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At 27 years old I got my first internet gf. We dated for about six months before she blocked broke up with me out of nowhere, probably because she has BPD (which I learned about a month before she left).
Since then she has refused to talk to me but will occasionally send emails or messages if she sees signs of me pulling away. She's still keeping tabs on me. I don't think she knows what she's doing so I have given up on trying to rationalise it. She's shown no signs of moving on herself and on some level, probably regrets it.
It's been about four months and I still miss her a lot and think about her most days, and (as retarded as it is) would probably taker her back with very little hesitation if she asked.
At this point I'm more or less able to live my life again but a few weeks ago an actual flesh-and-blood woman has entered my life and seems to really like me. I don't know if I'd call them dates but we've spent quite a lot of time together and she seems really happy to spend time with me. She asked if she could hug me yesterday. Yeah, it's nice but something just feels wrong and like I shouldn't be doing it.
Sooner or later, it seems like I'll have to pick between a girl who seems to really like me and goes out of her way to talk to me, and a girl with BPD who has refused to talk to me for four months. This should be the easiest, most no-brainer decision in my life, but I feel incredibly conflicted by it.
What should I do, /adv/? Why am I having such a hard time with such an obvious choice?