Why am I so mentally ill and strange, my entire family is saddened that my grandfather is essentially killing himself and explaining that we need an intervention, yet I am unflinching its just...something to me. This happened with my last grandfather, I watched the man i cherished as a child slowly die. Yet I felt nothing? I felt more remorse at my lack of sorrow than real grief. Is there actually something just psychological wrong with me? I felt like some day it would "hit" but the day has still never come even after like a year or two.

I'm reaching the limit. I miss her every single day and I know I will never see her again. I do what I can, but it's impossible. She gave me hope, now I'm back to what I was. I'm so empty inside. I'm a corpse.

I hate stupid fucking dogs so much. I hate everything about them. I hate the fucking nutter owners fucking everywhere with their stupid fucking selves and their stupid fucking pests. This dog obsessed society, this obsession with unnatural beasts because you're all too mentally unstable and stupid to function, that you live in filth and noise for no fucking reason. All this damn fuckery.

I'll burn you all to the ground. Die nutters die. Fucking die fuckers.

I hate women so much. No I'm not an incel, yes I've had sex etc etc
It's just that women are so god damn awful Idk how the fuck they live with themselves, fuck I hate them so much.

Allergies

I don't actually want to get sober and stop drinking
It makes so many things better
It kills my inhibition and makes people like me more and I might have a gf soon for the first time because of it
It's the only thing that has ever stopped anxiety in its tracks and I've tried a ton or pharmaceuticals
But it's at a high level now, to the point that it would be medically dangerous to try to cold turkey it, which is probably not good. And if I keep it up for long I know it's gonna fuck my body up
But it's so good
I didn't think I'd become an alcoholic, it's not in my family. Oh well

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>ex got in contact
>do music as a hobby, turns out his kid likes it
>wants me to play at her birthday party
>even makes a point of mentioning that she's been down "since the divorce"
I feel like I fell into the plot of a Hallmark movie. I'm suspicious of it. At the same time, I am definitely going to do it because I like playing music, I like making money, and I like cheering up kids. Just can't help feeling like there is something bad waiting around the corner because that has been a pattern in my life. Or maybe I'm just overthinking it and he saw a good excuse to get in contact and maybe try to start things up again.

I'm currently in talks with my ex from 4/5 years ago she reached out to be after high school and im so afraid to fall back in love with her since I was a shitheel who wasn't good for her and while she had her own mistakes I never talked it out with her and yet she haunts my dreams and i learned she's felt the same and im so scared to start again with her because despite dating multiple women she's my dream girl and I'm scared to mess this up again because now I don't have the excuse of being in high school.

One part of me wants to start jumping for joy but another part of me is terrified and honestly just considered ghosting her so that way I end things on my terms but I know that's retarded but I don't know what to do anymore. nothing feels real I'm happy and terrified.

Thank you for the story, it was beautiful. I love you

Is it wrong to just filter out any vids or select not interested in any video containg stuff like whatever dumbass law that fucks with your rights that the government is trying to pass? Or breaking news Like the discord stuff or California's new OS law?

When I see stuff like this, I can't stop thinking about it all day. I know that stuff is terrible and it feels like the gov wants to id you simply so you can leave your house, but I'd just worry my life away and make myself miserable

I waited for so long for her to come back different, smarter, more dependent, and taking care of her daughter
It was all a pipedream
Instead of waiting I should be out there living and growing
If she ever looks back I'll be the different person

I can send something to damage their reputation and start this shit flinging war again but I froze before I sent it
I don't want to be involved with her anymore
I don't want to tarnish myself by throwing shit

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I'm not

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Above it

I hate that my BPD brain makes me basically a politician when it comes to relationships. I wish I could just take things at face value and not question everything.

fucking die fucking die fucking fuck you need to die subhuman kill

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>>34306184
I can't. My marias future is in my hands and I need to take care of her.

i dont know your name, but i think youre cute and it would be nice to talk with you a bit more

>>34306211
I think you're cute and I'd like to talk more with you, too.

I am very tired of people not communicating with me despite me being thoughtful and mindful when we speak, then treating me like I'm an asshole when it gets too much to bear and turning 180 on me. A friend of mine just lashed out at me after I asked them why they ghosted me for a couple weeks. They essentially said it's because I talk too much about my ex (fine, fair) but I have never brought her up without asking if they were comfortable talking about it and they made me feel secure and heard. I told them it wasn't fair to turn around on me like that and they said to stop guilt tripping them and went back to not speaking to me. I haven't spoken about my ex in weeks and it just seems like a shitty thing to do to a friend when you said you'd be there to lean on.

>>34306344
And on top of that, yeah I do wish I had someone to talk to about how I feel about her without feeling like trash. It's fine that this friend doesn't feel comfortable with it but for a long time I thought they were the only one who understood. I had made a lot of progress and I felt like that was thrown back in my face, now my one friend is mad at me and I feel sad about my ex again. I really try my hardest to not be a burden to my friends and it feels like no matter what I take up too much space and they are unhappy with me. I think I deserve better than that and I wish the ones who I love would reciprocate the care I show them.

