This chanko is decent. Kind of exactly how I thought it'd be desu. The stock plus onions sauce adds a ton of flavour.

Have any of you actually tried sumo wrestling

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>>256104
I do stuff like this sometimes.

>>256104
No but I've watched fat men fight.

I'd actually be up for joining an amateur sumo club. I imagine it being sort of like Fight Club where it's just dudes just exerting themselves to get it out of their system, minus the part where people break each other's faces apart.

KUSANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kusa, yes!

>>256106
I've tried it recently, it's really fun

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Futaslop
https://youtu.be/nQsY0xSLaO4?si=CVMdI48Ht6CPF-3i

>の
>ノ
>乃

Rank them in order of shikona kino. Shikino, if you will.

>>256113
ノ>の>之>乃

>>256112
Shunta has nice hair.

>>256112
Good to see Nabatame hasn't lost his power, even if that's two month old video. Also Roga giving his chest to Sandanme shitters is just a humiliation ritual lmao, none of them got close. I guess he only recently got that mawashi and is breaking it in? Never seen a silk mawashi used in training before.

>>256116
>he only recently got that mawashi and is breaking it in
Correct. Common practice for a new one.

Speaking of mawashi I don't like Onosato's new darker blue one. The emerald one he uses on tour looks nice.

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>>256104
Yes! I went to one of Konishiki’s touring events. My wife paid the extra bit so I could fight one of the guys after all the exhibition stuff. I took it autistically serious and ate like crazy for months leading up to the event. Went from my normal 178 to 199 in like 4 months (fat and muscle, please don’t bully). It’s a real chore to eat so much.
>day of event
>first two guys klutz around and get tossed
>pick who you want to fight
>pick the heaviest dude who also won the exhibition tournament
>hit him as hard as I possibly can at the tachiai
>genuinely push him back a couple steps
>real momentum stops
>try to trip him, no fucking way. It was like a tree
>try to work an arm in
>get katasukashi’d, flipped and spun 180
It was a really great time and I got pictures with all the guys afterwards

>>256123
Sorry, don’t know why it uploaded sideways.

>>256123
Lol lmao you got put to your place jonidan man

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>>256124
because you're low IQ

>>256123
Based. Absolute unit.

When I do amatuer sumo it's against other novices so really fun.

>>256104
I tried to get some of my judo buddies to do it with me, but they didn't want to.

>>256104
Coach ran sumo drills for linesmen back in high school, but I've never been in a real bout, even amateur.

>>256127
would have been funnier if your image was sideways too

>>256064
osaka is the rowdiest stadium too. it should be good

>>256138
the keks after dan pwns horseyru again are going to be deafening

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Tochi's restaurant is open
Jap basedboys can now go to le foreign restaurant to have le authentic novelty foreign slop

I would eat at Orgian Ho.

restaurant gonna go out of business cause all the Georgians in Japan are massively dieting

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>>256142
looks sloppy

>>256145
Georgia is a poorfag country so their food is necessarily going to be slop.

>>256145
I'd chanko that nabe.

Any bold banzuke predictions?

>>256150
Hoshoryu will be listed at the top right.... in bold.

Maybe I'll remember to make a bingo card this time, though obviously not until the banzuke is out.
Here's what I have so far:
>Yoshinofuji gets another kinboshi
>Uchimuso
>Shimpan bowling
>Tom #1 makuuchi fights
>Blood
>Torinaoshi
>Fusen
>Rare kimarite
>Playoff
>Loss to Juryo
>Gyoji falls over

>>256153
cushion throwing should be automatic win

>>256155
With the kinboshi printers we have right now? No way.

>>256150
roga won't change rank

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>>256148

>>256155
osaka zambutons are nailed to the floor and celebratory throwers are subject to execution. I don't know why the jsa is trying so hard to kill the tradition, but they are

>>256153
You could swap blood for Oho's cut re-opening.

>>256158
Roga going 7-8 sounds like a bingo square.

>>256116
>just a humiliation ritual lmao, none of them got close
why is this, is it that they are skipping leg day too much or more technique? roga looked like he was just messing with ten year olds

>>256168
Most rikishi aren't naturally strong and don't try very hard because they're content to live in fatso daycare. What you're seeing is fat losers get exposed. Roga's last weigh in was 156kg which isn't even that heavy all things considered.

>>256123
Nice

>>256170
>and don't try very hard because they're content to live in fatso daycare
Futagoyama losers are guilty of that far more than the denizens of most stables are. Futagoyama is a joke stable, only trash would agree to go there.

If I were to join a stable it wouldn’t be futogoyama it seems very sterile and autistic there. Somewhere like otake would be much better.

