself. Bro flounders a little outside of his wheelhouse, just like most people in his intelligence bracket. Such a charming birb he is - definitely hoping to see more.

>>58907889
We'll keep a candle burning in the window for ya.

Will do the stuff for this thread later.

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>>58923743
Thanks man, always nice to have one of the regulars back again.

>>58923712
>you can’t pet me while I’m on the clock
Then I’ll pet you the instant you’re off the clock

>>58923712
I found my spirit animal. That first expression is me every bloody Monday morning. Also a cool idea for the cape to turn into a suit.

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>>58925429
I like the Slice of Life images out there for this thread. It's some of the best prompt-relatable Pokemon art out there.

>not a single Valentine’s story
Disappointing, but I guess it figures given where we are. Now how am I supposed to get my Larson and Emma shipping fanservice?

>>58926516
Where am I supposed to get my valentines dose of CopAnon and Layla?

More seriously, I hope CopAnon comes back, maybe with the protagonist spending some time doing police bureaucracy and random low stakes side cases, busy work, and panic or baseless speculation induced bullshit while our favorite Fedoark is forced to spend some time flying solo with the force, if that'll get the story out of any rut it might be stuck in.

>>58926621
VetPhox seems like the kind of person who would clean out an entire store’s supply of discounted after Valentine’s chocolate.

>>58927578
>Clean out entire store of valentines day chocolate
>Spend rest of the day regretting it
>Will do it again next year

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I wrote a oneshot about an idea I had the other day. It's on the heavier side, just so you know.

https://rentry.org/miensha-oneshots#retrograde

It's not valentine themed, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

>>58928291
Yeah that was pretty fucked up

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>Sucking air between your teeth helped.
>Your eye muscles shut tight as possible.
>Hair on your back rose, rippling as if you’d taken a blow.
>Supernatural embers drifted between your fingers, ready to ignite the moment you fed them fuel.
>All something to keep your mind off the scalding worming up your legs.
>Slamming a palm on the kitchen counter kept your balance.
>Each heartbeat drew it further up, as if it corrupted your blood.
>Had others heard your guttural rumbling, they’d be unsure if you were in pain or about to take someone’s head off.
>Even you weren’t sure.
>Part of you wanted to curl up.
>The other wanted to punch through the microwave.
>Claw tips dug into the counter’s varnish.
>The throaty growl relaxed as agony turned to ache.
>You cursed.
>Slowly, you flexed your toes.
>Carefully testing each digit.
>Too fast a motion might it up again.
>You gently put weight on your paw again.
>The hypersensitive, irritated skin stepped on a crumb.
>You jerked your foot up, wincing.
>The old, stale food felt sharp as glass.
>Again, you slowly eased your weight onto two paws.
>Just ridiculous.
>You’ve been electrocuted.
>Kicked.
>Bit.
>Clawed.
>Headbutted.
>Burned.
>And somehow, this topped most of it.
>Only the houndoom’s fiery breath was worse.
>This hurt your pride as much as your actual body.
>The hidden danger on every street and parking lot.
>Salt.
>Of all things.
>Road salt.
>Deicer.
>Sidewalk salt.
>Something-or-other chloride.
>Snow salt.
>Whatever it was, you cursed it.
>The ground was, until winter’s end, lava.
>Did all animals have to deal with this?

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>>58928731
>At a safe pace, you shuffled to your computer.
>You’ll be using it a lot these next few days.
>Entombed in your den… house…
>Human house.
>Stuck here again.
>No walking this off.
>Detouring to the bathroom, you sifted through the creams and balms.
>You could smell the fake coconuts and lemons and berries.
>Mom made you something whenever things got bad.
>Everyone used her poultices.
>Grinding willow bark and herbs down with her spikes in that, uh…
>Rocky bowl?
>And mixing it with honey into that gooey paste…
>That…
>You opened your eyes, not realizing you’d closed them.
>You shook your head, refocusing.
>Mom gave. Not made. Gave you them.
>Christmas gifts. Birthday gifts. Something from the store.
>Opened these tubs once or twice at most.
>You grabbed something that smelled lavender.
>It was at least five years old.
>Stepping on the carpet felt less stressful.
>So long as you didn’t drag and rugburn your delicate paw pads, you’d be fine.
>You’ll have to thank your actual, real human mom later.
>Smooth your relationship back to normalcy.
>As was possible in this strange new world.
>You sat at the edge of your computer chair, only scooching back when your tail was in a comfortable position.
>The cap of the moisturizer was greasy from the only other time you’d opened it.
>It took a minute of slippery turning before you made progress opening it.
>The pale cream was nice on the two fingers you dug in.
>Scooping out far more than needed felt wasteful.
>You did so anyway, pleased with the way it slipped between your large paw-fingers.
>You had so many jars you wouldn’t need to ration it.
>Your lucario-physique healed fast, save for burns.
>Hopefully this wouldn’t be as bad.
>The cool cream on your foot was liquid bliss.
>It seeped into the cracked skin and clumped around the short black fur on your paws.
>Pungent lavender and vanilla didn’t stop the pain welling back again.
>But it was a welcome distraction.

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>>58928745
>You worked through it, slathering lotion over your other foot.
>The backside of your heels, less irritated by the salt, also received a messy slathering.
>You wiped the excess on your leg fur, leaving white streaks on the short, gray-black hairs.
>You hit the computer’s power button with a wrist-spike.
>This next part, you expected, would be worse.
>You gathered your courage.
>Computer fans and hard-drives whirred to life.
>When did you last check?
>You rubbed your chest, hoping to wipe the last moisturizer away.
>Sighing, you gripped the mouse with an oily paw.
>You’d put off looking at it for so long.
>You opened the web browser.
>Curiosity outweighed accountability.
>Had to psyche yourself up.
>Needed to know how bad this would hit you.
>How bad you’d hurt your future these past months.
>You saw dogs wear boots.
>Someone in town had a Saint Bernard.
>That was a big breed.
>Were their paws your size?
>You hoped so.
>You winced seeing the prices.
>Protecting your paws was worth looking this dorky.
>Never expected to be wearing Velcro shoes again past kindergarten.
>Getting your size ticked total up.
>Getting the bottoms with good traction made the cost higher.
>Changing the color to match your fur, somehow, didn’t change the price. Thank God.
>With shipping and handling, you groaned one final time.
>Looking on the bright side, it was a set of four.
>Two pairs for you.
>Or one for you, and a gift for Kat.
>With a heavy sigh, you opened a second tab.
>Salt-pain was preferable entering your credentials.
>Your fingers slowly hopped from one letter to the next, leaving a greasy smear on each key.
>You expected hurt.
>And you were.
>Getting punched was preferable to this money stress.
>But somehow… It wasn’t as bad as you thought.
>You inhaled through your nose.
>And exhaled through your mouth.
>You’d have your boots.
>Anything after that, well…
>Somehow, you’d find a way.
>You always did.
>’Buy Now’.

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>>58928751
Updated aurabin: https://pastebin.com/dNfCG4se

Share your thoughts, comments, ideas for more scenes, etc. You always have fun ideas.
Wish I could write as much as I used to. Been reading everything posted here when I have free time.

>>58928291
Mmm... Depression.
My favorite. And what sticks with me. As much as I enjoy comfy stuff, stories with somber endings sticks way, WAY longer in my head.

>>58921754
Kill the others. Assume control.

>>58921631
Don't mix up jolticks that like type-C outlets with ones that love American outlets.

>>58928775
>Fucked up by sea salt
Aura Dog is going to end up moving to Florida at this rate.

>>58928291
Ooh, that hurts good. Really unique scenario too, with the memories crashing in on a body unprepared for it. I guess his brain changed first… I can never commit to harsh endings like this in my stories, even when I have harsh middles.
>>58928751
Ouch, never thought about this. I was gonna suggest kitten mittens, boots are probably smarter. Glad to have you back, Lucarioanon.
>>58928775
>Stories with somber ending stick longer in my head
Same here. I read a fic called Diaphanous Perception recently that still pops into my head to make me feel bad sometimes.

>>58918234
Story of exactly such an individual who, ironically, gets dissuaded from that path BY a Pokemon when?

>>58918283
Denji's expression in the picture is honestly perfect. A turned Pikachu being made to work on this Pokemon train thing is that perfect intersection not of whimsy and mundane realism as I'd normally cite, but rather absolute adorableness and starring existential horror. I'm definitely here for it. Wonder what PichuGuard would've thought of our boy...

>58920151
That COULD be a problem. Didn't think about that...

>>58920243
What problem is that?

>>58921631
Awww, Etienne's new squaddies have given him a new perspective - and he's such a good bean, too! Love ya, mountain noodle!

Let that be a lesson to you, Nick - electric types are poor insulators. Honestly that probably should've been obvious...

That should be "hung around". I guess Etienne's bodyplan is similar enough to a human's that he can be tested with the regular humans, while Nick and Joel need it more individualized?

>>58921754
Unfortunately the grammar is poor enough that it's genuinely difficult to read and follow in places. I like the idea - new friends and a new (if strange) lease on life, but the progression from one thought to the next feels rather abrupt. It seems like Michell barely blinks and then he's totally cool with all of it. The line about him no longer feeling alone also just kind of slaps us in the face like a wet fish without additional context. He could explain that thought after he has it, at least: "You'd been alone as long as you could remember..." would be the bare minimum I think.

I could try giving it a comprehensive proofreading pass if you'd like. Have you thought about taking remedial English classes of some kind?

>>58928291
The format kind of reminds me of Churchanon's story a little bit. I see we finally have a hard and fast timeline on the WHO getting their heads out of their asses - probably shouldn't cause issues for our other stories, unless there's any objections.

There's not much I can really say about Reto's actual story (incidentally, is Michelle referring to him as "Retro" in one sentence intentional?). It is what it is - very much speaks for itself. The fear and horror of the mind transforming first (and under such impossible circumstances at that) is perfectly executed - it's almost like speedrunning the bad ending of Ben's story in the best possible way.

I do have to admit that I don't relish such things the way Lucarioanon does. There's so much misery in the world already that I actually find dark, downer, and depressing stories are the ones that DON'T stick with me because they kinda just wind up getting tossed onto a vast and ever-growing pile, whereas a truly delightful and uplifting story, perfectly crafted, is like a single brilliant flower peeking up through the mire. That's very much personal preference though and I fully acknowledge that I'm the weird one there. You shouldn't take that as a sign that Reto's story isn't good (because it definitely is) or that you shouldn't spin it out into a full and proper story if you wanted to (because you definitely could).

>>58928751
I have to admit I had no idea about deicing salt fucking up paw pads like that - poor guy. Definitely something to consider for my PMDM setting. Seems to have forced Lucarioanon to confront some aspects of reality, though - that's good. Still very interested to see how he's going to go about stabilizing his finances. Ironically his relationship with his folks might be trickier. And the intrusive memories are always an issue, but hard to tell if they're getting worse or not.

>Wish I could write as much as I used to.
You're good, man. Your stuff is all the more a treat for its rarity

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>>58928751
>>58929411
Had to post in a rush and go. Last part needs a rewrite. Don't feel I made that clear enough. Will change on pastebin later.
His bank account is drained.

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>>58929596

>>58928751
I love how our auradog thinks of clothing in a more utilitarian way, while we had a discussion on the cultural aspect of "covering up". Puts a nice spin on things.
Salt fucking up paw pads didn't cross my mind before. Makes sense if you consider what salt does to the glass panel of an induction stove when dragging a pan over it...

>>58928775
>somber endings stick longer
I agree. I first got inspired by that gut punch of Emma meeting her Linoone neighbour. That one stuck with me way longer than the other stories.
I knew that I had a chance after the thought of pre-turning PIPS had crossed my mind a few days ago.

>>58929411
It does have some parallels to churchanon, doesn't it. I wonder how he's doing, it's been a while.

>WHO
I feel like the WHO would only do research and recommendations. FOPH (Federal Office of Health) would be the one enacting restrictions in CH. But I can't just throw random acronyms your way, that's why I used WHO first, before also mentioning FOPH.
>Retro instead of Reto
That wasn't intentional.
>Not a fan of misery in stories
That's fair, and one of the reasons I put it into a oneshot instead of WBIA.
>Spinning it into a full story
I thought about that, but I've decided against it for now. I feel like continuing would water down the impact. I do think a cameo wouldn't be out of the picture, though. Thun also is the city with the oldest (and biggest, methinks) military base in the country.

Also a little fun fact: That graveyard does actually exist, although you don't have a clear view of the lake from there.

>>58912708
Being turned into a doduo/dodrio would be nightmarish.

>>58929596
Yeah, I think the "it wasn't as bad as you thought" comment threw me off. However, to my reckoning it sort of doesn't matter whether he's flat broke or merely low (which is what I assumed), since either way I'm, again, still very interested to see how he's going to go about righting the financial ship moving forward. He STILL hasn't actually done anything about that, despite paying lip service to it several times.

>>58929789
>water down the impact
A fair concern. A cameo in WBIA's an acceptable compromise.