>>34304732
my friend just told me that my crush told her she considers all of us as her family, is it over for me? familyzoned

>>34306184
Let your anger out. I know why you're angry. Make so that the person you're angry at knows exactly why you are furious.
I made the mistake of telling people I care about not to cry and to hold tears in many times. "Don't cry for me. Be stronger and move on". I'll tell you the opposite. Unleash your emotions. Open up Pandora's vase and let them feel your well justified anger.

Just for the record I don't know who you are, and you don't know who I am either. Take this as a "moderate effort schizopost".

I’m such a cuck in reselling shit I want to strangle a girl who hates me and recommend a surgery clinic to me after I gave her a bomb ass deal on a bunch of stuff

Living in the cluttered mess I'm in really is doing my head in.
>wishing I could move out again and this time keep the place tidy

>>34306395
You do realize the material objects never mattered to me. That's why I never even brought it up that you never paid it off. In any case, don't be a cunt You're the one who's been cucking him with me and said you were done with him within the first 2 hours of us talking again

>>34306486
Trolling retard, that poster is a guy.

>>34306486
What the fuck are you talking about

>>34306512
At this point he's trolling, just hide his posts

Give me an objective rating on how stupid I was in this situation that happened years ago and I still think about to this day:
>someone is head over heels for me, like huge crush if not outright in love
>I don't take my shot because of irrelevant reasons
>I try hard to make a move and in a cringe way too to someone else that went cold on me
>the person that was in love with me realizes and thinks less of me as a consequence
>I make very lewd remarks to the first person I mentioned and they start to actively despise me

Why dont you directly say you dont care about me so i can end it

>>34306521
Not cringe, happens to everyone.

I'm getting really fucking tired of this awful timeline we live, can we please just fucking guillotine the rich?

>>34306535
I did not ask if it was cringe, I asked if it was stupid.
I'd personally give it a 10/10 on the stupidity scale.

>>34306538
Yea anon you a chance at needy girl pussy

>>34306539
Lost

I am violently bitter and I wont stop until you and your friends are as heartbroken as me. You can be the good guy all you want, ill make sure there is no happy ending for you.
I hate you all with everything in me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1frqa1uuK8

For me without you there is no happy ending. I will just exist to try and help make life a little less trouble in the day to day like at work, small improvements to distract. There is little to nothing else that will make me happy so I cant complain when it inevitably becomes worse.

>>34306561
Do your best, all of my friends are also your friends.

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Slept in too late and don’t get to see the blood red moon. Now it’s too sunny outside.

If I join some kind of board game or art club as a 30-ish year old shut-in, are they going to immediately pin me as a weirdo and want me to leave?

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>>34306746
Don’t go near the college clubs anon.

>>34306807 fuck me i forgot one crucial word lmao
How am I 3 years into this job and getting reprimanded for not doing something I've literally NEVER been told to do or even shown how to do? I didn't know it was a requirement. I thought it was an automatic function.
And I better not hear jack shit about an imperfect cleaning job when you scheduled me less than a skeleton crew. Look at the sales bitch. Look at the cameras and see how packed the building was with customers. No, that's not unusual for a Monday. It hasn't been unusual for a Monday to be that busy since summer 2024. The company we work for hasn't had a negative quarter in seven years and yet since the day I was hired our labor budget hasn't changed.
We're struggling to meet demand and instead of saying "hey what can we do as a team to fix these issues" you're just hitting the group chat with "this is unacceptable, fix it."
The only reason you still have me as a closer is because no one else is hiring because the job market in the USA is fucked fucked fucked.

>>34306766
Surely there are other clubs?

>>34304732
Don't get me wrong, I love my mentally ill posting, but I really want to gamble on US politics right now.
What's the over/under for Trump impeachment?

A good friend has developed a mental issue and is claiming demon possession.
We usualy play boardgames together, but he's had an episode and interrupted his own games nearly everytime for the last week. He's procrastinated on going to a doctor for either his physical or mental issues.
His main concern has been convincing me? which isn't nessesary as I already see it and doesn't really matter for his improvement, as I'm away for weeks at a time.

I feel bad just leaving for work, but what the actual fuck am I supposed to do?

Nevermind, every time I think I'm over her, she pops into my mind for a moment and I see the life that was robbed from me.
I'm not even unhappy per se with where I am now, I just wish I had her with me.

I'd rather be told to fuck off than be ignored fully.

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>>34306828
Sure, there's are boardgame nights at local gameshops, small conventios nand meet-ups at peoples houses all the time, that are much more open to the public. Usually in the weekend. I don't know the other anons particular issue with college.

>>34306857
call an exorcist?

>how are you going to handle these things when your dad and I are gone?

I don’t know, weren’t you guys supposed to teach me how to handle these things when?

>>34306893
His gf already did that.

He hotboxed sage, in the middle of his game turn and smoked the whole house in sage so much people had to go outside to breath.

>>34306895
They didn't. They might have been your parents, but now you have to do the job regardless of thier failure.

>>34306599
>For me without you there is no happy ending.
That's touching.

How do I cope with the fact I equally want two different people that don't really get along with eachother?

I'm going to sperg out at the amount of fucking MIGGER chuds who legitimately believe in Iranians "rising up".
Why do slop loving, trough devouring pigs not understand basic concepts like Vanguardism?

