How old is your boyfriend and what other medications are he on? If he is on antidepressants he needs to stop them immediately. They aren't even helping and they just make him perform worse. If he isn't on those then he needs to quit porn. It's not a joke or an option. He has a real life woman in front of him and his porn addiction is making it so he can't satisfy you. If you approach it like this and say that you are worried about him and just want him to be able to come inside you, he will stop. If he doesn't stop, it means that he doesn't really love you. He loves porn more. Speak your mind. You let his penis inside your vagina so let him hear inside your mind.

>>34430760
Are you tight?

Its from jerking off, I know because the dame happened to me. If he doesnt do it for a week or 2 he should be much better. If that doesnt work get him a chastity cage.

>>34430760
L-Lisa, that you!?

>shall be it

>>34430760
he has fetishes he wont try on you thats why he does it. Maybe he loves you or holds you to a hgher standard. I knew a guy who treated his girl like an angel and woundn't try anything that he would try hypothetically on a prostitute. Looks to me like the same case.
If you want him to get better, just straight up ask him about his fetishes and consider being open to them.

>>34430760
>I am not ready to get on birth control
Why not?

>>34430760
Difficulty in maintaining an erection during sex is a fairly common problem with numerous potential causes.
Let's try and narrow down the culprit before you resort to rawdogging it.

First off, when does he lose his erection? Was it while he stopped to put his condom on? Did he have one in the first place?

>>34430760
a couple of possibilities. Firstly, the physical problems

condoms reduce stimulation. This is rarely the sole issue, but it will exacerbate other problems.

most people only have sex in the evening, often within a couple of hours after dinner. If dinner is big, then blood supply prioritises digestion and makes it harder to maintain erections. Sex in the morning is always the easiest, morning boners for example. If your bf doesn't get morning boners, there is a big problem with circulation.

for good circulation, he shouldn't be fat, and he should have acceptable cardio health.

check stress levels. High cortisol, low testosterone are big problems.

ED is more likely psychological, especially if he can masturbate. A big one is porn, even moderate use is damaging, and bad erection quality takes several months of avoiding it to fix, or longer depending on how stimulating the stuff is that he watches. Absolutely start with this, it's the most important thing.

another issue is performance anxiety, condoms can be a subconcious signal that makes him nervous without realising. Especially since there's a downtime barrier while he's putting it on. You could help him get more used to condoms by doing things other than penetrative sex while using them. Try a few sessions where the two of you just practice putting the condom on, and doing stuff like blowjobs and handjobs. Try to associate condoms with sexual stimulation without performance.

Lastly, consider cialis instead of viagra. Side effects are significantly more mild, and there's a longer half life which makes it easier to use. Also a supplement you can use is l-citrulline, it's a main ingredient in most preworkouts for its vasodilation

Sorry for not answering, like you how you have to actually be hard to penetrate in the first place that is the hurdle even if he gets semi hard before while he has a condom on. He isn't on any medication. Claims masturbating isn't an issue so idk. He claims it isn't a wanting me sexually issue since he gets hard when we spend time together. Idk if I am tight lol.
Like we could kinda have sex without Viagra once when I was ontop and he was kinda hard (I don't remember if he got fully hard during sex) but when I asked to switch positions cause the man's knees kinda block me from being comfortable when ontop, he couldn't get hard enough to penetrate and gave up without ejaculating

>>34430760
Stop fornicating.

