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Fuck the demiurge. When I escape from this prison realm, I shall be reunited with my people. Then, one day I will return to destroy this world (kind of like griefing a Minecraft server).

That is all.

>>77118605
I feel like I’m losing my shit out of nowhere. I’m dwelling on everything. I’m finding myself dwelling on shitty friends who treated me awful, exes, girls I was in love with who I never dated.
And I understand none of this does any good.
>friends
7th grade made a friend, his pillpopping housewife mom realized her oldest son got him into smoking weed but to cope she blamed me (didn’t smoke until years later) convinced him I was his enemy so he hated me. Spread lies and spent HS trying to get me expelled. Ran into him in 20s and same shit, just total bitchy attitude. Ran into a friend from middle/HS few years ago we were both fishing at a lake, he invited me to fish on his boat with him. He mentioned that other guy would probably be there so I didn’t go. I want to be that guys friend, he’s a cool guy I used to hang with him a bit too in middle school. Same interests same job field. But I see him posting stories with that old friend and Im not gonna go hang with someone who for reasons I cannot explain hates me and seeks to harm me in various ways
>exes
was never in love with any of them but I always cared deeply about them. Been thinking about them. They were mostly just sex which is why it ended. I didn’t like them that much unless I was inside them. But all ended bad
>girl I never dated
This one stung. We met in college. Last we spoke she got me a book on runes, wanted to hang to give it to me. Never happened. She moved away. Saw a page from that book today, it was about birth month and time correlation. My months time was her nickname. I wanted to cry. Looking back on the videos many texts and pics this girl fucking loved me


Idk why the fuck I care. All of this is keeping me up. None of it matters.
>exes
That ain’t my bitch
>that one girl
That ain’t my bitch or even one I’ve ever fucked
>friends
Those aren’t friends
So literally why is this shit on my mind none of it matters. I was so productive today I kept busy and yet here I am

>>77118626
Idk if I’m lonely or if I haven’t been productive enough or both or what the deal is.
>girl I never dated
Not time but rune* my months rune was her nickname. These days she lives I another state and I think she got married to my literal doppleganger.
I know I wrote a lot, but I guess TL;DR how the fuck do I stop thinking about this shit and these people who don’t matter and move forward? I know if I do the right stuff I will make new friends, that I will meet new and better women. Fuck it really is because I’m alone right now. I guess I just have to take it on the chin and stomach these shit feels and do the work until it pays off.

i'm in dead bedroom marriage and i think it gave me ED and PE due to substituting with porn

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>>77118605
>coworker asked me if I ever had a pregnancy scare
I guess I should be flattered that I appear normal enough for a normie to think that, but at the same time it is embarassing at my age to admit "no, in fact I never even had sex with a girl" (i didnt say the last part)

But honestly, imagining him naked (he's fat) and his fat girlfriend going at it like elephant seals in heat kind of turned me off from the whole idea of sex. Don't get me wrong I'm no prude, I like looking at tits and asses, but the way he talked about it so nonchalantly made it seem so vulgar and disgusting.

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Was supposed to do something with a woman today, she tried totally changing the plan, so I canceled. Now she wants to do it next weekend instead. Idk bros

>>77118605
Vodka cranberry pls.
Just got my dick sucked by a fat girl with huge tits and big lips. Feelsbad I could have put in a tiny bit of effort and got a hot girl but damn its way too easy sending a dick pic to a chub and she immediately wants to worship it.

Labatt and a shot of vodka
I hosed one of my midterms so fucking bad dude. I'm still gonna pass if I keep my head up about it, but I will not be doing well in this class...
Rest of em` are fine at least.

I NEED a pale busty gf bros

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>>77118605
I believe I've disproven the bbc myth, or more to say, the 'built for bbc' myth. Because you see, if a woman is being built for anything that implies intelligent design. And clearly Gods intelligent design is for the best matches to be their own kind. Did Adam not say "Here at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh."
Now we must remember that in logic we can speak generically and of instances. There may be some instances where race mixing is God's design. But it is necessarily rare. Because otherwise the race wouldn't survive. And doesn't God love every colour and race hmmm. Indeed he does.

>>77118691
I'd hope you have, but have you talked to her about it? Cut out the porn. Jerking off isn't bad for you, as long as it doesn't exceed once a day I guess, but porn is just bad for you. You can't really fuck as it stands right now anyway, but clearly there's an issue somewhere.

I'm done with women boys, finally.

>>77118605
Sex on the beach barkeep
I'm working through shit with my wife, sex has been getting way better and I'm coming out of my depression. Its pretty interesting seeing her get more comfortable, she's been an avoidant for most of her life because she associates sex with humiliation and/or pain, but she's been doing her therapy and I've been doing my best to help her feel safe and like I'm not going to belittle her at all. I do have to get more creative, she's said that she does want to do more roleplay and power dynamic stuff but that she's just not good at actually planning so she wants he to essentially tsje her rough outline and turn in a script for approval or direction. She wants to be dominant but also doesn't know how to to that without sounding or feeling stupid so I've gotta write out how she can dominate me without taking it to a place either of us are uncomfortable with and likewise write out shit for me to to to her. I've had all these fantasies for years but all the sudden I feel blank. She also has said she DOES like public sex, but hates the idea of being seen or watched. She confessed last time we were clothes shopping she got really turned on by the idea of having sex in the dressing room but didn't say anything for fear we'd get caught and go in the registry. I said we could compromise and just do foreplay in the dressing room and continue at home, but I've gotta think of others ways I can meet that "in public but no people around" spot.

doing karate, jiu jitsu and judo all of them twice a week
got back to lifting
i'm still void
wish i could feel anything
bored out of my mind
no obesession, no particular interest, very bored...