I'm sorry I said I want to ravage your body. I want you because I genuinely like you, not just because of lust.

Damn really does feel like a rigged game.

>>34307075
This is the sweetest, most caring thing to be conveyed.. genuine compassion, admiration, and interest in a person beyond physicality is one of the most sacred and romantic measures. And while it does feel good to have someone you care about, let you know they find you attractive.. the combo can birth a forever bond.
Don't sleep on the real ones you feel that true connection with.

>>34307090
Thanks. The person that is meant to be for already told me "I'm never going to hear from them again". It still stings.

>>34304732
Just learned there's something called small penis syndrome, and now I want to kill myself all over again

>>34307079
Why are you complaining if the game is rigged in your favor?

I fucking hate my loser bum class. They do absolutely nothing. The last 3 fucking hours half of the class spent sleeping and the other half spent it gaming. The teacher has already given up on us,except for a few of us, including me.
What's worse is that I'm like 10 years older than those teens, so they all treat me super weirdly and even call me a pedo and an outcast behind my back. I fucking hate this. Only 1.5 years left of this garbage.

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I need meth, a secondary education, money, and a way out of this house I've been trapped in forever.

>>34307257
Agreed except for the first option

>>34307159
Why indeed.

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someone should invent a term for when you realise you are a asshole but lack the genuine understanding of how not to be one

I want the people that concocted the American education system to suffer Hell, but not forever. Only like a 100 years tops.

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>>34307271
Come to think of it I take that back. Hell should be a desire of no one.

>>34307266
Then why bring it up in first place if it is indeed rigged in your favor?

>>34307271
Forever is appropriate

Revenge implies something deeper and darker from inside myself.
It's like overstepping a line to go after someone who has no weight in my life anymore when I can just keep living my own life.
Even taking two minutes to write an anonymous email feels like I'm letting their energy dictate how I live my life.

>>34307277
I just hate what years were robbed from me for literally nothing. It's a joke that harmed me. The bulk of what I didn't forget was learned in the first 3 grades and at best I came away with some "historical" knowledge that serves as a backdrop for my understanding of things. I've learned more watching autistic race realist videos.

I've been pregnant from four different men

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>>34307297
I'm a mutant because of microchimerism.

I forgive you Norge. My apologies about the larping as you. I already told you more than once why I didn't reply to many of your posts in the other place, but I will tell you again: getting mindbroken by you know who. Will you forgive me?

>>34307301
Allegedly.

Oh yeah? Huh? What of it conpop?

Yeah. That's what I thought.

>>34307293
That's why forrever is appropriate. They damaged you intentionally to harm your social ability and self awareness, during formative years. This can't be fixed, or undone.

Bro crashed dow jones and now he wants to "borrow money". Yeah right get a job nigga.

>>34307270
maladaptive narcissism, entitled egoism, or simply being self-absorbed with a lack of emotional intelligence. This state often involves awareness of the behavior but a persistent, often defensive, inability to adopt empathetic, pro-social behavior.

>>34307291
Do it.

I wish I had some meaning to her.

>>34307577
How do you know that you don’t?

>>34307660
Since she gave me her number (because I asked her) she barely replies to me. I know she has a lot of work but I think it's time to accept the reality. It has been 5 days since she didn't answer to my last message. If she cared only a little about me, I think she would have text me by now.

>>34307674
Yeah, she sounds like a bitch. Ditch her ass.

>>34307695
>she sounds like a bitch
It saddens me to read that kek. I wasn't like that until I meet her. I used to be more cynical and arrogant. After all, she gave me her number out of pity and she's a nice person, of all the people who I used to work she at least was the only one who talked with me sometimes maybe that it's because I don't think her as a bitch.

>>34307730
Tough luck

>>34306509
>>34306516
You wish I was but I'm not

The thing is she does love me. She doesn't love you

>>34307837
>>34307806
Meds

>Talk to girl
>Think it's going well
>Start talking about what we're gonna do to each other when we meet up
>She's really into it
>For days we talk about this stuff and we're so fucking horny
>She's obsessed with how she's gonna suck me and make me cum
>She mentions that she wants to eat my ass while she jerks me
>I say I'm not really into that
>We keep talking and she brings it up again how she wants to tongue and rim my asshole
>I explain that I'm not into my ass getting played with
>She get legit mad
>I say that I might want to try it though, if she's into it
She hasn't responded in two days after previously responding immediately after every post
WTF wrong with women nowadays?

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>>34307865
Nah. See? She loves me.

>>34307893
Are you sure you're not being catfished

Religion sickens me so damn much. It is the one immortal blemish of mankind.