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There is nothing humiliating about not being able to push Roga.

>>256182
>Futagoyama is a joke stable
Fucking what? Three sekitori is not a joke stable.

>>256189
1 sekitori

>>256190
Mita and Nabatame are sekitori level and your irrational hatred of Futagoyama won't change that.

>>256188
>Asakoryu, tired of being bullied in Makuuchi, takes it out on his stablemates

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>>256191
I don't hate them, you were just wrong.

>>256191
sumo is littered with trash who can still barely manage to make juryo for two or three bashoes

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>>256194
Indeed.

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>be 12 time champ yokozuna
>open stable in tokyo
>still no sekitori after 13 years
what went wrong?

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>>256196
Nothing wrong, bro. Everyone is smiling, bro. Aloha spirit!

>>256196
He is doing his style of coaching

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>>256199
>He is doing his style of coaching

>>256200
Maybe if he had coached Onosato he would have told Ono to bend his elbows.

>>256196
Musashimaru could probably get diagnosed as brain damaged. Have you even heard the guy talk? I know he doesn't use English much these days but holy shit man:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNZr4Oeuyrw

Also that Maezumo clip of him. Holy shit what ridiculous power.

>>256202
Onosato's dohyo-iri being so shit remains an enigma. I actually kinda like Hosh's desu. Can't wait until he gets so jaded and hurt that he gives the crowd that Akebono death stare.

>>256196
dan jr will rise up and bring back the PIA era

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I used to like Hoshoryu's dohyo-iri, but he's subtly changed it recently so that his arms are almost vertical when he does the chirichozu bit. I prefer when they stay horizontal.

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>>256208

>>256208
Hiradoumi must be so fucking sick of holding that sword.

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>>256210
He just imagines that it's a bone.

>>256211
God I love that lil nigga. He got that dog in him.

https://strawpoll.com/Q0Zp7rWQ6gM
https://strawpoll.com/Q0Zp7rWQ6gM
https://strawpoll.com/Q0Zp7rWQ6gM
https://strawpoll.com/Q0Zp7rWQ6gM
https://strawpoll.com/Q0Zp7rWQ6gM

ALRIGHT YOU FUCKING GAYLORDS LETS GET YOUR VOTES IN RIGHT FUCKING NOW

If the International Sumo Federation wants Sumo in the Olympics so bad why did they get so pissy about El-sefy celebrating those years ago at the World Games.
If you want to preserve the Shinto religious aspects why in the world are you trying to make it an international sport.
Who the hell is going to look at it as anything more than something funny Japanese people do if you insist on enforcing the Shinto religious values?
I'm not saying Sumo has to be diluted, but if you want to be international, and god forbid in the Olympics, you have to dilute it obviously. I'm not the one saying it should be in the Olympics, the ISF is.
Olympics is a reality TV show fundamentally, so of course in order to be in you need to have the winners cry and jump for joy as the coach rushes in to hug them and give them a flag to shake around. If you don't allow that its not even up for debate. And frankly even if the Olympics did allow that there's no way it would become international anyway.

>>256218
international sumo is full of ruskis so it's not going to happen

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>>256218
>>256218
>you need to have the winners cry and jump for joy as the coach rushes in to hug them
No one is trying to stop them from doing that. Just don't do a backflip on my heckin' dohyo, camelfucker. And definitely don't pull a Hakuho and completely chimp out over a decision that doesn't go your way. It's not hard.

>>256142
Tochi is looking good.

>>256214
Who the hell do you think will win March if not the big three?

>>256230
Kirishima or Atamifuji.

>>256232
Kirishitma is a bold pick. Atami is a suicidal pick. Great as he did last basho he didn't have to face many of the top guys, including:
>Takayasu
>Oho?
>WMH
>Yoshi
He primarily plugged away at the M5-7 dudes. Sure he double 'boshi'd, but he also lost to both Ozeki. If he goes double digits he'll have had an incredible basho, but he sure as hell ain't winning it.

>>256230
oho, he shat the bed in sanyaku again, time to get double digits.

banzuke doko?

>>256248
Three day weekend.

>>256234
Oho chads can he do it this basho? I thought last basho was his time to shine but other than beating Dan he didn’t look too good. Why can oho beat Dan but no one else? Will it ever be our day in the sun?

>>256251
He will KK with double digits this basho, with win over Onosharto and Aonishiki

Oho is the new Shodai. He exists to ruin storylines.

