Blessedvious

>>153691161

Olives heems Max.

Cap this.

*chortle* yeah ok pal
*gets hemmd*

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>>153717679
modern games look like shit

a vote for gane is a vote for sovereignty

>>153717810
Fuck yeah moethr fucker lets FUCKING go

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someone has to save PFL

>>153717963
Why can’t fighters ever retire

>>153717972
the pa$sion. the bill$s. the bitches. As you know fighters age well

Dustin Poirier would absolutely destroy Ilia Topuria at lightweight.

>>153717810
Let's go for that!

I'm so groggy what day is it

>>153718028
Dustin Porier has been drinking so hard he's not even sure where Jolie's at anymore

>>153718237
you can tell by the trail of men having a go

>>153717963
Benson Henderson groomed a kid at his gym. People forget man.

>>153718236
Still recovering from being heemed aye lad?

>>153718253
yes (she/her)

Life changing head from Ailín Pérez

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>Knocked out by a woman.
kwab

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we must mean different heems pal

>>153717795
It's a custom character created max someone made in ufc 3 dummy

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Heeming your meng to images of gabi isn't the same as sex bro.

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imagine getting off to a 'caco
certainly could not be me

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>>153718323
Brehs

>>153718359
those caranos have no business being so good at her age

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>>153718423
>no business being so good at her age
shes going to be 44 not 60 lol

She hit up the ozempic like Joanna schaub

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rondas always been a cunt. gina by flying knee

Dana White's mother confirmed he fucked Arianni Celeste in her prime

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>>153718441

>>153718441
>going to be 44
She looks better than some girls who are 30

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holy shit

>some
god damn this genny is really full of yutes

>>153718498
He's going to be twerking on the new Adin Ross stream whilst they review latest fighter jet footage coming from Iran

who even watches adin ross

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>>153718508
you would be surprised i think

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>>153718512
It's like poetry... It's supposed to rhyme.

*scurries back to the bonescord*

People forget, Jon Jones didn't develop a spinning back kick until he began training under Adin Ross at 37 years old.

if they actually pass on ilia vs gaethje at the white house because they're afraid ilia looks too mexican... i'll boycott by not purchasing any ufc merchandise for 2 weeks

my life is pretty clutch icl
tybjonesy

>>153718525
messicans have cold steely gazes while ilja looks like he just stole sweeties from the shop and is trying to avoid suspicion

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Arman Tsarukyan will face Georgio Poullas in a submission grappling match on March 11th

Why didn't Georgia press batter charges on Arman after he attacked him

>batter charges
yet another good reason to not eat fish and chips

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>Chippy tea mentioned

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>>153718595

>>153718611
Is this the patriot with the big titty sister?

two pumps in and the wmma had to answer an important phone call smdh

>>153718572
>fights on 311
Whoa, Arman is the color of your energy
Whoa, shades of UFC gold displayed naturally
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nk_WUs-zlNU
>isnt the chillest match ever

>>153717795
It's because of Unreal engine 5

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ten gyal inna lada it's mi sex-uv
heem pon the seat make the bedroom sleep
plug in mi matic fi go pon the street
look out the window fucking jannies

>>153718691
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efgIm9YPZvE

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>>153718703
general levy is a legend mate but for me? personally? the simply superior us version choon with skibz rip
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ix5LgdkSMXc

General Levy alongside the mbeat.the world is in trouble!

good morning. last night i dreamed about Pereira vs DC

>>153718732
the mista jam performance with raskit and the bbk boys is a repeat offender on the big cloz playlist

>>153718726
tom walks out to this...might win the fans backm8

>>153718749
This Finnish freak knows ball! Respect.

>>153718753
linking up with piers morgan and sacha baron cohen surely are the keys to aspinfool's retribution

>>153718765
I think he should focus on pay-walled content where him and his dad make pasta

>>153718817
flamboyant hip toss my man

>>153718817
Light heavyweight bros why can't we wrestle

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>>153718840
It's a lateral drop. DC was good at them.

>>153718875
I'm Australian therefore I know nothing about wrestling.

