I'd actually be up for joining an amateur sumo club. I imagine it being sort of like Fight Club where it's just dudes just exerting themselves to get it out of their system, minus the part where people break each other's faces apart.
>>256112 Good to see Nabatame hasn't lost his power, even if that's two month old video. Also Roga giving his chest to Sandanme shitters is just a humiliation ritual lmao, none of them got close. I guess he only recently got that mawashi and is breaking it in? Never seen a silk mawashi used in training before.
>>256104 Yes! I went to one of Konishiki’s touring events. My wife paid the extra bit so I could fight one of the guys after all the exhibition stuff. I took it autistically serious and ate like crazy for months leading up to the event. Went from my normal 178 to 199 in like 4 months (fat and muscle, please don’t bully). It’s a real chore to eat so much. >day of event >first two guys klutz around and get tossed >pick who you want to fight >pick the heaviest dude who also won the exhibition tournament >hit him as hard as I possibly can at the tachiai >genuinely push him back a couple steps >real momentum stops >try to trip him, no fucking way. It was like a tree >try to work an arm in >get katasukashi’d, flipped and spun 180 It was a really great time and I got pictures with all the guys afterwards
Maybe I'll remember to make a bingo card this time, though obviously not until the banzuke is out. Here's what I have so far: >Yoshinofuji gets another kinboshi >Uchimuso >Shimpan bowling >Tom #1 makuuchi fights >Blood >Torinaoshi >Fusen >Rare kimarite >Playoff >Loss to Juryo >Gyoji falls over
>>256155 osaka zambutons are nailed to the floor and celebratory throwers are subject to execution. I don't know why the jsa is trying so hard to kill the tradition, but they are
>>256116 >just a humiliation ritual lmao, none of them got close why is this, is it that they are skipping leg day too much or more technique? roga looked like he was just messing with ten year olds
>>256168 Most rikishi aren't naturally strong and don't try very hard because they're content to live in fatso daycare. What you're seeing is fat losers get exposed. Roga's last weigh in was 156kg which isn't even that heavy all things considered.
>>256170 >and don't try very hard because they're content to live in fatso daycare Futagoyama losers are guilty of that far more than the denizens of most stables are. Futagoyama is a joke stable, only trash would agree to go there.
>>256196 Musashimaru could probably get diagnosed as brain damaged. Have you even heard the guy talk? I know he doesn't use English much these days but holy shit man:
Also that Maezumo clip of him. Holy shit what ridiculous power.
>>256202 Onosato's dohyo-iri being so shit remains an enigma. I actually kinda like Hosh's desu. Can't wait until he gets so jaded and hurt that he gives the crowd that Akebono death stare.
I used to like Hoshoryu's dohyo-iri, but he's subtly changed it recently so that his arms are almost vertical when he does the chirichozu bit. I prefer when they stay horizontal.
If the International Sumo Federation wants Sumo in the Olympics so bad why did they get so pissy about El-sefy celebrating those years ago at the World Games. If you want to preserve the Shinto religious aspects why in the world are you trying to make it an international sport. Who the hell is going to look at it as anything more than something funny Japanese people do if you insist on enforcing the Shinto religious values? I'm not saying Sumo has to be diluted, but if you want to be international, and god forbid in the Olympics, you have to dilute it obviously. I'm not the one saying it should be in the Olympics, the ISF is. Olympics is a reality TV show fundamentally, so of course in order to be in you need to have the winners cry and jump for joy as the coach rushes in to hug them and give them a flag to shake around. If you don't allow that its not even up for debate. And frankly even if the Olympics did allow that there's no way it would become international anyway.
>>256218 >>256218 >you need to have the winners cry and jump for joy as the coach rushes in to hug them No one is trying to stop them from doing that. Just don't do a backflip on my heckin' dohyo, camelfucker. And definitely don't pull a Hakuho and completely chimp out over a decision that doesn't go your way. It's not hard.
>>256232 Kirishitma is a bold pick. Atami is a suicidal pick. Great as he did last basho he didn't have to face many of the top guys, including: >Takayasu >Oho? >WMH >Yoshi He primarily plugged away at the M5-7 dudes. Sure he double 'boshi'd, but he also lost to both Ozeki. If he goes double digits he'll have had an incredible basho, but he sure as hell ain't winning it.
>>256234 Oho chads can he do it this basho? I thought last basho was his time to shine but other than beating Dan he didn’t look too good. Why can oho beat Dan but no one else? Will it ever be our day in the sun?
>>256254 That was the basho where Shodai handed Hosh his 2nd loss and everyone thought the rope run was over. Hiradoumi simply made everyone nod in agreement.
wtf even is this. All of 2025 Ichi had insane banzuke luck. I like him, but cmon. Also Ura with 4-11 went from M2e to M8e. Why ???? Fucking Takanosho with 5-10 went from M3e to M4w LMAOOOOOO
>>256264 sometimes i wish they took in results from the previous basho and tried to equalize the rankings. takanosho still in the joi after two 5-10s from komusubi is pretty stupid.
>>256264 >Ura with 4-11 went from M2e to M8e >Takanosho with 5-10 went from M3e to M4w i get that they factor in strength of opponents but that's ridiculous
>>256230 >the big three Horseryu isn't part of any "big three" or any other sort of superlative group. As things currently stand in sumo, there is one big guy and that guy is Dan.
