He doesnt carry his own wet wipes and paper towels combo. She. Certain things you learn when you are growing up, that is one of them. Always put everything in the same place is another
>>220461331 >give him a brap fetish >okay, now make him incredibly insecure about it and swear to himself that he will never actually tell a woman about it >good, good. now, have him fall in love with a woman that he thinks he can trust >hold on... he's going to tell her, thinking she'll be okay with it >great. now have her tell everyone they know after they breakup because she cheated on him >now Truman can never trust women. perfect. What a fucked up episode.
>>220461724 >>220461398 Never once in my almost 40 years of life have I ever had the need to shit in public. Do people really just not have bowel control? Shit at the same time once a day at your house. What's the issue?
>>220461844 These are always fucking stupid. What did you think farts were going to smell like? I knew exactly what I was getting into and still loved it. I mean, Truman knew what he was getting into and loved it haha Honestly, Truman thinks posts like that might be fake because everybody knows what farts smell like. It isn't a surprise when you smell a woman's fart for the first time
>>220461462 This shit is legit scary sometimes. You open a thread that's been up for hours and as soon as you're in the images stop loading as you scroll down because it's been deleted
>it's a Truman falls for the eating ass meme and goes tongue deep up a Chinese girl's ass and spends the next week vomiting and shitting with norovirus episode
>>220461821 >have him come up with the perfect crossover meme that only applies to the current thread and he’s laughing his ass off at other shit attempts but knows his is gold, then have him spend 20 min working on the pic related…. Delete the thread
>OK, now.... for this season's arc, first I want to create a social narrative in Seahaven that eggs are bad for you. Then, halfway through... we flip the script. Eggs are good for you again.
>>220462054 I can hold it for a good while if im away from my toilet from home. I cant even shit if Im worried my wife can hear me say like in a small hotel.
>>220461331 >he’s driving with his wife and kids. Quick, send the worst human imaginable to cut him off on the road and ragebait him with road games. Make it so there’s a clear opportunity to pullover and confront the guy and beat him up but he won’t do it because of his family.
>>220461844 Perfect example of how reality is much more disappointing than what you build up in your head. Most online fetishists would disappear overnight if they actually had the opportunity to test their fetish irl.
>>220462519 >Why did you cheat on him? >WHY?!?!?! I was scared, he wanted to smell my farts, he would run into the bathroom every time I pooped. My panties started going missing, I SAW HIS SEARCH BAR SHOW HIS RECENT SEARCHES FOR JUST A SECOND WHEN HE HAD HIS LAPTOP CONNECTED TO THE TV!!!! I was scared to leave him, so I just stayed with him until could leave...
>>220461331 >give him a good jawline but have him develop a double chin even when he's skinny... perfect. Hes trying to cover it up with facial hair? Make sure his beard is patchy and never fully connects.
>>220462581 Cheating was fucked up but honestly can you blame her for being grossed out? It is a pretty weird fetish and the thing about fetishes is that theyre niche at best degenerate at worst
>>220462802 Yet it's perfectly normal and totally not weird for women to ask for choking, slapping, and hitting, sometimes even rape roleplay? GET REAL
>>220462877 Girls that are into that stuff are legit crazy though, fun to fuck around with but not to be in a relationship with. Regardless if I met a woman who wanted to smell my farts I'd be turned off.
>>220461331 >Make sure they give him a bagel with herb and garlic instead of plain cream cheese. >Ok good, now have his friend show up, notice, and help him say something to the staff. >Then say they just ran out of out of plain.
>>220461331 >cast someone with post nasal drip as his cubicle mate >make them constantly clear their nose and throat all day >trumans eating lunch, hock a loogie into the trash can... >again.
>>220461331 >make everyone in the classroom somehow get along with each other on the first day of college, except for him. Leave him isolated. I want to see his spirit crushed. Make him feel like he's barely human incapable of making relationships
>>220463311 Yeah but they are usually universal truths that nobody wants to admit to identifying with but reign true, not just random information about your day that applies to literally nobody and isn’t funny or awkward in the slightest.
>>220463391 Theres usually a good mix in these threads of universal experiences and specific shit that fucked up your day that feels like an omnipotent being is fucking with you.
>>220463391 >Have him a few minutes late to work >good, now have every light turn yellow a hundred meters before he gets there and have a cop at all the intersections
>>220463391 I'll admit, Truman dealing with garlicy bagels, fart fetishes and articles about eggs isnt exactly the best season arc we've gotten so far.