>>256253
him ruining kinbozo yusho was pretty kino

>>256254
That was the basho where Shodai handed Hosh his 2nd loss and everyone thought the rope run was over. Hiradoumi simply made everyone nod in agreement.

its out

onokatsu is at m6w for the 3rd basho in a row with 7-8

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OUR HEROES

>4-11 Ichiyamamoto M1e -> M6e

wtf even is this. All of 2025 Ichi had insane banzuke luck. I like him, but cmon.
Also Ura with 4-11 went from M2e to M8e. Why ????
Fucking Takanosho with 5-10 went from M3e to M4w LMAOOOOOO

>>256264
sometimes i wish they took in results from the previous basho and tried to equalize the rankings. takanosho still in the joi after two 5-10s from komusubi is pretty stupid.

>>256264
>Ura with 4-11 went from M2e to M8e
>Takanosho with 5-10 went from M3e to M4w
i get that they factor in strength of opponents but that's ridiculous

>>256230
>the big three
Horseryu isn't part of any "big three" or any other sort of superlative group. As things currently stand in sumo, there is one big guy and that guy is Dan.

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>>256267
>there is one big guy
excuse you

>>256268
>le 10-5 face
only a kwab would lose as many as 5 in makuuchi
and imagine how little hinkaku you'd have to posses to lose that much as a yokozuna

My dick throbbing thoughts
>Atami making his Sanyaku debut fuck YEAH
>WTK beating Yoshi to M1e is questionable
>The Ultimate Manlet at M2e fuck yeah
>Goshima making his Makuuchi debut fuck yeah
>Holy shit they actually demoted Roga on 7-8?!?!?
>Enho at only Ms4e? Fuck outta here
>Okaryu is so close to Sekitori come on my dude you can do it

>>256151
He was right!

Is Ura unironically the best pick for mid-maegashira? No-one else there seems likely to do better than 8-7, while Ura at least has a chance at 9, assuming last bash was a fluke.

>>256275
the problem is ura blows his knees out trying to be spiderlard

>>256269
He had single digit wins as an ozeki
Zak tier

How far will Takahara make it? He seems like too much of a manlet

>Fujiryoga in makuuchi
My ugly bastard :)

Wait Hakunofuji is 3 ranks below Takanosho despite them being at m3w and m3e with the same score. They hate his ass.

Atami making it to sanyaku brings tears to my eyes, hope he can get a KK.

>>256285
It was either that or overpromote Abi and Kotoshoho.

>>256287
the problem is thay they DID get overpromoted by being ahead of Hakunofuji.

>>256288
Nah, more like Onokatsu and Oshoma should have dropped. Oh well. Don't get hurt next time.

Are they factoring in previous under and over promotions/demotions in this time? I can't see why else they'd give Kinbozo -8 on a 4-11 except that he's a combined 18-27 over three basho but has only gone -5.

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well, he made it to sanyaku finally

>>256302
>Yes, I'm taking all these meatballs
>What are you gonna do about it, bitch?

>>256301
They are factoring the general mood around a given rikishi on /sp/ and /xs/. We kept calling him Kinbozo and the committee acted accordingly

>>256304
Then explain to me why Roga was demoted on 7-8. That's not what's meant to happen. Also WTK being put above Yoshi is fucking wild. Everything below the Sanyaku is a complete clownshow this banzuke.

>>256305
The new guy making the banzuke was told to put Kusano over WTK but he's such a newfag he didn't know what to do when he didn't find Kusano on the list

>Enho is injured again
Just find him a non-sumo job, he's never getting elder stock

>>256263
FUARKKKKK

>>256311
very traditional

>>256309
Man what the fuck

>>256309
Why does he even bother anymore?

>>256309
Holy shit did a Futagoyama rikishi really ruin Enho's entire career by winning that 6-0 match?

>>256263
Fujinokawa is going to be pronounced dead in the dohyo after either his Onosato or Hoshoryu match and the crowd are going to go fucking wild. Godspeed you mad cunt.

>watch new Chris video
>get to part hyping up Fujinokawa's career high
>clip is him getting picked up like a baby with legs flailing and put outside
damn this feels like a malicious choice, Chris didn't have any other clips?
kek I think we know who one of those rikishi who wasn't "nice" to him was

>>256329
Enho was already injured when he fought Nobehara.

>>256309
source? I haven't seen anything

>>256304
Dan was underpromoted, he should be at least one rank above HorseSHITryu

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>>256309
Letting manlets in the to JSA is terrible idea. Sumo is a big man's sport, manlets aren't psychologically capable of participating effectively in the sport's management. The whole deal with Keisho becoming skinny is already bad enough, but at least he used to be a big guy, Enho never was so he can never understand what it means to be huge and what big guys experience.