Seconding the two most likely options:
1. he probably jerks off too much. A man that has this problem should quit masturbating and watching porn entirely, at least until the issue is resolved. Going a month with zero stimulation makes me immensely more sensitive and I get way harder. Spend a month where sex is just him getting you off with oral and fingering and by the end he'll probably barely be able to resist penetrating you.
2. he might have fetishes that he isn't sharing with you out of embarrassment. This isn't intrinsically an excuse; even if he has fetishes he should learn to make himself sensitive enough to enjoy vanilla sex with you, for your sake. But once this issue is resolved through step 1 if you want to really short out his brain you could try to find out if this is the case. First ask him if he has any, telling him he doesn't have to say what they are. That makes him more likely to admit to it. Then when he's comfortable maybe you can pry and see what he wants you to do for him. Be prepared for the possibility that it's something strange and unusual like wearing clothes in the shower, blowing up balloons, pretending to be a giant and stepping on him, vacuuming the floor, etc. and hopefully you can learn to understand the psychology and history of his relationship with the fetish and indulge him in it to whatever extent you're comfortable. He could also just have regular porn kinks that you can explore although those shouldn't be nearly as difficult for him to reduce his dependence on compared to the examples I listed earlier, which are fetishes that stem from prepubescent psychological experiences and traumas

>>34434000
Oh and this is usually advice I give to guys learning to get off their girl but it works for guys too: if your partner can orgasm though masturbation, there is *always* some point at which they can edge themselves and then let you take over, even if it means literally holding your hand and applying the force themselves, or doing part of it themselves (e.g. guy fingers her as she rubs her own clit, or guy jerking himself off with his hand over hers). Once you can do that, it's just a matter of gradually handing over control earlier and earlier until you're able to just get each other off all on your own. Same goes for orgasm from penetration, with an undersensitive guy (and I assume the same goes for women) as you get closer to orgasm there's a point where everything suddenly gets more sensitive and you get way harder, at which point almost any stimulation will bring you to orgasm. The more desensitized you are, the closer this point is to orgasm itself (requiring death grip masturbation to get into the zone) but if you take a month off touching your dick you get to that point almost immediately and have to fight to not cum from even mild stimulation. For me (currently single, serial masturbator), a week of abstinence takes me from not even getting fully hard until just before orgasm, to getting very hard from even mild simulation, and a month takes me to crazy places like getting off to the thought of kissing a girl or not being able to put on a condom without a risk of accidentally cumming

>>34434000
>>34434431
not op but what causes PE? it is physiology or psychological thing?

>>34434540
It depends, I've heard it can come from training yourself to cum quickly by masturbating to completion really fast so that you learn to cum before getting fully hard but honestly I've only ever had the opposite problem from jerking off to much. Unless there's some identifiable malfunction of your dick I would just call it "pussy too hot syndrome" and you just need to practice edging or just let her get you off and then go for round 2 (where you'll last longer) after your refractory period is up

Its not erectile dysfunction. Its unnatural to fuck a plastic bag and frankly the guys that can enjoy it and cum are the ones with the problem. I bet they are premature ejaculators without the condom. Your boyfriend is anormal guy, get some birth control or trust him to pull out plus keep plan b on hand.

>>34435049
Wrong, condoms work fine for most people and hormonal birth control ruins women's brains. They're doing the right thing

>>34430841
>>34430812
it could be a few things and I'll speak from experience. I could get hard during foreplay with her but Id go soft right before intercourse. Even after not jacking off for 10 days and spending all weekend with her, Id always go soft around the same point of intimacy. My nerves and anxiety always skyrocket then. I found that CBD helped calm me down and made it better but still couldnt cum. I took cialis a few times, and while it got me harder longer I could not cum from it so sex would just be going long enough to get her to orgasm and then it would be over.

I also had a kink that i got off with from porn but didnt want to try it with my gf. Even when she asked me directly to do the kinks with her i got axious and scared and couldnt get myself to go through with it. I couldnt even masturbate if she was in the room. My brain had been conditioned to see sex as a private shameful thing that should only be done on your own with nobody around and thus even with a woman who wanted to do things with me, I could not get my body to relax.

im also on a ton of medications for autoimmune disorders since I was 12 (im 31 now) which may have also fucked me up in other ways

>>34435366
Did you ever figure out how to make it work?

>>34430760
Honestly I'm sorry that we have evolved a society that considers porn and masturbation normal. That shit is an abomination, and as men we need to root that evil out of society so that women can believe in us again.

But yeah, the ED is almost undoubtedly the result of porn/masturbation.