>>58929264
Gonna release a updated version with fixed grammar as for why he's so relaxed I'm going for a mystery dungeon vibe, having someone to help clam you down, at least for me I generally work like this my train of thought can be like this.

I had thoughts of suicide and just had a talk with myself and felt better.

>>58921673
>You are dreaming, or what feels like it, anyway. Your mind claws at you, screaming with countless voices. Then, all of a sudden, there is silence. Something happened, but you are not sure what.
>You awake to soft noises. Some kind of birds are chirping, you think to yourself. You hear someone whispering in your left ear before someone else shouts.
>"YO, WAKE UP!"
"AHHAHHH! HUH? WHAT?!" you exclaim, confused.
>"Why did you go and wake him up that way?" you hear a voice on your left say.
>"It was quicker, wasn't it? Plus, I figured he should see this," you hear a voice on your right say.
"What's going on? Who are you people?" you ask, confused and scared.
>"Why not look at the pool in front of you? It might help you get a clue," the voice on your left suggests.
You try to bend down, realizing you can barely do so. Your vision is foggy. You get a good look and realize... you're a damn Pokémon. An Alolan Exeggutor, to be accurate...

>>58921706
>So many questions rang in your head; "how" and "why" were pretty reasonable ones. So what did this mean for you?
>"Hey, I know you're having an existential situation, but you've gotta catch your breath," the right head said.
Taking a moment to calm yourself, you simply asked, "I guess I want to know, I know who I am, but what do I call you guys?"
>"Well, we're just the same as you, but also different," the leftmost head claimed.
>"Yeah, we're the other parts of you, but if you want names, uhhh, just call me Bubba," the right head chuckled.
>"If we must have a name, call me Luna," the left head said calmly.
Then suddenly, from behind, your tail spoke. "Call me Bob. Don't worry, I ain't much for talking, but I'll give advice every now and again if y'all don't mind."
Names. Something to at least go by here, something to use.
"Alright then. You know, I'm Mitchell. Well, I guess what we should do is figure out where we are, huh?" you said. The voices now had a face to put to them, even if it was something similar to yours.
Now the plan was: how do we even move? What controls what?
>"Just relax, think of it like stepping through the snow, just one step at a time," Luna spoke softly.
>So that's what you did. Standing up, you felt the weight of your whole body, you felt like a titan. With one step, you felt the earth shake under you. One nice thing about being so tall, you were imposing, and you felt it too. One step after another became a walk. You were getting into it, then it became a run. You could feel your goofy neck fly back. You felt alive in a strange way.

>>58921754
>You felt lighter, as if you truly weren't alone. You felt like you could fall back on someone for the harder stuff – one body, four minds to work from. And you were truly the center that grounded it all. It was magical, a feeling you could never put into words.
>"Hey!" you hear Bubba shout, telling you to stop. You halt before a cliff that offers a view of the entire island. Your mind races: Where were you? Were you in the Pokémon world, like Kanto, or somewhere like Alola? Surely Alola, right?
>You simply stare up at the moon. Not too far away, you can see other Pokémon. It feels surreal. You've seen the moon before; it's not entirely new, but it feels different somehow, magical even. You gaze longingly into the night sky. It feels intense, and you start to get choked up. You're not sure why, but you want to cry. But why? Thoughts swirl around in your head. Emotions make you feel like you're getting swallowed in it all.
>Then, a soft chirp comes from your side, and a slight rub against your head. "Shh, it's alright... You're not alone anymore," Luna says as Bubba rubs against your head.
>The swirling stops, and you are grounded again. The insanity of this... You wonder if there are others like you facing what you're facing. Other people turned into Pokémon—what a thought. But maybe it's not as far-fetched as it seems. Perhaps you could find a home here. You would try, as this was your life for now. And if things truly don't work out, maybe there's a way home.
>You would find your way; you always picked yourself up. Your will has seen you through the worst in life. Why lie down and die now, when there's so much to experience? You sit down, basking in the moonlight. The soft chirping of bug Pokémon surrounds you; some use you as shade to sleep under. You don't mind. Maybe you could help others here and truly learn what it means to be alive. One way or another, you would know.
"We'll figure it out together; that's what I truly know," you say softly.

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>>58930576

>You seemingly fell asleep again. You were still fairly tired, and apparently, everyone else, a part of you, did as well, waking up to the sunrise.
"Oahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" you yawned loudly. You were the one who was the first awake this time. You did a little shake and woke up the others.
>"Ughhh," groaned Bubba. "Did you have to wake me up so early? I was having a nice dream; I was eating a bunch of berries."
>"Well, I suppose it's only proper..." yawned Luna. "We did wake him up similarly."
You feel your collective stomach groan. "Well, I figure we should go and eat. I wonder if they have bananas... Hmm, do you guys think it's cannibalism for us to eat other fruits?"
>"I mean, maybe...? Technically, coconuts are a fruit, but we're not technically a tree; we're a sentient, magical creature," Bubba expounded.
>"Perhaps we should worry about the moral aspect later and worry about filling our stomachs," Luna corrected.
Luna had a point. Let's go get some food. Walking out, stomping around, the ground shaking with each step, you then see a massive pile of berries next to a tree.
>"Oh, hell yeah! We're dining today!"
Picking up pace after Bubba shared his excitement, you lean down and start chowing down. Suddenly, a Crabrawler pops out, shouting angrily at you.
>"Oi, ya fawking cunt, deez r my berrys, ya hear?! Go get ya own, ya overgrown fern!"
>"Well, that's rather rude," Luna said, feeling insulted.
>"YA WANNA GO, YA DAMN SHRIMP!?" Bubba rashly said. "LETS KICK THIS GUY'S ASS, MITCH!" Bubba followed up, saying.
Thinking on it for a bit, you figure you would have to fight to survive, right? This was the wild, and you were hungry. Plus, you had height and size on your side. Your face turns serious, your posture changes, and it turns into a scowl, making the small Crabrawler's posture change to a nervous one, but akin to a cornered animal.
"You wanna fight? Let's go, buddy."

>>58928731
>>58929411
>>58929789
Does salt fuck up dogs' pawpads as well? I live in a shitty mellow country that never gets ice or snow but I haven't really heard of dog boots being a mandatory thing in cities in colder climates, where I presume salting is common. Is it just something that's taken for granted so I never heard of it, or is our lucario just particularly weak to salt somehow?
I guess salt is a mineral and could be considered ground-type huehuehue

>>58930703
I think I only saw a single dog wearing shoes in my life, and Switzerland's cities love to throw salt at the first sight of snowflakes. As far as I know from a quick lookup, it can be a problem in the same way our own skin gets dry and forms micro-cuts / gets irritated. Add ice crystals and the literal salt in the wounds – et voilà – (aura) dog in pain.

I haven't checked this thread in a few months. Any major developments happen while I was gone?

>>58931364
Several new stories were added, several stories continued, and the biggest Lore Update™ is the prevalence of the in-universe pseudoscientific PIPS, or Pokemon Induced Psychosis Syndrome, as a catch-all description of the Pokemon instincts that affect people, those who remember things that never happened to them as a Pokemon, and things they've forgotten about who they were as a human.

>>58931375
So nothing too major. I think the PIPS idea was already being written in stories and just wasn't named.

>>58931383
It was, but now it's acknowledged as PIPS within the universe as a recognized condition that affects transformees to various degrees. Some are less affected than others, while others completely lose themselves to it.

>>58930703
Here's an epic game you can play at home right now. Pour some salt in a bowl and place your hand in it. After that, pick up some ice cubes with your hand and hold it for as long as possible. For added fun, scratch up your hand with a fork, or even a knife if you're feeling real dangerous, before putting it in salt.

Salt and ice mixed together creates a horrific burning sensation similar to frostbite on skin. Because of some "molecular polarity" effect that I'm too stupid to understand or explain.

>>58928745
>Entombed in your den… house… Human house.
>Mom made you something whenever things got bad.
>Everyone used her poultices.
>Grinding willow bark and herbs down with her spikes in that, uh…
>Rocky bowl?
>And mixing it with honey into that gooey paste…
>That…
>You opened your eyes, not realizing you’d closed them.
>You shook your head, refocusing.
>Mom gave. Not made. Gave you them.
Is he losing his mind?

>>58931803
He's been losing his mind for a while

>>58930582
I like this, Alolan Exeggutor is a cool mon for a protagonist. I don't think a multiheaded pokemon's been used yet? Kick that crab's ass

>>58931803
The false memories have plagued him for quite a while already. This time around he didn't catch it as quickly as the last few times.
Hell, I somehow didn't catch that his mom used her spike to create the remedy... I interpreted that as pestle and mortar somehow.
Do we have a slow Ben-ification on our hand?

>>58930582
That read way better!

>>58932190
Yup, should be the first, unless you want to count the oneshot of a guy turning into Falinks that was posted way back.

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>>58930582
Reads better for sure
Reminds me of an old prog metal album I liked called The Human Equation. Had a similar "guy getting swallowed by his personified emotions" thing going on. Luna especially reminds me of the Love character, they have similar calming effects on the MC.
>>58931364
You've missed one (1) update of Herding Cats
>>58931803
Aren't we all?

>>58929789
>It does have some parallels to churchanon, doesn't it. I wonder how he's doing, it's been a while.
Speak of the devil and he will appear.

Yeah I was gone a few months. I will not explain why but it's not been fun. And after such a long wait, I proudly present... Nothing!

Yeah wasn't doing anything productive here or anywhere. I made some very minor alterations to my story but I don't recommend rereading it because it was mostly typos that I never fixed. Hope to rectify my inactivity but I still have no plans for Isaac. One idea for a separate story in progress and I may post a draft later if I finish it today.

Only just now started reading the rest of the thread. Didn't expect to see my name mentioned. I read through the Swiss Army Mienshao story that's in the rentry. I like it a lot. Always enjoyed military shenanigans. I see a vague resemblance but my ideas of listing off news stories and department of health reports really isn't that unique. I just used them so often to kill time and fill page space.

One day I'll find the patience to go through all of Lucario's aura bin but it will definitely take time.

And there's your bump to keep the thread alive this morning

>>58933129
Sorry to hear you’ve had a rough couple of months, hope you’re on the other side of it.

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>Meanwhile, in Mienshao land

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>>58932709
Royal Ben!
>You've missed one (1) update of Herding Cats
Procrastination is one hell of a drug.

>>58933129
Damn, I can summon people now? Seriously though, great to have you back! I hope you're doing okay again. Also don't feel bad for doing nothing. There is no obligation here other than having fun of course. I do admit that I kinda miss Isaac and Jayden... but don't feel rushed, that rarely turns out great.

Glad you liked my story so far!
>Swiss Army Mienshao
I should probably either change the title of my story to that or ask Macho to change it to its Rentry title "Whipping Back Into Action". WBIA is still kind of a work in progress title, though.
If anyone has suggestions, please throw them my way.

>I see a vague resemblance but my ideas of listing off news stories and department of health reports really isn't that unique.
Correct me if I interpret that wrong, but this isn't about WBIA (SAM?), but the oneshot "Retrograde" I put up >>58928291 the other day. It has a religious element and a lot of it is journal entries, hence the comparison.

>>58933719
Mesmerising... I wish I was this flexible.

>>58933883
Oh, forgive me for being totally ignorant of ongoing conversations. I like the religious element of the story but I kept expecting the pastor to be a jigglypuff by the end with all the mentions of singing. The name "Retrograde" and the character being named Reto kept fucking with me. Felt like I was going crazy myself rereading and double checking his name. Outside of the pastor I see even less of a similarity. I didn't invent journal entries as a storytelling medium and only used them for about two seconds

And I got the exact same issue with the title for Isaac's story down to Macho never altering the name. I'd rather he not do it, though, because Spiritual Calling was a pretty thoughtless title. I don't have any suggestions for you unfortunately except that it should reference at least two key elements of your story. Apparently it adds depth to it. I was given that advice in a writing class once and didn't take it

>>58934026
Reto is a somewhat common name here in Switzerland. I chose Retrograde as a name for the story, because of "Retrograde PIPS" from Copanons story. I didn't intend for them to fuck with anyone, but I guess it kinda works in favour of it.

The parallel is Brother Halles decent into madness told through a journal with an abrupt end and mentions of religion. I see why people would compare the two, even though the tonality and result are different.

>reference at least two key elements
In Macho we trust, then! You can't get more descriptive than "Swiss Army Mienshao" after all. Kinda glad that I'm not the only one struggling with good titles.

>>58933883
>>58934026
In the early days, a number of the stories didn't really have titles, so I'd just put something descriptive (or, I hope at least, intriguingly mysterious in the case of 0332 and Digigirl) for the benefit of anybody reading through the archive looking for a story they might want to check out. That habit just kinda stuck, so I kept making sure each story's archive entry would inform a prospective reader just what it was they were getting into. I didn't see any problem with the listing in the archive and the story's actual, official title not matching, but if it's a concern for you guys I can change them.

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>>58919274
What a country. Good luck Pikachu-sama

>>58934489
It's no problem, just leave mine as it is for now. I'll hit you up if I ever have a better title for it.