>>220463606 >okay, now let him on the on ramp, now set up a 30mph speed zone trap with no cones or any signs of road work anywhere and have him think it’s a 50mph zone
>okay inspire him to change his life with small steps >step one should be just going outside for a walk around the neighborhood....good. >He's actually doing it? That was faster than expected. >Okay now let's have someone make a weird face at him >Excellent. Now he'll think twice before leaving his room again.
>>220461844 This anon gets it >>220462212 I had a exhibitionism fetishism for a while, cfnm/cmnf stuff and I managed one day to be a naked model for a drawing session a friend of mine was organizing in his art group. Turns out having your junk out in front of a bunch of boomers and a couple of 4/10 girls for 50 minutes where you have to stay completely still, can't even sneeze or scratch your nose and the AC is freezing your ass all the time is definitely not the most erotic experience. Completely healed me from that fetish.
>>220463509 >>220463552 >>220463603 >>220463606 Bros this shit is legit real and I’m going full schizo over it and I’m about to grab the nearest fight to figi just to prove I’m right
>>220463313 >weed >>>crutch weed junkies are insane, no, your recreational brain rotting drug isn't a 'crutch' that you need to operate normally, it's a vice you refuse to drop because your parents didn't bother showing you the virtues of discipline. at least weed fiends are magnitudes less likely to have children so it self-corrects in time.
>>220463901 Ouch anon, >now have him feel personally attacked on the one place he feels accepted. >Don’t even give him a (You) This really is a brutal season
>>220461462 >quick use that great comeback he just posted but start another thread setting it up and same fag that comment as the fpbp, now delete the thread he made the original comment in and give him a 3 day ban for off topic while his comment in the new thread gets screen grabbed. It’s happened way too many seasons now that it’s just lazy writing at this point
>>220464167 >>quick use that great comeback he just posted but start another thread setting it up and same fag that comment as the fpbp, now delete the thread he made the original comment in and give him a 3 day ban for off topic while his comment in the new thread gets screen grabbed. Literally never happened, schizoshit.
>>220464182 Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to be able to post a reply to this? And yes… it’s happened quite a bit and I’ve even seen it happen to other anons as well
>He downloaded the picture... >Ok, camera 2, his photoshop screen >We'll keep it here, while he's editing the pic to make a funny meme >As soon as he saves the file, delete the thread
>>220461331 >give him a tinder match that seems legit and be a 5/10 and have her reply like she is sincere, make sure she responds for a few days >good, now have her invite him to a personalized cam show, and be sure she gets all uppity when he criticizes her for the deception and report him to the app. It’s getting pretty repetitive at this point, can’t the writers think of something else?
>He saw the thread in the calalogue, sir. He's about to click. >Good, delete it. Do it a few more times. >He's beginning to question reality, sir. >Good.
Hear what, exactly? The sound of the poo actually splashing into the water should easily be covered by the fan. Are you grunting and screaming everytime you produce a bowel movement?
If they controlled his life since the start of his life then why even teach him that Fiji exist? Why did he get upset when his wife was promoting the new cocoa? Everyone around him was doing it since he can remember, why would he find the behaviour weird?
>>220464934 >If they controlled his life since the start of his life then why even teach him that Fiji exist? "Fiji" is something an extra said when Truman asked him where were they going
>>220461331 >He's trying to plug his phone charger in the dark >Make it bump into the drywall >He flipped the cord? Good, make it not fit again >He's flipping it a third time. Now let it slide in perfectly.
>He's showing his friend a really funny YouTube video >Make it buffer right before the punchline >Wait, the friend is looking away. >Play it now, but drop the resolution to 144p.
>>220464934 >If they controlled his life since the start of his life then why even teach him that Fiji exist? Truman must be relatable to the audience. If he's just a bubble baby, who's taught that nothing outside of the island exists, he'd be less real. Hell, you could set Truman's Show on a lunar colony, make Truman believe he's a space colonist, and he can't leave the Moon. But this is not what Christof was going for. He wanted to display the life of an ordinary, unexceptional american. >Why did he get upset when his wife was promoting the new cocoa? Everyone around him was doing it since he can remember, why would he find the behaviour weird? Even if you live your entire life with people spouting advertisements at you, it's more than a little weird when it happens during an emotional argument. Like, if your dad starts rambling about his fishing trip while you're trying to listen to music, that's normal. If your dad starts rambling about it while you're tearfully asking him if you're adopted, it's a little weird. Like, why is he doing that?
