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>>34417359
It's almost 3 am
it's gonna be a long night again

>>34417590
aaand it took me 5h10m

>>34417590
>>34418323
goodnight...
i shold sleep as well
>>34417359
>But my OCD makes me wipe my ass for 90 minutes and have 6 hour hygiene routines (including 60 minutes of showering).
>Every second day I stay up until 6 or 7 in the morning cause I am procrastinating the routine until late at night and I can't have a normal life anymore.
there are probably techniques which therapists would teach, which you could learn about online

10+ years ago i would tell you to look for some sort of OCD groups online to learn tips, but it's probably gonna be a bunch of unhelpful bullshit if you search for that today..

>>34418342
>>34418342
I have an elder brother with OCD. Can you please recommend some online content. I’ve tried looking online but to no avail. I’ve talked to my parents to avail a therapist but they’re stereotypical boomers, my father claims it’s just a phase, yet it drives them up the wall when he acts the way he does.

>his OCD makes him engage in physical rituals
You lucky fuck

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>>34418466
I had pure OCD thoughts in the past, but they have significantly reduced, especially over the last few years, and then even more over the last six months or so, once I started taking NAC+B12. It also had to do with working out and perhaps age.

It's still there every now and then but it is nowhere near as bad as it used to be.

>>34418342
>10+ years ago i would tell you to look for some sort of OCD groups online to learn tips

There are online groups but they always do this youtube tutorial shit where they share the most basic information to get clicks, but actual techniques or real programs on how to apply certain treatments are practically completely absent.
Everybody always talks about ERP and CBT, but there is no real step-by-step guide or anything. At least not to my knowledge.

There may also be a problem with many of these online therapists being women (naturally, since most OCD affected are women), cause its all nice talk and whatnot but I haven't seen a single one of them recommend the most fundamental treatment, which is working out.


Oh yeah I got up at 2:35 pm, which of course bars me from any normal world interaction.
It's been much worse during winter, when sometimes I would procrastinate until 3am, then have my routine until 10am and then sleep until 5pm, and it would be dark already.

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>>34419174
My pure OCD keeps getting worse as I get older no matter how much B12+NAC I take lol!!!!1!!!!1

>>34417359
convince yourself that you can do it both more efficiently and quickly in a shorter more reasonable amount of time. Shut off your brain and do it all in an hour on autopilot. If afterwards you feel like your brain is winding up again just zone out and ignore it and think about something else. Do this repeatedly over weeks and weeks and the brain wiring will dissipate slowly

>>34420216
>convince yourself that you can do it both more efficiently and quickly in a shorter more reasonable amount of time. Shut off your brain and do it all in an hour on autopilot.
i dont need convincing
i know i could do it in the past
the problem is that once i am pushing towards it, its like i am physically blocked. its hard to explain but its like in a video game, where you walk outside the map and the game turns you around saying "you cant go there".

>>34420371
Yes that is the hardest part. If you want the nuclear option you can always go to a psych ward but I assume you don't want that just yet.
Your best shot is going to be resisting your brain in small steps. You are limited by your brain so much so that it feels physical and unstoppable. Trying to go against this will feel nauseating, but necessary. You're probably going to be doing some part of this today, so you have the opportunity, the mandate, to try resisting at least some form of what you did yesterday for today. This will feel impossible, like trying to tell a fish to walk. But you know you've done it before, and you can do it again, you just need to build a framework for dismantling this one night at a time

>>34420399
luckily shitting day is tomorrow.
Today I go to bed normally

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>>34420440
it's almost that time again

>>34422378
aaaaand here we go again.
I'm also supposed to show up somewhere tomorrow. Nice self-sabotage.

what is the fear that is driving you to do these things? you have to address that with exposure therapy. do the opposite of what your brain is telling you and become habituated to the anxiety you feel.

>>34417359
You just gotta not feed it as much as you can with babysteps like wise-anon said.

>>34417359
Read the book Brain lock. I'm doing ERP at home. All about uncertainty for me, taking each day slowly with gradual progress. The fact that you're aware of your OCD is a great step.

>>34423095
4:26

>>34417359
You are just like me

>>34423400
>Read the book Brain lock

i actually have that (audio)book.
One of many. Is it worth it?