>>34307674
>I know she has a lot of work but I think it's time to accept the reality. It has been 5 days since she didn't answer to my last message. If she cared only a little about me, I think she would have text me by now
Your post reminded me yet again I ghosted someone I really like for five days years ago, I still feel awful every time I think about it. Ditto I feel awful about the racist remarks towards them, the undeserved spite and vitriol they got from me and every single other undeserved bad thing I did to them.

ughh the guy in my aa meeting is so fine #needthat

>>34308006
Ask him out but don't fall off the wagon

>>34308025
we had a small conversation yesterday, but i dont know how to say that im interested in him

>>34308031
Is it lust? Carnal desire? Or do you see yourself dating him? Just try

>>34308035
nah, hes just cute and id like to talk to him more.. maybe possibly hang out. when we do the closing prayer, we hold hands and he squeezes mine. it gets me flustered

>>34308041
He's probably into you? Do it go out. But also use protection in case you have gay sex

Things kinda suck but it's alright

I wish I had a gf to message goofy shit right now

I hate how I never grew up as a guy's, guy. When ever men or around me make comments about girls physical looks I feel creepy. even though I notice the same things in my head. Like wow shes hot she has a fat ass, she has big titties. But when its said out loud it feels rude or too far in lust.Even though thats just how guys talk right? I try to agree but i can't say anything more than say "yea shes hot" Maybe im a the real creep since in my head i notice all those things and have similar thoughts. Maybe I'm ashamed or afraid of my heterosexuality around others? I grew up sheltered and haven't had a girlfriend just lucky flings over the years. Maybe im secretly jealous
All i know is that i feel anger when those moments happen. What's wrong with me

I feel alone without them i hate how they cant affect my daily mood even when they are gone

Fell into the absolute filth of sexual sin again. Don't goon.

I have so many new health problems I just have enough, I want it all to end so bad, I can't even leave my house without feeling like shit. I think its all psychological which makes it so much worse too because there is no "cure" for any of it. I've been in and out of doctor appointments for the past 6 years and been to hospital for various tests like 3-4 times now and apparently there is nothing "wrong" with me, but I feel increasingly worse. Whats even worse is that I tried everything already, I tried therapy for a year and nothing got better, in fact I felt like I was wasting my time with it after a month. Antidepressants won't help me either, I tried all available types and only 1 did something but even at the highest dose it didn't make much difference. I tried alternative medicines, supplements, exercise, diets, I even forced myself to get a job but only managed to last 2 years before anxiety got the better of me and I started getting so many panic attacks I had to quit. Now I'm 31, unemployed, living with my parents and living off of my savings, I have no gf, no house, no job, no future prospects, the future terrifies me because I can't hold onto anything, its just too much. I keep trying and things just keep getting worse. I feel so behind in life and no matter what I try to do it doesn't work. I honestly just want it all to end, I don't think its gonna get any better and right now I'm in a position where I can't do anything and I feel like shit all the time. Noone understands it either so it just looks like I'm a lazy NEET that doesn't want to go to work and stabilize his life, but I tried and I just can't do it. What if I never get better? I can't live like this...

I'm tired of the current world state, the hivemind that is cultural media and all that, games, anime, everything is being toned down because some people just want every cake in the goddamn shop to be their taste

This is because of a goon gacha game, but I truly hate extremist people forcing everyone to be like them or some stupid ideal, when did we go wrong? When is having different tastes turn out to be so bad? Into everything should be for everyone to enjoy? I truly hate that stuff I used to like and still like be suddenly be shamed upon, when it was just ignored... Media, Games, Anime, Manga going mainstream and "reaching a greater audience" was the worst thing it could happen ever... I'm just... Sad... Can I just enjoy stuff without being censored or shut down because someone complained?

gn adv

>>34308829
Goodnight. Funny, this morning you're going to sleep almost at the same time I woke up.

I'll try to stay off from this place for a few days. See you later, or farewell if anything happens in the meanwhile.

>>34308907
If I don't come back, I just wanted to say it's been nice to know you all.

That's the plan after

I am continually astounded by the sheer idiocy of people.

I really try not to have too high an opinion of myself but everyone I meet is just...dumb.

Start a new job on Monday. It’s good that I won’t have to rely on my wife + government gibs but I will miss being able to chill or focus on my hobbies. Then again, the purpose and general self satisfaction from being employed is something I miss

Finally stopped fapping and focus all that sexual energy onto my girl. Love her but I feel like a genuine caveman when we can’t have sex (like when she’s sick or struggling with her period). Not her fault but the temptation to jerk off to multiple porn vids is omnipresent (especially since its hard for me to stop at just one wank)

Telling me that this is beyond my control.
That all I need is sharp thinking and open honest dialogue, with firm boundaries, and articulation flow.
My wish will find its way to me by any hand.
We do have means to celebrate this marriage.
It's a miracle.

>Met a girl recently
>One day meet up with her outside for a semi surprise kind of date, her family happened to be in the vicinity and she left them to spend time with me
>Have an argument in public over some stupid shit
>She gets pissed and starts crying, runs away
>Getting some awkward looks from strangers, decide to follow her
>Find her being harassed by a couple of guys, try to intervene, it's hero time
>We throw hands, I get my ass handed to me, but I get a few good hits in
>All this time she is just yelling and in the end calls me an idiot
>Feel betrayed and cucked
>Turns out the guys are her brothers
>Their parents show up and give me the look of death when they find out what is happening
>tfw I realise I'm a retard
>We broke up not long after
I want to fucking tie a brick around my neck and sink my sorry ass into the ocean

No matter what, I will marry Maria. Some way somehow

>>34304732
I shut down all the county schools by having a range day on my legal home gun range. People in the area are changing and I guess called it in freaking out. Cops decided to be dicks to me like I had done something wrong... So wrong I didn't even get a legal warning, again because it was perfectly legal. Now my family is acting like I'm an asshole, I really do not give a single shit and feel like if I tell people they are being massive boot licking pussies it will only cause actual family problems.
Anyway what I need to get off my chest is fuck all them niggas I didn't do anything wrong and anyone who is afraid is a coward who should be put in cower as it is in their nature.