>>58935077
Noted

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Technically I did finish my draft yesterday. It was just so shoddy I didn't want to post it. Here's the story a day late.

https://rentry.org/ua24k1ti

I introduce to the thread a character who very well may be immune to the late stage effects of the PIPS phenomenon, but for a very stupid reason that is entirely unique to him.

And on another note, why is 4chan forcing me to unblock its porn ads to post here now? Is adnauseum automatically clicking the ads for you not good enough?

>>58936337
>why is 4chan forcing me to unblock its porn ads to post here now?
Shouldn't be. It's using some trackers for its captcha (some cancer called spur.us, on top of the usual cloudflare) but the ads should be entirely unrelated.
>adnauseam
Could potentially break shit, on top of also just exposing you to ALL trackers. Try with a normal adblocker and see if it helps.

>>58936354
Adnauseum is built off of ublock origin with the basic addition of fucking with ad services but never once has either caused issues with the captcha before. I don't see why a captcha needs invasive trackers that trigger ad block. And no, using ublock did not fix it.

>>58936449
>with the basic addition of fucking with ad services
No, with the major change of loading and executing all ad scripts as opposed to blocking them outright. It may be built on top of ublock but its actual functionality is kind of the opposite of an ad blocker.

>using ublock did not fix it
That's one issue eliminated then at least.

Have you checked if spur.us is blocked? If so you need to whitelist it. If not then I dunno, hirojank is fucked for you maybe.
>I don't see why a captcha needs invasive trackers that trigger ad block
Because of muh proxy website

>>58936337
So the Umbreon has no ability to commit to long term memory? Yikes.

>>58936337
Ooh, that's a cool concept! Not having long-term memory AND having to rely on the Pokémon side as well is one hell of a combo. He's living his own Roguelike!
First I thought the voice would be akin to Etienne's little head mink, but with it taking full control later, it's actually closer to Ben's instincts. Cool to see a mix of the two PIPS manifestations!
I wouldn't say he's immune to PIPS, though, just the false memory part of it.
Should I make a Rentry page explaining all currently known aspects of PIPS and maybe other concepts as well, whenever they pop up? I feel like new readers could get easily confused by it.

Anyway, I'd like to subscribe to further updates of your story, please!

>adblocker and 4chan
Been using uBlock Origin together with Privacy Badger and strict tracking protection on Librewolf/Firefix and never had a problem.


I also updated my oneshot to correct that one instance of Reto being mistakenly spelt "Retro". The only Retro on the page should be the title now.

If this post went through then whatever the fuck I did to Adnauseum worked and you'll never hear me bitch about ads again.

>>58936747
I like both characters and wanted to mix and match. Simon was also a bit of an influence. It was also just easier to personify it for the dynamic

A rentry would be cool. Hell, write it from the perspective of a researcher writing a report. That'd be fun. I don't know if you can spoiler text in it but if you can, it'd be cool to include examples of existing characters with it.

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>>58934307
Ah yes Pre-transformation PIPS. Unironically an interesting concept.
But Pre-transformation Anterograde PIPS would probably be a bigger problem for everyone around. Memories getting corrupted is one thing. Imagine a family member start to act like a Malamar, Chandalure, or H.Zork out of nowhere. On one hand you get an realy warning sign. On the other you still have to deal with them acting in less than friendly ways.

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>>58936882

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>>58937054
Meh. Close enough.
>There were good days and there were bad days
>Times when you felt like you would just wake up and think back on the absurdity of it all the same way you try to explain a dream
>Other times, the permanence of everything just felt especially crushing, realizing that there was genuinely nothing you could do to ever get back to how life used to be
>Grooming and all the little habitual acts of upkeep you get used to were a perpetual reminder of your own being and showed both sides of the coin
>Why did you still own a pair of finger and toe nail clippers?
>The leathery feathered hands of yours had no nails to ever need trimming
>Early after your change, they existed in a state of superposition:
>Did you have a Thumb, Index, and Middle finger? Or a Thumb, Index/Middle combo, and Ring/Pinky combo?
>Nowadays, they seem to effortlessly be whatever you needed based on whatever task you had to do
>Thank heaven above for neuroplasticity
>The trimming and cleaning of your talons was a learning experience all its own
>But that too passed with some inspiration taken from other members of the animal kingdom
>If you think about it, there must be handbooks and guides on how to care for almost every species on Earth between Zoology, Veterinary Medicine, and Biology
>You couldn’t help but wonder how many other people in the world must be looking up these obscure care guides like yourself to try to troubleshoot their own new physiology
>Yes useless AI, I know Owls aren’t good pets but someone out there must have published something on how to care for them and there must be some kind of regiment for healthy scale care
>You eventually found a falconry website that was particularly helpful even if it looked straight out of 1997

>>58936841
Alright, I'll try and make a rentry about it. Can hopefully post something on Friday evening EST. I'm pretty sure that you can spoiler on Rentry, but I'll find a way in case it isn't working. A fake Wikipedia article could be funto do as well, I suppose.
I should be able to squeeze an update to WBIA in as well. Been riding a creative high as of late, which is very nice.

>>58936882
Pre-turning AntPIPS could be potentially sad and comedic as well. Imagine someone starting to behave like a bird Pokémon or a Snorlax. imagine the panic in the population if pre-turning PIPS would be a wider spread phenomenon. Probably wouldn't fit the "this is not the apocalypse" themeing as much anymore, as people start to worry about the smalles lapses in judgment.

>>58937054
*in TF2 Sniper's best owl expression*
HOOT HOOT

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>>58937663
>Your shaver? Basically useless for the past year
>Your toothbrush? You actually keep two now, one for internal mouth cleaning, and one for external beak and scale cleaning
>Not having teeth was definitely jarring for the first few weeks but hunger makes for a great problem solving motivator
>Your comb and brush?
>… That was one of those hard moments
>There was physical proof of your humanity sitting on your counter
>It was now impossible for more of those strands of hair to ever come into existence
>Once those were gone, there would be no more physical evidence of you ever being human and growing hair
>…
>You put them away in the same drawer as your shaver and bought a new appropriate brush for occasional avian use
>Some things, however, you were just forced to learn to deal with on your own
>Namely, your quills
>No guidebook in the world explains how a tree owl hybrid can continuously generate feathers in the shape of arrow bolts designed to be launched from a bow
>As far as you could tell, they naturally grew over time within your wings and came to the surface of your down when they were ready to be used
>If you ignored them long enough, they would naturally shed as new ones started to grow in
>Part of your new morning routine was to go through and preen/prune/(?) any that seemed to be ready to go
>You certainly couldn’t just walk around campus ready to accidentally stab someone if they bumped into you
>Even though they seemed secure and never poked through no matter how you jostled them, you played it as safe as you could
>That led to the obvious next question, what do you do with them?
>It’s never really cold enough for a fire, so you couldn’t burn them
>Throwing them in the trash seemed irresponsible
>You basically stacked them up in quivers made out of bamboo tubes outside in the hopes that they would start to compost or something
>Not much of a solution, but you hadn’t figured out anything better
>It’s basically wood right?

Two days of reading, several hours at a time. I am only 4,000 lines into the lucario story. I wish I was reading when this thread first started, this is so goddamn long.

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>>58937690
>The thought did occur to you to donate them to the materials science lab
>It would be nice to know more about what these things really are
>But at the same time, that sounded like a good way to become obligated to donating them or worse
>Spider silk is stronger than steel cables so some species get “milked” for their threads
>The thought of being conscripted into a living factory made you shudder
>Some things were better left kept to yourself
>You did set a few aside, however
>During one particularly brave day early after your change, you tried posing like the artwork from the silly kid’s games, just to see if you could do it
>If anyone had seen you, you would have been embarrassed and probably committed to the loony bin
>But you had to try, just once, to see how the things worked
>A pull on one of your vines and a silent whiz a moment later, and you had accidentally loosed an arrow into a nearby tree
>If any part of you felt any confidence and pride in accomplishing this, and you weren’t actually sure if there was, it was immediately overwritten by the “oh shit” reaction and logical realization you could really hurt or even kill someone
>The second, even sillier realization was that you couldn’t figure out how to get the arrow out.
>You tried pulling on it all you could, but the arrow head had to be embedded a good six inches into the tree
>You didn’t have the strength to snap it off either
>Did you permanently damage the tree?
>Was it going to die because of your stunt?
>How would you explain it to a landscaper or someone to come and remove it?
>You were getting worked up, was that because of some kind of plant type connection?
>SHHHHH
>Stop overthinking it!
>Just go inside and take some deep breaths
>…
>That was about three months ago now and that old tree is still there, just fine
>The arrow is still there too, but with the tree seemingly grafting it and using it to support a new growth branch
>God this is all so weird.

>>58937723
How do Professor D's instincts overlap with his lectures?

>>58937690
The hair thing got to me. I’ve always been very proud of mine, it’d be such an odd thing to lose.

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>>58937805
Basically nil, but that’s kind of the thrust of his character. He’s basically out-thought almost all of his Pokémon instincts so he’s pretty lost when it comes to doing Decidueye things. When he’s teaching, he’s focused on the material and trying to evaluate whether the students are absorbing it.

If you have an idea, however, I’d love to hear it. I want to include more classroom interactions with his students, but I struggle to think of how they would occur. Pretty much the entire class time is dedicated to lectures, solving problems, and answering questions.
>>58937825
Thanks. I was trying to get deeper into the little things you wouldn’t think of right away but that would constantly remind you of what you used to be.

>>58937723
>the tree seemingly grafting it and using it to support a new growth branch
Congratulations! You’re a father now!
Name him.
Name your son.

>>58938301
Maybe a transformed student comes by during office hours asking for advice?

>>58938301
>If you have an idea, however, I’d love to hear it. I want to include more classroom interactions with his students, but I struggle to think of how they would occur. Pretty much the entire class time is dedicated to lectures, solving problems, and answering questions.

If he got really into his lectures, to the point he wasn't really paying attention to what he was doing with himself, he'd probably go into autopilot; the less he was paying attention to his own behaviors, lost in his instruction and watching the class, the more he might start acting Decidueye-like.

>>58938918
It’d be so distracting to be watching his lecture and see him start spinning his head 360 degrees to look at stuff

>>58938957
Teacher can't make use of his unique bodily autonomy to look at things?

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>>58937708
>this is so goddamn long
I hope, at least, it's goddamn entertaining.
It was a great time where I could dedicate part of each day to writing, and put out something every one or two days for a while. The Copanon author was churning things out lickety-split then too. Respect his grind.

>>58934489
Someone suggested I title mine "We Were Pokemon". Good title. Would've used it, but by then a lot of other people started contributing. "Transformed Into a Lucario" is a suckass title but it got the point across. I'll change it at some point.

>>58937723
Love the way you write. Always enjoyable to read your style.

>>58930582
I saw a crabrawler the other day. Horrible creatures.

>>58936337
Enjoyable read so far. I'm liking this angle. Good work!

>>58939744
Thanks man, that means a lot coming from you. I hope our favorite Jackal finds a way to survive winter.
>>58938918
Being in a “flow state” could be a good point to explore, especially with the hood focus ability.
>>58938445
I like it, but I prefer a smaller “scope” where people who’ve turned are more rare.
>>58936337
Good grief. What a mess of a life to exist in. Here’s hoping he realizes some kind of way of writing things down, even if it’s just scratched into the mud. This isn’t looking good if he doesn’t get a chance to heal back up.
>>58928291
Chilling. Simply chilling. When you take a step back, it’s simply a very sad sheep but taking a closer look and it’s the end of everything.

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>>58940228
Meant to include this image

>>58939744
>>58932648
>>58932190

Yay now my ban is lifted, I can write more of the story, I spent my day trying and failing to get a working linix, probably just gonna go with windows just because my setup right is more compatible with it.

>>58940257
I also have another great idea, I wanna do a Mareaine story that has elements of pokemon, using the story of bomberman 64 aadding to it clearly to make it more a actual story and adventure with elements of prinny could I really be the hero.

>>58940228
The smaller scope thing can still work with the transformed student. Okay, that sounds clunky worded like that, but maybe the kid transferred in specifically because of the professor with a similar condition? Don't want to pressure you into this but it's an idea

>>58937723
Those were some great mentions of everyday items that would lose any meaning other than emotional. All those small, seemingly irrelevant things like having to look up care guides, the shaver and the comb are what pulled me into /sip/ from the very beginning.
Transformation is very often reduced to a fetish or "lol, I am a kewl creature now" with only rare mentions of what such an event would actually entail. I even learn new things about our world while writing and reading, like I had to look up how birds regulate body heat and why some hop around while others walked regularly.
So, kudos to you, and everyone else, for writing thought-provoking details like that!

>>58937708

Lucarioanon's story is around 30k words long, iirc. I wonder how long each other story is. Gotta do a spreadsheet at one point, I'm curious now.

>>58939663
Not many people know this, but Steven Hawking was completely fine and could move and talk normally. Big Science just forbid him to do anything to not distract anyone while giving lectures/presentations.

>>58940228
>I prefer a smaller “scope” where people who’ve turned are more rare.
I like the smaller scope as well, as it lets one focus on an individual. Having some other mons included certainly wouldn't hurt, though.

