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>>42801392
>QOTT: how would you react if someone called you pretty and gave you roses?
Why are they mocking me?

I feel like I'm dying, again

>>42801392
id run away to find a place where i can cry alone

>>42801392
>QOTT: how would you react if someone called you pretty and gave you roses?
My ex femrep offered to buy me roses once he said I deserved flowers and Called me a pretty girl. Ironically we were both pre hrt but we knew how bad each other felt. The hugbox was good it was the first time I ever liked being in a “straight “ relationship. He never ended up getting my flowers I really ruined everything

>>42801392
I'd immediately start looking for a hidden camera

>>42801392
i'd cry on the spot and break down

>>42801392
I miss femrepgen. Scholarly discussions in there, the next Hegel is a femrepper imo

threw out my weed and no liquor stores are open around me, this sober shit sucks
also appears It Is Happening which is interesting
>>42801392
I would wake up
think I'm getting desperate enough for male attention I'm willing to try to use my dick at this point. every morning I lay in bed wishing I was in some guy's arms but haven't really gone and done anything because I've just had breakdowns trying to have sex before

did i really rep so hard that WW3 is happening before i transitioned

>>42802970
>implying
remember, nothing ever happens, even when something does happen. iran is a shithole pariah state, i welcome its fall and hopeful reform even if (((israel)))'s one of the primary causes

>>42803085
my worry is iran is capable of giving israel a bloody nose and israel is psychotic enough to go nuclear in response

How do you guys not feel like you've been cursed by God with this. I feel like this every day I want to be annihilated

people are so nasty and cruel to each other

>>42803137
I do feel like that. Same.

>>42803134
samson option doesn't seem right when they're the one instigating things, but who knows

>>42803137
I feel like I'm in some kind of hell or purgatory

there's so many things I would want to do if I could do them as a cute girl
do anything as I am now just feels worthless so I simply rot

it feels like in order to try and do anything i want to do in life (transition, get employed, make friends) i have to start operating under a delusional mindset, as if i dont look like an ugly man, as if i could actually be of use to anyone, as if im a likeable person. like i have to psych myself up deep into delusion just to do things normal people do. its exhausting.

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Trying Carménère (Root:1 2021) for the first time in just a minute
Will post an update on it's quality as repfuel shortly

>>42803200
yeah, I've wasted my life in isolation. Anytime someone tries to talk to me in a bookstore or something I'm overwhelmed with the shame of being noticed

>>42801392
ooh. drunkard hobo called me miss and i gave him some coin. nice.
>>42802367
hah. wrong. as abovr as below neighbor can spy on you by drilling vertical longholes and putting thermal and electromagnetic cameras with magnetic field detectors and electromagnets so any attwmpt to disable them by rubbingng strong magnet in walls is futile. you need strong electromagnet that quickly quickly acheives max force. the camweras see your warmth and electricitym brain activity. they read your electronics too.
>>42802259
within
>>42802957
its happening... we will be happy. you need to fly high with us. join us.
>>42803177
southwest. north murica is fubar. samson is oldworld. hair is strenth. threads of life so they are very dear.
synchronicity is mad. it will be it or i am just having best high of my life oh my

>>42803633
it's pretty good
has a floral richness to it, but nothing too strong
I recommend giving it a try if you see it on sale for under $15
coming from someone who usually prefers whites btw

>>42803704
one of the many reasons why I just pirate books and read them on my phone

iwn have sex or have friends or do anything fun in life because my appearance is wrong

>>42803824
I still hold onto a couple childhood friends from when I was a kid who still kinda treat me like a feminine androgynous person despite what my body has since been disfigured into, but other than that yeah

I repperheart drinking at 6am

i dont even think i want to be a woman im just so particularly weird and ugly looking as a man that it makes me think im transgender. i feel almost deformed

>>42803810
I love to browse the selection and read the staff suggestions but yeah, it's the worst for that honestly and it's more common when it's a little crowded so multiple people chime in to a new conversation as they wait for an isle to clear or something
I avoid a charity bookstore that's all university surplus or academic donations, even though it's my favourite store, because the clerks are always chatty and inquisitive. It kills me.