>>34309075

if you explained them your pov but they still being a dick abt it, then you have all the rights to be upset. but hey, you dodged a bullet there. all you wanted to do was to safe her. you deserve better anon :)

it's over.

>have great orgasm
>Instantly horny again 20 minutes later
If I was going to be horny like a man all the time why can't it be easy for me to cum like a man?

>>34304874
You have npd seek counseling

>>34309147
I mean even for dudes it's only really easy the first time after that shit gets a bit num.

Maria, Talking to you on discord today about breading you felt just perfect

>>34309156
I genuinely wish you would kill yourself.

>>34309155
I want to go no fap to break my low key porn addiction but I'm afraid I'll be so horny I won't be able to focus. Just the other day I was really horny but trying to play a video game and just couldn't fuckinh concentrate.
I'm hoping with gym/walks/hobbies/meditation I can will it away but I do not know. I am so fucking horny it's exhausting. I wish I could get dicked down fifty times a day right now.

>>34309160
Mind your own business. We had a really good time together

>>34309164
It's a problem that will just fix itself as you get older. Enjoy it while it lasts.

>>34309164
I got off porn through an extended food fast. I'm eating again, I'll see how long it lasts. But I'm well over a month off that shit.
You got this

I'll dick my Maria down at least 50 times a day.

>>34309168
You're posting on a public forum you cringe ass nigger

>>34309171
Hasn't been getting an easier for me???? I'm 32
>>34309179
Interesting. I think meditation is truly my only way, thanks friend. Are you trying to never look at it again? I want to get to the point where I don't need it/watch it but maybe look every once in a while? Idk sounds like cope now that I wrote it all out.

>>34309188
Yeah getting it off my chest bro.

>>34309115
There's no coming back from that, her family's first impression of him is a drooling retard that was assaulting their sister. No one was entirely right or wrong, some things are just not meant to be. Best of luck to retard anon next girl.

>>34309192
I'm ok. With drinking some but porn has no upsides. Want to be off it forever.

Figured out the words I will use. Going to sleep on that. Give it September without a word and you'll get those words anyways cause it'll be closure like a collector. If you pass from no fault other than your own even more hilarious and pathetic.

Sobering made me realize I shouldn't of intervened and laughed to the bank about it. The offer was made and two petulant children LARPing as adults made it even funnier. My year, not yours now and I stand right by myself because I've been right except involving myself with retards. No more. Absurd part was you talking down with zero physical agency to have it blow up in your face as you couldn't sell yourself on your own bullshit.

Do you sleep facing up? It'll be more poetic like Shakespeare. Besides, the last I could feel sorry for. For you at best a post mortem will turn into my new pissing stop up north. Make sure they put a tree in, it'd be unfair to piss on a wall of others ashes so don't opt for cremation or I must piss on others by association.

The question is: since it’s water, was it meant to represent my darkness and give it a symbol? My unconscious self made awake?

>>34309424
it wasn't made with deliberate symbolism but intuition, so whatever your intuition tells you, is the symbolic communication

>>34309437
Thank you, for everything

>>34309439
<3

>>34309424
Not necessarily, you will see in time what it is naturally

>>34309472
shur up

>>34309423
Whats the tea

never tell the truth to a woman if she asks for it, it only makes things worse

I'm such a fucking loser. I'm staying over at my friends and seeing them exercise makes me feel so fucking bad and guilty about being sedentary I actually start feeling physically ill. BMI 20 btw, I'm not even fat, just in bad shape. But it makes me feel guilty and disgusting because I'm a fucking loserrrrr

>>34304732
>Fucks
What is tripping me up, besides I ain’t here 24/7, is that the bump limit is too darn low. It sinks faster than evidently we can keep up with.

I could really use a bump limit around 375..

>>34309202
He didn't even assault you retarded misandrist

The only thing I want is a woman that's smart enough and has enough self esteem that she would not fall for the tricks of deceptive manipulative losers in this world and destroy our relationship over it
Loyalty is greater than gold

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Thinking back to all the times I couldve had sex but fucked it up last minute.
Im not even deluding myself, there really were opportunities.

>>34309423
You sound like a bitch

>>34309695
I used to wish for a bf/husband like you. It's too late.

I really hate myself. Not in a sympathy baiting poor me kind of way, more like it's just true and it's the hardest pill i had to swallow in my life. I'm the most pathetic and inconsequential person on the face of the planet.

I'm ugly on the inside and the outside, I feel like I was meant to be alone and separate from everybody else. My conception was a mistake, my father hated me because of it. He never wanted me and me made sure I knew it.