>>220461331 >he's going to the store to buy pants and his current size is 32, I want all size 32 pants in the store to not fit him properly. Make the denims to tight in the groin and make the chinos give him diaper butt. Have the size 30s in the same brand be way too small and rest above his ankles. Delete any trace of size 31 ever existing.
>>220461331 >okay, now film him dropping the unbreakable monster of a shit that's been brewing in his colon for the past five days >and, also, cue up some fast food commercials for when he starts wiping his ass with the sleeve of his shirt
>He's watching a Nolan film. >Drop the dialogue audio mixing to 15%. >He's turning up his soundbar to hear what they are whispering. >Wait for it... >BAM. MAX OUT THE BASS DROP. WAKE UP HIS NEIGHBORS.
>>220461331 >"okay now before he puts it turn on the anti-erection emitter" >"are we cutting the prostitute scene short, sir?" >"no make him stay for another 20 minutes. Viewership is skyrocketing."
>>220465192 >have the girl finally come over and cuddle with him on the couch after 2 hours of him holding in a massive shit and piss, >force out some gas…good now have him have massive diarrhea and stink up the entire apartment. >make sure she’s gone by the time he’s done wiping
>>220465391 >sir he’s keeping a fun thread going by having creative and interesting on topic posts about a specific tv show and he’s getting (You)s and hearty keks. >Ban him! >But sir he hasn’t posted anything >I said Ban him, tag a post on a board he’s never ever browsed if you have to! >yes sir These episodes are getting old
>>220465391 >sir, he responded to a thread with vaguely on topic text but an off topic picture... he addressed the picture >delete the picture in the OP but keep the thread and its poster, ban truman for 3 days for his reply, no option for re-evaluating the ban.
>hes watching a supposedly safe pg13 movie with his parents >everyone is enjoying it >alright cue the totally unnecessary out of nowhere 3 minute sex scene >make the remote fall deep between the couch cushions so he cant fast forward
>Is he trying to plug in a USB? Make sure it doesn't fit >He's flipping it over? We can't have that work either >He returned it to the original orientation, now let it connect
>make him stand up against the people closest to him who always put him down >good, now fill him with grief so that he apologizes for asserting his independence and returns to his cycle of abuse I hate ratings traps, this is the third time they blue-balled us with this shit
>great work people, the pina colada song has been stuck in his head for a week >he's about to get in the elevator >get ready >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WGKIxixfdY
>The emotional finale just ended. He's sitting in silence processing the beautiful ending theme. >Perfect. >Shrink the credits to a tiny unreadable box in the upper left corner. >Now autoplay a blaring, colorful trailer for a Netflix teenage rom-com in 5... 4... 3...
>he's looking out the window, is the moving truck blocking his view? >are they hiding? >good, have it drive away >slowly >are they in sight? >now, zoom in on his face >beautiful
>You see those buttons? Had the mechanics install a tiny motor inside of all of Truman's cupboards. Whenever you see Truman bending over near a cupboard, you just hit the corresponding button to make it silently open. Instant slapstick.
>>220461724 Eh, if it's an emergency then you just do it, but usually you don't even need to poop that many times in a day. Like once in the morning and once at night.
>>220467888 I was in 5th grade and my mom stood up and hit her head like that, then collapsed and then she started to have a seizure. I called 911 all frantically and shit, lady was yelling at me to calm down and then my mom just came to as the ambulance pulled up.
>>220467955 Yeah, but if I had to choose between a public bathroom or shitting my pants, I would rather shit my pants, unless its a buccees bathroom, or a one person bathroom, assuming its clean. Aint no way your ass can be clean after using 1 ply TP.
>>220467968 that sounds horrible. One time I got up while emptying the dishwasher and banged my head so hard I fell asleep right after. Then I had the most abstract dream ever (i normally have strange dreams but this was just 100% colour, noise and nonsense)
Then I had exploding head syndrome the following days
>>220468009 Huh, guess it can fuck you up, thought it was just because my mom was kind sickly. My mom had issues so as I grew up I didnt flinch when my mom went through spells and stuff, but yeah that day it freaked me out.