>>77119074
i have, multiple times and quite sternly too. we have kids and parenting takes a toll but others figure it out and i insisted that so should we. however it's always a different excuse - stress, tired, no time, sick, money problems etc.
she has become much less physical over time to a point that we don't even "keep in touch" with our hands or feet. whenever sex happens (once every 2-3 months), i always initiate and feel like she's doing me a favor etc. so i assume she's either extremely low libido now or is genuinely not attracted to me anymore. this is driving me fucking nuts because i started looking escorts and almost "fantasizing" what life will be like if we'd get a divorce.
>cut out the porn
already have for a month+, fapping once every 5 days to a photo of a local escort lol, but it's messing with morning wood so i think i'll increase the frequency. also i never did cardio so that's probably a good idea

>>77119210
>don't even "keep in touch" with our hands or feet
while sleeping at night that is, which was at the very least standard few years ago
> started looking escorts
looking UP escorts, not seeing them

>>77119074
>>77119210
You cannot talk your way back into sex.

>>77118605
Ethanol is toxic in any amount.

>>77119231
i don't want to rape my way back into sex but my current strat is to get so ripped that i start getting vulgarly mired in public to make her feel like she has to compete.
i don't want to put my kids through divorcing parents man, that shit changed me for the worst when my parents divorced

Interview on Wednesday for a job i really want, the pre interview panic has fully set in. Fuck i hate this feeling.

>>77119231
He can at least get to the root of the problem and figure out if this is something that he can fix. If this is something that he's done, that he needs to actually resolve with her. If it's a legitimate conflict, if it's something that she needs support and help with, or if it's just completely all fucked up and gay. I would say it's all fucked up and gay. But you can definitely communicate with your partner back into sex.
>>77119210
>>77119212
You sound genuinely fucked here, like genuinely fucked. I think what you need to do is just outright say that you are going to marriage counseling with someone specializing in sex therapy, and if she says no, you say "alright, then we're done, because you're not treating me the way a wife is supposed to treat her husband, and if I was treating you this way, you would not accept it. No way, no how. This is unfair to me, and the least you can do before we divorce is try a counselor who specializes in these issues."

>>77119379
taken from Theodoore Roosevelts autobiography, it always soothes me:
>"Having been a rather sickly and awkward boy, I was, as a young man, at the first both nervous and distrustful of my own prowess. I had to train myself painfully and laboriously not merely as regards my body but as regards my soul and spirit.

>"When a boy I read a passage in one of Marryat's books [Frederik Marryat, British naval officer and writer (1792-1848)] which always impressed me. In this passage, the captain of some small British man-of-war is explaining to the hero how to acquire the quality of fearlessness.

>He says that at the outset almost every man is frightened when he goes into action, but that the course to follow is for the man to keep such a grip on himself that he can act just as if he were not frightened. After this is kept up long enough, it changes from pretense to reality, and the man does in very fact become fearless by sheer dint of practicing fearlessness when he does not feel it.

>"This was the theory upon which I went. There were all kinds of things of which I was afraid at first, ranging from grizzly bears to 'mean' horses and gunfighters; but by acting as if I were not afraid I gradually ceased to be afraid. Most men can have the same experience if they choose."

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Had a stuffy nose since late December, went to the doctor 2 weeks ago, severe fungal infection (to the point where the septum was deformed and shoved to the left) - nose had to be broken to drain the sinuses
I'm in agony, my nose is swollen and I have been mouth breathing since Wednesday and I can't even get any sleep

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>>77118605
>January
>On plane home
>4/10 girl I'm sitting next to is flirting with me
>Go along with it because holy shit the self-esteem boost feels amazing
>Hanging out with her in baggage claim
>Figure I could fuck her pretty easily
>Don't really feel like it because I, coincidentally, got laid for the first time in over a year (by a small emo chick btw) a few days prior and was still riding that high
>Give her a hug and say bye

>Fast forward to present day
holy shit I AM SO HORNY AND LONELY I WOULD ABSOLUTELY FUCK A 4/10 RIGHT NOW, HELL I'D FUCK A 3 AND EVEN ADMIT TO IT AFTERWARD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay time for bed

>>77119254
That won't fix it. Surely she must know she's in competition and losing. If she's not fucking you, who is? If your parent's divorce was that bad, just don't do what they did wrong. You don't deserve to stay with such a bitch and your kids should see you both move on to happier, healthier relationships.

>>77119427
HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN?!

>>77119438
nasal doctor believes a tooth issue, I don't believe that since I don't have issues with my teeth, no cavities, no fillings and no pain
I will go to a dentist on Monday just in case with the xrays and CT scans
I felt nothing other than the stuffy nose, this was the bizarre bit

>been over a month since qt broke up with me
>still pretty gutted about it
>really wanted this one to work out
>decide to accelerate my weight loss in the vain hope that the next qt will want to stay, or this qt might come back by doing a three-day fast
>have a rebound after the fast by eating a whole heap of junk food and putting on 5kg
>tendon in my left forearm is kinda sore
I've had better weeks, but oh well, back into it next week. Still, that I managed to pull a top-tier qt even if it was only for a couple of days while still obese probably bodes well for my chances at an actually decent weight.