>Asahifuji going +111 on 7-0
How is this fair???

>>256338
He only had 1 difficult match the entire basho, the rest were him gently walking the newbies and old men.

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>>256336
I'm fine with the occasional manlet for that exact reason. It's nice to have a visual showcase of why sumo is a big man's sport, to avoid feeling complacent about the typical maegashitter's abilities.

>>256340
Yeah, Enho is OK in the tsukkomi role in the ring, someone has to lose every match, but you don't want a guy like that in management.

Dan was the only guy in upper sanyaku who earned a promotion on the newest banzuke.

>>256347
Why is he blushing? Is he drunk on OZEKI sake?

>>256349
Because he just made his Sanyaku debut.

>>256336
I give zero fucks about their size, it's about skill and winning.

>>256342
You are a complete retard. Fuck off and watch soccer or some other gay shit already.

>>256351
Being huge is a skill. The ability to consume and digest 10,000 calories during the day when you only burned 8,000 is a skill. Just look at Onosato, dude is a big winner and he has two moves. Enho is a manlet with an eating disorder and he is probably gay too. He doesn't have skills, if he had skills then he'd be good like Onosato. People who like manlets do so because they see themselves as oppressed losers, it effeminate behavior.

>>256353
If you're gonna bring up an outlier Yokozuna please talk about Chiyonofuji or Harumafuji.
>Enho is a manlet with an eating disorder
Hey man he just doesn't like rice.
>and he is probably gay too
Alright I got nothing on that he do be kinda zesty.
>He doesn't have skills
Fuck off, anyone even close to the joi at that size has mad skills. What next? You gonna talk shit about Fujinokawa?

>>256349
>Why is he blushing?
Japs think Europeans are always flushed.

Eastern Europeans are over-represented at the World's Strongest Man competitions. Consider that while wondering why a Ukrainian kid on steroids is able to shove fatsos around so easily.

>>256356
They inject them directly into his brown patch, where he stores it for use later in the ring

Anyone got the webm of the Atami stride as he entered for the last playoff?

>>256354
how do you grow up in Japan and not like rice?
sounds like a disgrace

>>256338
>How is this fair???
Because that's what usually happens.

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>>256361
He has an eating disorder, its a common psychological problem people get. it started when he was young trying to assert himself in power struggles over food with his parents by refusing to eat and later on he decided to reject rice because its the stable food of Japan, so he is trying to assert authority over Japanese society by rejecting rice. And the only thing he got out of his assertiveness is he ended up as a manlet and failure, he is a living embodiment of how not to lead your life.
Good decent people in Japan eat rice

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>"Japanese psychology is such that we root for smaller people." - 66th Yokozuna Wakanohana
I'm so sick of this rage baiting faggot who thinks height is self-determined. Height gives you a head start, but skill and perseverance make you a true champion.

>>256364
Dan be like
>Woah, he was under Akebono, I should model myself after this
Bro everyone was under Akebono lmaoooo

>>256364
Its easy to confuse people who enjoy being surprised on the rare occasions manlets like enho win with actual support for manlets.

The dohyo was silent except for the distant murmur of the crowd. Hōshōryū had just completed his ceremonial steps when a gleaming sword, a ceremonial prop, slipped from the bearer’s hands. Time seemed to stretch. The sword clattered across the clay dohyo—and in a surreal, horrifying instant, Kinbōzan Haruki stumbled backward, and the impossible happened.

Chaos erupted. Wrestlers scrambled, attendants shouted, but in this world, where the rules of reality bend for the macabre, Dr. Frankenstein—hidden among the audience in a long coat—sprang into action. With lightning crackling across the dohyo, he moved with surgical precision.

Machines whirred, wires snapped into place, and Kinbōzan’s head was reunited with his body. Sparks flew as electricity coursed through the veins, and for a tense heartbeat, nothing happened. Then, slowly, Kinbōzan stirred. His eyes flickered open, alive again, but there was a strange stiffness in his movements. The crowd gasped, unsure whether to cheer or flee.

“Back in the ring… but not quite the same,” Dr. Frankenstein muttered, a mix of triumph and unease in his voice. Kinbōzan stood, slightly jerky but upright, his sumo mawashi glinting under the arena lights. He raised a fist, not in ritual, but in eerie acknowledgment of a second life.

From that day forward, the dohyo would remember not only the strength of its wrestlers but the day science and horror danced on clay, and Kinbōzan Haruki became a legend… both alive and something otherworldly.

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>“Back in the ring… but not quite the same,”

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>>256359

>>256378
Was it autism?