>>42802768
>Scholarly discussions in there
Really? My impression was that it was mostly people falling for bait and dating attempts

>>42803137
I feel like its a curse to motivate me as an artist

>>42805153
I'm glad you're able to channel it into something good.

really wishing i could just be struck and die right now repping is so bad
t. israeli repressor

>>42807923
Its funny how many troons are Jewish if this is supposed to be a plot to enslave the goyim

>>42807923
get the fuck out of there

>>42807923
Stay safe nonny.

things would be much easier if I could just go
>hey I'm trans don't worry about it it'll be like a year before that actually matters
and then everything can be business as usual

I now believe that the #1 indicator of success / happiness is low agency vs high agency.
There are 16 year olds who will troon out, *maybe* they are AGP at best but whatever the case they saw a pic of Amy the Hedgehog in fishnets and decided to integrate that aspect into their lives. However, this person's high agency will lead to more fulfilling life outcomes overall. Most reppers over the age of 25 are low agency and lead lives of basic survival and nothing more.

>>42803808
Sounds good. Now I want wine.

i will not transition
i will not transition
i will not transition
i will transition
i will not transition

>>42808833
>Most reppers over the age of 25 are low agency and lead lives of basic survival and nothing more
Heh.
I got married, had kids, bought two properties, had set up funds for the kids' adulthood.
Between ages 20 and 30 I "grew out" of dysphoria.
But ultimately, you're right. I should've trooned 5yrs ago and be called a corona trender. Instead I repped hard thinking I can "grow out of it" again.
Still, I'm taking my shots and my pills at 37. Already two months in. Whew!

make me into a girl please

>>42808841
buy some then

fuck it my mind has broken

how do i start hrt

>>42810058
But I'm broke. :(

my desire to be a woman is eclipsed only by my aversion to being trans

i just need a bf to beat me until i'm fine being gay and it'll be fine

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This pic is why I hate my parents

every day we are all crucified
every day we all sin
i forgive everyone
i forgive Hitler
i am an atheist praying to a God i know doen't exist
i do my hair with my fingers trying to look good for the gas chamber
dear God
i know you're not real
and if you were
i doubt you'd really love me
but i love you anyway
even as i am crucified
every bullet hole in my corpse is a vagina raped by maggots
they are my children
i feed them my flesh
i'm finally a mother
giving life
long live life after death
there's no afterlife
i'm gone
every second, every minute, every hour
i die infinitely
i didn't ask to be born
let my soul perish
AI
AR
inhuman machine worldwide government torture me
laugh at me
i forgive the animals that's eating me
how many living meats crucified and died for me
i, human maggot, innocent blood feeding me
the human stain
the racist nigger
the worst of the worst
carnal superprison
latin american curses chanted by baby-dropping homophobic gay rapist children
high school, torture me
high school, torture me
every fat bi bitch hugging me
White Mexicans inciting me to do pull-ups self-consciously in the jail cell slowly killing me
guilty but unindicted
knowing no justice in the universe
no undoing my party misdeeds
just forgiving my persecutors
i forgive everyone who groped my tits 'till it hurt. without asking me

>>42803137
I can still walk. Things could be worse.

Grabbing my balls and saying "this is your fault"

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anyone else notice that Guiness is on sale basically everywhere recently?
currently on my 4th of the night so I'm definitely not complaining, but I do wonder what that's all about
St. Patrick's day isn't that close is it?

>>42811812
I try to avoid ever touching or looking at them, I really wish they would just fall off

my head is spinny and I'm feelin good and chatty but all my repper bros abandoned me wtf
did all of you kys or troon out?
pathetic weaklings

its been 4 years since i first committed to trooning and nothing much has changed, i got small boobs and less body hair, thats it.

I think at this point i have to just accept that I am who I am, im honestly okay with it now, much more than I used to be, im just a kinda ugly man, id need tons of surgery to look properly feminine, i dont think its worth it. i care more about getting my life together before i end up 35 still having these thoughts and spinning my wheels. you just gotta accept it and lock in.

my hand on my sack

>>42813139
Hey bro at least youre not bald, and dont have bon Scott chest hair

The way trannies act, you can't help but assume sexual motivations

Im realizing that self loathing and repression is fucking stupid. I might stop repping soon this sucks and isn't really worth it

Of course im having this realization while the country is becoming nazi Germany for trannies and spics

>>42817800
Repping is good. Indulging is a sin and will lead to punishment, a cosmic retribution towards you or your close ones. Repressors have to suffer less.