>>77118605
I had a really weird experience this morning and I’m also pissed off about it
>be sick last few weeks, nothing major worst of it started on my weekend
>first day I feel 100% better, decide to make most of day
>go watch sunrise, enjoy the weather and being around people
>go to grocery store for breakfast
>looking for one more item some 90 year old kike starts sneezing
>one huge sneeze every 30 seconds goes on for 5 minutes straight
>bumbling idiot jew (redundant) is just walking around like it’s normal not even covering his nose not even making an attempt to turn head away from people
>he’s going at a snail pace but somehow keeps popping up ahead of me wherever I’m trying to go shop sneezing all over everything
>legit is in aisle 5 so I rush over to aisle 10 and he’s already there
>say fuck it, go to checkout, beeline for the register while he’s on the exact opposite side of store
>get to self checkout
>ACHOOOOOO
>he’s right fucking next to me facing me
>just stare in disbelief
>doesn’t even notice me
>too pissed to think straight just finish paying and storm out, should have replaced my products just wiped all down with disinfectant wipes and then washed in sink
I think the one thing I’ve learned I cannot stand is people with zero spatial and social and self awareness. Zero awareness in general. And yea btw, someone knowing what they’re doing and just ngaf is a lack of self awareness. Only people doing shitty things purely to be malicious are self aware. This old asshole knew better at his old age. Not even an attempt to turn his head for fucks sake. If I get sick again I am going to lose it.

I tried manually stretching my dick a week ago and now I don't get as hard erections. Oops

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>>77119525
>manually stretching my dick

>>77119551
Yeah man, manual exercises to get it a little longer. I'm sure it'll bounce back. Probably

>>77119433
Kek

I miss being NEET cos I was able to hit the gym whenever I wanted and as much as I wanted. After getting a graveyard shift job, I wasn't able to go to the gym during the week so all my exercise for months was cardio on weekdays then gym on weekends. I bought some cheap spinlock dumbbells, weights and a bench so I could do a quick workout before work but ended up injuring myself bringing them all upstairs. I blame it on losing my strength due to not working out as much and my general retardation for trying to bring them all up the stairs at once rather than piece by piece. I'm finally at a point where I feel ready to get back into it but I'm still a bit worried my back is gonna give out again and I'll be on the shelf for another few weeks. Do as much as I can for a full body workout with just dumbbells then get ready for work. It's doable but its not as effective or as enjoyable as I'd like it to be

>>77119462
That's fucking crazy... I hope you feel better soon and they find the cause

Is there some cosmic rationale why as soon as I mention to my friends a girl I've been talking to immediately goes to shit.
It's happened three times now it can't be a coincidence. First one turned out to be a whore, second moved states, and the third ghosted me.
Are there any /x/ schizos that can explain why. Next girl I'm not going to mention to anybody and see what happens.

>>77119671
I’m not an /x/ schizo but I know exactly what you mean. This has happened with everything for me not just women. If I talk about it it doesn’t happen. If I keep my mouth shut, even better if I barely think about it, it happens and goes as good as I hoped.
I think there’s definitely something cosmic about it just by itself but I also think there’s an evil eye sort of thing where someone you’re talking about it to starts hoping it doesn’t work out of envy and that’s enough to sway the universe. It’s an energy put out there.
I also think there’s some weird mental masturbation thing going on, talking about it feels good enough like it already happened and so you don’t try as hard, you get lax, you fumble just knowing you spoke on it rather than letting it happen in real time

>>77119671
You just gotta thug it out. Show the archons that you mean business. Preferably knock her up before she can leave.

>>77119671
I never mention my love (or sex) life to my friends or family for similar reasons. Feels like whenever I mention anything going well in my life to anyone else, Sod's Law it'll blow up in my face immediately after, despite no signs warning about it beforehand. Next time, try keep it on the downlow until you're absolutely certain she's a keeper

About to be a 33 yo khv. Feel like a monster with all of my loose skin from dropping 180lbs. Pretty hyped to never feel love and die alone

>>77118605
Gimme a Mich Ultra, not much of a drinker.

Things are going well for me, IDK what to tell you. Born under a lucky star.

All the best to you guys, I mean it.

>>77119000
GIVE ME THREE SHOTS OF VODKA I PASSED

>>77119671
Kinda feel like this is happening to me, too

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Bros, I just want to be whole again, but I'm not sure exactly what is wrong with me or if it can even be treated, I've been to doctors but they could not help me too much. It's very difficult for me to relax my pelvic floor and this makes it almost impossible for me to feel like I've completely emptied my bladder, which kinda influences my whole day and fucks hard with my sleep and I also have problems with my erections, my glans and corpus spongiosum (head and underside) are far weaker in erection than the rest of my penis.
Reading around on the internet, I found out that this could be caused not by some spinal cord injury or neurological problems, like my doctors told me, but by muscle imbalances caused by masturbating for too long at one time. People recommend strengthening the ischiocavernosus muscle for this and that makes sense to me for a lot of reasons, it apparently helps keep blood in the penis, which I also have a problem with, and responds to glans stimulation which didn't happen too much when I masturbated. I also see that glans stimulation in orgasm clenches my pelvic floor so hard that cum almost does not pass through so I'm thinking it must be related to my problems.
However trying to strengthen this muscle for a short while had mixed results, it made my erections stronger, increased their regularity and almost completely stopped driblling urine and cum, however it might have also worsened my urinary symptoms, which are the most disruptive, but I'm not 100% sure that it was the IC training.
Now I don't know what to do, should I continue and risk fucking myself up even harder, or should I stop and risk staying fucked up just because I could not work through the first problems that came up? Do any of you guys have experience with these kinds of things?

>two weeks off the grind
>now back on the diet and gym
>fell in love with my friend just because she was nice to me
Sun will set, moon will rise. Eternal cycle of life...

