>>34303058
Bump

There is only one thing that will help you.

Skydiving. 10 jumps.when you make it onto the ground after the 10, then you’ll have your answer.

>>34304348
I did go skydiving during this time once and it was surprisingly boring. I went so numb from the anticipation that I couldn’t feel the excitement. I have good reason to think 10 times might drive me into really deep apathy. I’d still be open to consider your reasons for the advice though.

Another detail is that I’m unable to feel limerence for any woman. Even if I try to obsess myself with one, it doesn’t work well. Whereas before I’d automatically want them a lot just because they looked cute.

>>34303058
So I'm 29, and when I was 28 about to turn 29 I decided to do the exact same things, I went to hiking groups and random social events from meetup, I joined a salsa and bachata dance class, I joined an acting group, I joined 2 choirs, I stuck with these things for half a year, and more for the random meetups, for the ttrpgs, and hiking stuff.
I made friends, I had fun, throughout all of it my real goal was a girlfriend.
I'm now 29, about to turn 30.
Every ounce of excitement for life has been drained out of me. I've developed expectations towards girls, got excited as you said - limerence, and then disappointed when they rejected me or shit just didn't work out.

You say you got sex - you got way further than I did. I went on some dates where we didn't call them dates. I made good friends with some women, that's it.
I never got an ounce of romantic attraction. I have completely changed my looks in this time, losing 20 kilograms which is a lot, you should concert it to pounds, and now I'm only overweight on the bmi bracket, where before I was considered obese class 2 (there's also class 1 that I passed)

So, I actually been through and still going through the exact same thing you are. I started to get suicidal thoughts earlier this year, because I just can't separate my success with women from my value as a person, and it's insanely difficult. I want to tell you the ultimate solution, but truth is I don't have it. I have the next best thing, which is my resolutions.

1/2

>>34303058

2/2

In short (because I'm running out of typing space) the priorities I'm trying to stick to now are:
1) Me
2) School (or work)
3) The Rest
I try to separate me and school from women, to realize that if I can't experience my best life, which is with a partner, I'll experience the second best - which is taking care of myself to feel good, take care of school to feel self worth, ambition, and a sense of progression in my place within society, and then to have friends, even male ones, because the correct friends can give you self worth, which is another ingredient to believing in yourself and believing that you can succeed with women. In believing that you have self worth.
This supposedly helps me to take the pressure of constantly evaluating myself versus other people away from school and away from taking care of myself, so that I stop conflating the two and then hopefully stop absolutely not taking care of myself.

I believe that, with consistent exposure to friends in MY OWN IMMEDIATE environment (so for me, it's in my school, where I can find people in my own life stage, and in my city, meaning everyone I meet has somehow ended up here and it's easier to keep in contact) and by going to social events even alone and not giving a fuck and needing someone else, but just going, eventually I meet so many nice people, and I will get invited to things, and I'll matter. And then, things can just happen.
That's how I see other people do it, that's how I think I'll do it. And throughout all of that I'm still losing weight, and I still have about 16-20 kilograms to go so I'm only half way, and yeah man. Hopefully good things happen.

>>34303058

3/3

Also I gave you the usual advice I give, about getting girls, kind of ignoring that you said you did get girls. So I'm going to throw an addendum here and say that all of this advice still applies to you. It could be that the girls you were meeting and having success with were only flings and you wanted something more personal and intimate, it could be that they weren't interested. It could also be that those girls were the correct ones (though I don't think they were if you lost all happiness) and that the real problem is that you are lacking in taking care of some things, of basic things as part of your 1 (taking care of Me) and 2 (taking care of school/work).
It's a formula.
I personally can't see a world where I have a girlfriend to look forward to hanging out with and I'm not happy. Those girls you were meeting probably didn't feel honest. Like they weren't really interested in you but rather in a mask of you. I think then the best thing you can do is instead of trying to be someone else, be yourself. I've dropped my dancing, it made me feel uncomfortable. I dropped my acting - it was fun but a huge time sink &my passion for it isn't huge. &I stopped singing in my choir, for which I have a huge passion, but I felt so jealous of everyone there for having their lives put together, and for being active members of their own city and community. I realized I'm wasting time tending a garden in another city, while mine is full of dry dead grass and weeds and brambles. So to stop feeling this way, I'm now tending my own garden. Every opportunity that comes while I'm in my own city and school environment, is given to me by someone who already lives in my city, who's already a student&already goes to my school. Who's young, pretty, happy, &not judging me based on how much money I have cuz we're all scrubs here. Just judges me based on looks and behavior, &those are things I can work on. So yeah man, be consistent in your own circles,&take care of yourself