>>34424161
you also try pushing out shits for an hour until your anus bleeds?

>>34417359
I have had a phrase stuck in my head 24/7 for the last 3 months. It just started when im 30 years old.
This has to be some kind of psychological jungian neurosis..
Im so bummed because now my old life seems so comfy in comparison.

>>34429103
what phrase is it?

>>34423382
>what is the fear that is driving you to do these things?

contamination
possibly fear of social refusal
which is funny considering that i barely talk to anyone outside of my family anymore


anyway... it's that time again.
>>34423793 was my last time

>>34423793
5:44 today
no outside responsibility likely the reason

you have to face your fears of contamination man. Stop posting in this thread how long it's taking you and reinforcing your behavior and start taking small steps in facing your discomfort surrounding contamination. Next time you feel like doing something out of fear of contamination intentionally choose not to do it and examine how you feel and sit with that discomfort for as long as you can

>>34426121
That part no, the rest yes

>>34417359
I went to therapy, OCD specialists in fact, and it was utterly useless. All it did was exacerbate it, some of the comments they made were downright unprofessional. You don't need some psued with a degree to tell you what to do. ERP is a fairly straightforward process. No matter how hellish it feels, living with OCD isn't much better. My OCD went from severe and debilitating to a mild annoyance.
For me, I ranked my triggers from mild to severe, then started at the absolute bottom. I couldn't even read about my theme without feeling instant dread and wasting hours on compulsions. So I would simply think about it, allow it to come to mind, and sit with the anxiety until it subsided. I got to a point where I could simply see the word without panicking, and then eventually I could even watch something triggering. It got a little easier the more I graduated through it. I had all sorts of extreme scenarios in my head as "ultimate" exposures, but by the time I got to that point, I no longer felt the need to bother. I failed multiple times, relapsed and backslid, but now I can control my OCD, not the other way around.
It does seem like a horrifying process, you're literally MKUltra psyopping the most primal parts of your brain that make your irrational fears feel like genuine life-or-death. That's why it's so important to dip your toes in the water instead of diving in headfirst. A lot of it is just basic psychological mechanisms, like conditioning and sensitization. Metacognition is a useful tool to step outside of it all.
At this point it's almost bizzare to think back to it all. It's as if I'm remembering when I was a heroin addict or something. Constantly chasing that next hit, always on the verge of panic, practically non-functional. It's like remembering a different person.

>>34433366
>so I would simply think about it
that makes sense and all, but what is the weakened form of taking a shit? You cant really dip your toes into that. Figuratively.

>Metacognition
isn't that "mindfulness"?

>as if I'm remembering when I was a heroin addict or something
I have had a similar though. Beyond the lack of sensation there isn't much difference to an addiction problem. It's all the bad parts without the good part.

>>34418466
not lucky at all anon
you don't know how annoying it is to spend 15m washing your hands over and over again because you messed up an inconsequential detail

>>34417359

For some people, including myself, certain food components can act as fuel for our anxiety and OCD tendencies. The most common ones are casein (dairy's protein), gluten, and caffeine.

My suggestion would be to eliminate any of these one at a time, for a period of 10 days each, to see if you experience any relief.

Avoiding gluten is usually easy since gluten-free products are identified as such in the packaging. Casein is trickier because it's found in multiple products besides dairy, so you’ll need to check the ingredient list to be sure.

>>34434689
>caffeine
that's the worst culprit and the hardest to rid off. Because everywhere you go, there's coffee readily available like cigars in the 50's.
Caffeine does significantly worsen anxiety, any stimulants, really.
And anxiety triggers OCD, which in turn worsens anxiety and generates more anxiety, creating a feedback loop

>>34430233
yesterday it was 5:22
i procrastinated till 3:30 in the morning and I eventually got up at 3:15 in the afternoon

whenever i try to do ERP it's not really possible unless i cut the whole procedure short by a certain action. I cant do the action less, because then I subconsciously split the action up into little parts and say "this little part I can live without, but not this" and eventually I end up doing the whole thing anyway.

another thing i noticed is that whenever I cut out big parts of the procedure, I unknowingly tend to lengthen all other parts and after a couple days I end up with the same time spent.