Thread #38955
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ITT: We take a non-extreme sport and change it to make it extreme.
Marathon but you can sabotage your opponents any way you want. Weapons allowed. Basically the Road Rash game but on foot.
Dodgeball with bocce.
Polo but with rodeo horses.
Water polo but the water is slightly acidic so your skin and eyes start to burn after a while and you can only get out (rotating with other team members) once you score.
Any motor sport but without brakes.
Soccer with bowling balls.
Squash but the room is so narrow and you can get hit by the other player's racket.
Basketball but the court is oiled.
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Baseball but instead of the bat it's a venomous snake that you have to whip to hit the ball.
Chess but the pieces are white-hot metal
Long jump but you land in quicksand
Diving but instead of water it's quicksand.
Equestrian dressage/eventing/jumping but instead of the horse it's a dude carrying on his back.
Rifle shooting but with dodgeball rules.
Hurdling but the obstacles have blades.
Marathon but it's on active train tracks and you run in the same direction as the train that uses them.
Volleyball but you can only play if you're diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome.
Rollerskating with Ben Hur spikes
Table tennis but instead of playing against an opponent it's a wall and you win by lasting longer than your opponent.
Wrestling but in Saudi Arabia.
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Marathon and Moto GP simultaneously on the same circuit.
Fencing with high-power cattleprods
100m but it's two runners sprinting in opposite directions and slapping each other in the face like they're jousting.
Orienteering but it's the Sahara desert.
Curling but it's thin ice on a river.
Long jump but the run up is on an unfrozen ski-jumping slope.
Soccer but if you dive or fake any kind of injury you get shot.
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Arm wrestling but with the other hand you hit your opponent with various non-cutting objects like bats, batons, bricks, whips, battery acid (diluted for safety), etc.
Each player has an assistant that can switch weapons based on what's needed, and a strategist to recommend the best moves and choices of weaponry.
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Skeleton sledding but with pregnant women.
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WebM Related.
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ice speedway but they're towing a guy on ice skates who's allowed to interfere with competitors and also there's jumps
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>>38955
>Marathon but you can sabotage your opponents any way you want. Weapons allowed. Basically the Road Rash game but on foot.
That sounds like dueling. Someone would shoot everyone else and then just walk across the finish line.
>Polo but with rodeo horses.
Fuck using animals for sports.
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>>38955
Big wave surfing but all participants are black.
Track running but everyone has Battle Royale style necklaces and the last one gets picked off every few hundred metres.
Football/Soccer with no rules on fouling.
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Pretty much this:
>>44794
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>>38955
bullfighting but with no fences
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Shirling
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6gu3mbl8SAk
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>>45002
It would have to be cross country, A to B racing, with no set course. That way competitors can make a break for it and navigate separate routes or be more aggressive. My running mates and I have discussed this at length and come to the conclusion the perfect weapon would be a machete because it's also useful for bush whacking.
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eSports
But when you die ingame you die IRL and some other pro eSports player takes your place.
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>>38969
> Volleyball but you can only play if you're diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome.
I laughed so hard I spilt my brekfus all over. Hand over $6 for some tendies as repayment
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>>38955
Battleship but both players are connected to an electric shock system. The voltage is turned up for attacks on larger ships, and sinking a ship causes 2-5 straight seconds of shock, with larger increased with bigger ships. When all the ships are sunk, the loser is shocked for 7-10 seconds straight
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>>38955
Two-way bowling
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>>38955
Nah senpai just armored 900 HP muscle cars with deadly weapons and I'm happy
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>>38955
Years ago my best friend got his firearm license during the same time I got into motorcycles. got the idea of rally target shooting, I would try and make it around a loop in the woods next to his land as fast as I could while he would shoot rounds onto cheap targets we would staple to the trees. good fun but he is heavy retarded and a bad shot
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>>38955
Buzkashi but the goat is a weighted apparatus that at random points pokes out syringes that inject ketamine at random amounts at random intervals.
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>>38955
>Any motor sport without brakes
Japanese flatlanding. Weirdest thing, bikes going around a circle, and they found it safer with no brakes cause noone can immediately decelerate and fuck everyone up cause they're so close together
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>>53064
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Spanish Anon was onto something there
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>>38955
i'll do you better.
it is a marathon, but it's on rollerblades on a river trailer across county lines after you airsoft shot a street sweeper rent a cop putting a ticket on a single mother's car so they'd turn around to you body checking them in lacrosse pads.
i call it jet set radio
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>>44406
Say what you will about these guys, but what they're doing for the sport is a good thing. They're getting tons of new people interested in skateboarding, after the 90's craze had worn off, skateboarding really lost its steam and kind of just became a mode of transportation for people, and no one really skated just for the joy of it. Then these dorks come along with their youtube channels, and now all the skateparks are packed with kids going out side and playing.