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>>153718875

>>153718882
OMG it's JDM. Good luck against Prates.

>>153718875
didn't do him any favors versus the GOAT

>>153718896
He wont shoot on me.

>>153718961
I will meng *smokes cigs*

'caco need a 'nana?

>>153718817
Did he paralyse him? He landed dead on his neck lmao

jackinho dolla maddalena

>>153718876
These dudes are 33 years old

Make no mistake. JDM vs Prates has been booked because Israel wanted it to be booked.

lets wash that down with some popovs

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>>153719119
Echelons

>>153718028
Poirier is the same as Garth. Can only win interim titles. Better than almost everyone but not good enough to beat the champ.

>>153718572
Arman wrestles and grapples every other weekend yet fights once a year

>>153718891
Ghetto hillbilly

>>153718891
Is this a child or a flyweight
Cormier is 5’9 lol

>>153718876
Why this delteded
What techniques did they show

if charles backpacks max for the sake of winning rounds he's dead to me

Ilia Topuria won by judges decision against his ex wife

>>153719187
It's joshua van

Remebmer when Felony Charles Bennett backpacked OG Geezer

Tom Aspinall is the biggest bitch the sport has ever seen

>>153719288
His eye will never be the same

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>>153719288
Gonna have to disagree, the guy who robbed Paul Craig is worse

>hunter refused Usmeng title shot
fucking finally. what's next? Morales right?
>inb4 Colby

This sport is so fucking compromised

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Lucrativebros…

Usmang vs Morales just leaked

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>>153719319
Usman is moving up to fight DDP

>>153719364
There’s nothing worse than a former champ at the end of his career fighting once every 15 months while pretending to still be a contender

>>153719354
he went something like 2-10 and 1-14 betting back to back weeks kek
people pay $149/mo for his picks
gotta respect that he’s able to convince dumbfucks to pay

>>153719354
>>153719389
r/heem is a kunath general

>>153719254
Would be the funniest outcome tbqh

Charles decision with 19 min control time

nah man Charles is a real one but he posted kwabib type crypto shit on his xitter. what if he's not the Charles we knew anymore.

WWUWD
What would Uncle weezy Do

Donte Johnson WILL win by submission late 2nd round because that’s what bookies need

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>>153719389

>>153719374
yes there is
a never champion (colby) fighting once every 27 months while pretending to still be a contender

>>153719453
This guy is cooked! Betting on a fixed sport is a mugs game

*sigh*

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>>153719389
>he actually charges 149 per month
anyone who pays this should be culled

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>>153719490

>big ppv week
>gonna be a 18 hour thread
dead general
dead sport

>>153719504
True, yearly sub is much cheaper.

>>153719505
in many ways i am the tai tuivasa of heem

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>>153719607
All of Ari's bots have been diverted to pol

merab really is an eyesore

>Min Pilloway vs Charles "Do Quit" Oliveira
It's a reddit off

I really miss merab

>>153719699
i was at 323
it was great watching him get pieced up and outwrestled by yan

the white house card is in like a few days or something and still no announcements?!

>>153719722
they'll announce the white house main & co main during 326 saturday

it will be underwhelming

>>153719718
That NEVER happened

there's no way it can be jones, right? well maybe comain. but there's such a high chance he just lays on the opponent no matter who it is.

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>>153719740
>2/29 takedowns
>zero damage landed
>hurt multiple times
>allowed 5 takedowns
OH NO NO NO NO

>>153719722
They're just finalising the false flag attack details that will happen during the main event

>>153719753
>46-49
Merab clearly won round 1 and 2

Test

umar lost
lost bigly

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Back from three days in the slammer who didn't tell the janny

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>>153719800
you're a big dumb idiot if you think merab won two rounds

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>>153719814

It feels so delicious to watch that fag max keep getting gate kept from the cut baby belt he desperately wanted

>>153719829
it'll be even better to watch him get exposed as a grapplet saturday

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This legend is going to put on the best ufc card in history

after running the calculations, it's got to be ilia vs justin and pereira vs jones... and the more i think about it, the more i think they don't care if jones lays in the main event, because at least america will win. but would ilia accept comain? doubtful.