>>58940257
More coconut tree kino inbound, how exciting!
>Linux
Been penguin pilled for a while myself. I sympathise with the struggles of freeing yourself from the Windows shackles—took me multiple years and attempts to make the switch permanent. Never looked back since.

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>>58940750
Just checked, Herding Cats is about 17k so far. I aspire to have a work ethic like Lucarioanon's someday.

Holy hell, I am finally finished with all of it. It reads like a comic book, and that's far from a bad thing for me. I like all of the pokemon/human characters, particularly the Zoroark father. Definitely worth all the time. Thank you for your autism, sir.

And now I'm stuck in the unfortunate position of being forced to choose who I want to prioritize next. Too many choices, I'm probably just going to spin a wheel later.

>>58940805
17k and it's all gold. Doesn't feel nearly that long, though.

>>58940257
Linux nowadays is only as complicated as you want it to be. Mint and Bazzite pretty much install themselves. I'm not sure what hardware or distro you were using, but I'm sure there's a combination that would work if you wanted to continue trying.

Personal story. I made a dumb attempt to switch to Arch recently and nearly ruined my whole computer. Strongly don't recommend it. I wouldn't even think about suggesting it as a novelty unless you like reading wikis more than pokemon fanfiction.

>>58940875
I’d recommend Copanon next since it is tangentially connected and in the same “universe” even if it’s by a different author. Other than that, there’s no wrong answers so pick one that sounds interesting.

>>58940750
>>58940875

I tried ubutu but the install kept crashing as did mint but I got that to install after the crash, but I couldn't disable my internal wifi thing cause it was bad I use wifi dongle ugreen, keep in mind the install and doing tech was after hours of frustration.

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>>58942003
I got myself a Mareaine plush finally. So I feel I owe it to my favorite pokemon.

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>Earth, better known as the world of Pokémon, was a mostly peaceful place until a dangerous group of villains stole a powerful artifact called the Omni Cube.
>Led by a powerful figure, Altair, they have gone to various planets, stealing worlds for their own.
>You know nothing of this, as you are a simple Mareanie—a human from another world turned into a Pokémon.
>You have spent most of your day just getting accustomed to your new body.
>When these so-called invaders attacked, their powerful fortress laid siege to the islands below.
>The humans gathered around an inspired scientist who had seemingly built a rocket that could fly up safely to the base above.
>The Island Kahunas were gathered together, ready to face the enemy head-on.
>But it seemed there was an issue with them using it.
>"You must understand, while it would be great to send a local Kahuna up there..."
>"The rocket had to be small enough to not be detected by the fortress's sensors," the scientist, known as Dr. Hanu, explained.
>"So what you're saying is any of us is too big. Who could we possibly send with this machine then?" Hala asked.
>"If I understand correctly, a Pokémon is the only capable pilot. It could sneak in and disable the fortress from within!"
>A machine where only a Pokémon could use it?! The doctor had to be mad.
>But it could be possible; if they managed to pull this off, they could save the Earth.
>You were listening in, mostly thinking about food and wanting to chew food.
>But while everyone was thinking over what Pokémon to send, suddenly, some prankster Aipoms started chasing you. To scare you in your panic, you rushed towards the rocket.
>Hopping in, the damn thing had an auto-start system. Without a moment's notice, everyone turned around to see the damn thing start.
>Launching you towards the enemy!?
>"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" you scream in a panic as you are thrust into a new adventure—unknowing that you may be the hero everyone wanted, but the one they needed!

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>>58942570
>You, however, missed the so-called fortress and landed in the area known as Green Garden.
>A place which had an amazing alien-like structure, it looked like a giant greenhouse.
>You awake like a drunk who woke in an alley: tired, in pain, with a headache to match.
>Suddenly, you hear from an earpiece in the cockpit a call. Picking up the thing and putting it to your ear, you hear a befuddled Dr. Hanu.
>"Hello? Are you still alive?"
>You do your best to respond. "Uhhh, hello? Yes, I am alive? No thanks to your shitty rocket!"
>"Oh good, they're responding! That's great! Looks like it's a Mareanie that got shot up there." Did this motherfucker just not hear what you said?
>"Okay, Mareanie, it seems during your transition towards the fortress, the rocket was steered off course."
>"Okay, but how is that my problem?" you say, rather annoyed.
>"Well, if my hypothesis is correct, you should be able to still reach the fortress if you take out the four anchors connecting those four islands."
>This motherfucker really isn't listening?? Wait, is this because you're a Pokémon? You speak and you hear normal words, but do they just not hear you right? Fucking goddamnit.
>"You should be on one of them now. Please find the anchor and save everyone!"
>Great. Fucking great. Now you're the hero, not by choice, but because some fucking monkey pushed you into a damn ship by scaring you. Fucking cock-sucking, mother-fucking, cum-drinking sluts.

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>>58940750
51k now, as per Microsoft Word

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>>58942570
>Well, now what? Do you really want to help some assholes who just rocketed you against your will to a shitty fucking island for no reason?
>You sigh deeply. "Man, I don't want to do this. I really fucking don't. Every voice in my head says no," you think hard. "But it's fucking Pokémon, man... it's kind of like everyone's dream. Even haters couldn't hate this, saving Poké-friends... God fucking motherfucking damnit."
>You were beyond frustrated, and you weren't even used to this body. Alright, baby steps. Let's figure out stuff first: movement. You've got your tentacles—can you walk with those?
>Picking your body up, you carefully walk with your new limbs. It's clumsy at first, but you're feeling it. It's like having multiple legs, except they have better function.
>What about your slimy base? You try to move, but it's not really going until you hop, and you find you hop pretty well. A good leap takes you a good couple of feet and doesn't even exhaust you.

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>>58942713
"Alright, this is kind of epic." This shit's working now, but learning to move is like the baby mode; you kind of need to figure out the important stuff: Pokémon moves. How do you even know what moves you've got? Guess you'll try some ideas for it.
>You try your best to imagine shooting water—a big geyser! You then figure out Water Gun! With a burst from your mouth, you fire a little stream of water out. You're like a water hose on the max setting, so it's at least a start.
>What about a poison move? You're a Mareanie, after all. Let's try things. You try to think of the most toxic thing you could spit up—a vile Sludge Bomb slamming—the vision comes to life as... Poison Sting! But a rather impressive one, as you shoot stingers from all your, uh, "stingers."
>Well, not the grand attack you had in mind, but it's something, at least. Well, do you at least have Recover? You sting yourself slightly, then do your best to heal your wound with all your will, and you do it! You feel the magical effect of healing your wound; it’s like it wasn't even there at all.
"Oh, thank God. At least I have some insurance," you think to yourself. Now you can at least try not to die, hopefully, maybe. "Bleh, today is gonna suck," you admit, realizing how screwed you really are.

>tfw I just realized I might have been using some furfag’s sonas as my accompanying character artwork this whole time
Oh well. Death of the artist and all that.

>>58943125
It happens man, I need to draw own art to illustrate more, not a lot of the art I need to show of a more grumpy Mareanie, or even Exeggcute, just takes a lot of time.

I went through all the archives in the OP and made a little table with word count, character count, and date of its first posting. Oneshots were not counted, so weren't stories that weren't in the OP as of this thread.
https://rentry.org/fd9ise4o

Some stories aren't up to date on their Rentries. To all who are contributing, please update your Rentry/pastebin so others don't need to go through all the archived threads.
Notably Galisopodanon's Rentry wasn't updated with last threads update. I included the update in the table already, just so you know.
I might update the table in the future, but no promises.

Luckily I'm a hoarder and still had every single /sip/ thread bookmarked on my phone, including the very beginning! Enjoy a trip down memory lane, I guess: https://rentry.org/sip-down-memory-lane

Lastly, I created a Rentry page that explains concepts of the thread for easy access for new anons as well as us from the "old guard": https://rentry.org/sip-concepts
It's just PIPS for now, but I'll gladly update it with further things if the need arises. If anyone of you wants something in there, please let me know. It would also be fun to include even more characters in the "Notable Characters" section. If you want a character in, write a blurb and post it.

Feedback for all three pages is very much welcome!

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>>58940805
I believe in you! I could also just pester you every day until you write that chapter. Extrinsic motivation is one hell of a drug too!

>>58940875
I guess the OP would be the best way to read them in chronological order.
Throwing Super Macho Mon in there for good measure, though. It's also a lot shorter than Copanon's and is in the same continuity.

That reminds me of the other anon a few threads back that wanted an easy way to tell what each story includes with a short blurb or at least what Pokémon appear. I might do that one next. Maybe every active author could write a blurb about their stories and post it here, so we can get rid of the gazillion OP posts in the future.

>personal story
Been there, done that... currently happily running EndeavourOS (Arch-based) with zero issues. However, beginners should definitely start/stay with Mint or (K)ubuntu.

>>58942325
Cute!

>>58942570
I read your story and I'm still getting my thoughts in order. I can hopefully give feedback by tomorrow. All I'm gonna say for now, is that I'm conflicted by the premise of a space spanning group of villains with a MacGuffin.

>>58943125
Happens to the best of us, I'm afraid.

>>58943981
Well its heavily lifted from a game that was mostly a childs game, look up bomberman 64 and you will get a idea, the macguffin isn't much of anything than a plot device, I mostly going to developed the characters here more, rather the setting.

Don't worry its gonna be fun, and a bit cheesy.

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>>58942714
>Well, you figured out how to do basic moves; hopefully, you will pick up some tricks along the way. Let's get a feel for the surrounding area. There appear to be some goons running around guarding the place.
>Oh hey, other Pokémon. Ehh, something's up with them. It could be how they're wandering aimlessly, or how their eyes are pink. Hmm, mass mind control?
Well, let's not rush things. Let's get a feel for things. "Oh hey, water. I am suddenly really drawn to the rush river."
>Your ADHD,Pokémon brain is now drawn towards the water like a set of jiggling keys.
>You splash in the water for a bit, getting a feel for it. It's like your body knows already how to do it.
>You can even swim against the stream rather easily. Swimming up, you come into another area of this garden area: lots of flowers and grass Pokémon.
>Although you notice more about their eyes; either they all are toking up, or they really don't know what they're doing. These aren't good people running this place, clearly.
>You see a giant pyramid-like structure. It seems to be important—it's holding a crystal-like structure. Maybe that's the key, but how to get inside?
>Well, orbs—maybe doing something with them is the key. Every key has a door, after all.
>Hmm, maybe snapping one of the Pokémon out of it could help you out.
>But who would be able to help you? That's when you spot a Meowth. Cats are wise, right?
So... uhh... how to go about this? You could beat the shit out of them till they see reason. Wait... you're a Water Pokémon. Splash 'em with water.
>So you sneak up behind them; your body is tensed up.
>You then tap their back before saying, "HOWDY, NEIGHBOR!" before firing off a hard blast of Water Gun into their face.
>"NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the Meowth screams before you stop. He shakes his head. "THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU, BUB? YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YA MESSIN' WITH! I'M PART OF TEAM ROCKET, AND FURTHERMORE, I—wait. Where the heck am I?"
"Oh, cool. That worked," you say, surprised.

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>>58942570
>>58942628
>>58942713
>>58942714
>>58944296
Being honest with you, friend. You're throwing way too much at the reader. Zero idea what's going on. I don't understand the world, the stakes, the character, or why I should care. You're mixing together everything you like at once with no setup or focus.

>Fucking cock-sucking, mother-fucking, cum-drinking sluts.
Don't fall into the cursing trap. It's one thing if it's a gritty, raunchy setting, but if you want fun and cheesy it's not the way to go.

>>58944959
Adorable

>>58944959
You're adorable

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Quick bump, made a rentry for my offshoots so they don't get lost to the depths of the archives, feel free to add to the list post if necessary! It's linked in my "main" story regardless, just in case. https://rentry.co/kartanimator-disc-b

What a retarded and gay fetish.

>>58945449
Think you missed a board, mate: /trash/ and its transformation thread nonsense is thataway.

>>58936337
Aaah, I was hoping we were eventually going to get something like this. Kind of reminds me of Herdinganon's latest in that it's a truly horrifying scenario, but bro lacks the capacity to properly recognize it as such, so the impact is (purposefully) dulled.

>This is definitely the most reasonable time to panic.
I laughed

As others have said, bro seems to only be immune to retrograde PIPS (and even that feels questionable), definitely not the anterograde kind. The bad logic starts piling up almost immediately, but similar to PichuGuard, his errors are totally understandable.

As someone else said, the way the instinct "speaks" to the protagonist mirrors Etienne, while his sheer contempt for the instinct mirrors Simon. Then the way the instinct takes over to save the dude from his own incompetence mirrors Ben again. It's like we're combining the best elements of our other stories to create something that is simultaneously familiar yet also fresh and intriguing at the same time. I am absolutely here for it.

Huh. Would the instinct even have a concept of firearms? That feels more like a gestalt of Pokemon AND human thought patterns if anything. Interesting that the instinct also knows the names of every other Pokemon, since I think the most we established before was an instinct knowing its own species' name (and I think even that was only in Drifteranon's wild west AU one-shot). RIP Tatsugiri, in any case. Sure hope that was just one of the koi and not the family's daughter or some shit...