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>>48932
>A bicycle race through an african nation in a civil war
They used to have that, but it was with motorcycles.
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>>44838
>love speedway
>didnt know ice speedway was a thing
>watch video of it
holy shit how do they corner like that on fucking ice???
makes motogp riders look like pussies
i was expecting doriftos like dirt speedway but no these mfs are fucking tight
incredible
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>>38955
this is an unironic one
>crosscountry mountainbiking but there are trials sections in the track as well as some more enduro type stuff
basically reinventing 90s mountain biking
>riders and bikes must be equally good at pedaling and climbing and descending efficiently on both smooth and rough cround but also manueverable enough for the big trials type obsticals
i only want this because it bugs me how modern mtbs arent made for trials and trials bikes are more like bmxs when they should be mountain bikes
nothing exists in the middle unless i custom build some abomination myself or buy a 90s mtb
i also think itd be fun to watch
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>>38955
trackmania irl unironically
>open wheel buggy type racecars with good suspension
>downforce can also be upforce and allow mid air steering and stability with control by the driver
>tracks involve wall rides jumps and loops
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i'll go one better and take something that isn't a sport and make it an extreme sport. extreme sculpture. two contestants set out with hammers and chisels to carve the same thing out of the same block of stone. opponents cannot erase or break off your work but they can hit your chisel, hammer or hands while trying to sneak in front
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>>108695
both, youtubers and these guys specifically, because they were always trying dumb stuff that got the initial clicks, but then people kept watching because their positive vibes and attitude towards new skaters is really refreshing, especially since the "main stream" skaters always seemed to try to be all edgy and moody, and would actively push new skaters away because they think they're cool shit.
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Decathlon but every sport is altered to somehow be on a high-altitude tightrope with no harness.
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Full contact soccer and all the players are drunk.
Motorcycle chariot racing but riders are armed with spears and encouraged to damage other vehicles and riders.
Jousting but on motorcycles.
Also bring back dueling with actual sharp swords and no full face protection.
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>>136832
No leglets allowed
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>>136901
Honestly I'd love to see doped up weightlifters doing non-weightlifting events too. Not just strength focused but seeing a guy looking like this doing stuff like 400m hurdles or pole vaulting has got to be fun to watch
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Laser tag but with stun guns and tasers. Takes place in a maze. First one to get out of the maze or incapacitate all the other players wins. A pitbull or chimp with Lyme disease is added to the maze at random intervals.
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Juggling boxing - you drop your balls three times, you're TKO'd, and the ref starts counting whenever they don't see a continual stream of juggling.
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>>152922
Jujimufu was originally into "tricking" which is just doing flips and shit (not parkour). He was able to still do that stuff while fit but he stopped as he got older and into powerlifting and bodybuilding; he's said himself that he's lost a good amount of the explosivity required for those movements just due to age and that generally, you can keep getting raw strength gains as you get older.
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>>116478
The Paris-Dakar was gigakino the likes of which we may never see again
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>>38955
Battle royale sumo, but the platform is suspended in the air and anyone who is pushed out of the ring falls to their doom
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>>38961
That's actually a good idea. Make the actual finish directly at the bottom of the drop so you have to do a parkour turn vault and drop straight down instead of just diving off the end and doing a forward rolling breakfall, would be cool as part of an obstacle course or parkour type event.
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>>38975
>100m but it's two runners sprinting in opposite directions and slapping each other in the face like they're jousting.
Send this to the slap boxing people.
>Orienteering but it's the Sahara desert.
That's somewhere between /xs/ and >>>/out/ territory.
>Soccer but if you dive or fake any kind of injury you get shot.
This might make soccer watchable.
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>>38955
I just wanna see regular ass sports but with dudes juiced to the gills. I'm not a dunce I know its prevelent in all sports, but the ones with drug testing the dudes have to at least pass tests so they cant go all out, but thats what I wanna see. Can we attach masks to their faces that act as turbochargers for breathing? Limb stretching surgery or genetic modification?
American football, hockey, basketball, any olympic sport really. Lets see the freak show.
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>>160106
Bodybuilding but all the competitors are regularly injected with a standard dose consisting of enormous amounts of tren, hgh, etc. and you win by surviving the longest.
You also get randomly tested for body fat, and you get disqualified if it's in the double digits.
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>>107605
Skateboarding going mainstream was the worst thing to happen to the sport
For a hot minute there were 'skateboard training camps' where suburban mothers would send their kids over the summer, like it was fucking boy scouts
Skateboarding is at its best when it's underground
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Basketball + wrestling
https://youtube.com/shorts/BozCOIu0ZRM
https://youtube.com/shorts/TyUv_jB-e_Q
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>>107605
>90's craze
uhhh, no.