>>256378
can you add some camera shake each time he steps

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>>256379
Probably. My turn to request Atami doing that breath holding thing like inflating himself big and round.
>>256380
No, can you?

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>>256124
4chan strips exif data from images, which is what your phone uses to set the orientation of the picture in your camera app. You need to re-rotate it on your pc before posting.

>>256369
kuso ai

>>256382
What does the floor feel like ?

Is it similar to concrete? Did he just ura nage him?

Do you think these guys live in a lot of daily pain i.e back pain, knee pain , ankle pain?

>>256389
Yes.

>>256388
it's like a clay tennis court
Is it similar to concrete?
no. there are levels to hardness and that would actually destroy everyone

>>256389
diabeetus pain

>>256391
So skateboarders are the toughest of all

>>256382
Asa could've probably beaten that twink in an MMA fight too.

>>256393
トーニー鷹。。。

跪く。。。

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time's up

>>256397
>Losing to Hoshoryu
Obviously fake.

>>256398
winning against onosato and losing to hoshoryu makes for a better storyline

>>256397
>Loses Kotozakura
Lmao

>>256403
He finishes 10-5, loses to yokozunas, fujinokawa, oho and kirishima who gets a 13-2 JY and ozeki promotion

>>256364
>I'm so sick of this rage baiting faggot who thinks height is self-determined
I don't know I think staying up all night to talk to other internet wierdos from the age of like 12 really stunted my growth

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King K Rool ass looking MF'r

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It's official: Dan is the most popular rikishi of all time according.

>>256378
strut

Fujinokawa's first joi basho, how does he do? He put up 10-5 from M7 last time around beating up on mediocrities like Roga, Gonoyama & Onokatsu. Everyone decent he faced beat him and he was never matched against joi or higher, so high double digit losses for him this time around seem like a good possibility.

Anti-Danners are facing down a decade and a half of seeing their arch nemesis cemented atop the banzuke as yokozuna. How do they cope?

>>256417
The anti-Dan posters. Are they in the room with us now?

>>256389
>these guys live in a lot of daily pain
Absolutely.

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Abema's new graphic for the Osaka tournament feature Dan and completely ignore both yokozunæ.

Imagine how little hinkaku you'd have to posses to be a yokozuna who gets overshadowed like that

>>256423
They should've put someone random on there with Dan like WMH.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opOVPJRBhyk

Ichi: I don't like plain rice, fish, or raw meat
Hosh: Are you sure you're even Japanese?

LOL

>>256422
Mirin those delts.

>>256423
Atamifuji is on pace to break Takayasu's futility record for most JYs with zero Ys

>>256434
Takayasu's record isn't in JYs so much as it is in playoffs. Most matches are a 50/50 so losing 9 without a single wild is ultra unlucky desu. This was only Atami's 2nd playoff loss, with his other being Takakeisho at 11-4 in September 2023.

>>256435
Oh wait, shit, I got confused. Takayasu has only lost 3 playoffs, it is his JYs that are at 9. Holy shit Atami is blowing away his pace so far.

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>>256436
I was about to call you a megaretard, but you pulled it back. lol

>>256436
Atami won't wrestle till he's 36, he might not even make it to 30 with his arthritis.

>>256389
Takayasu spends half an hour after waking up rolling around his bed to get his back set.

Tomokaze can't feel his left foot, which isn't pain but still.

It was generally shocking seeing Ura without knee braces at the London exhibition.

>>256439
I doubt Atamifuji has any health problems whatsoever at this point. A random translation of a random thing a fucking year ago means nothing. Did the guy going double 'boshi and barely losing a playoff to Dan look like he was struggling with his health? Just LOOK at this young man's swagger >>256378, he's the picture of sumo health.

>>256442
I get you are bored and baiting for fun but cmon man. At least find something more believable than claiming Atamifuji is a paragon of health.

>>256443
I said sumo health, not health. Call me when he kyujos because as far as I'm seeing Atami is fine and always was.

>>256444
>I doubt Atamifuji has any health problems whatsoever at this point
He hasn't had any significant physical injuries in the past year is the strongest claim I would make.
In general rikishi won't disclose health issues unless there is something already noticeable to the regular person or can be used as an explanation.
God I hope he never hits 300kg.

>>256442
retard

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Just for you I'm picking Atami for my fantasy stable. Fujinokawa is in there because I believe in manlet power. Yoshi and Haku really need new pictures that weren't taken in a public restroom.

>>256442
>barely losing a playoff to Dan
Dan dominated him both times they matched up, in their 2nd contest Dan authoritatively threw him into the clay

>>256452
You know he can't here you lie for him, right?

