>>34301794
>33 and a virgin
Experience doesn't appear magically. Pay for it, as you will for any teaching.

>>34301829

I don't care about virginity itself. I care about lack of girlfriend. Female attention, support, being loved and loving back, feeling secured on that front. I wouldn't be scared if I was 10 years younger, but the time flies fast, so I occasionally fall into a depressive panic mode. Like now.

>>34301835
>>34301794
It's over, sorry. Being around women actually makes the pain a lot worse. Hermit mode feels safer and more ok.

>>34301794
I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but if you've made it to the age of 33 without getting laid IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. Your one and only option at this point is hookers. It sucks; but if you accept this and find other ways to make your life fulfilling then you will be *so* much happier than if you just keep trying and failing for the next thirty years and never build anything else.

>>34301794
If you get to this age with zero experience it's entirely a "you" problem. Just from your brief post, I see two problems already
>introverted and somewhat sociophobic at that time
i.e. you like to make excuses for yourself
>I just don't feel attracted to them (looks and personality wise)
Your standards are too high.
I'm your age but I lost my virginity to a girl I met at a brony meetup back in 2012 when I was 20. A brony meetup of all things. She was cute, we had the same interests, flirting came naturally. I noticed her as soon as she came into the room (and not just because the three other girls there were ugly hambeasts), like the "spark" people mention in romantic movies.
>Found one girl, but it didn't work out, she didn't like me back.
Yeah, sounds like you were picking based on some unrealistic standards so it didn't occur to you she was out of your league.
If you're really going to hobbies where women appear all the time, it should just be a numbers game. But damn man, you have to pick someone eventually, you can't hold out hope for the perfect sweetie.
>>34301829
I have had sex with quite a few girls and many more prostitutes than that and let me tell you and OP, sex with a prostitute is nothing like sex had out of passion

File: images(22).jpg (21.9 KB)

21.9 KB JPG

>How did it suddenly "happened" to you?
it didn't

>>34301794
>"I didn't expect it and then it suddenly happened"?

No, because thats not how it works. Its more like "I tried something even though I was scared and didn't believe it would ever work. And then it worked." Because thats what people mean when they blubber about "suddenly" meeting someone. Basically you fire off what feels like a hopeless hail mary by trying to kiss some chick, and against all expectations it works.

>>34301794
I’m like you OP but younger. I wouldn’t say it happened to me since I’m still a virgin. But I did get a relationship. She was the one that made a move first. I don’t know why she did. I guess because I was attractive (because I care a lot about my appearance) and was enthusiastic about talking about video games of all things lol. I’ve since asked out several girls but it never works out because they expect me to lead and I don’t really give a shit about any of that. I think deep down us being virgins makes us feel unlovable so we can only find love when women make the first move (which is ultra rare because they’re all pussies figuratively)

>>34302431
>I’m still a virgin.
>But I did get a relationship

How the fuck do you get into a "relationship" without even fucking? Were you 14 years old? If not, no wonder it didn't pan out. Thats like putting the cart before the horse.

>they expect me to lead
They just (mostly) expect you to initiate physical contact, kissing and all that at some point. If shes willing to meet with you, you're basically halfway there. Just have a bit of a chat first so shes comfortable with you.

>>34302431
>(which is ultra rare because they’re all pussies figuratively)
I never bought into this. Women are just as aggressive as men when it comes to going after things they really want, just look at how they are when it comes to making money, education and traveling.

The more a woman likes you the more effort she will put in. You had that experience because they just thought you were okay but replaceable.

File: ssj.jpg (43.9 KB)

43.9 KB JPG

Chad Marco max. You're literally the same age.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTO-fe7uSK8

>>34302533
Women fear rejection a LOT more than men do. Also, they are wired to feel turned off in tghe face of male passivity. Its not about being some kind of ultra smooth chad, but about showing courage. Because if you can't even make a move towards a harmless small woman, what are you going to do when the big bad wolf comes knocking?

>>34302533
I can’t really say if that’s true. From my experience women don’t really shoot their shot. I’ve had women happily want to talk to me but I only know because I bother talking to them first. I think the reason why that one girl made a move on me was because she would drink a lot

>>34302557
>Women fear rejection a LOT more than men do
You only think that because you don't see things from the perspective of high value attractive men who actually know how women are when they want you badly enough.