>>34435387
Unfortunately no. The lack of proper sex made her upset with me and it led to fights among other issues and i ended up breaking up with her. For me I think if I were to try sex a few more times with CBD (we only tried it once) that could help me relax enough to be vunerable enough to cum during sex, but right now Im way too anxious and scared to let anyone see me do that (goes back to the guilt thing)
In fact I cant even cum on-camera with someone if shes watching me, the best I can do is record a video and then send it after the fact.

>>34435457
You just have to identify the right size of step to take to progress. If you can't even jerk off in front of her, then do it in the dark together while you make out so you can't see each other. Once you can get yourself off that way, let her hold the base of it right before you push yourself over the edge. Then let her take over just before the end. Then let her do it from start to finish. Then do it with the lights on. Then try some penetration, combined with you jerking yourself close to the edge before putting it in. etc. If you are able to get yourself off in private then there *is* some progression that exists that will get you able to do it with her. Also it goes without saying that you should get really good at fingering and eating pussy to get her off so that she isn't frustrated by your inability to have PIV. Learn to get turned on by her pleasure. With my ex one of my favorite sex acts was just to jerk myself off while eating her pussy.

>>34435476
Thanks anon. That is what would've been ideal. In the case with her we just kept fighting and she would become enraged if we didnt have sex and that didnt help my anxiety.

The other side of this is that I'm a little embarassed to have to tell that to someone when I first start dating them, so I act like everything is okay because telling a girl "hey i need help cumming because im shy" wont go over well.
To your point though, I am very good at pleasuring women. Since I cant get myself off I've learned how to get them off so at least they're satified, even if its not PIV. Her pleasure DOES give me pleasure too. Getting the physical feedback of my actions (moaning, wriggling, legs tightning etc) makes me want to keep going and its a good feeling.

>>34435476
Thanks anon. That is what would've been ideal. In the case with her we just kept fighting and she would become enraged if we didnt have sex and that didnt help my anxiety.

The other side of this is that I'm a little embarassed to have to tell that to someone when I first start dating them, so I act like everything is okay because telling a girl "hey i need help cumming because im shy" wont go over well.
To your point though, I am very good at pleasuring women. Since I cant get myself off I've learned how to get them off so at least they're satified, even if its not PIV. Her pleasure DOES give me pleasure too. Getting the physical feedback of my actions (moaning, wriggling, legs tightning etc) makes me want to keep going and its a good feeling.

test

>>34435544
If she likes you and you can get her off she'll be fine with it. The only way I could imagine her not is if she's some narcissist who expects you to just be like a porn experience for her and doesn't care about you as a person.

https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1776325806522594.mp4" target="_blank">https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1776325806522594.mp4

>If you want him to cum quick clench on the up stroke
>If you want him to last longer clench on the down stroke
Or something to that effect

>>34436409
Unfortunately the one I dated recently was very narcissistic and kept saying I didnt love her enough because I wasnt getting better at sex

>>34430760
Porn induced erectile dysfunction. He fried his brain with porn basically.

Seriously you guys are all fucking retarded. Fucking with a condom on is completely not natural and most guys over the age of like 25 are going to have a hard time cumming when using a condom and likely to go soft.

Its not normal to use a condom in a long term relationship its actually pretty fucking insane

>>34437364
I agree, I hate condoms. But birth control destroys women's hormones. It can be really bad for them. My gf rn is on birth control, so thankfully no condoms for us. But it comes with its own major downsides. It lowered her estrogen a lot, so she has a hard time getting wet. And the one in her arm before, made her literally insane. The copper IUD seems like the best bet.

>>34437364
Stop jerking off. Go to the gym. Any healthy man young enough to not be ready to blow loads in his wife to make babies should be able to get off with a condom on. You're going to end up with tranny kids if your wife is on hormonal birth control.

>>34437477
my last relationship lasted for 4 years and I never used condoms and she never used birth control and I just pulled out. Its really not that hard. As long as you are on top I really don't see the difficulty of pulling out. Pretty sure most fags who knock a woman up do it cause its hot and they want to or they are drunk. You can literally hold your cum in if you want to as well