>>77119786
Congratulations, anon

>>77118605
Does anyone conceal carry while working out? What about just going on a walk? It feels so silly but I live in a sketchy area, my morning walks are at 3am due to work schedule, and there’s all kinds of sketchy people around even at that time. A woman was killed a few weeks ago exactly on my walking path at the time I normally walk and I think it happened on a day I slept in. Should I appendix carry or cross body bag as a deterrent (most people around here know what those bags mean).
For what it’s worth I’m Jason Vorhees mode and anyone who would want to try and rob or fuck with me would most certainly have a gun or a group. In fact the few times it’s happened that’s exactly what the situations were. Group of malnourished I think ukrainians or some kind of eastern euro try to tough guy on me to peacock for the one girl in their sausage fest, crazed black skitso claims to “have something for me” when he misperceives disrespect, drunk nig with cross body bag keeps trying to start shit with randoms including me by trying to flinch people out while cursing at them, hand keeps moving to the zipper when he anticipates retaliation, etc
It’s fatiguing.. I don’t want to avoid my walks but for fucks sake I’m sick of looking over my shoulder, I’ve already started bringing a knife with me. If I could get a dog I would just do that.

Gay first world issue but I'm sick of eating more for gains. Sick of eating, super sick of cooking, I'm ready to just start fasting and say fuck it

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How do I overcome indecision and social anxiety? How do I become confident?

>>77119994
Unironically lifting.
My confidence has been creeping up as I've lost weight and put on muscle. Then get /fa/ af and you'll be surprised at how much more confident you suddenly are.

>>77119415
i'll give that a go. i genuinely love her - she's the queen of my dreams and the mother of my children and i want this to work.
>>77119436
with the work and parenting i'd find it extremely difficult to cheat just going by time management alone, so it's pretty clear to her that noone is fucking me lol

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>at my gf's house last night, she mentions someone she knows tried losing weight on an OMAD diet and failed
>I laugh and say something along the lines of how funny it is to consume so many calories in one meal that you can't lose weight with that goal in mind
>"That's not true anon, it's because of metabolism, not calories."
>This ignites a 15-minute argument where we talk circles around each other
>Turns out she was just trying to say that he was eating more than the body could process, which is what I thought I was clearly implying in the first place
>mfw

She's kinda fat so I don't always take her seriously when nutrition comes up as a subject in the first place, but this was frustrating.

>>77119996
I've been lifting for years, haven't changed. Not very /fa/ but I'm also bald and look like Shrek so don't have as much going for me

>>77119068
>Because you see, if a woman is being built for anything that implies intelligent design
sides destroyed

>>77120053
if you're bald AND fit, just dress in whatever SSS world corp sells or similar, get an eccentric pair of sunglasses from moscot and women will love you

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how do i meet women outside of the apps? i got banned on hinge but before that i could get occasional pussy/two ex gfs too.

Another weekend of loneliness essentially.
Did some kettlebell exercises in the morning and went for a hike alone after lunch, yesterday I played some football and that is was it.
I have a job and almost 40k saved, I should be able to enjoy myself but there's no one to do things with.

>>77120122
Damn, how tf do you get banned off of dating apps?

>>77118605
I’m having a really lousy time lately. I just feel down in the dumps. I feel dirty, heavy like I’m being weighed down by these feels. I can’t describe it. I feel like I’m in a hole covered in shit and sick. I mean I physically feel this way. You know that sad non cozy vibey feel when it’s gloomy and rainy out? That’s what I feel. Idk why I’m down. Maybe because I’ve been stagnant again. There was a time when I felt this way for years. Back then I would smoke weed to get past it each night otherwise I would be unable to sleep from the sadness and anger. I don’t like weed anymore it was such a bandaid for me in the past I hate it now.
I really, really, really, I really fucking need things to change. I think I’m at my breaking point again. I have to succeed. I would literally rather die while trying to fix my life than spend another day not putting work in.
Yeah. That’s my problem. I’ve been stagnant.
If all goes well I will be quitting nicotine in a few days and caffeine on Friday. I have just enough for the work week, to taper down to more moderate intakes. I think that’s the first major step here. Quit that, rebuild attention span and go up from there
>what’s your problem bro why are you sad
Probably because I’ve stagnated
>why is that an issue
Because I want to be better than I am
>why
Because I don’t want to leave this earth until I’ve BTFO my past self and all the people who have treated me poorly.
>is that all
And because I want pussy damnit I want a bitch to fuck and cuddle
>and what’s the solution
Unironcially getting ripped and making more money. Literally getting ripped and making more money would solve my problems when I had it in the past women just spawned in my life everything was great the shit feels happened at such a frequency that I could truly appreciate the great feels without feeling shitty most of the time.

>>77120122
I did at one point because I’m an autistic psychopath and thought a girl wronged me (she may have idk) so I made a profile with mug shots of the guy who killed one of her family members and set the location to her area. All I had to do was submit an appeal saying a friend used my phone to make the account as a prank and how messed up it was because I really want to use the app legitimately.
I’m a piece of shit fuck.

>>77119915
>A woman was killed a few weeks ago exactly on my walking path at the time I normally walk
Mate if that isn't a sign to take a different path and carry a gun regardless I don't know what is

>>77120178
Being a sub-10 male.

>>77120202
It just feels like such a weird idea to me, almost more frustrating just that this is what it has come to. It shouldn’t be like this. There was a shooting here too. You know the assbackwards part? This is a white area. Poor non whites can’t afford to live here. The shooting and recent murder were done by blacks and some kind of hispanic who don’t even live around here. I’m probably gonna go with appendix CC. For some reason I feel like making it obvious I have a gun will make me more of a target.

>>77120195
feeling very similar too, man. no compromise, no surrender

>>77120122
Go outside....

>>77120178
said glory to xi jinping to some asian chick
>>77120241
where outside?