Okay, THEN the full horror of the situation hits our protagonist. Damn, that is ROUGH, dude... This definitely has a lot of potential to be "hard to read in a good way" as Herding Cats was. This works fine as a somewhat depressing one-shot similar to Reto’s, but if you have any plans to continue this one, I’d be very interested.

>>58936841
Mixing and matching definitely paid off. Kudos. Glad to have you back, Churchanon. Your writing is improving a lot.

>>58937723
Pffft. LLMs utterly shitting themselves trying to respond to the new phenomenon would be pretty hilarious actually. All these very intimate (and slightly melancholic) details of the day-to-day of ProfD's new routine are really fantastic. Him suddenly needing to actually USE his arrows would be an interesting moment. Also still waiting to see how his flying lessons pan out.

I mean, people donate all kinds of things without becoming obligated to keep donating forever, right? Once again we seem him frantically burying any possibility of instinct kicking in, which is a shame since a bow is merely a tool, one you could use responsibly or irresponsibly. It would be better to cultivate the skill and apply it safely, rather than living in constant fear of something that is now a natural part of yourself.

>the tree seemingly grafting it and using it to support a new growth branch
Oh that is actually fucking rad, dude. Have you considered that you can, in effect, use your arrows to coerce a tree to grow in any direction you want it to? Missed opportunities to pivot to a fruitful landscaping business right there. :^)

>>58939744
I think I proposed "We Were Pokemon" as a name for the thread and/or the shared universe the various stories were taking place in. You could always re-titled your story to "I Was a Lucario"

>>58940875
If not Copanon next (though that is what I'd recommend as well), Snivyanon's stories are great.

>>58943125
Which story's yours, sorry?

>>58943857
I'll have to update the Golisanon story archive for him at the end of the thread. Unless he'd prefer to start archiving his story himself (certainly I'd prefer it, but hey).

>archives
Man it took us WAY too long to get all our shit in one sock, didn't it?

>blurb
Sure. Might do that later.

>>58930576
The AI grammar helper has definitely improved things, but it wasn't able to catch some of the underlying structural issues. "something similar to yours" and "now the plan was" still don't make sense, for instance, and it still feels like Mitchell accepts these circumstances too readily. Having someone to help him calm down is great, but the way it's currently written it feels like he never really needing calming down at all.

>you were truly the center that grounded it all
How did he figure that out? If it's instinctual, make it clearer that the magical feeling is intrinsic - something coming from deep within himself. If it's something he has to learn, create a moment where he co-ordinates or brokers peace with the other heads.

How come the tail head that's facing completely the wrong way is the one to realize they were about to go over a cliff?

Mitchell looks at the view, then the moon, the he sees Pokemon while still staring at the moon. And he doesn't feel alone anymore despite there being no context for loneliness in this character. Again, it all just feels a bit abrupt and lacking connective tissue. It's a very nice idea - people are liking the concept and premise for good reason - but it needs more meat and would definitely benefit from a human proofreader.

Also, as is proving to be a common problem, tense issues. Present tense switches abruptly to past tense in the second post. Maybe just stick with past tense.

>>58930582
Moving onto the new stuff, I see quite a few tense and grammar snarls once again, through the Crawbrawler being Australian (with a sailor mouth to match) is amusing. I'm also noticing that your application of greentext arrows is quite inconsistent. Ideally, only the lines where Mitchell speaks should be non-green. I do appreciate him being willing to embrace the core tenant of being a Pokemon, and the connective tissue problem is less evident in this post, but as I said, a human proofreader definitely wouldn't go amiss.

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>>58944296
>After snapping the Meowth out of his trance, the cat demanded answers. "Look here bub, I have a very important schedule to keep, so make with the talks."
"You are rather demanding for someone who was just rescued from mind control; maybe I should alert the nearby guards and they could help with your free will problem," you say, rather annoyed.
>"SHHHHHH! Alright, I'm sorry, okay... I'm just not sure what's going on, so I'm a little concerned is all."
You sigh heavily. "I don't know either. One moment I'm getting used to my surroundings, next moment I'm shot up in a rocket up here."
>???: "Perhaps I could assist." The two of you turn around to see a man decked in armor, dressed up like he could fly. You both go to panic scream before he grabs your mouths and shuts them closed.
>"Relax, my name is Sirius... I'm also not from this world, but I do not seek yours or your world's destruction. I'll let you in on a secret: I've got a bone to pick with these guys. I will let you know now, if you plan to stop them, breaking the four anchors that tie worlds to their fortress won't be easy. Each world will be guarded by one that holds the anchor; once defeated, the chain will break."
You think about it for a second. Why would this guy know this? "Well, if that is true, 'Sirius,' how would you even know about this... you probably don't even understand my stupid ooga-booga pokemon speak."
>He chuckles. (Sirius): "Actually, I understand you just fine. I take it most people of this world don't truly understand the creatures that live here, so they must study them constantly."
>Both you and Meowth are taken back. Someone who can perfectly understand Pokémon speak? It took Meowth forever to speak the human tongue and this guy does it so casually. Who is this guy?

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>>58945987
>Sirius steps back with a clinking of his metallic boots. He isn't dressed like any of the grunts you've seen; his suit is streamlined, polished to a dull sheen, and lacks the garish 'R' branding. He carries himself with a disciplined grace.
>He gestures vaguely toward a massive viewport where swirling nebulas of purple and black energy seem to be dragging pieces of various landscapes into a central vortex.
>"The knowledge I possess is born of necessity," he explains, his voice resonating slightly within his helmet. "My home was one of the first to be tethered. I have watched the process from the inside.
>"As I am the creator of the weapon they now use, known simply as the 'Omni Cube,' the power it wields can shape worlds and change fate itself. I was a simple and humble scientist. Now I am a man fighting against fate."
Huh, the guy sounds sincere... still, he made the damn thing. Why would he make such a thing? "I guess that's understandable, but if you had made the Omni Cube, what exactly did you make it for? Surely you had good intentions with the thing."
>"Yes, I did. I had planned to change our world for the better to fix the blight our world faces. Being able to shape the world, I had planned to make the world healthier, fixing our ozone, healing the polluted state. Crops would grow twice as fast; rain would be plentiful... But now my world is nothing more than a memory here. Only its ghost exists now."
>Meowth interjects. "Well, what are these guys doing with it now? Why are they kidnapping and mind-controlling Pokémon?"
>"They plan on gathering enough worlds to make their own perfect world, where they will rule through mind-controlled grunts, and I'm afraid your species is doomed to fall under the same fate if you stand idle," Sirius says in a calm but stern tone.

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>>58946042
"Well, why us? Why would you help us? We're just a group of magical animals."
>Sirius chuckles: "You underestimate your abilities, friend. I’ve studied many creatures, and your kind has a unique sturdiness and power. Once you break the control of the surrounding 'Pokémon,' you will cause more trouble for these fools than they know what to do with."
>Meowth interjects. "Just who are these guys anyway? The logos bug me out. No way these guys are Team Rocket; we're way better and cooler," he says, before striking a pose.
You look at him, slightly cringing, before muttering under your breath: "I am not with him; I just needed a pair of hands..."

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>>58946326
>Sirius chuckles. "Well, you're right. They aren't this 'Team Rocket,' as you call them. They call themselves 'The Ready Force.' They have three generals, led by their leader, Altair—a powerful commander. Do not underestimate any of them; they are a truly dangerous group.
>"I will ask you to face these problems alone. I will assist you in any way I can; the enemy of my enemy, after all, is my friend."
>Sirius then says: "If you want to stop the mind control here, you need access to that center crystal. Once it's destroyed, everyone will be free. There are four panels around here; if you step on them, it should destroy one of the keys. Once all are destroyed, the mind control will be lifted. For now, I must go. I trust in your abilities. Good luck."
His armor suddenly morphed into a bird-like shape, and he took off like a jet. You still don't know how to feel about that guy—if he's trustworthy or not.
>Meowth then sighed. "Man, I thought he'd never shut up. Imagine falling for that guy's shtick; all that was the classic 'pity me' trope. That guy has 'backstabber' written all over him."
"So you don't trust him either, then," you say to Meowth.
>"Hah! Buddy, I've been with Team Rocket for years. We’ve done every trick in the book. That guy has 'shady' written all over him. He could be working with these 'Ready Force' guys."
You realize the cat has a point in that regard, but you have nothing to go on but Sirius's plan, and you can't really think of a better one.

>>58940265
It seems a shame to abandon your Exeggutor story (which had some good ideas) for a whole new story so quickly.

>>58942570
Alright, so while the grammar's a bit better than the Exeggutor story (even if the tense switching isn't), immediately we have some issues here. First off, not to put too fine a point on it, but this story has absolutely nothing to do with this thread, and there's probably a more appropriate place you could be posting it. What ultimately separates /sip/ stories from your more typical Mystery Dungeon-type stories is the excision of the isekai element, but here we have a typical human protag from our world thrust into the world of Pokemon. Even Lopunanon was at least a human already from the Pokemon world.

That aside, hurling the concepts of some new unknown artifact and an interstellar conqueror at our heads without easing us into things immediately starts us off on an awkward footing. I guess we'll just accept all that without getting to see any of it...

Okay, I can accept the people of Alola cobbling some harebrained scheme together in response to an alien invasion (Pokemon world humans ARE kind of chucklefucks, after all), but who the Hell builds a rocket with no solid idea of who's going to fly it? And what do you mean small enough to not be detected? It's a ROCKET... they're not exactly stealthy at any size...

Also, any sort of description of this fortress? What it looks like? What it's doing? No? Okay...

If all our protagonist can think about is food, why are they bothering to eavesdrop? The Aipoms chasing Mareanieanon into the rocket and it just taking off automatically is incredibly contrived and leaves us to think the protagonist is just going to be lead around by the nose by this plot, without being given opportunities to make decisions or even have a character of their own.

So far, none of the disparate elements you've incorporated come together well, leaving us not with a panoply of flavours, but more a bland slurry.

>>58945462
I appreciate the very detailed review. I only made the choice to have PIPS know the names of pokémon because the protagonist, at the very least, wouldn't be able to and I don't wanna play the whole "describing a pokémon without ever actually naming it" game because I personally find it annoying to read after the hundredth time. I wasn't sure if I was gonna write a second story, but if I did, I didn't want to have to deal with that happening constantly. Were there other alternatives? Probably. This was the easiest one.

I jokingly say he's immune to the anterograde variety because no matter how bad it gets in one day, it cannot progress further than one day at a time.

As for the concept of firearms, I'm not suggesting that it does know what they are on its own. Just that there was some encounter in this place the night before, or the human side right now can recognize a gun as dangerous and instincts can take that and run.

But I'm not trying to make a real existential horror out of all this. I imagine the Umbreon doesn't really care either. Human or pokémon, he has to live each night in the present. Thoughts about the past and future are nothing more than novelty ideas to toy around with for a while and mostly a waste of conscious thought. That's my perspective at least, and I'm okay with other people looking at this as a miserable nightmare scenario because there's plenty of reason to view it as that as well and maybe the character flips back and forth on it every night. Maybe this was a relatively good night for him?

Anyways, I've been workshopping ideas in my head because I didn't have many plans for a long-term story here, but people seem to like it and I liked writing it.

>>58946042
Shit, we got bomberman in this now? Can't believe I possess the ball knowledge to recognize that on picrel alone. This is a very interesting story to follow at least. Very bizarre but I can still enjoy reading it without taking it too seriously.

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>>58946795
It mostly a silly premise, I was gonna describe the fortress more in detail when we got there, cause right now I've been exploring the garden, more less, setting up the villains through Sirius, I haven't given on the other story,, I said prior I got my Mareanie plush and I felt I owed her a story, I figured something goofy, as for the other thing being the setting, I mean isn't a human become the pokemon being the main idea of the thread.
>What is this?
"People are turning into Pokemon. Some are having the time of their lives, and some are struggling to survive. These are their stories."
Kind a of a vague idea, although I get maybe you could infer its more about survival, but no where does it say that.
The survival could be anything realistically.
That's kind of why I went with more a isekai plot, something weird fun and wacky. My main inspiration for this beside the silly bomberman stuff. (prinny can i really be the hero) Where the hero is a dumbass who just shit thrown at him, the odds are 1 and 100 against him, so now he has to survive all the dumb shit thrown at him.
But thank you for the fair critique, I do think you should read more of the stuff here. I have basically wrote since I got up.

>>58942628
Uhh, what exactly is Green Garden? Am I supposed to know?

I can sympathize with your situation, Mareanieanon, and I get that you're supposed to be a human from our world, but please... the constant swearing is just exhausting and makes me disinclined from reading further...

Also, is Hanu just expecting this (as far as he knows) random Pokemon to obey his directives without question? Even expecting it to pick up the earpiece in the first place should've already seemed like a stroke of monumental luck. Also, if he can't understand what the protagonist is saying, why does he say "Well," as if he's responding to what the protagonist said?

Four anchors? Four islands? Details? Context? Anything...?