>Japan: OMG we finally got the first Japanese dai yokozuna of this century, this is so epic!!!
but then instead of just dominating easily as he already proved himself capable of Onosato decides to spend his time shoving sake bottles up his ass rather than keeping himself in shape and he stops winning yushoes and now he isn't even y1e and some foreigner is taking home all the cup again. japs thought they had finally regained control of sumo but it was a mirage, control and domination just passed from mongs to the slavs
kwabjapan

>>256454
nips just want a good anime storyline and dan's is superior

>>256456
fellow storyline chad

>>256456
THE SUPERIOR STORYLINE WAS ZAK

GOD FUCKING WHY

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PROMISE YOUR GRANDFATHER'S GRAVE YOU'D RETURN TO PERFORM YOUR DOHYO IRI

EVERY EVIL SPIRIT ON THE PLANET SWARMED YOU AT THAT MOMENT

IS DAN SIMPLY THE ULTIMATE MANIFESTATION OF ZAK'S HUMILIATION RITUAL???

>>256458
Zak allowed dan to win those to ensure that there's a skilled Ozeki in place when he gets promoted

>>256123
that looks like fun. good for you

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Why does this old man look perpetually confused and unsure of where he is?

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>>256363
rice is actually just plant excrement. you are all earing white plant poo

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>>256463
Because he is. RoboCop's a legend though, so show some respect.

>>256464
It's a seed, dummy. Egg, not poop.

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>>256466
did you know that good japanese noodles always contain a small amount of maple tree sawdust for texture ?

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Are you okay, Anon?

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anyone have the atamitantrumfuji webm?

>>256463
He has terrible eyesight and has to squint to see shit

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>>256470

>>256470
>>256473
he really is majin buu

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>>256470

>>256477
Looks like Atami went in with zero gameplan or awareness of anything.

Do you think some women genuinely like the way these guys look and want to fuck them? Or just because of the status?

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>>256481
Was that a serious question?

>>256481
dont make me post that asanoyama groupie

>>256478
Buttered, oiled and iced up his feet in preparation for that bout, that was an outrageous amount of sliding about.

Nabatame bros it’s getting close to showtime again. Last basho we had some minor setbacks at the end but we can just chalk that up to knocking the rust off and getting back in shape. Two weeks from now we will see Niggatame in prime time form and ready to zensho in sandanme.

>>256488
I will get my dick out for Nabatame

how do you even choose for the M5 to M10 box?
the guys on the top of that list are gonna get rolled by the people above, but the guys on the bottom are always dudes who are so middling they've hovered in mid Maegashira for ages
I'd pick Hakuoho but I've heard jack fucking shit about his injury since he dropped, seems like a bust.
I went with Ura since I literally have no other idea what to do in this category and I feel like he can probably do well at M8, all the other categories I think I did fine.

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>>256494
In this day and age you'd pretty much want to ask AI lots of questions to the point where it writes code to process sumo data, and subsequently produces a prediction model for it. You can then tweak it over time to have features you think are important.
Copilot tends to be pretty good for this. Once it's done you just run your app and don't have to think hard about it anymore.

>>256499
What level of autism is this? Seems like a terminal case.

>>256499
damn did I step on a landmine here?
Is this why so many picked the Yokozuna in January despite the very obvious context that they were both going to struggle?

https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202602260001524.html
ISEGAHAMA IS A CURSED BEYA

>>256504
Wait so Teru smacked Haku? Little shit probably earned it.

>>256504
>uppity Hakuho recruit acts out and is treated properly for his bullshit
The only reason Teru bothered reporting himself is because he knew the spineless tard would whine to the press about it first.

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>>256504

>>256504
Beer bottle, glue, golf club or?

>>256508
Disappointed glare. Atami is used to it but Haku ended up in tears.

>>256504
How will they punish him? Will they actually be lenient since Teru admitted it himself?

>>256512
He will be put under Ajigawa's guidance, Iseghama will lose the ichimon flagship role and become subservient to Ajigawa.

Maybe forcing a beya to handle 50 wrestlers was a bad idea idk

>>256514
Maybe Teru is human garbage and has zero hinkaku and should never have had as many as one under his tutelage. Let him go work on girl's sumo with Hakuho kwabamb

>>256473
>>256477
I feel so bad for the little guy, he looks heartbroken. Hope he wins his big trophy eventually.

>>256514
>50 wrestlers
That's like a platoon with attachments and isn't difficult to manage at all.

It's only ~30 now anyway.

>>256514
The truth is they never should've tried to rehab Hakuho's rabble in the first place. They're all trash, due to being handpicked by the yokozuna with the most trash hinkaku in sumo history. All of them should be kicked out, immediately. It's only a matter of time until all of them cause more problems for everyone else.