Every girlfriend I've ever had burned me. My very first set me up to get jumped because she was just bored and annoyed with me, at a stage in our relationship where we weren't even really talking and were done with each other. She went out of her way to bring me out to some party in the middle of nowhere that I didn't even ask to go to.

Every woman after her has cheated on me, and maybe even the first as well. Not once has a person had the basic respect to just tell me to fuck off or kick rocks, they string me along while fucking better men behind my back, for whatever reason I don't know, some kind of schadenfreude esque satisfaction I'm sure.

All of my closest friends have burned me. Some stole, some would spread rumors and gossip, largely they were all "friends" to my face and enemies behind my back, and I feel like for the most part I've only ever been tolerated by people at most.

I've been alone for over 10 years now, I cut everybody off out of my life and focused on work. I hate it, but I know exactly what I can expect from people. The way I am now, I'm so cynical and bitter and jaded that sympathies just sound like empty platitudes, they piss me off because im not like everybody else, I'm not a human in the same way everybody else is.

>you're not alone in feeling like this

Great. So somewhere in someplace I'll never visit, some person whom I'll never
meet has had a similar life and feels similar to me. How does that change anything for me?

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>It's my day off
>Nice day outside
>Homie doesn't wanna hang out because he's unemployed, thinks not having money makes him less of a man
>Can't hang out with my FWB, her BD's at her house visiting their kid, probably using that as an excuse to have a place to crash because he's an irresponsible schizo
>Girl I've been intrested in won't respond to my texts despite us reconciling and saying she missed me
I hate humans.

>>34309923
Are you 40 or something

>>34309974
No

Nuclear hellfire to glorified slave systems? Yes please!

I'm determined to commit sudoku from here to 5 years. The final arc begins.

Finally got hot as a dude (lost some weight, groomed better, got a better wardrobe) and the amount of women approaching me or flirting randomly has been hard not to notice. I’m in a relationship and don’t plan to stray (helps that we have good sex and I trust that she’s loyal and genuine). Still, have mild regret for not being more attractive earlier on and plowing a few more chicks when I still had the free time. At least I’m confident now and won’t have any issues if things ever go south

bought a shirt and I'm too nervous to wear it

do you think I should come out with it and bring up the topic of women with my Councillor? I was kind of hoping he would bring it up. we've been tip-toeing around this for weeks.

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>>34304732
I'm sick of explaining myself to people but feeling obligated to do so because I want to be honest.
All people do is never actually listen to what you say, they just pick it apart to bolster their presupposition about you. There's no real committment by most people to the truth, they're just self-serving shitheads.

I have nothing to offer anyone.

I'm physically weak, I'm not funny, I'm not rich, I haven't had any life experiences, I'm not good looking, I'm not smart, I'm not charismatic, I'm not talented in any way

I'm just a complete nonentity

i went bald very prematurely and retreated from life to live online because i saw the writing on the wall
now in my online spaces i see retarded women casually use it as a tease in public like "teehee i hope you go bald!"
there is no escape

forgot to add
>watch tv show
>the only bald guy in it is also the only bad guy

>>34304732
Worked out, looked for work, keep trying to play some games to kill some time and wind down, but I just... I feel miserable I guess?
Got a high end PC and all I want to do is play PS2 games, I want a GF to smother whatever feelings I had for my last flame, I want to... and this is the strangest thing, post a new PFP on Facebook after some 10 years of not using it? It's hard to put into words why that would even be a good idea, sort of want to make a joke of it, let people know I'm still alive, try to look my best, and say see you next decade.

I wish I wasn't a such a basket case.

Im alone and i feel uneasy all i can think of is her it has been a year and i still tear up i hate this

Today was a good day. Might get drunk this weekend.

>>34304732
i hate women
i hate women
i hate women so much its unreal
can't find a way to cope with this feal
dumb tattoos and rape fantasies
chasing chad to fuck their pussies
i hate women
i hate women

>>34310507
It's kind of funny though. People accuse me of "balding", when I was balding 15 years ago, and am just bald at this point.

Humans are such a beautiful thing and I love them.
I hope we dont destroy ourselves. Just hold out a little longer

>>34309695
That's what I want of m not to be decieved by c. Lost 5ish years because of him lying and manipulating her.

>>34310714
Humans are fucking trash and I hate them.
I hope you all fucking die.

>>34310714
Same.

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How do people figure out what career they want to do for a living? I keep rotating from HVAC to IT Technician and it's very annoying. I'm 23 years old currently so time really isn't a problem here but I gotta pursue in something. Then there's also a part of me who wants a nice social life a long with a comfy "work my hours then go home" pattern. I hate inconsistent shifts. Please help adv.

there's nothing for me on this planet truthfully

Fight the future.

>>34310770
you can start by doing us a favor and going first

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Not sure whether to be insane or not. Prayer is probably the way.

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I feel like going crazy but in a good way. Just don't know in what direction to do it.

