Thread #34295611
Anonymous
Was this advice that caused a girl to break up with me from a therapist valid? 02/27/26(Fri)15:09:05 No.34295611
Was this advice that caused a girl to break up with me from a therapist valid? 02/27/26(Fri)15:09:05 No.34295611
Was this advice that caused a girl to break up with me from a therapist valid? Anonymous 02/27/26(Fri)15:09:05 No.34295611 [Reply]▶
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I started seeing a girl, who I was friends with for a month prior, 5 days ago and things were going incredibly well ,we'd hang out every other day, had a lot in common and I think we were both confident we would be good for each other.
I'm actually the first person she dated in 5 years. She was also very confused because she told me she was a lesbian but she thought was into me and she really had no idea if she was into me or not.
2 days ago out of nowhere(just a few hours prior she was texting me about future date ideas) she requested that I cease contacting her and that she's not interested in a relationship and told me her therapist, who she just saw, advised against her dating right now as she does have a decent amount of trauma. Just from what she's told me she did have exes who would coerce her into sex ( according to her it was not exactly rape but they definitely would be pissy with her if she said no and guilt her). I think there's a very decent chance more happened that she didn't tell me because one time when me and her were having sex she had me stop and started crying then had me hold her for 5 minutes.
So, regardless of whether or not her therapist wanted her to end the relationship, I respect her decision and I did originally think the advice, although disappointing for me, was valid considering her trauma but multiple friends of mine, including a woman, said the therapist is an asshole, that she should have waited a week or two to see what my character was like and that 5 years should have been enough for her to start dating again. So while I do still think the therapist's advice wasn't uncalled for and I respect her decision to end things, I guess I just wanted more perspectives.
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>>34295611
that therapist is completely insane and is trying to make her completely dependent on therapy lol
the next five years will be about “dealing with her trauma” and that therapist will get approximately one hundred thousand dollars out of her in that time. like a vampire sucking away her youth and money
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you did the right thing and are taking it very maturely anon, your friends are the assholes who arent taking in account that maybe theres more going on in her life than they know
having broken up with someone 5 years ago or the trauma she told you is not the only thing thats going on in her life, and her therapist probably had a good reason to advice such a thing (they usually dont directly advice for or against this kind of stuff)
your friends are probably trying to be supportive by putting the blame on someone and not thinking about the greater picture, but im 100% sure this isnt about you or "what your character is like", its quite literally about HER not being fit for a relationship right now
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>>34295611
Therapists aren't supposed to give their patients direct demands. Also stuff like this is stupid because then it means anyone who's gone through messed up things should never be in relationships which is even worse and more isolating. That therapist is sabotaging her unless there's something you might've done or said that you're not mentioning or that she mentioned to her therapist that you did
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>>34295611
>girl has traumatic background, specifically regarding a sexual relationship
>therapist suggests it might be wise to avoid sexual relationships while she sorts herself out
What exactly is suspect about that?
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>>34295611
Honestly, don't overthink it. Almost no one will blindly obey a therapist in a situation like this; and anyone who would is someone you probably don't want to be in a relationship with anyway.
Assuming the therapist is even half way competent, it's very unlikely he/she actually *told* the girl not to date you, anyway. What will have happened is that the girl will have asked for advice, they said "well, how do you feel? who do you think seeing him is a good idea? why do you think it isn't?" and they would have discussed it for a while, and eventually the therapist would have said "well, it sounds like you don't feel that you're ready to date yet, and if you don't, perhaps you shouldn't?" and she felt that this was sensible advice.
So, what it comes down to is, *she* felt confused and conflicted, and decided she wasn't ready to date. And that's a perfectly reasonable thing to feel, especially if you have abusive exes, and aren't even quite sure whether you're attracted to men at all.
>So, regardless of whether or not her therapist wanted her to end the relationship, I respect her decision and I did originally think the advice, although disappointing for me, was valid considering her trauma
That's a very healthy attitude. Tell your friends to fuck off. Sometimes people aren't in a fit state to date, no matter how nice the person they're dating might be.
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>>34295611
shes crazy bro
why would you even want to go out with her
anyway, this a purely girl moment
she shifted the blame to the therapist
when she infact has agency of her own
so no, the therapist is not in the wrong here