The crazes were:
60's surfers on tiny boards
70's pool riders
80's vert/mini ramp and some early street
Skateboarding flat out died by like 91 and only sort of gained steam after the Extreme Games came out
Then when Tony Hawk's Pro Skater came out and Tony landed the 900 it re-launched skateboarding into popularity from about 99-06 or so, then it tapered off and has just ebbed and flowed since.
>getting tons of new people interested in skateboarding
Except they aren't really. Youtubers and especially Braille are too gimmick-driven. THPS got people interested in skateboarding because you skated around in the game and you felt that desire to try it in real life. Braille just bolts trucks to a book or an iPad or some shit and breaks it in 3 seconds, it's barely even skate content and has more overlap with the "America's Funniest Home Videos" demographic. They're also quickly failing and had to shut down their park IIRC.
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>>38969
>Equestrian dressage/eventing/jumping but instead of the horse it's a dude carrying on his back
H-hot.
>>38975
>Fencing with high-power cattleprods
kek, also it'd be great, a modern solution to dueling with no blood but all the satisfaction as you whip your adversary in the cock with the prod and watch him drop.
>>38975
>Soccer but if you dive or fake any kind of injury you get shot.
Someone make this anon the global minister of sports lmao.
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Historically accurate Pankration.
>Allowed to get out of chokeholds by bending/breaking your opponent's fingers or toes
>Allowed to strike the back of the head (or anywhere really)
>Allowed to strangle the throat with your hands
>In an odd turn of events, a pankration fighter named Arrhichion (Ἀρριχίων) of Phigalia won the pankration competition at the Olympic Games despite being dead. His opponent had locked him in a chokehold and Arrhichion, desperate to loosen it, broke his opponent's toe (some records say his ankle). The opponent nearly passed out from pain and submitted. As the referee raised Arrhichion's hand, it was discovered that he had died from the chokehold. His body was crowned with the olive wreath and returned to Phigaleia as a hero.[10]
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Parkour where you're chased by an MMA guy and you're not allowed to see the course ahead of time. Parkour guy wins if he reaches the finish line, MMA guy wins on KO, TKO or submission.
I call it Xtreme Bullying
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Downhill skateboarding jousting (the riders start from facing slopes and meet at the bottom)
German wheel velodrome racing
Downhill rollerblade crossfit tandem deadlift (pic related)
Strongman convict quartering (4 big guys pull a death row inmate's limbs apart)
Skydiving wrestling
Dragster jousting
Lava wakeboarding
Rollerblade racing but racers hold an open umbrella and airplane engines blow from the back
Pump hydrofoil relay race
Pump hydrofoil jousting
100 metres freestyle swimming race downwards
Downhill beekeeping... k I'm out of ideas
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>>200449
>Lava wakeboarding
What about lava kitesurfing?
I don't know if the laws of physics allow this but you could perhaps use the heat coming from the lava to propel a wing/kite upwards like a hot air balloon, so you can move from one side of the volcano to the other.
You can have a highest number of ground/lava touches, lowest average altitude, most mass amputated, etc.
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>>200519
Damn that's a good idea, but you'd need the lava flow to be close to the sea
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>>127061
>holy shit how do they corner like that on fucking ice???
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>>127061
>an oval
bro
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>>48437
with reindeer pulling
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>>223675
Yes, I'm an idea thief, I couldn't have tried to think of random stuff and come up with one that's already been done. And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you Thrashin' enthusiasts!
>>38955
>Soccer with bowling balls
that would actually be rather slow since you couldn't just hit the balls hard, that wouldn't make them move fast, you'd have to accelerate them more progressively so it would be softer/slower.
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Robot Wars, but with no weight or robot number limit per team, the control holders stay inside the battle area, the thing has a meter long signal range or less, and if your machine loses you get a crowbar and are foced to fight the enemy robot or pay a 200k dollar fine
You can also pay for a gacha like bonus during the whole thing, like an early crowbar, more ammo, new armor/guns, etc.
Audience betting heavily encouraged.
Or bring back legal "Pokemon", but tag team.
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Walking + ground Gymnastics through the hood. Males only. Amateur and underground not to ruin the point.
You wear a pointy ghost costume and have to do a trick, land and salute once per 5 blocks. Winner makes it to the other side.
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>>136913
iirc a lot of bodybuilder physiques are completely incompatible with standard athletics, once you have a certain ratio of muscle vs bone it becomes dangerous if not downright impossible to perform the kind of motions you need to in classic athletic events like hurdles, sprints, etc. This is for your extreme bodies though like the ones you posted not just someone who's buff.
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