>>34311013
simple, start exclusively doing what you feel like doing and let everything crash and burn around you if thats the result of you doing that

Went insane the other night and shouted at my parents and just acted horrible. I blamed my mom's side of the family for me being such a fuckup, said id be happier if every single family member I had vanished off the face of the earth, told them I hate them both, probably mentioned killing myself like 30 times among other shit I'm sure I said. I don't agree with the notion that my mom's side of the family and the genes there are responsible for me being as mentally ill as I am, it feels like I'm taking agency away from myself big time. I would be far happier if I had absolutely no family at all, id rather be rotting in the street right now and I still plan on killing myself. And while I have no objective reason to hate either I still don't want to talk to either of them if I don't have to and I hate lying to them telling them I love them.

I have no idea what to do. I don't feel like apologizing because I'm so fucking goddamn sick for apologizing for everything in life and I felt what I said at the time.

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>>34311069
I don't know what you have in mind, but I'm just going to take the perpetual flux pill. I can't be bothered with minding nonsense right now. If I learn something and become proficient I can try to find something to go machine mode on and then channel my insanity. I'll get nuts l8r.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NriOZ6ofj_Q

Fuck me, it feels like the concepts of good and evil have been raped beyond recognition. You can literally overthrow a despot and free the populace but ISRAEL did it you wouldn't support a JEW would you? What about epstein, huh?? I bet you it's about him!!!

I am so sick of this shit. It's like no one subscribes to altruism anymore, what's even the point? I'm being ostracized for not being sufficiently racist. Every time I go online it feels like I'm surrounded by horrible people. It wasn't like this in 2012
The concept of good exists only to be devoured by cynicism or to be secretly evil itself (because it makes evil people uncomfortable), It's like I live in modern day sodom.

Wish I could turn back time and make better choices mostly for my family, my pet and myself and even the people in my past.

It's going to be a long month

One hour closer on Sunday at the cost of my sleep schedule.

>>34304732
I regret going into construction management instead of following my dreams and learning to weld. Every GC I've worked for has awful scheduling and never communicates with new members. The journeymen think we have soft hands. My coworkers wear their comfortable shoes to the office and temporarily change into steel toe boots for the once-every-two-days jobsite visit. Kinda stinks when they leave their usual shoes around, literally.

Starting to think you either pursue your interests or abandon them altogether. Compromise made it worse for me.

I 've been having migraines for the last year and they just switched me to a new medicine. Apparently its an anti-psychotic which concerns me becasue I smoke weed and am unwilling to stop.
Will it have a bad side effect? Will I stop loving my waifu?

>>34311391
It's never too late to go into welding. Buy one of those nose things so you smell the stinky smell

I don't know why I hurt myself as willingly as I do, but I keep returning to the same pain over and over again. I wish I never met her, but I wish I was something to her. I wish I could just admit to myself what I'm hiding from myself to finally rid myself of the memory of her. It's so fucked up how I got here. I'm obsessed with someone who doesn't care about me at all, and I keep willingly returning to the same pain. I'm a fucking fool.

>>34311441
Same but it's a him. Guess have to learn to let go. Don't become like what's his face.

I can’t stand all the negativity on the internet

>>34311452
I think you can take it, but also take a break. Meditate. Have a longer shower. Practice an instrument with just like a little youtube on at the beginning of your lesson. Stuff like that.

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Daily reminder that you are loved.

>>34311484
Thank you, I needed this after realizing my job was pointless and never respected me.

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>>34311491
You’re welcome :3

the guy i miss is posting his discord all over soc and i'm tempted to add him back but i will be strong and resist

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I dont like living

I'm sorry, Dave.

I have NF1 and I think it's getting worse but I haven't said anything to anyone yet, I probably got like 5 years tops with the way my health is going, but it feels like such a relief which I find strange.

I want to make a story about a male maine coon cat who used to be a barn cat and is now a grifter outlaw.

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>>34304732
Met this girl on fet through her Dom and she is a total slut in the sense that she has multiple sex friends and has had several open relationships and even more whore stories like the day she went to a party full of dudes as the only girl and got fingered, fucked, had threesomes there the whole night. Then comes me, we meet a few times and the sex is literally the best I've ever had, she tells me about her her dreams, her family, her writing career and long story short I fall in love. The relationship shifts as she now requires me to pay to meet her, which I do several times. This obviously puts me in a cuck position I tell her I might see her less because I'm starting to have feelings for her, she says she understands but that there are no feelings here but I have to continue paying as she needs the money, she says she couldn't travel this year, I feel bad for her I tell myself it's ok. We continue meeting for a while and after we had sex she talks to me about how she fucked one of her friends she met earlier that day I'm unnerved because I view myself as bottom feeder. She says that she has multiple arrangements like that, that she values our time together and I reluctantly believe her. We meet again last week we have an orgasm at the same time, we kiss passionately, we talk and I tell her this might be the last time we meet she says it's ok that she will be there when I change my mind. Days pass, I miss her and I text her to organise a meet she says yes then later cancels, I ask why she says she had a busy day. Later I see she posted a threesome she had with her friend and another guy and I just lose it. Now I'm here laughing at the absurdity of it all, wondering why I always love things that are not meant for me l. Stay safe out there anons and keep your hearts easy.