>>58942713
>>58942714
You really need to consolidate these shorter posts into fewer longer ones. You have 2,000 characters, use them.

If this is everyone's dream you sure don't sound it like, mate... Also, didn't you already know how to move? I guess maybe the instinct took over for the Aipoms, but it would be nice if we ever established anything...

Learning your moves was about as unceremonious as possible. Guess we're not making that interesting in this story...

>>58944296
Suddenly pyramid. At least the protagonist is using what advantages he has, even if only because of the instinct.

Orbs? What orbs?

>Cats are wise
Flawlessly logical!

>HOWDY NEIGHBOUR!
Giving Mareanieanon a southern hospitality vibe instead of just machine-gunning swears might have a prayer of letting them develop an actual personality in this story.

So it's Jessie and James' Meowth specifically? That sure was incredibly lucky...

>>58945987
I'm sorry, who is this Sirius guy supposed to be? For those of us who are unfamiliar with Bomberman, we're just completely lost at this point because you aren't doing the work necessary to introduce us to these concepts. Your "look up bomberman 64" from >>58944004 isn't adequate because relying on supplementary materials to enable the audience to make even the smallest amount of sense of your story is a serious writing mistake that, yes, has grown more common in recent years, but is still just as bad an idea now as when Final Fantasy XIII did it.

So the anchors tie the fortress to entire worlds now, not islands? What is going on...?

>>58946042
I'm sure Sirius doesn't look like an evil team grunt, but maybe we could've established what the evil team du jour's grunts actually look like at some point...

Viewport? I thought we were outside. Also, suddenly artificial black hole, I guess...

>The knowledge I possess is born of necessity
Heh, ain't that the truth...?

At least we're finally getting SOME context, albeit not nearly enough. Should I be concerned that Altair basically has the exact same evil plan as Chairman Drek from Ratchet & Clank?

>>58946326
Again with these needlessly short posts...

>>58946332
Nearest I can tell from a quick Google search, this "Ready Force" thing isn't part of the original Bomberman lore, so why deliberately create this momentary confusion in the audience with Team Rocket? What purpose does that serve?

>I will ask you to face these problems alone. I will assist you in any way I can;
Uhh, did you miss a "not" in there?

>There are four panels around here; if you step on them, it should destroy one of the keys
Ah yes, genius design features right up there with Plankton's coin operated self-destruct...

Well at least one person in this story has their head on straight. Meowth is immediately my favourite character.

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>In a way it made you feel vindicated.
>"Who?" you said before being immediately cut off.
>"I-I don't know anything about 71! He left a note in my mailbox telling me to go here and loot this place!" replied the scared creature.
>"Did he tell you where to take it at least?" you asked while applying enough force on the closet doors to push the piece of furniture to hit the wall behind it.
>"N-no... just that someone would come and pick it up from my house. I don't know who," replied the creature.
>"Why did you agree to this?" you said with a venomous hiss in your voice.
>"I don't know..." replied the creature.
>That response made you angry again.
>Angry enough that you proceeded to rip off another segment of the coin's edge till it was just barely holding.
>"AIEEEE!!! I NEEDED FOOD!!! I NEEDED MONEY!!! I NEEDED SHELTER!!! PLEASE!!!" screamed the creature.
>"So you were lying about the mailbox?" you asked.
>"... Yes... I've been living under a bridge ever since I turned... I just... I just woke up with a sticky note stuck to my face telling me to do it..." replied the creature in between bursts of crying.
>You entered your mind for a while.
>Who was this person, and who was 71?
>But in between the calculations you've been performing in your mind, you entered a moment of clarity.
>The realization that in essence you have been skinning someone alive for punishment and information.
>Potentially some kid that ran away from home, for all you knew.
>"H-Hello? C-Can I go now... P-Please?" you heard its voice.
>"I don't want to die..." continued the creature in between sobs.
>You looked outside the broken window and saw the horizon changing color.
>Dawn.
>You gathered all of your composure
>Put on a disguise.
>Opened the closet.
>And grabbed the sentient stack of coins by the throat.
>"Listen here. If I ever see you robbing another house, I'm going to do this to the rest of your body," you said while holding the clipped coin. "Do you understand?"

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>>58946957
>"Y-Yes..." replied the coin creature, sobbing.
>"Good. Now go back home and think about what you did, before I change my mind."
>"B-But I have none."
>"Not my problem. Go back under the bridge or to the forest or wherever."
>"B-But 71 is going to find me and kill me!"
>"Well I heard that the police made some accommodations for your kind."
>"I'm going to be dissected!"
>You just plucked another coin off one of the creatures stacks and put it in between your molars.
>An expression of fear was visible.
>"If you don't go away, it is going to be me doing the dissecting," you said sternly.
>"B-but..." the creature tried replying before you threw both coins back at it.
>They almost magnetically returned to their place.
>"10. 9. 8," you started counting down.
>By the time you said 7, the creature was dashing through the window.
>And by the time you reached 4, it was already off the property.
>"Fuck me," you said to yourself.
>It wasn't supposed to be like this...
>Showing some empathy, but the best you could give was apathy.
>You put one of your fingers in between your ribs when you thought your heart was.
>You switched to the opposite side of your chest.
>And then your wrists.
>And then neck.
>But the result was the same.
>You felt no pulse.
>No reminder of the fact that you were once alive.
>So you sat there slumped against the wall for who knows how long.
>But the cold orange of the morning sun peeking from behind the window frame was enough to pull you out of it.
>You stood up.
>Jumped through the window.
>And ran straight back using the rooftops to your friend's house.
>You needed to think.
>But there was that one thought in your mind you couldn't get rid off.
>"You started to really enjoy this."

>>58946887
Cause I was working with a error, I forgot to correct, again, if you really wanting a deep background, it literally doesn't exist, I'm basically making up most motives and character reasons, You seem to poke a lot of holes in a silly narrative that's not supposed to be that deep, fuck in the og game everyone is mostly one note. There's not even a name for the army. But fair points in all regards, as for the short posts I have to break up posts because I tend to write too long of message and I have to break it up somehow, its literally because the chat limit, and I don't want to fill out a thing half ass so I break them up at reasonable cut off points, I don't write in the 4chan thing, cause its to awkward to work with.

>>58946974
Oof. That was heavy.

>>58946950
Also the funny thing was the Ratchet & Clank thing was funny I haven't even played that in years, really I just went with the fact (oh their stealing planets, maybe their doing something with them idk.) That was my thought process maybe it was deep in my subconscious.

>>58946848
Yeah, I gotta admit, I'm really not feeling this one. It's very confusing, doesn't grab the reader, and the protagonist feels perfunctory in their own story. I really did like the Exeggutor concept better, even if I felt it needed work.

>silly premise
>fun, and a bit cheesy
Sure, that's all fine, but you gotta have SOME rhyme or reason, or else it devolves from being a silly romp to just being sound and fury signifying nothing.

>Kind of a vague idea
The "what is the lore?" section that comes immediately after that reads, "waking up still in the real world, but now as Pokemon". No, it isn't purely humans becoming Pokemon, because PMD already does that. If that's all it was, /sip/ would be redundant. It's built around humans becoming Pokemon in a specific context, one the Mareanie story, again, doesn't really fit with. We're pretty flexible in that regard, too, but you're getting into "Polychrome Joker from Balatro is a Magical Girl" territory.

>here the hero is a dumbass who just shit thrown at him, the odds are 1 and 100 against him
I guess I just don't find incompetent protags who are bereft of agency compelling.

>>58947002
Your post at >>58946326 is only 660/2000 characters. I'm almost certain you could be blocking the posts more efficiently than that.

The thing is that universe-ending stakes kind of demand a deep background - or at the VERY least comprehensible basic context. I mean, shit, even the Three Stooges get the latter, like "trying to look after a baby - shenanigans ensue", for example. The fact that you're trying to fill in the missing details yourself is a good thing - it at least means you're thinking about the Bomberman elements and not just copy-pasting them, but you need to properly ground us in the setting and circumstances before you go making the silly random stuff happen - comedy needs solid storytelling foundations every bit as much as tragedy does. And the story still isn't going to be all that relevant to /sip/ as a whole.

>>58947082
Yeah, that's really fair, I guess I went too far in one direction. I think I'm just admit it was a failed attempt, but I put the effort in for sure. I rather have done that, I'm not gonna give up on my Mareanie idea but might need to do something more grounded, simple, I think went with something too big in my head.

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>Dreams—they’re a wondrous thing, aren’t they? Some are small, simple; some are grand and impossible in scope. Some want money to be rich, some want fame, others just want a fresh start.
>You, however, got something different. You never had the best start and did a lot just to get by—a lot of it not being much to be proud of.
>And eventually... well, you got some vacancy in your brain there; not to say you had much up there at the time.
>Such is the fate of those who trifle with danger.
>But what if we did something different?
>What if we gave you a second chance, but under different circumstances?
>Life can bloom in strange directions.
>Let's see if by letting you have this, you might make up for your past mistakes.
>Life's all-encumbering doors open and let you choose.
>But let's remember where you are and where you might want to be.
>You were an unfortunate soul in the past. Let's forget that; who do you want to be now?
You give a vague thought; a name calls to you. "Thaumiel." >Ah, "Thaumiel"—a strange name for a strange creature. Tell me, Mr. Thaumiel... what was your favorite thing about life you can remember?

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>>58947391
You recall many things, but one thing sticks out to you: the sea. A vast endlessness, the forever-stretching sea, and the mysteries it held.
>Ah, the sea. Such a vast thing, isn't it? To live in it is something some have always desired. And tell me, what is your favorite fruit?
Strange, the idea of lemons and oranges enters your mind, but from where? You feel so formless, but something is coming from somewhere...
>Ah, the bitter citrus, filled with such conflicting flavors. Now tell me, are you a survivor, or do you already know your home?
You never recalled ever having a home; you always got by just getting what you needed. It was never too hard, so long as you knew what you were doing.
>Very good. Now, only one more question: do you like being mischievous, or do you like keeping your nose clean?
Your thoughts feel more solid. The question lingers in your mind... life's never been fun when you never take risks, and messing with others is always fun.
>Good to know that little bit of "you" is still in there. Alright, that’s enough for me to work with. You will be a Mareanie—the little troublemaker that you are. Escaping death, and now you've escaped with just a bit of lunch you stole. You’re hiding among a little alcove in the deep bay of Hoenn. Try not to draw too much attention to yourself, my child; you might find fate's deadly grip on you once more.

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>>58947399
>The transition from formless thought to physical reality is a cold, damp shock. The air in the alcove smells of salt and rotting kelp. It's such a change in feeling and thoughts from before. My body feels so strange; a sea of voices before suddenly stopping as you feel a body hit your head. "Bloop."
>What is going on, and why does your head hurt so damn much? Man, what a trippy experience. But then your thoughts turn towards your hands—or rather your tentacles—and you see food... bits and pieces of meat with some coral mixed in. An old part of you looks at it in disgust, but you’re hungry, and food is food.
>You take a bit of the meat first; it's chewy but good. It lacks a decent flavor, but the salt carries it. And next, the coral—you've never had such a strange thing and thought of it as food before, but you shrug and bite. The crunch as you bite feels good in your mouth; you bite hard, crunching it with your new teeth.
>Your new body has its advantages, it seems. Eating things that were once inedible is now like a five-course meal; it's nice. You look around; you're at sea—or rather, under the sea. What a strange experience, but exciting all the same. Swimming up, you see you're in a reef of some kind. How exciting: new body, new problems, new solutions. First off, food—you're going to need food. Well, like that voice said, you're a Mareanie now; let's make good use of that. Maybe you can pull off being cute for food. Well, first off, let's see if anything is even nearby.
>You swim up to the surface and pop up. It's raining. It feels nice, but looking around is hard as the waves are, well, wavy. It doesn't look like there's much around you... So, new plan: find people or a reliable source of food.

>>58947532
Minor error there mean to put you're instead of my. kek.

Finally caught up on Whipping Back Into Action. I think you've done a good job at making characters with good chemistry, Miensha. Nick and Joel felt like old friends, and Etienne fit right in. I'm interested in what this sport exam is going to look like for the three of them.

>>58948058
Also I really appreciate the glossary, I read the Picasso bit and thought it was a weird way of introducing a Smeargle character.

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>>58947532
>You roll an internal six-faced die in your head. It lands on four. Finding people sounds easier than searching for a source of food; after all, who could say no to a small Pokémon in need? Food and maybe a place to bed—you’ve just got to be mindful of any trainers. No sense in working for something when you can scam it for free.
>You swim west, sneaking by underwater. Keeping an eye out, Your plans, while small, could be something big one day; you’ve just got to scam your way to the top.
>Passing by the sites, you see A lot of rocks. Man, this place could go with some man-made islands—add some casinos, or hell, at least something along this route. It's just so dry, ironically.
>"I'm in Hoenn, right? That's what the voice said. As much as I love the water, I could use some visual variety. Bleh. I'm going to take a break. There’s a rock on the side here; maybe just take a nap or something."
>You take a rest on a perch on a rock. Various Pokémon swim and fly by, when one takes an interest in you, just chilling and minding your own business. It was a Wingull. "Wow, haven't seen a Pokémon like you around here before. Where ya from?"
>Oh lord, not a chatty one. "Uhhh, yeah... I'm a Mareanie."
>"that’s so cool! You must be from another region. Nice to meet new Pokémon. You know, my cousin—Arceus rest their soul—once found this new Pokémon. It was this crazy striped horse-like Pokémon who I swore was carrying around a water bottle of green tea. Wait, why was it carrying around a water bottle of green tea? Would it even be able to open it? Well, I guess it could find someone with hands to open it and—" blah blah blah blah blah.
>He's still going. He's still fucking going. How does a random damn bird have so much to say? He's still talking, oh my lord. Please kill me, smite me with a god-damn bolt of thunder that fries me. PLEASE LORD, STOP TALKING! You pray to whatever merciful god is out there in the middle of your internal dialogue to please shut this bird up.