>>42817962
desu seems like my close ones didn't love me much they saw the problems and let me fester in it for all life while blaming me
repping can be like living an unexamined life and being slothful and not being true to yourself is also a sin

>>42817962
Im a protestant that bullshit doesn't work on me

>>42803134
That's my dream. Screw it all
>>42803137
I curse God out loud every single time I go outside and I'm in an area quiet enough that no one will hear me. Every single time.

Its gonna be a real pain in the ass to properly explain this shit to my gf. Women seem to think being a female is the worst thing ever

how long does it take for your levels to drop or recover after you stop hrt

>>42801392
i would say "what" and try to play it off as normally as possible

I've been applying a lot of feminization to myself in the last 6 months. Behavioral, clothing, changed masturbation patterns entirely and the types of porn and slowly learning skincare.
I'll probably order the pills soon. Repping is way too hard.

for the past 2 days I've been spending 3 minutes reading feminization erotica for every 7 minutes of work (from home).
doing this while I was still in denial used to cause these huge breakdowns, but it feels ok after trooning.
I do feel bad for the author and the person doing the art though, I've been enjoying their art for the past decade and they still seem to be repping

>>42823499
Mind sharing? I need any form of feminization content now.
t. >>42821827

>>42818091
I was born a protestant too but I still manage to repress by knowing that I would be punished by the universe / God / fate for not doing so.

If my mother just loved me
if she just told me she loved me once in my entire life
I wouldnt be like this
why did she do this to me?
what did I do wrong?
Maybe I deserved it.

>>42823844
I have a perfect mom and im still here

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Tōryanse, tōryanse

Koko wa doko no hosomichi ja?
Tenjin-sama no hosomichi ja

Chitto tōshite kudashanse
Goyō no nai mono tōshasenu

Kono ko no nanatsu no oiwai ni
Ofuda wo osame ni mairimasu
Iki wa yoi yoi, kaeri wa kowai
Kowai nagara mo

Tōryanse, tōryanse

>>42823499
>check in on an artist i used to coom to
>chudjak2passoid attending room parties in furry cons
it's over...

>>42813139
same worstie. i know it is my best interest to stop hrt and stop this stasis but life is so much more tolerable this way even if it brings a whole new set of challenges and issues

im hoenstly not erven a real repper i just hate myself and have a complex around gender. as if my life would be any different if i were more feminine, it wouldnt.

>>42826778
yeah its just kinda like you get to a point where hrt is only letting you numb yourself with a fantasy, as if another year on this is going to do anything but make you more of a weirdo. I just wanted to stop masculinisation, i think ill just be a man its probably not as bad as i think.

>>42826797
>letting you numb yourself with a fantasy
;-; yh i understand this.

the isolation is the part that slowly has gotten to me and it is just weird to people the older you get they start to wonder wtf is wrong with you bcos they can sense something is clearly off.
i feel like im way past the stage those who make it as trannys figure it out at and girl mode if anything I've regressed, so i have to accept the other path instead of forcing a square peg into a round hole.
i think what held me back was what was always my biggest issues and there is no waiting them our getting around them. body face soul are just too male to be anything else.

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god i wish i was a girl i wi h i was a girl i prayed evryeday sinse i was 5 and, no it did not hapen to my why. why am i fucking shizizo retarded fagot worfeles fucking fag, uhuhhuhhh i just want drink couhgh sirup tilll i dieeeeeeeeeeee i hate sober

>>42801392
This older guy walked up to my scooter a year ago ,called me beautiful and gave me his number so that we could talk over dinner.

im..
fucking brick

Looked 30 at 15

WHAT DID YOU SEEE? WHAT DID YOU SEEEEEE??????

I obviously never called

>>42802768
Oh great lil pooners learned a little pseudobabble

>>42821827
I've been doing all that since over a decade back and forth is it supposed to mean something
Ultimately it will just be called a fetish

>>42810870
New TF2 kill icon dropped.

>>42808833
Theres learned helplessness and varying levels of social support

>>42801392
take your HRT, retards

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>>42827514
HRT won't unrape me or turn me into an anthro woman.

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>you wanna be a hooah? What the fucks wrong with you
>society is full of hooahs and finooks you should set things right