>>34302594
>From my experience women don’t really shoot their shot.
Because you are mid and replaceable. Look up stories of attractive men.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/183sad/what_is_your_life_like_ultra_attractive_men/

Women put in effort proportional to their level of attraction to the guy. Women are not shy, they just don't lie you that much.

File: 1770257167287452.jpg (32.7 KB)

32.7 KB JPG

>fit
I don't understand fit incels. You could go fucking ANYWHERE, run clubs, swimming, crossfit meme groups, rock climbing, marathons and hiking etc. And you would automatically be at least normie status just for showing up.

>>34302843
The gymcel phenomenon is real, and being /fit/ is not a lock for scoring pussy.
A few years ago I got into the best shape of my life after a breakup, but it was also the worst time I've ever had with women.
DYEL with good vibes and smooth confidence > hot /fit/ guy who's desperate and awkward

>>34302843
>normie status
so still incel?

>>34301794
>told I'm cute
I get that when you were told that, that you were sociophobic, so I can forgive you not realizing that being told you're cute is an opening to talk more and then ask her out. How old were you when you were told you were cute? How exactly did she tell you that you were cute?

Realize that at 33, you may have lost your cuteness. I'm 1 year (almost exactly) younger than you. It took me until I hit 30 to realize that when I was in my early 20s and teens, I was good looking. I based this off of being told that I looked like a certain attractive celeb. I didn't read enough about him back then to know that he was considered very attractive. When I was 25 I was told that I looked younger than that.

I think in my 30s, I no longer have those looks. I'm starting to lose my hair just a little bit. I'm much better than my dad who was bald at 27. I'm nowhere near bald, but keeping my appearance is harder now.

I even got a girl's number and another girl asked me out in high school. I fumbled getting asked out by turning her down because I didn't expect to be asked out. I wasn't thinking at all in that moment. Nothing came of the phone numbers because after 1 call, I didn't know what to say and I also didn't have a drivers license to go meet her and I didn't want to ask my mom.

I didn't know how to socialize. I always needed a game with my guy friends when hanging out with because I didn't know what to talk about and disliked small talk.

Life isn't like romance movies, or movies or shows in general. As a kid I too often based how I was supposed to act or how something should be, based off of shows. The closest thing to "suddenly" I had was this time I found my crush in middle school at a school dance in the crowd as it changed to a slow song and we wordlessly started dancing. I messed up because I got shy and then never asked her out. Things don't just suddenly happen in most cases.

Character limit... one more thing next post.

>>34301794
Do you go to church? Lots of religious girls who are looking for a stable committed husband who hasn’t been fooling around their whole life.

>>34303407
Part 2:
Now that you're better at socializing, reflect on yourself. If you just want to not be a virgin, the easy way is to pay. If you'd rather lose your virginity with a girlfriend you need to make opportunities for yourself by going places or trying to date online. It isn't going to just happen. You need to put the effort in.

I wrote a short essay because I think you and I are very similar. My friends in high school told me I could have a toned body easy. (They were probably right, but I didn't know or care at the time.) I'm 6 foot 1 and skinny but have always hated working out. We both didn't understand socializing in our youth. I think in our 30s we now have had the time to reflect a little bit and understand where we went wrong. When I was younger, I didn't care for the discussion on these forums because I thought it was boring. and I didn't care about the social issue people had. It was just go to school/work, come home and play vidya, and hang out with friends. In my 20s I was almost never around women. I'm still not, and I know that if I want to date, I'll have to put myself out there and sign up for a website because I can't stand crowds or clubs or bars.

My questions in the first post are not rhetorical. I am curious to your answer as I'd also like a comparison. Thanks in advance. I hope you can use your newfound socialization skills to advance yourself. I know I'm trying, but there are a lot of days where I don't want to try because that's easier or I don't think about trying because I'm wrapped up in another hobby project.

>>34303411
Not, OP but I want my two cents on this one. I'm the anon who posted a two post essay in a similar situation to OPs.

I don't go to church because my mother and uncle (dad's brother) are both religious and preachy. I dislike the irrational mindsets they have about the subject of God and how argumentative and judgmental they get and how try to force other people into their viewpoint. I also feel like I'd feel fake going for that purpose. I've always believed that church should be time with God, not time to find a future spouse. However, I know of men who go to church just for a virgin wife, and these men have been fooling around. It sickens me that they do this. The real reason I go don't go to church is because I don't want to be around people who behave like my mother and uncle. I know not everyone is like this, but I'd feel fake and would likely break some nice girl's heart if she ever found out how jaded about this I am, but I'd have to admit to her because I do not want to be fake about it like I am with my mom.