>>34311426
Thank you anon, unfortunately the apprenticeship applications are always filled. Wish I had made this decision earlier

I want to believe the past was real. Honestly, I've lost my fucking mind over this. The atmosphere makes it hard to speak to you. Nervous, flighty. Fuck! I found a box of old shitty rambles and I was so fucking dense. You knifed me and it hurt, granted you were spewing some truth, some things are beyond one's control. There are no safe spaces anymore. Caffeine and a hard conversation, vinyl and a destination. Again fuck I'm dense and you are not fooling anyone sir. I hope they are glueing your pieces together. 333

Tomorrow will be difficult but I will try to do better, it can be a great day if I put in some effort, I will try to make a good day out if it

Superior court judge told me that they refuse to provide even their opinion on the photographs of several people posing as derek if I don’t take a drug and alcohol assessment and write an essay on capgras syndrome which I will not be doing either of and I let them know this. Not sure what they are doing but it doesn’t make sense.

Not really a /gioyc/ but reconciling wanting her back really badly yet knowing that you broke up for a reason in the first place kind of hurts bros

I've started having dreams again and I've not liked a single one I've had recently.
I had a dream about her, we kissed we made up, you could see the guilt in her eyes, she wanted me again.
Only for that to be pulled away from me, she tries to break up from her boyfriend and she's with some Doakes looking man, forces her to delete everything of me, take everything back and stay with him(?)
I think I need to let her go yesterday, having a borderline ntr dream is not what I want to be having

>>34312028
> she's with some Doakes looking man
Kek

>>34312088
I wish I was joking kek. Surprised I didn't have a full blown surprise mother fucker moment.
But it's weird that I'm getting my strength back but clearly, mentally I see myself as a complete bottom feeder

love, in its gentlest form, can still be all-consuming

>>34311682
she is a prostitute and you are a degenerate.

>>34311929
They all suck. Impregnate the next one you get. It doesn’t make any difference. The best are the best liars.

I love you m
-m

Message to the time traveler.
You know me in a distant future, you look for me in the past.
Suddenly you wake and see me, you recognize my face, you don't know how or where I'm from. We were best friends, from another time, I remember you. Come and find me again, look for me once more.

>>34312425
You know I care for you m, like you mentioned, I'm ready when you are
-m

>>34312451
it ain't u bud

>>34312452
I am hers as she is mine. Only each other.
-m

Plus I have the messages from her that say otherwise
-m

>>34312460
>>34312458
>>34312451
>>34312361
stop spamming

>>34312466
I see how could have been reduced to the one post to her, the response from her, and the argument against the asshat. But still that is three posts and I did four. So you are overreacting
Calm your tits.

>>34312480
Nope

>>34304732
I'm so tired of normie forced small talk and half truthed sarcasm. Yes my business coat is dusty, maybe my company should have given me more than just the one. But I'm not gonna tell you that shit, huh? I'm just gonna stand there waiting for the interaction to be over. What's wrong with going with the flow, who cares if you think I'm a pushover? I get shit done on my own terms, which, will be at a pace I decide.

>>34312490
Ok recognize you are over reacting and don't calm your tits.

>>34304732
can someone explain to me the difference between anime and child porn?

>>34312575
anime porn is not real and has no basis in reality but rather an idea or a simulation of a situation or entity
see pee is real and objectively disgusting and on the level of rping a small animal completely unaware and helpless
the kicker here is that there's no such thing as porn that's good for you

>be me
>december last year
>mom dies suddenly
>she had multiple health problems
>refused to see a doctor or stay in the hospital
>too embarrassed to tell her frieds or siblings
>sometimes even caught myself hoping it would just happen already
>she dies
>expect to feel sad
>instead feel relief
>everyone outside thought she was nice and selfless
>reality was she was verbally abusive, stubborn, and entitled
>spent years bottling up resentment and hatred
>probably the source of unresolved trauma
>lowkey kind of glad my mom died
>mfw her death felt more like freedom than loss

>>34312782
Damn that sucks anon

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Found out today that it is emotionally easier to schedule a crown filling for my tooth than it is to schedule help from my bulimia. I'm really nuts, aren't I? Totally off the deep end.

>>34312575
Anime is japanese

This for me is complete, faulty trash and has always been.

Entirely fabricated shit, only lies.

Something is off today
I never want to see you again, but are you safe?

Was anyone here homeschooled? Any experiences and your steps to recovery? How was the adjustment period and the challenges you faced in a conventional school environment. Could be in high school/uni.

I miss video games.

play mahoyoru

i made out with and have a crush on a girl who is very depressed. it's often times not easy seeing her or hearing from her. i hope she gets better soon. i really do. she is such a cool person.

I want to play one of the yugioh games on steam after this youtube channel reminded me yugioh exists.

This life is entirely the worst trash.

I am terrified

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>>34305605
Dated an ex, DO NOT DO IT. It will fail, and any chance of feeling something for another women will be gone forever. I have dated a dozen women since, and for each one I feel nothing - not when they’re there, and not when they leave. Wait until she breaks up with you again, and starts dating another guy, lol. Find someone new anon.

The fuck do I care about your stupid choices - I have to suffer because apparently you owe something to a random person from 2 years ago. That’s the treatment I apparently deserve after all I’ve done for you

>>34308116
Dead, that would be best gf.

It's been a year since I stopped letting you come over to hang out C and my stress levels have gone down considerably please never ask again playing video games with you is not fun