>>58948327
Please enjoy shit meme image I drew up to show I am putting some effort in, and I just really enjoyed the idea.

Bump, didn’t finish S&W in time like I wanted, we’ll get em next time.

>>58948327
Lmao good doodle

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>>58948327

>Hoping for some kind of mercy, the Wingull's endless yapping stops as he has a sudden thought.
>"Hey, you were headed west, right? Were you heading toward the town? There's a lot of people there. I met this really nice girl—wonderful girl—she gave me a bunch of yummy berries. Have you ever had pancakes? Humans make the yummiest food. I had a sister—blah blah blah."
>And there he goes again. But he said something useful: humans and a town not too far away. Your eyes light up; you know he likes food. "OH WOW, LOOK OVER THERE! WHAT IS THAT HUGE BERRY PATCH?!"
>The Wingull quickly turns around, shouting, "Where!?" Not missing a beat, you hop down into the water and rush as fast as you can go. Sweet release—it's actually quiet. You can actually make it to the next town if you just keep a good pace, rushing past as quickly as you can, letting the current and your speed carry you.
>Before you know it, you wash up on shore. Looking around at the many beachgoers, you see a sign: Slateport Beach. Pretty neat spot. A good place to pull a ruse on some suckers, getting food and seeing where you can take it from there.
>Moving around, you see a woman who's sunbathing, so it's time to put that Pokémon charm to the test.
>"Marea!" you chirp out, getting her attention. As she looks down, you present yourself, making a heart shape with your tentacles and smiling while your head sits in the middle, before making fake stomach-growling noises.
>"Oh my, what an adorable Pokémon! I've never seen your kind around here before. Let me give you something," she says, handing over a berry. You greedily swipe it away, chomping on it with a glint of mischief in your eyes before returning to that fake, sweet little look.
>"Mareanie!" you sweetly chirp. The sunbather smiles. "Aren't you just the sweetest thing?"
>"Man, these people really are marks. Being a Pokémon is like easy street, hehehe," you snicker under your breath.

Can someone name a random dog pokemon for me to write into my story as a side character?

>>58949725
Um, how about bones?

>>58949727
And the species as what? Houndour?

>>58949736
Houndour or poochyena

>>58949725
Herdier

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>>58921631
>Twenty minutes you were waiting here now.
>Ten minutes ago, someone was supposed to come pick you up in the waiting area.
>Five minutes ago, some sergeant came and escorted Joel to his special fitness test.
>Now you were alone.
>Just you, the ticking of the clock on the wall next to you, and the tingly sensation in your right wing.
>You never were shocked by a taser before, let alone by an outlet!
>At least you knew now that you could survive 230 volts without ending up as roast chicken.
>Still, you hoped to newer experience that again.
>Getting hit by lightning mid flight would be disastrous...
>15 minutes late now...
>With nothing else to do, you started to think about your imminent special test.
>It was probably something similar to the regular sports exam. Planking, standing long jump, throwing a medicine ball, balancing on one leg, and running in circles with progressively less time between reaching checkpoints.
>Which of those things were you still able to do anyway?
>Doing the flamingo was still possible.
>So was jumping.
>Throwing a ball that was 80% of your weight and size would be a challenge―but with what hands would you even throw? Your stick legs certainly weren't up to the task.
>Running was awkward at best, too. You were just big enough to walk normally, but anything more than a brisk walk was in hopping territory.
>Maybe you'd have special tests that included flying? That would be absolutely delightful!
>You imagined yourself flying through an obstacle course – weaving, diving and gliding elegantly at blistering speeds.
>While you were psyching yourself up in your daydreams, an annoyed looking sergeant entered.
>"Private Nick?" he asked.
"Present," you replied, just like you'd been taught during your service.
>"Good, come along!" he commanded you. "The more time we lose here, the more time you'll lose for lunch."
"Understood," you replied slightly irritated.
>Of course their time-keeping mess would be your problem...

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>>58950414
>You followed the sergeant out of the room and through the entrance hall.
>He walked quickly, same as Etienne. A common sergeant illness it seemed.
>While you managed to keep up with Etienne and his short Mienshao legs just fine, following a human around was more taxing on your own physique.
>All you had to do was make it outside, then you could just fly alongside the sergeant.
>The sliding door of the entrance opened and both of you stepped outside.
>The weather was mild and overcast. The sun was shining through the gaps in the clouds and there was a slight breeze coming in from the west.
>Finally, no roof to contain you any longer!
>You spread your wings and leapt into the air.
>Your feathers immediately trapped the wind, and with just a few flaps you were in your element a few metres above the ground.
>However, your sense of freedom was cut short when you heard the sergeant shout angrily at you from below.
>"Private, to me!" he called you back in a stern voice.
>You begrudgingly followed suit and landed beside him.
>He looked down on you, both physically and mentally.
>"You are not permitted to take off until you are given the order to do so, understood?" he hissed at you.
"But I was going to fly-" you wanted to explain, before the sergeant cut you off.
>"Do I make myself clear?" he demanded with even more authority in his voice.
>Great, a loudmouth... No sense in arguing...
"Understood!" you replied with false élan in your voice to not agitate him further.
>"Good. Onward, march!" he said in a smug voice and began to jog, as if he knew you would struggle with keeping up with him.
>You hopped slightly behind him, struggling to keep up.
>You started to hop with a single flap between landing to keep the pace.
>Luckily the sergeant didn't yell at you for exploiting the grey area.
>You felt yourself getting hotter by the minute.
>You opened your beak and began to pant to cool yourself down a bit, but it hardly helped at all.

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>>58950420
>Your "jog" continued along the road to the bus stop and then a bit further to a large meadow, where a second guy in fatigues was standing by a modular vaulting box.
>He had his back to you and was looking at papers spread out on the padded surface.
>You overheard the sergeant calling him lieutenant, but it really didn't matter right now.
>You felt as hot as an industrial furnace and the panting did nothing.
>The distance from here to the recruitment centre was only around a kilometre, but you felt like you just finished a marathon.
>You could fly for hours without a break, but running really wasn't your thing anymore.
>You missed being able to sweat to get rid of excessive body heat...
>But being part fire-type had it's perks.
>You took a deep breath and concentrated on the flame sac in your belly.
>You started to feel all the heat flowing away from your exhausted body and towards this single organ.
>Once you felt cool enough, you turned away from the two talking militairs and jumped up into the air.
>On the apex of your jump – around chest height – you released the stored up energy out of your open beak.
>In order to not hurl the fire hazard towards the village, you flapped your wings to break the projectile up.
>Timing was everything. If you flapped your wings too early, the ember would hit them and explode in your face. If you flapped too late, however, you would just give it a speed boost.
>But if you hit it just right... perfection!
>You hit the ember with the very tips of your wings, giving the ember enough of a twist to break it up.
>The accompanying wind did the rest: A crescent-shaped shower of sparks spread out before you.
>The cackling of the dissipating embers startled the two soldiers behind you.
>You turned around while still in the air and landed with you facing the duo.
>You still felt the heat behind you, but your body felt refreshed.
>The sergeant was pale as a sheet, while the lieutenant looked in awe.

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>>58950425
>"That was a remarkable display, Private! But I'd appreciate if you gave us a warning next time," the officer said.
"Pardon me, running around makes me hot," you started to explain. "I can't sweat anymore, so that's how I get rid of most of the built up heat."
>It was either firing off an ember or panting for the better half of an hour, but they didn't need to know that.
>"Interesting..." he replied while rubbing his chin with his left hand. "Anyway, let's start with your test, shall we?"
>The lieutenant dismissed the silent and still pale sergeant, who saluted and then hurried back to the recruitment centre.
><Deserves him right!> you thought to yourself.
>"Please come and sit on the Swedish box, Private Nick," the officer invited you while making space on the vaulting box. "I prefer talking on eye level."
>You followed suit and hopped on to the gymnastic unit.
>He then started to explain why you had a special test and what the goal of it all was.
>Like you already guessed, you weren't built for the regular test and would most likely not reach the threshold to be considered fit for service.
>To give you a chance, they made some changes to the disciplines and how the points were calculated.

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>>58950432
>You started with the one-legged stance, as it was kept the same.
>You stood on your stronger leg and the lefty started the timer.
>The padded surface was solid enough to not throw you of balance, but it kept you active.
>Ten seconds―you closed your eyes.
>You were still okay, but not having a point of reference on the horizon anymore made it a bit more difficult.
>Twenty seconds―you threw your head back to "look" skywards.
>Your sense of balance was better than pre-turning, but it still caught you off guard.
>You keeled over pretty much immediately.
>"23 seconds, that would be five points," the lieutenant said.
"That last one caught me off guard..." you said while you stood up again.
>"You stood rock solid until then, though!" the officer remarked.
>You made yourself ready for your second attempt.

---

Having normal and boring human exercises with Etienne would be boring, so let's have a perspective shift, shall we?

This one will be a bit longer again, so I will stagger the part over a few days (weeks?) again. I'll update the Rentry once everything's done and posted here.

I did update the Rentry's glossary, though. New entries are "Swedish box", "Lefty", and "Fitness Test". I try and keep you all updated if I change or add stuff to the glossary, so you know what things are included.

>>58950447
Thanks for the update. I'm kind of surprised the officers didn't treat that as a negligent weapons discharge and tear Private Fletchinder a new cloaca.

>>58946974
Oh man, Layla really seems to lose herself in her sadism. Her trying to feel her own pulse and failing is a real gut punch of a line—great bloody job, Copanon!

>>58948058
Thank you! I hope to flesh out Nick some more in the current part, but great to hear that the chemistry landed where I wanted it to be.

>>58948072
>inb4 Smeargle lieutenant that will smear your face with paint if you piss him off
Seriously though, glad the glossary helps. Huge thank you to Drifteranon, who suggested the idea to me.
Again, if you see something missing in the glossary, just send it my way!

>>58947399
Alright, seeing that you already have a plethora of feedback for your first attempt with Mareanie, I'm not going to repeat the points of the others.
This premise is way more down to earth, but unfortunately you've just trodden in another minefield. The OP says that you shouldn't explain the cause of the transformations and that you should avoid legendaries. I'll turn a blind eye, though, as it's very vague and has no real significance (for now). Just keep the OP in mind in the future.

Other than that, I'm kinda missing the "oomph". Thaumiel (?) once again accepts his fate really quickly and your story jumps around all the time.
We as a reader don't have the time to really get into the character and feel something for him, because before we know it, another thing already happens. I feel like you could decelerate some more and go into more details. E.g. tell us how he feels having tentacles sprouting out of his head and him being able to breath underwater.

>>58948327
First of all, lovely doodle!
I like the interaction with the Wingull. Mareanie drifting off while he gets overrun with words is a nice touch, although I think the swearing as a bit over the top again – not as bad as in your first attempt, though.

>>58950574
>negligent weapons discharge
Damn, that's actually something I haven't considered. Guess I'll revisit the topic at a later point.

>>58950647
>Damn, that's actually something I haven't considered. Guess I'll revisit the topic at a later point.
Happy to help! I had no idea how the Swiss treat such incidents, and was interested to learn that they tend to take a very light hand in most regards, with standard response being fines, or threat of them, unless it turns into a pattern of behavior that endangers others.

>>58950673
No, we don't take things lightly when weapons are involved. I myself screamed at recruits and privates multiple times if they didn't handle their rifle with the respect they were supposed to have. I witnessed one close call on the shooting range and that private got yelled at by at least five different people for half an hour each. Handling a weapon properly and mindful is the second thing drilled into recruits, right after memorising all the ranks.

It just didn't click with me that moves could be considered weapons. Makes a lot of sense that they would be, though. Let's just say those two officers didn't realise the full destructive potential of moves either. The army hasn't had much experience with Pokémon, after all.
Maybe I let Etienne explode in Nick's face when he lets a move loose in his presence

>>58950447
Eugh, I figured flying everywhere might get exhausting but I never considered how bad walking everywhere when you're built to fly everywhere would feel. Good update, looking forward to more.
>>58950432
Some nitpicks
>the officer said
I'm sure it's more clear to you, as a military man, but I had to sit here and figure out who, between the sergeant and lieutenant, you meant. It's not that hard to figure out it's the lieutenant, but it's an unnecessary point of mild confusion.
I once got the advice that you should establish one name per character and only ever use that name in narration. I probably follow that too closely (to Herding Cats' detriment, I bet nobody remembers what breeds any of the cats are anymore) but the principle of mostly sticking to one name to reduce confusion is sound, IMO.
><Deserves him right!>
The expression is usually "serves him right" or "he deserved that." Maybe this is a British English thing but I've never heard "deserves him right."