>>77118605
It's been like 5 years since I took proper time off work, like going on a trip and shit and not just staying home "resting". I timed it with a long national holiday so I'd have around 4 full days away and got perfectly timed bus tickets so I travel by night not wasting any time.
Then out of nowhere the fucking sister of one of my best friends says "we're organizing a party for him cause he's getting married" and it's on THAT EXACT SAME LONG WEEKEND, like who the fucks organizes a party when there's a high-chance people are away on holiday?
So now I have to try and return one of the tickets, hope I get ANY money back for it, get a new ticket for Sunday which fucking sucks cause I'll spend like 6 hours of daytime on the road and lose one day, making everything more rushed and less enjoyable.
"Oh just don't go anon" I can't fucking miss it, it's a very intimate and smal thing, it's gonna be like 15 people and I can't be the only one not going to my friend's wedding party, and I know myself and I'll feel guilty as fuck and not enjoy my time off anyway.
I'm starting to believe I'm cursed, everything in my life has the worst fucking timing and I can't ever do things the way I want to, I'm just always conditioned by outside stuff I have no control over.

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>>77118605
jack and coke pl0x mr barkeep
>be me
>mom died 3 years ago
>spent the first 2 years after basically neeting
>ended up getting my associate's degree in that time but wouldn't call it proper education
>did nothing else
>burned up $70k in savings and went $12k into credit card debt
>was basically knocking on the door of homelessness
>ended up starting adderall again on a whim after not taking it in nearly a decade
>night and day, started actually looking for jobs actively instead of half-assed scrolling
>just got employed again a week ago
>job sucks but is manageable
>pays well enough that I'll be able to comfortably pay rent, climb out of debt, and have money left over
>limited hours so I'm looking into a second job as well
>exhausted but more motivated than I've been in years
>genuinely excited at the prospect of being able to afford to go out to concerts and games and shit again
nobody ever said making it was easy, but we must make it nonetheless
wagmi brahs

>>77120003
I feel that on the time management. Cheating sounds like such a hassle.

Similar situation with wife's waning libido. She'll put out dutifully if the circumstances allow, but she'd rather take a nap and she pretty much never initiates. I'm fortunately enough that she feels some guilt about it, at least.

My strategy is to just get as sexy as possible, catch all the milf mires I can at the pool this summer, and if that doesn't kickstart anything then at least I'll be able to say I tried.

>>77120519
Going to add to this, every summer the kids spend a week at a sleep away camp, and we'll typically take side of that week and go to a B&B. This always ends up being a sex marathon - she'll be in lingerie and tipsy-horny a good solid 50% of the time, and the rest of it will be spent eating fancy food.

Anyway, we missed last year's due to her work. Still had some good sex, but it wasn't the same. Was really looking forward to this year's, and age hinted about a summer plan just a few days ago. So I was thinking, hey, at least I've got that to look forward to.

Today she realized she'd failed to click accept on the camp admittance links and now we're waitlisted.

Big sad, bros. Big sad.

>>77120627
Holy typos batman. Excuse my phone posting.

I just need a job. once I get a job again, everything is stable once more and I can move on to other problems that need solving
I need MONEY

>>77120026
Why are you with her if you find her ugly?

Every time I see a story of a person committing suicide or dying young in some other way I’m filled with jealousy rather than sadness. It’s crazy to be in your mid 30s and never have the drive to achieve anything or accomplish even the most basic milestones. I’ve never done anything at all with my life and I just know now that there’s no point. You don’t make it to your mid 30s being a complete failure, rotting away the most important fundamental years of your life, and suddenly be able to flip a switch being motivated and hopeful for the future. Honestly I can’t say anything besides the fact that I am beyond help. What’s the point

>>77118998
Do you ever feel bad for the girl you used for sex?

>>77120725
They want to fuck too, anon

>>77120733
Ok fair, my follow up question is: why don’t you just try harder to get a woman you actually find hot?

Been dating this girl for 5 years. Living together for 2. She's in a real rough spot with her job (hospital lab work) not allowing her free time for anything she wants to do. It's had such a negative impact that it's starting to impact me and my life. We've basically become what feels like roommates who sleep in the same bed. I can't tell if I should call it quits or stick around for her to transition into a field where she can have her life back. As a result of all this, I've found myself becoming attracted to one of my coworkers. Not sure what to do and how to feel about it. If it matters, I think she'll (current gf) be a great wife and mother some day.

>>77120764
Let her be free of you and find someone else so you can go after your coworker.

>>77120771
The only thing holding me back from that is if there is a way of salvaging what I already have then I'd rather do that. The girl I'm with is great in a bunch of ways. We've talked a lot about her leaving her job. I'm just scared that things won't actually change when that happens

>>77120786
Bro if one obstacle is already making you question your relationship and causing you to become attracted to your coworker then imagine what would happen the next time you guys face another obstacle lol

>>77120764
I think you should stick it out. rough spots are temporary, and building that trust and loyalty is worth way more than swapping her out for someone else
maybe she can find a better job, or things will get better for her. you should give her all the support you can and face that uncertainty together

When I was 19/20 or so and starting University, I met a girl on my course who I clicked with. That feeling of excitement and anticipation as we got closer over time has never came back around again and I'm wondering if it ever will. I don't know how you're supposed to just go about your day pretending this doesn't bother you.