>>153719842
>jones lays on poatan
jones will beat poatan as easily as he beat gane
jones is the best big man grappler in mma history and poatan is the biggest schedulebabby fraud in mma history

Honestly? Fuck Max Holloway.

Max Holloway's girlfriend is clearly a dumpy Polynesian clone. Can we sneak subliminal messages into RainBet slot machine games to wake him up?

Test

>>153719851
Dont use hoenstly like that

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>>153719865

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>>153719865

>>153719879
How old is this guy, like 17?

>>153719879
Is that Joshua van?

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>>153719865

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>>153719865

They call him the hangman because he hangs out with femboys

De riddler looks like he smells like wet dog

>>153719962
Dutch don't smell sadly

>>153719879
It's crazy seeing pics of Justin Bieber when he was 15.

They call him the hangman because he hangs with men ROFL

>>153720016
Hanging with the boys, sacks out.

Hanging with the booooyyyyysss

>>153719972
What does sadly smell like?

>>153720052
I'm afraid so.

>>153719972
Ill bet you know what all kinds of men smell like

>>153720068
I know this smell brazza. American smell

Fartsniffing inbred.

>>153720085
Hoenstly? Respect

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>>153720090

MMA Mythology
In a rusted, eight-sided cage of an old dilapidated building lies the memories of battles and champions. It is said that the memories of those past warriors come alive during the nights. The cage, filled with color and light, replays battles of old. The building is once again alive with people cheering on and witnessing warriors who bled for the people. One such warrior, known today only as Prime Hill, made his return to the cage. The people sang his songs and cheered him on as he stepped closer and closer to the cage. What we know of him was that he was brilliant at fisticuffs with feet as swift as wind. He electrified everyone whose eyes fell upon him. The legends knew him as a great champion that met an unfortunate end. How it happened or what that end was has since long been forgotten. Now only the echoes of what greatness he achieved remained. The cage turns rusted again and the arena is empty once more. Now, only silence fills these walls.

It's insane how many of my posts have imprinted on you.

>>153719972
had a dutch roommate in college and he smelled like shit. we had to have an intervention because the dude showered twice a week max and made the whole house smell like body odor

The chain link on the fence should be replaced by razor wire. Pinning someone to the cage actually causes damage now and fence grabbers get their fingers cut off.

John McCain would have been the lightweight goat in another lifetime

>>153720251
How do you figuire b

alright I'm back what have I missed

>>153720305
Weclome back stud

>>153720314
thanks bud

Which cocky fighter gets humbled this weekend?

>>153720352
god willing? the WAG

non-white faggot general

>>153720251
Bin Laden was essentially Sean Woodson with a black belt in Judo

>>153720465
congratulations on the promotion sir

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>>153720465

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>>153720289

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>>153720465
congratulations on the promotion sir

Dricus is on Ariel if any piggies wanna watch him oink about.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeOJaVY5t2o

>>153720584
Woah

John McCain, wow

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I think about the thing I've done
I know it wasn't right
They'll bury Garth tomorrow
But they're hanging me tonight
They're hanging me tonight

someone, post, pvz's, butthole.

>>153720465
Saluting rn

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>>153720591
>DICKUS DU PIGGY, YOU GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW

Oink on it!

Can't believe Justin let that neon kid take a shit on his street

In this life you're either the bull or the horns

Guys seriously Nioh 2 might be the greatest actoin game of the last 15 years
You can weem demons with an dempsy roll

>>153720591
I'm a simple man

I see an Ariel link, I do not click it

Can't stand that bitch. Always trying to stir up shit then denies he meant anything by it.

>>153720683
>Starting fights between the fighters is le bad

Take that thong out yo bussy, playa

>>153720683
Hes literally fucking with ddp with khamzat questions rn lol

Ariel is beneath white trash low class UFC and MMA coverage he needs to be on Fox or CNN as an anchor

Areil just asked if DDP has ever given up in the cage prior to Khamzat wtfuuuuk

Diaz said it best those little rabbit punches while holding on for deer life KWAB

In a real street fight Dricus would end khamzat life bruh

Holy shit this is the weakest card I've seen in me loife

In a real fight Dricus just simply drops an anvil to end Khamzat.