>>58950647
Yeah, I tried to keep things vague everything about his life, I didn't say it was Arceus, more just memeing with the images, I kept everything as vague as possible like the guy could be from another world could be from the same one, could be the poke god, or just another one. As for who he is I intentionally, added the line. "You were an unfortunate soul in the past. Let's forget that; who do you want to be now?"
Implying who they were isn't important as its basically gone, like he can't even remember its mostly just a ghost, but you can infer who they were through there personality and actions.
I'm gonna take this slow, I want to show him being shitheel, I'm also gonna limit the swearing only added the f word to add emphasize to how frustrated without exploding because he didn't want to risk making enemys right off the bat.

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>>58950647
As for how lax he is, about exploring him being so indifferent I'm gonna explore that later, as while his past is nothing more than a ghost, a ghost tends to haunt you.

>>58950744
Im too deep in the sauce. Officers for me are lieutenant and up, while sergeant to warrant officers are NCOs in my head. I see the confusion and will try better in the future. Luckily the sergeant is gone now, so no more confusion at least.
As for the names, in the army you mostly don't say superiors names and just refer to them by their rank. As an example, unless there are multiple personell with the same rank present, Etienne would just be the sergeant to his direct subordinates. However, everyone wears their surname on their fatigues, so Nick should at least acknowledge their names to give the audience something to work with. Something for the upcoming parts and the rentry, I guess.

>deserves him right
Nope, that's just a certified Bone Apple Tea moment and most definitely a mistake on my part.

>>58950800
Alright then, let's see what you're cooking up in the personality department. You certainly piqued my interest more than with the Bomberman premise.
>f word
You can say "fuck", lad. And I get why he'd swear internally about the Wingull. Just a precautionary nudge, so it doesn't escalate into a rapid fire swear fest again. Swear words should be treated like spices—add them at the right moment and it elevates a scene's impact.

>>58950842
He can be lax and still be curious about his new environment and body. Especially in the beginning, where a reader doesn't know the characters, nor the world, it's important that you introduce them properly. You can of course leave intentional gaps and just give us a basic portrait, but the first impression shouldn't be ignored completely. You should definitely start giving us some meat on Mareanies character rather sooner than later. Currently he's just some devious little gremlin without too much else.

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>>58949705
>As you are enjoying your minor victory, the woman's Marill pops out of its Poké Ball, chirping happily alongside her. "Oh, hello Aqua! Did you enjoy your nap? Look, I made a new friend while you were sleeping! Just look at how adorable he is!"
>Her Marill then looks at you, her face contorting as if she is looking at complete garbage. You look back at her, feeling beyond insulted.
>"Okay, you two sit here while I get a camera—they're selling some at the shop. You two play nice now!" she says, walking away. You both turn toward each other, glaring with disdain.
>"Hey buddy, I think you're in the wrong spot; the dumpster is three blocks that way," the Marill says with a smug look.
>"Oh, my bad. I thought this beach was for the specially gifted, not the specially retarded," you say with a bright look.
>"Did you just c-call me a retard??!" she says, her face twitching with anger.
>"Well, I ain't calling you for supper, that's for damn sure. Maybe that's why your trainer caught you—because she felt bad. I mean, you are a Fairy-type; you're all a bit special in the head," you say with a wide, cruel smile.
>"YOU'RE DEAD!" she screams. She jumps at you—perfect timing for her trainer to return. "AQUA! What are you doing?!"
>Seeing an opportunity, you decide to play up your injuries.
>"Ohhhh, the painnnnnn! BLEAAAHH!" you cry out, making overexaggerated sounds, moaning and whimpering. Aqua looks at you, her eyes full of rage, as her trainer picks you up.
>"Aqua, you know better! This creature did nothing wrong; he was merely keeping me company, and you attacked him for no reason!" The young Marill tries to plead her case, but her trainer returns Aqua to her Poké Ball. Not before you stick your tongue out and blow a mischievous raspberry, however.

>>58950968
By "one name per character" I didn't necessarily mean a real name, just something the narration usually calls them. That can be a name, or it can be "the lieutenant," but it's when you start calling them other names like "the officer" that it can cause confusion. I probably do this more than I should, but I think generally keeping to one "name" per character and spicing in other descriptors when it's easy to tell who you're talking about is a good approach.

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>>58951088
>You are lavished with healing potions and love. She takes the camera she just bought and starts taking pictures of the two of you. Then, she pulls out some clothes for herself to wear, like a sundress to go over her bikini. As she does, a pair of glasses falls out of her bag.
>They seem to be some kind of fashion glasses, one lens pink and the other yellow. You put them on; they are just small enough to hug your head and stay there.
>"Oh, look at you! You look so perfect in those—a little fashion Pokémon! Oh, I have a little hat, too; it’s a little beret." She then grabs a makeup mirror and shows you how you look.
>It feels weird, but... you feel like... the clothes make you bigger somehow. Not in terms of your physical size, but you feel... more important. They do say the clothes make the man—or, in this case, the Pokémon. You give a smug look, teeth gleaming with intent.
>"Hehehe," you chuckle to yourself. A ghost of your past hits you for a moment: you see yourself surrounded by cash, sitting in a big chair with your tentacles around a woman, taking a big, important picture.
>You are a... BIG SHOT.
>That's what you see, and that's what you want to be. Working hard is for losers. Real winners take risks, throw it all down on a crapshoot, and scam those who just don't know better. You weren't going to let this chance slip by; you were a high roller. And the first rule of success: you have to look important. That's how you get noticed.
>"Oh, you look like a little gentleman!" the woman swoons. "You look absolutely perfect for a Contest Pokémon!"
>C-Contest? Oh lord, this chick is a Contest chick... Well, you should have guessed that when she started dressing you up. You hate Contests; the only good contest is one rigged in your favor. Hmm, maybe... the Contest Hall has a lot of stuff, right? A lot of stuff you can nab. "Hehehe." Perfect. And you can get some free food in the process. Brain, you did it again.

>>58951258
You I'm kind of pissed off... I can't normally never draw Mareanie well, but for this stupid meme, I somehow can draw fine, god damnit I'm so angry at my self, I hate how my brain works.

>>58948987
Now I finally did. You have a real knack for descriptions, Snivy. There's some real poetry in here. The Don Quixote dynamic between Valerie and Squire was a lot of fun to read too.

>>58946974
Seems our Gholdengo transformee wasn't able to square the circle Lucarioanon's been struggling with either, but unlike him, bro just gave up and started living that homeless "waiting to die" life. At least that revelation was a much-needed wakeup call for Layla. It might've been prudent to at least find out where the bridge is to open the possibility of setting up some sort of ambush for 71 or his goons later, but she's obviously not in the best headspace for doing "proper" police work right now. At best she's channeling the Punisher...

As someone else said, Layala realizing (or perhaps reaffirming - it seems likely she's done this before) she has no pulse is one of those "hard to read in a good way" moments. The fact that she's at least aware of the not-so-pleasant implications of her own sadism still gives me at least some hope that she can turn herself around, but I guess we'll have to see.

>>58947102
Going smaller and more grounded is similar to the advice I gave to Drifteranon - it's just ultimately what /sip/ is better suited for.

>>58947532
I can accept the notion that our Mareanie protag is merely hallucinating and not actually being spoken to by Arceus, but if that's the case I'm not convinced this sequence needed to exist in the first place. Did your story NEED a PMD quiz, or could Thaumiel (which feels like a bit of a pretentious name, but nevermind) have just woken up as a Mareanie like our other protags?

And yeah, as Meinsha said, it just bounds a long at a mile a minute without giving us any opportunity to settle in, get to know the character, actually experience what it's like being underwater, or anything really. Also, did they just wake up having already killed a Corsola? I'm confused... Also, how is finding people or a food source a new plan? Weren't you doing that already?

>>58948327
Since Thau was choosing between two options, why not a mental coin instead of a dice? That seems like the more obvious analogy.

>No sense in working for something when you can scam it for free.
Well at least we're getting SOME character establishment. Someone who wasn't necessarily the best person getting a new lease on life as a Pokemon IS something /sip/ probably could stand to explore more, so I'll give you that one.

>the sites
What sites? You need to establish things before you start using them in the story. Perhaps you meant "sights".

>add some casinos
Fair play, I chuckled.

>I could use some visual variety
7.8/10

Umm, why don't you just jump back in the water if you don't want to talk to the Wingull? Ya idiot. I do appreciate you taking the time to add some of your own illustrations though.

>>58949705
Thau just so happened to pick the direction land was in. How lucky. I actually like seeing him act the scoundrel and do these cutesy con artist shenanigans, though. It's character establishing and it amuses me because I know what massive chucklefucks Pokemon world humans tend to be, so it feels like it should only be a matter of time before Thau gets cocky and gets himself into some trouble. At least that's what I'd do with this. Either way, you'd definitely want to slow down and let both Thau and us explore and feel things out more - get into more of the details of the scams and what people and Pokemon are around. Colour and fill out the world instead of just blitzing from one set piece to the next. You don't need to rush all the time. Of course there's still plenty of grammar and story structure issues, but this post is a noticeable improvement on all of your previous stuff.

>>58951966
Yeah, thats fair I mean when I think about realistically that whole segment can be removed, I guess In my head I wanted a actual reason why he even transformed into a pokemon.
>>58952006
Thats why I'm gonna take my time slateport and the contest stuff is gonna be a around for a while, and hes gonna get up to shenanigans, I think I'm gonna make gonna make it more proper city like, Oh yeah as for where he was, he was on that route with the heavy currents that lead to slate port, but I didn't really know how to convay the route without it being werid, I mean the fishing village to slate port is a bit barren.

>>58951088
I do like how the lady's Marill immediately smells a rat - Pikablue being mean is fun to see. I don't find "retard" offensive like some people do, but it feels a little jarring here. And then of course in true "no tolerance bullying policy" fashion, Aqua's trainer returns at the worst possible moment. But it's amusing rather than frustrating because even though Thau IS a rat, TECHNICALLY Aqua started it.

Hey, look at that, you slow down and allow things and characters to happen and you get a sequence that actually flows and is fun to read. And it's coming out of a small, playful slice of life moment rather than a world-ending crisis. Who would've thought, right?

>>58951258
I have no idea why this lady would be carrying Spamton glasses, but the provided visual image is too perfect. A fun thing would be if Aqua absolutely despises these "cute clothes" her trainer likes to put on her, and can only glare at Thau loving them. However, whilst I appreciate getting the first inklings of who Thau was prior to transforming, actually outright saying "BIG SHOT" makes the reference too on-the-nose.

What I do like though is how Thau's logic is ALMOST coherent. Like if they just had two moral brain cells to rub together they could really make something of themselves, but as it is they're gonna have to learn numerous lessons the hard way first. The protagonist being a shit but being cute about it reminds me of the comic PMD: Another Perspective and I fucking LOVE that comic. Highly recommend it even though it's unfinished and dead - might even give you some useful inspiration for your own story.

Contests, huh? Oooh, dis gon' be fun~

Just OUT OF SIGHT improvement, my dude. Massive kudos. If you ever want me to proofread your stuff before you post it, just shout. I'd love to help.

>>58951269
Maybe you just needed the right inspiration.

>>58952021
>a actual reason
Well as Meinsha pointed out, that kinda goes against a core tenant of /sip/. Granted yours is a bit different because it's set in the Pokemon world like Lopunanon, but still better to keep these things mysterious such that your story better aligns thematically with the rest of the stable, I'd argue.

>I'm gonna take my time slateport and the contest stuff is gonna be a around for a while, and hes gonna get up to shenanigans
I'm incredibly pleased to hear that. You've very much started to take your writing in a positive direction and I hope to see you continue to improve. You're on the right track now - keep it up.

>I didn't really know how to convay the route without it being werid
We're always here if you need to bounce ideas before writing something.

How many people here have visited the fanfic general to read other anons' works or written any themselves before this thread?

>>58952271
I've been a lurker on /pmdg/ for quite a while. The fanfic thread doesn't interest me. By the looks of it not many links are posted to fanfics anyway?

/sip/ has been my first outing and will probably be the only one for the foreseeable future.

https://www.pokeos.com/ja/archive/art/Anniversary/30th%20Anniversary/Pok%C3%A9mon%20Logos
Some neat official art but it gives me a weird vibe.

It feels like the kind of thing The Pokémon Company and the Japanese government would require turned people to wear as a button/badge.
>”The purpose is to help officially identify what type of Pokémon an afflicted individual has been turned into.”
>But can’t I just tell by looking?
>”Some Pokémon can change their appearance and not everyone is familiar every single Pokémon.”
>But can’t people hide the badge or not wear it?
>”We heavily encourage everyone who has been turned into a Pokémon to wear their badge while in public to make this unprecedented time safer for all of society.”