As I get older it seems there's a lot less to look forward to and particularly dating just seems bleak as fuck, best case scenario is you meet someone on an app or at work or something who you can tolerate and that's it, it's just not the same. Seems so transactional and non organic. Romantic love unironically isn't real if you didn't find each other when you were both young

>>77120764
If you give up and break up with current If you might as well never plan to ever get married and have kids. Tough times happen and sometimes they last awhile, but if the person you're with gets you on a level no one else does then you gotta stick it out. Guaranteed this coworker will have shit times, you gonna leave her too when it's done? If the lady's worth it you stick it out, then when it's over you look back together and say "that sucked right?" and become stronger together

>>77120790
My mentality towards that is basically exactly what >>77120795 said. As the length of a relationship increases, it's inevitable you reach rough spots. Giving up on somebody when you reach a rough spot means you'll never form a lasting, healthy relationship. I want a family, and the girl I'm dating can provide me a great one assuming things do turn around. I just wanted to see if other people have experienced something similar and if this could be turned around. And I think >>77120795 provided me with the motivation I needed to step up and become the more supportive man I need to be in order to make this work. Thanks guys. Really needed to hear these things I think

>>77120814
I got your back brother, seen too many people tap out when the going gets rough and they wind up worse for it. It's not worth it in the long run because things will get good and things will get shitty in any relationship. Its normal, and the best relationships I've seen are always the ones where the couple sticks by each others' side no matter what. You'll love each other more when the shitty times give way to good times, count on it

I'm starting to develop real bicep veins that pop, and I PR'd a lift recently even while on a cut, which is cool. My career is also progressing decently for the first time.
On the other hand, my social life basically doesn't exist, my relationship with my family withered even more this year, and I'm kinda losing it due to loneliness. I unironically made a profile on a gay dating site just to see how it compared to my experience using normal apps and a million dudes hit me up calling me cute within like a day, which made my total lack of success with women sting even more.
This shit sucks bros. I'm tired all the time.

>>77120467
Don't go to the Jewish party. Go on the trip.

>>77120026
>me at my gf's house
>she talks about her shit
>I am intentionally mean to her because I am a emasculated faggot
>we get into a pointless argument because of it
>after a while of back and forth we change subjects
>still mad about it, will tell /fit/
Why are you like this? Why can't you just be normal?

>company ski trip
>literally the only person within 100 attendees without a SO

we live in a humiliation torture simulator and single women do not exist

>>77119522
Well I woke up sick as hell again. New symptom that I didn’t have a week ago, green snot. It’s all starting again but feels different. Green snot, sore throat setting in headache.
I am pissed.
Fuck this old asshole literally why would I be wrong if I saw him again and decided to be a filthy nigger and snot rocket at him. I’m at the very least going to tell him he got me sick for being a disgusting prick. Okay the assault skit rocket wrong I get that, but just being a dickhead and letting him know I think he’s a stupid bitch why does that make me the bad guy it’s fucking disgusting he SNEEZED OOOOOONNNN ME

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>>77121023
How old are you anon?
I may be the same.

Its The Unc Conundrum combined with actually having a job where most people are above average socially (which I assume from your post since ski trips don't sound like a low income party).

When I was young and broke, I worked at a factory and a lot of women there were single. Now when I have a high paying tech job everyone is taken. Literally every single female here, and every male but one guy beside me. and people are relatively young 25-35, not much older than people at the shitty job. Big company too.
I did some asking and majority of them met their SO in college, some even in highschool. We're the odd ones out. My fantasy of healing a career oriented quirky chungus office lady from stress related health issues with my penis lies in shambles. What's all this money even for. Makes me feel hopeless.

I realize this requires a change of approach but still, playing my coomer vidya and complaining is easier.

>>77121080
It upsets me learning about animals who don’t get pussy. Pandas piss me off. I hate seeing people trap stray cats and having them neutered and then releasing them back that’s effectively cucking the cat so a lesser but unaltered male who he previously would have mauled can move in and take his pride of bitches
I think the one thing I wish I had millions/billions of dollars for would be animal breeding initiatives. Not just to get endangered numbers back up but so they all got some pussy. I would probably call my company Pimpin lol.

>>77120519
yep, my strat is the same. worst part in my case is that there's no guilt on her side - she feels that the lack of intimacy is completely expected and explainable and i should understand it and be accommodating. i'll give it until end of this year

>>77120487
How much does the job pay?

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Gin and Tonic please.
I'm starting to think (or lack thereof) that retardmaxxing is the only way for me to move forward in life and health. I'm an overthinker and tend to get easily irritated when things aren't working according to plan. I just need to let the go of the reins.

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>>77118610
>When I escape
Nobody tell him

>>77121080
Yeah, it is a sector where people seem to have their shit together. I am 34-years-old now. It is over for me.

I basically studied applied CS where there where maybe 2% women in my program and I have been working for ten years in the industry. Even the socially hopeless turbospergs who went to top universities probably had relationships arranged by their relatives. I come from a poor white trash background (criminals, alcoholics, junkies, you name it) and feel unbelievably out of place all the time. I work a lot and can't even go to after work beers with my co-workers since they are all family men.

>>77120003
Its worth a shot, either its salvagable with professional help or its just not. But if she loves you I can't see why shed deny help. Godspeed anon.
>>77120519
Don't just look sexy, BE sexy. Ask her what she wants, ask her if she wants anything new, say no matter what you're down. Make it clear you want to please her. Ask how you can help free up time for sex, if she's been depressed, if she wants to look into getting a babysitter for the whole day. Make sex as available as possible with whatever she could want on the table

>>77119427
I am now officially out of hospital care, all the shit they had shoved in my nose was the cause of the agony
Things are coming up Milhouse

>>77120122
I literally had a new lady checkin at work and is buying me lunch in the first week of her being there because she likes me and I won't flirt back.