DDP is, essentaily, Foghorn Leghorn

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>DDP BY FALLING ANVIL?!!

>>153720683
that's all journalists anon
they try to draw a reaction then play innocent

perfect example
https://www.outkick.com/analysis/australian-open-reporter-anti-american-anti-trump-questions-owen-lewis-the-athletic

Crazy that Vince McMahon pooh'd on a woman's head

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Celebrando la Vida.

Big news coming soon.

>>153721009
Aura

>>153721009
he's banned from america by the big man

>>153720993
the crazy thing is that it didn't even surprise the average vinceologist the true geordie-esque simp texting was much worse

>>153721030
Trump is maybe the only person who's more badass than Topuria.

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>the goat of the sport is a kickboxer who can't grapple and was working at jiffy lube until he was 35
MMA won't attract serious athletes until there's a fighter's union.

It's crazy to wanna poop on women and watch them get raped by 3 black guys.

>>153720993
Aura

>>153721059
true love right there

>>153721051
Aura.

>>153721067
Your mom?

>>153721059
for me it's about it going even farther very cryptic and probably disrespectful

>>153721059
Its called having Aura bitch

>>153721078
avra

>>153721059
When your nickname is the genetic jackhammer, these things just occur naturally.

>>153721059
But enough about Clozapig's mom.

>>153721059
This post has really stuck with me, it's got me keking

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>>153721059

Wow post about Two Straws Podcast and you get FUCK ALL for replies. Post about black cock and poo get 10 repsonses fuck man

>>153721256
Vince was an executive chairman of TKO playa. Take out an ad for go piss on the porch with the puppies and let the big dogs eat!

His sexual proclivities are further exacerbated by his usage of endogenous testosterone, among other things. I fear.

>>153721059
Dana may or may not have done this

>>153721256
Chinky chink

let's be real without vince there would be no ufc and we all owe him our thanks and praise

Do you reckon Vince ever asked Dana if he could pooh on Brookilyn Wren?

I dont want to talk about this or hear it drom my computer

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>>153721380
Sit down and enjoy a glass of wine playa!

>>153721399
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It is my dream to go to tito cantina and drink coco loco with tito

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Hahahahaahaha titos cantina?? Get it, tito owns a restaurant so uhhn well that's the punchline lol isn't that funny?

Daniel "DC" Cormier's Chicken & Waffles

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>>153721488
I share my dream and you mock me

It's taco Tuesday boys rampage invited me over for the orgy tonight

>>153721513
Try and link up with Dean the great

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Dean the Great, wow

I don't get it, why aren't roids allowed for LHW and HW?

Why aren't foids allowed at lhw or hw?

>>153721538
You can't roid a gas tank unfortunately

https://youtube.com/shorts/KIoMvprvKxQ?si=wVpJjAKwuxP6iTJq

Accidentally called my mom a maggoty minge raped bitch, so thanks a lot guys

Nigger

the Might Guy podcast starring dj mighty mouse and guy mezger

>>153721921
Hey now...

>>153721042
Crazier that the woman only sued Vince because he tried to lowball her after getting her head shat on.

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>casually exchanges jerseys with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Oh Sneedy b
Oh Sneedy b
She'll never be free from her AGP

>>153722039
That's not that crazy though is it?

Oww my pancreatussy!! :(

>>153722137
Craziness is in the eye of the beholder.

>>153722168
Aye who you trying to get crazy with ese? Don't you know I'm LOKO?!

>>153718602
Imagine the orgies.

>>153718891
There isn't a bantamweight alive that can beat DC in one on one combat.

They're going to do UFC fights AT the freaking white house!!

You guys don't have near enough manliness to ever be a squash buckler

>>153722331
AT DANA WHITE'S HOUSE?

You now remember the fabled UFC Africa

They're going to do UFC fights on a freaking ISLAND!!

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Thank you sean strickland

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The black forge vs titos cantina, the choice is obvious.

>>153722375
Men will have this at home and still cheat.