>>256521
Teru is shit, they should've cut his head off instead of just his hair.
Hakuoho dindu nuffin

>>256521
>>256522
You are both retarded

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New issue of Sumo Magazine is out. This is the 5th consecutive time Dan has been on the cover, thats how thoroughly he is dominating, his performance is so exceptional that it can't be ignored

>>256524
anti-danners are bound to be upset by this turn of events

>>256521
Is Atamin one of them because I like him

>>256527
no

>>256526
>anti-danners
That's like saying Bigfoot is sure to be disappointed by the recent developments in the Middle East.

>You won the bout today, how did you feel?
>I am happy.
>You lost the bout today, how did you feel?
>My body did not move the way I wanted it to.
>What are you thinking about tomorrow's bout?
>I'm just taking it one day at a time and performing my own style of sumo.
Was it autism?

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Which Pokémon had the best starters?

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Can't find a group pic for this one. :(

>>256534
How are there 5 dudes as Yokozuna? Were there like 0 Sanyaku or something?

>>256542
Azumafuji retired at the same time as Tochinishiki was promoted. There were only ever four dudes on the banzuke at the same time.

When did the current heya system start? Where these uncs in the black and white pictures making their juniors buttchug like onosato?

>>256544
Mid 18th century was when both the heya and kabu systems became formalized.

>>256521
Hakuho was a god of hinhaku compared to Asashoryu.

>>256547
This, but the opposite.

Dan is the luke skywalker of hinkaku while hakuho is vader

>>256547
Outside of sitting in the crowd throwing a tantrum with his arm up that one time, what did Hakuho do that wasn't hinkaku? Calling a monoii on Goeido ain't it because he was within his rights and was actually right.

>>256553
CONSTANT late shoves on opponents.
>Outside of sitting in the crowd throwing a tantrum with his arm up that one time
You say that like it wasn't the biggest chimpout ever. It was like spitting in those Oyakata's faces... Just standing there like the biggest faggot while the bow twirler was brought up in front of a packed crowd. Shameful.

>>256532
No, it was his style of commenting

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>>256504
funny, I'd have expected Atami to be slapped instead of Hak, well, I bet he deserved it.

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>>256552
>Now you will meet with Harumafuji and he will teach you the true nature of hinkaku...

>>256552
Asashoryu is Sidious?

>>256553
hakuho was a good guy at the start of his career. years of jsa bullshit made him who he is

Looks like Isegahama threw a sake bottle at Hakunofuji at a fucking party with supporters of all the places. It doesn't get more retarded than that.

>>256566
>Hakunofuji was stating his opinion about his shikona change to some supporter, and Terunofuji heard that while being drunk and threw sake bottle at him
Just my speculation

Please god let the JSA tell Teru his stable has to merge with Miyagino while he learns to be a better behaved oyakata please god it would be so fucking funny.

>>256569
nah, let them split, hakunofuji going back to hakuoho and toshinofuji to seihakuho would be funnier.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUqO82FHVOU

C H R I S

>>256570
Hakunofuji taking Hakuho as his shikona would be way funnier

Hakunofuji to Hakuho
Yoshinofuji to Harumafuji
Hoshoryu to Asashoryu

>Hakkaku's face reading his morning paper

>>256566
>>256567
Imagine being enough of a shithead that you draw your master's ire in front of influential sponsors. Dumbass can't read the room, just kick his ass out.

>>256574
There's no way that's a legitimate opinion because you're an actual piece of shit if you really think what you just said is acceptable.

>"It's your fault that I hit you in public!"

That would ACTUALLY get Teru the Hakuho pipeline. You wait until you're in private to deal with people acting like faggots, and even then hitting them is unacceptable. Officially, anyway.

>>256575
Don't lie to yourself that Teru is some sperg who acts violently for no reason. Hakunofuji obviously did something retarded that made him deserve it, which is doubly atrocious since he did it in front of sponsors. Absolute disgrace.

>>256566
Hakunofuji was probably being a racist, talking about how much he loves Sanseito and hates foreigners for eating all of Japan's rice. Got what he deserved

>>256577
If Teru really did do something at a fan club meeting in front of the (sort of) public then Teru's behaviour is actually beyond stupid. That's worse than what got Harumafuji retired. Absolutely nothing Haku could've done would warrant any sort of violent response in public. Don't get mad, get even. Next training session put on a mawashi and give Haku butsukari until he's fucking crying, then spit in his chanko and make sure it's visible.