>be funny
>be personable
>wear clothes that fit
>work out
>be at least 6ft
>have a decent face
>have decent hair or a decent hair style if god hates your hair line
EZ

>>77119994
Lift weights
Intentionally do things that make you uncomfortable and ramp up the level over time
Hang out with people that will point out your flaws and help you overcome them

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>>77121242
Happy recovery, Milhouse

>>77121130
$18/hr
it's not glorious but my monthly spending is relatively low

>>77120939
It's not even a "wedding" wedding like in a church and shit, they've been living together for more than 15 years and they're legally marrying (for tax and other benefits) so their family decided to throw a casual surprise party, it's more like a backyard bbq with all of our friends, that's why I'd hate being the only one missing.
I used to suffer from severe depression and always missed events and parties cause I would cancel last minute, and these people stood by my side for literal years instead of just saying "oh just don't invite anon, forget about him", they made sure I always felt included and now that I'm much better and going out normally I'd feel like a dick for missing this.
And I can't even talk about it with the guy getting married cause it's a fucking surprise, lol.

>>77121306
nta but you can carve time off from work in the future or even fuck off entirely after saving a while
conversely, some people work their entire lives without a vacation and still die in squalor
your friends sound like good ones, you're only posting here because you know the right answer but want validation for the wrong one

>>77121311
Yeah, I'm just ranting at this point cause I need to get it off my chest, I KNOW I'm gonna go to the ticket stall in 2 hours when it's open, return my ticket and buy a new one for a day after the wedding party. I know myself.
It just feels... out of my control, you know? It feels like any time I want to do something I'm conditioned by other people and I always capitulate.
And it's the timing thing that bothers me the most, this party could've been organized any other weekend, we still have like what, 42 more weekends this year? But no, both things just had to happen on the exact same day.
But thank for replying anon, the more I write about this, the more I think I sound like a big whiny baby. I just have to man up, accept that I'm gonna have to change my plans this time and maybe plan some other little getaway during the year. It's not even because of a bad thing, I'm gonna be eating burgers and drinking beers with my friends during a very special occasion.

I haven't been to the gym in months due to laziness and constant flu.
My gains have plummeted. At least my fat has gone away too.

>>77121278
>Hang out with people that will point out your flaws and help you overcome them
NTA. Do such people exist? The ones I meet are either too kind to point out or blunt and unable to provide any help.

>>77121324
It's totally reasonable to be a bit frustrated by the timing because it is unfortunate, but when you put it into perspective (which you already appear to be doing), it's not really /that/ huge a deal.
Alternatively, you could always just go to the wedding, then go on the trip and once your requested time is passed, call in and hit your boss with the
>ooh I'm not feeling so good bossman think I got sick during my travels I'm gonna be out for at least 3 more days sorry bro

>>77121379
You need to hang out with other men. I'm a milfag so its easy for me because we don't this constantly. Even other milfags that you don't know will do this when you bump into them as long you are both in uniform. And I am lucky enough to have civvy friends that are naturally like this as well. I now try to keep away from people that don't share this mentality.

>>77121109
Yeah, the guy that suggested therapy is probably right. She needs to hear from an outside party that your needs matter. Be prepared - practice on ChatGPT. And don't present the therapy to her as being specifically about the lack of intimacy - make it more generalized.

>>77121207
>BE sexy
I do all the things you're saying already. I've spent 15 years asking her what she wants and not getting real answers - she's too shy for that. She knows I want to please her, I chew on that cooch with gusto and ask what she wants me to do routinely. I'm not exaggerating when I say she'd rather take a nap most of the time, either - I'd have to clear entire days so she could sleep 3 hours and still have time for me.

Our problem is multifaceted. She's in menopause, having hormonal issues. She's on estrogen and progesterone, which in addition to other things were supposed to help the libido, but no luck there. Plus the kids are preteens and overscheduled - I spend every evening and weekend driving them from this to that. And then there's her work, which is completely her own fault because that's who she is, but she's always stressed about things the people over and under her are screwing up, and she's always got a little bit of work to do in the evenings despite WFH being super against the rules. Then it's the vacations - to escape all this it's a monumental trip every year, plus a bunch of damn little ones. She's working on plans for the late summer right now, but we still have to get through the huge spring break trip and the little early summer one.

Well that became a bit of rant. Basically, she's completely overloaded, but she 100% does it to herself and she sets this example for the kids so they think it's normal and then I'm stuck driving everyone around to everything because my wife sure can't. Meanwhile I'm just WFH, doing all the cooking and more of the cleaning than anyone believes is possible, not being thought of at all.

>>77121396
Sounds like my wife. My life got a lot better when I stopped asking her what she wants and started telling her what we are doing

>>77121408
I am experimenting with bringing a little more dominance into my role in bed. There are things I can say, yeah this is how we're doing it, but there are lots of things I want to do that I definitely have to get some agreement on first. Anything she's said yes to a few times ends up in column A, though - just have to keep column B rotating. I've asked first for so long, it'll take a little time to flip that whole script.

But the problem there is that I'd actually have to be having sex regularly to make progress. I can see opportunities and tell her, yeah, we're going to have sex, but there's so few opportunities. There's so few goddam opportunities even to make opportunities anymore.

We'll see how summer goes. She buffed the summer camp thing so we're probably not getting the B&B sexathon, but the youngest is old enough this year to get into our pool without an adult. Every sunny weekend day, those kids are out of the house without us. "We'll catch up to you."

>>77119097
I feel you, but it's spring now in the north. Have hope for the future. If you want to get feels again either drop addictions (fasting and NAC helps) and look inwards ask your thoughts and perceptions questions and/or imagine them. WAGMI

>>77120722
It's not over. Turn misery into motivation. There is a long road before you. You can start with lifting weights and trying to be good person. I believe in you anon

>>77121396
i'll try that yeah. we're also in the middle of a move to a new apartment in a more remote area so it'll take some time but i think a year to sort all this is a legitimate timeline.
also
>doing all the cooking and more of the cleaning than anyone believes is possible, not being thought of at all
fucking same, what the fuck?