>>220461821 >>220461994 >it's 2018 and he has to solve those awful slow-fade captchas >select hydrant >nope hahaha, let's try select bicycles >WRONG AGAIN TRYMAN
>>220461331 >make him pee before going to bed >now just as he gets comfortable he has to pee again. But have it where he can’t pee out one last little bit that seems to just stay at the tip of his penis
>...okay when he's finished talking have the extra pause for a little to long to indicate that he said something stupid even though it was a perfectly normal statement.
>he's having a good day at school for once because he's proud of the A he got on his Thomas Edison essay? >send in the hiv positive homeless man to rape him in the park on his way home Heh, where do they come up with this stuff?
>>220468662 Taking a shit in the dark is the closest a man can get to heaven. It is a spiritual experience, until you get to the part where you need to wipe.
the viagra laced coffee must be kicking in now, have his wife call and say works keeping her late, he needs to go to the daycare and pick his wifes sons up
>make him start watch sissy hypno >make him start shaving himself >make him download grindr >make him blow the first guy who messages him >make him feel shame and guilt and do it again and again damn the director was really a pervert
>what if Truman was raised by a single mother that works everyday so he just stays at home eating junk food and doing nothing? Those whole fifteen seasons were quite boring desu
>sir, he's moving house AGAIN. this is the eighth time now >doesn't matter. make all his neighbours fa old people >again? >yes, again AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>220461920 Ephesians 6:12 King James Version 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
>>220473527 kek. >make him move overseas as a 3 year old, so that perpetually everyone calls him the american guy, and ask his favorite football team, despite not even being old enough to even remember living in america >now, make sure he somehow has an ameircan accent well into his 30s >periodically change the street signs and order of the date to gaslight him into using the wrong one perfect
>make the cute latina girl he is dating invite him to dinner with her family >now tell grandma to prepare beans >make him eat 2 dishes >good, good... >now make him go on a family ride with her family for about 3 hours, dont let him open the windows...
>>220469120 I genuinely did have threads die on me while sitting there fucking seething about those slow fade captchas. On those bad days when it could take like a whole minute for the image tile to fade in and out.
>>220473943 Back when we had the fade captcha you could still set them to legacy instead, which was possibly the fastest captcha this shithole ever had. The current one is just pure cancer.
>how long has he been depressed? >2 weeks sir >make one of his friends send him a message inviting to hang with him >did he read the message yet? >yes sir, he is finally smiling! >good, good, now make the friend delete the message and send a new one saying "hey, the previous message was a mistake, hope you are well!"
>>220474286 i dont have friends, i have acquaintances at best, acquaintances who whenever they call me is to ask a favor and whenever i meet them outside they tell me "lets hang later!" or "ill call you later so we can hang!" and never hear of them again
>he always doublechecks when leaving a restaurant or a waiting room to make sure no one forgets anything >make him think there's no point this time so he doesn't look >make his friend forget his hat
>He working out? Good >Is he getting swole? Even better >He just bought a new thing of protein Perfect >Loosen the cap and have it on the edge of the counter so it falls off and spills everywhere.
>>220474472 It's not you, they do this to everyone because they're busy wagecucking and in their free time they're either chasing girls or fucking their girl before they wagecuck again
>>220474472 >whenever i meet them outside they tell me "lets hang later!" or "ill call you later so we can hang!" Know how people ask >How are you? But they dont reall expect you to spill your spaghetti, because its just a way to say an extra hello? Thats just an extra way to say good bye.
>He just bought a crisp white shirt? >He has decided its now his favorite shirt? >It fits him perfectly? >Make sure the lid on his coffee mug doesnt seal well and have his coffee spill all over it
>sir he was just invited to a classmates birthday party again >great make his skin get covered in eczema have some big bite swell up his face make his asthma that’ll stop existing only after it’s too late to make friends easily and make his autistic ass brother crash out >that’s the fourth time this year sir isn’t it getting repetitive >just it do it
>>220475472 >Ok he found the shortest line at the check out. >Make the person in front of him split the order 3 times. >Make their EBT card not work. >Make the person get made and demand a manager. >Make the person who was at the back of the long line check out he skipped get checked out. >Make that cashier leave for lunch. >Resolve the issue with the person in front of him >His turn? >Make the terminal shutdown "unexpectedly"