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Imagine inviting normal sports fans over to watch the UFC and having to explain what the "BMF" belt is.

>>153722434
"Its the Baddest Mother Fucker belt"
Wow that was hard

UFC 326: Lucrative James vs Bookies

>>153722354
Dricus will bring it there one way or the other

>>153722434
It's not as hard as explaining the trillion wbo/wbc/ wwe/wbb boxing belts and which is more legitimate

>>153722442
>oh, so it's like a pound for pound type thing?
>uh....

I'll know if when I see it type shit gang

Notice he didn't say 'friends' but rather 'normal sports fans'. Even in his hypotheticals he knows no one likes him.

>>153722434
I consneed this as factual

>>153722527
I accept your concession (Formerly unaccepted)

>>153722375
Did you actually take this image? Because I feel my knees bending on their own, keenling at yuor ability to manifest bets into ass

>>153722522
I have UFC fan friends, and normal sports fan friends. You do not have either.

>>153722568
Nah b I'm super affable if we met we'd definitely end up kissing.

Dana White, the sabbatian frankist?

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Is you see me on /sp/ say hi but if you meet me on /heem/ I'm a talkative guy

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>>153722583

the wmma wants 500 to start a business to prove she isn't algerian but ion wanna

>>153722647
Just give her the 500 mate ffs

>>153722654
we have a word here, pihi

>>153722434
All my friends are NFL/MLB/NBA normies
I’ve had them over to watch UFC and they don’t get the sport at all
They’ll show up at the start of the main card expecting the title fight to happen firs
They think I’m a nerd because l know the fighters names and know the difference between a RNC and guillotine

UFC is for autists, not normal people

what ever happened to islam dulatov?

>>153722707
His name ends in -v so he fights once a year

All my friends are NAMBLA normies

Taco Tuesday baby!

Heeminder that Brazilian vs Brazilian usually ends in a sloppy decision

Robocop vs Ferreira 2 will be as boring as Robocop vs Kopylov

>>153722719
Ching chong chomo

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>>153722741

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>>153722707
You don't wanna know

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Usman vs Strickland 2 in Africa

>>153722434
so basically this bmf belt is less valuable than a real belt but more valuable than an interim belt

>>153722796
185lb Strickbeast buck breaks Usman

>>153722808
BMF is just a belt for washed guys who are still draws. The interim belt is for guys who are still trying to win real titles.

>>153722847
bmf belt has more leverage than an interim belt though if we're being desu

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>>153722808
It's ironically sought after more than the champion's belt, the gatekeepers who know deep down they can never touch gold see it as a reconciliation bargain as they immediatly become main eventers and headliners

>>153722796
AI is fucking crazy now hoyl shit

>>153722808
bmf is a gimmick to hedge against real champs never fighting
ufc couldn’t have holloway vs oliveira headline a numbered event so they throw a fake belt on it

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>>153722861

Somebody should do an AI of McGregor lifting weights with his penis lol

>>153722900
Fat nigger!

Daniel "FN" Cormier

Tavares vs Pickett for the Braddest Motherfucker Belt

i paid 75

*Clap Clap*

Fat Nigger!

*Clap Clap*

Fat Nigger!

>>153722918
FN?

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>>153722943

>>153722943
Five, Norwood

>>153722943
Fight Night

post your walkout song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKQXPj21LXw

even 75 felt like too much

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>>153722976
shut up dirty 'caco t. big cloz with the monitor on

>>153722976
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bLRaGo-Qwc

>>153722988
Holy shit based

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>>153722976
https://youtu.be/3-qwqrQXsXQ

Oliveira is going bald from bleaching his hair but he says he wont stop

>>153723051
Illuminado.

>>153722943
registered nurse

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>>153722976
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fmXjVuyVKo
If nobody in the crowd is having a seizure during the lightshow, I'm walking right the fuck back.

the click punch

>>153723070
Is Maddalena known for his pillow fists?

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Max Holloway is ruthless, yet cunning

Olivera is cunning, but ruthless

>>153723077
Was cool until the gay vocals. Respectfully.

>>153723070
islam is so fucked