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>>77121163
I already kicked the demiurge's ass before. Doing it again is of no consequence to me.

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I woke up at 1am to the sound of my mother screaming in her sleep again. There are multiple people on her side of the family with schizophrenia, and I feel like maybe I'm just going to lose it one day.
Maybe I'll kill myself if I ever get that bad. That would make four suicides in my family, but I'm sure it will still be easier for the ones that aren't compleetly fucked up than dealing with another schizo.

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>>77118605
Got waitlisted at every dental school that interviewed me for the second cycle in a row. This one hurts extra bad because one school was extremely interested and me and the doctor who interviewed me told me he was gonna recommend me for acceptance and really wanted to work with me. We’re towards the end of the cycle so it’s not likely I’ll get off. I’m staring down the barrel of another year of life passing me by. I can’t stand this bullshit process.

Might be getting sick for the third time this winter. What the fuck

>>77121465
I've learned to guard my time jealously. Interestingly, my wife recently said she doesn't ask me to do a bunch of things because she's worried about pissing me off or stressing me out - I was listening to her, thinking, what the fuck are you talking about? I am constantly being asked to do things. There's more? What the fuck is wrong with this woman!

Unless she just means laundry, which she has joked to our friends that I never do but I'm somehow always helping her with. Or dusting, which I outright refuse to do because of the sheer amount of knicknacks and pictures on every single horizontal surface in the house - I'm going to get in trouble for breaking something. I will, and have in the past, run around with an air compressor with the regulator set low blasting things off.

You get the idea. I am on the hook for all the man chores:
>ixing things, maintaining things, etc
Plus more than half the household chores:
>cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc
And it's not enough. It's never enough because she somehow spends every spare second I can give her on unnecessary bullshit and then complains that I haven't done xyz.

So yeah, I make sure she sees me being busy when she's around, and I slack as hard as I can get away with when she's not around. I'm waiting for her to call me on it so I can say, hey, let's just have the cleaner come more than once a damn month. We make plenty of money, and she's only $90 for a top to bottom clean.

>>77121794
You should just fuck her harder desu.

>>77122001
Already on it, boss. I have been reprimanded for tossing her around too much. She enjoys it in the moment (up to a point), and honestly I've always made sure she cums, but none of that seems to factor into it.

I really think the only thing I can do is get fit enough that her friends say something about it to her.

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>30 years old
>haven't dated in at least 5+ years just because I didnt feel like it
>haven't even gotten laid during that time
Maybe its about time to get back into it. Might as well, right?
So...who's in their 30s and dating? What's it like?

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>>77121080
>>77121099
>normal people don't put off the social life to focus on their career
I also learned that lesson way too late.

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>>77121080
All the good looking women who would make great wives and mothers are taken in high school and college the latest. Whatever remains is taken shortly after they enter the workforce. There exist very few good looking (7 and above) women that are single and have a good heart, are modest, raised in a decent family, soft spoken and pretty. The window of opportunity when they are single is very very narrow. These are the 2% of women, the highest stock of females this wonderful creation can offer. If you don't frequent their circles or the events they attend you have no chance of meeting them. Women also don't go anywhere alone, so whatever hobbies women have or events they attend it is done with their husband or boyfriend and if they are single with their groups of friends.

tldr; there simply aren't enough single good looking young white women to go around for everybody, they are rare and exist mostly in very niche places where men without social circles (loners) can't get in to

>>77122076
>So...who's in their 30s and dating? What's it like?
Really shit, but at 30 you'll easily date women in their 20s.

>>77122159
judging by my friends who didnt' get married/aren't in long term relationships, that's pretty much the case. there's too much baggage and expectations that come with trying to date a fully developed person. this is why high school love is the best love (if it works out) because two people grow together like a helix and living with each others neuroses and idiosyncrasies is much more natural.
i'm married to my long term gf since high school for nearly 2 decades but if we ever get divorced, i'm probably not bothering with long term relationships any more.

>>77122214
Why's it so shit? Is it any more shit than it's been in the past? Dating has always been kinda shit to be honest

Someone complimented my ohp the other day. People compliment me once in a while but honestly I don't know if they legitimately think I'm strong or just being nice to the autistic guy.

>>77121109
>I'll go a full year no sex then maybe put my foot down
Damn I wouldn't fuck you either

>>77119210
Why jerk off to a picture of a local whore? Why not actual porn or just pay n fuck

>>77122472
NTA, but man, I get it. Not easy to decide to rock that boat. I'd want to give it every chance.

Plus, in the meantime, yeah, get juicy as fuark. Don't be that guy that didn't put in the effort until after.

>>77122531
Sure nobody wants to rock the boat and start fights but they have children together, older children. Certainly by now, after this long a marriage, he must understand that sometimes you do have to fight, sometimes you have to show that you are legitimately very upset with how things are going and very clearly and plainly express your needs and that you cannot tolerate this treatment. You at least do something. He's saying he plans to do absolutely nothing for a full year. And then maybe he'll consider doing something. That's not how a man handles problems and that's certainly not how a man handles his wife.

>>77122543
nta but it's very plain to see that you're some weird incel that's never been in a relationship lol

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>>77118605
I have been on a 4-day adderall bender and crushing it in the gym. But I FUCKING LOVE BEER. How do I stop??

Whenever I see a femoid fitness influencer on IG I want to kms because of how much better they are than me. How much praise they get just for existing. All I do is work, school, and gym. I stopped caring about pussy and beat my meat constantly.

Right now I'm eating a big slop bowl of cottage cheese and taco meat.