>>256582
It's the exact opposite actually, since Hakuoho (he doesn't have the hinkaku to deserve a -nofuji name) was acting like a shithead, Teru needed to show to the sponsors that he's capable of properly disciplining the shitheads. The actual sponsors understand and wouldn't complain. It's only the whiny shitheads themselves as well as tabloid media who try to make it into a big scandal. The real scandal is that the JSA keeps allowing Hakuho's stench to continue infesting sumo instead of cleaning all of his trash out.

>>256577
>Don't lie to yourself that Teru is some sperg who acts violently for no reason
You're either a mong yourself or new. It's no surprise at all that he would chimp out like a retarded animal.

>>256583
>Teru needed to show to the sponsors that he's capable of properly disciplining the shitheads
So you agree with me that what he's (possibly likely maybe) done is worse than what got Harumafuji retired, okay. Hell the little shitheel that Haru smacked showed way more disrespect than anything Hakunofuji could've done.

>>256587
Harumafuji was still an active rikishi, not a stablemaster. Not only was he acting violent towards a fellow rikishi outside of a bout, but he was also overstepping his place by interfering in the affairs of another stable.

>>256588
He interfered with the jaw of a little shit showing disrespect to the greatest Yokozuna in history and nothing more. Takanohana should've dogeza'd at Hakuho's feet for his deshi's actions and thanked Harumafuji for disciplining him.

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Stop interacting with disingenuous posters

Is Terunofuji already going to get the boot? What a Mongolian retard and further evidence mongols should be kicked out and sent back to their shithole country.

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>>256573
>Hakkaku's face reading his morning paper

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>>256595
>nottodisushittyagainu

>>256592
the JSA is being extremely lenient or maybe dangerously naïve allowing mongs to continue competing. how many times does this cycle need to repeat itself before all mongs are banned from sumo? asashoryu, harumafuji, terunofuji, ichinojo, hokuseiho, hakuba, mokonami and many other all humiliated themselves and were removed, thats got to be well over 20% of all mongs who brought that fate upon themselves.
its time to finally just ban mongolia from sumo

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Dan will vanquish the Mongol menace from Japanese shores, Dan is the divine wind, Dan has never lost to a mong, except that one time to kiriSHITma

>>256600
had to double check, he lost to tamashoho and kinbozo (honorary mong)

>>256596
>Sir, a second violence scandal has hit the newspapers

>>256597
Has a European ever done anything verboten? Georgia isn't far away and Tochinoshin once dared to go clubbing (his oyakata did too). Did the Hawaiians ever cause a scandal?

>>256608
>Did the Hawaiians ever cause a scandal?
Konishiki whined to the press about not getting yokozuna (then lied and said his attendant did it), and Akebono had engagement problems that resulted in his supporters club dissolving. Nothing violence related though.

>>256609
>Akebono had engagement problems
Arranged marriages you weren't aware of will do that.

>>256608
Russians got softbanned because they were all smoking pot at their heyas. Roga only got in because they thought he was a Mongol

>>256611
>Russians got softbanned
But they let Shishi and Dan in???

Chris referencing the classic Costanza >2011 meme in his concluding statement, what an absolute CHAD he is for slipping that one in

>>256614
Lets get one fucking thing straight here faggot, Chris is a schizophrenic faggot. Yes he puts out consistent content about things we wouldn't normally know about, but that doesn't mean he isn't a schizophrenic faggot who routinely makes shit up.

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Its Enhover

https://www.sponichi.co.jp/sports/news/2026/02/27/articles/20260227s00005000172000c.html

>>256618
Nobehara will pay. Futagoyama MUST pay.

>>256618
It never Enbegan.

Will they give Enho a pity promotion on 4-3 the way Kisenosato was given rope?

>>256623
Bold of you to assume he'll even get 4 on a busted ankle.

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>>256602
lol

>>256608
Gagamaru and Kokkai got drunk and smashed up an Indian restaurant once.
Roho, and Hakurozan got the boot for smoking pot on vacation.
Wakanoho was a mess. He got caught with a joint, said he smoked with Tochinoshin, claimed to be involved in match fixing (named Kotooshu among others)
Naruto (Kotooshu) has had a few violence problems with rikishi at his stable.

Terunofuji broke Enho's ankle in fit of drunken mong rage as revenge for not adopting Teru's favored suffix

>Teru: MY PREFERRED SUFFIXES ARE FUJI AND NOFUJI, BIGOT!!!

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anyone know his beverage of choice?

>>256637
Dan

>>256632
>IF YOU AREN'T ENHONOFUJI THEN YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME
>*slings a glass bottle across the room hitting Hakunofuji*