>>34301794
Don't listen to the doomers, I was in your shoes and met my fiance out of nowhere at 29 (we've been together for 4 years now). I was a schizoid loner for most of my life, not interested in women (especially not normies), until I suffered a life-threatening medical condition that forced me to reevaluate my life. Around that time, a cute engineer was hired at my company; so bubbly and the opposite of me in many ways that I couldn't help but chat with her. She had a bf but we stayed friends because of shared nerd interests for around a year (with some flirting on both sides), until she dumped him and we got together.
What dooms incels is the bitterness they develop over the years that's utterly repellant to women. It doesn't seem to be your case, so you'll be fine bro.

>>34301794
Know this: Not choosing to is choosing not to.

>>34303439
>just get extremely lucky bro
>just steal another guy's gf as well
this is the reality

reminder women are unable to live alone for more than a week so they'll always have a bf since they'll always have 5 guys orbiting them at the same time, you must therefore ignore the fact that they have a bf and also accept that being their bf means nothing to them, love means nothing to them, they'll fall for the next guy who woos them, such is life

>>34303439
>schizoid
>at my company
You're such a lying fag

>>34303479
>was
Schizoid's can get on meds and change their lives anon. Why so hateful?

>>34303452
Most people meet their gf at university, so of course you need to be lucky as you get to a certain age. But the more women you meet, the better your chances. As for stealing a gf, you underestimate how many women are with a loser bf who won't commit. It's really not hard to look like the better option.

>>34303479
It's not *my* company if that's what you imply. I just had a comfy autist job there. Also, I mellowed out by my late 20s.

>>34301794
>At 31 I found hobbies, girls appear there regularly
what fuckin hobbies? I came to the conclusion years ago women don't have hobbies except taking photos of themselves.
>also 34 khhv

>>34302922
NGL as a woman I low key really want to find a gymcel but I'm afraid he will be so full of insecurity it will just be my two relationships all over again

>>34301794
I think you’re suffering from the same thing a lot of men are. Instead of just giving a woman who appears in your life a chance, you reject her because of your preconceived notions. Your loneliness is your own fault. If you’re really 33 and have a decent job, there’s no way women are out of your reach. You just have pornbrain rot or something.

File: 11999.jpg (217.3 KB)

217.3 KB JPG

>>34303441
>>34302156

I don't consider those to be excuses. I reflected a lot about my mental state during my 20s and I really couldn't date (and didn't even had an opportunity) until all my obligatory family issues were resolved and I was left alone to deal with my own shit. Sadly, they were resolved only at 30 years old. At 31 I got hobbies and some form of social life. My problem is that I don't understand if the way I live now is the way a man supposted to live to get a gf. Should I just keep living like I do now and have some patience? Remote job (though with occasional meet ups) plus hobbies 4-5 days a week, relaxation and chores on the rest? Obviously if opportunity presents itself I would act. I know this because I did that already. I just have nothing to compare my experiences to.

>>34302431
>>34303439

Thank you.

There comes a point where you have to ask yourself; “Am I doing what ai need to do to achieve XYX results? Or am Injust wallowing and self misery and blaming the world?” You can absolutely do it. But you need to start with (you). Genuine do some self reflection.

>>34303549
Have you considered going to the gym and talking to some of them

>>34303549
The problem is these ethots with their phones baiting guys into feeling bad for looking for content. Most guys in a gym are there just to workout, and think you can't even approach anymore. Like, we get that you're there to workout too and so don't want to bother you because you might find the gym "unsafe" or "creepy". The good ones leave you alone after asking once, the creeps will keep on you after one rejection.

If you're afraid, you'll never get what you want, so you just have to go to the gym and maybe you'll feel good around someone to match. If he turns out like you're last two relationships, you should know early signs by now to get out before it turns to shit, so it should actually be easier. But sometimes all you need with an "insecure" man is one healthy, adult conversation about what you're looking for.

>>34303577
>for looking for content
for looking,* for content

I missed a very important comma there.

>>34303497
What meds? Are you retarded?

>>34303549
You are a biological man with XY chromosomes so you don't need to be afraid of anything