>>256268 >le 10-5 face only a kwab would lose as many as 5 in makuuchi and imagine how little hinkaku you'd have to posses to lose that much as a yokozuna
My dick throbbing thoughts >Atami making his Sanyaku debut fuck YEAH >WTK beating Yoshi to M1e is questionable >The Ultimate Manlet at M2e fuck yeah >Goshima making his Makuuchi debut fuck yeah >Holy shit they actually demoted Roga on 7-8?!?!? >Enho at only Ms4e? Fuck outta here >Okaryu is so close to Sekitori come on my dude you can do it
Is Ura unironically the best pick for mid-maegashira? No-one else there seems likely to do better than 8-7, while Ura at least has a chance at 9, assuming last bash was a fluke.
Are they factoring in previous under and over promotions/demotions in this time? I can't see why else they'd give Kinbozo -8 on a 4-11 except that he's a combined 18-27 over three basho but has only gone -5.
>>256304 Then explain to me why Roga was demoted on 7-8. That's not what's meant to happen. Also WTK being put above Yoshi is fucking wild. Everything below the Sanyaku is a complete clownshow this banzuke.
>>256305 The new guy making the banzuke was told to put Kusano over WTK but he's such a newfag he didn't know what to do when he didn't find Kusano on the list
>>256309 Holy shit did a Futagoyama rikishi really ruin Enho's entire career by winning that 6-0 match?
>>256263 Fujinokawa is going to be pronounced dead in the dohyo after either his Onosato or Hoshoryu match and the crowd are going to go fucking wild. Godspeed you mad cunt.
>watch new Chris video >get to part hyping up Fujinokawa's career high >clip is him getting picked up like a baby with legs flailing and put outside damn this feels like a malicious choice, Chris didn't have any other clips? kek I think we know who one of those rikishi who wasn't "nice" to him was
>>256309 Letting manlets in the to JSA is terrible idea. Sumo is a big man's sport, manlets aren't psychologically capable of participating effectively in the sport's management. The whole deal with Keisho becoming skinny is already bad enough, but at least he used to be a big guy, Enho never was so he can never understand what it means to be huge and what big guys experience.
>>256336 I'm fine with the occasional manlet for that exact reason. It's nice to have a visual showcase of why sumo is a big man's sport, to avoid feeling complacent about the typical maegashitter's abilities.
>>256351 Being huge is a skill. The ability to consume and digest 10,000 calories during the day when you only burned 8,000 is a skill. Just look at Onosato, dude is a big winner and he has two moves. Enho is a manlet with an eating disorder and he is probably gay too. He doesn't have skills, if he had skills then he'd be good like Onosato. People who like manlets do so because they see themselves as oppressed losers, it effeminate behavior.
>>256353 If you're gonna bring up an outlier Yokozuna please talk about Chiyonofuji or Harumafuji. >Enho is a manlet with an eating disorder Hey man he just doesn't like rice. >and he is probably gay too Alright I got nothing on that he do be kinda zesty. >He doesn't have skills Fuck off, anyone even close to the joi at that size has mad skills. What next? You gonna talk shit about Fujinokawa?
Eastern Europeans are over-represented at the World's Strongest Man competitions. Consider that while wondering why a Ukrainian kid on steroids is able to shove fatsos around so easily.
>>256361 He has an eating disorder, its a common psychological problem people get. it started when he was young trying to assert himself in power struggles over food with his parents by refusing to eat and later on he decided to reject rice because its the stable food of Japan, so he is trying to assert authority over Japanese society by rejecting rice. And the only thing he got out of his assertiveness is he ended up as a manlet and failure, he is a living embodiment of how not to lead your life. Good decent people in Japan eat rice
>"Japanese psychology is such that we root for smaller people." - 66th Yokozuna Wakanohana I'm so sick of this rage baiting faggot who thinks height is self-determined. Height gives you a head start, but skill and perseverance make you a true champion.
The dohyo was silent except for the distant murmur of the crowd. Hōshōryū had just completed his ceremonial steps when a gleaming sword, a ceremonial prop, slipped from the bearer’s hands. Time seemed to stretch. The sword clattered across the clay dohyo—and in a surreal, horrifying instant, Kinbōzan Haruki stumbled backward, and the impossible happened.
Chaos erupted. Wrestlers scrambled, attendants shouted, but in this world, where the rules of reality bend for the macabre, Dr. Frankenstein—hidden among the audience in a long coat—sprang into action. With lightning crackling across the dohyo, he moved with surgical precision.
Machines whirred, wires snapped into place, and Kinbōzan’s head was reunited with his body. Sparks flew as electricity coursed through the veins, and for a tense heartbeat, nothing happened. Then, slowly, Kinbōzan stirred. His eyes flickered open, alive again, but there was a strange stiffness in his movements. The crowd gasped, unsure whether to cheer or flee.
“Back in the ring… but not quite the same,” Dr. Frankenstein muttered, a mix of triumph and unease in his voice. Kinbōzan stood, slightly jerky but upright, his sumo mawashi glinting under the arena lights. He raised a fist, not in ritual, but in eerie acknowledgment of a second life.
From that day forward, the dohyo would remember not only the strength of its wrestlers but the day science and horror danced on clay, and Kinbōzan Haruki became a legend… both alive and something otherworldly.
>>256124 4chan strips exif data from images, which is what your phone uses to set the orientation of the picture in your camera app. You need to re-rotate it on your pc before posting.
>>256364 >I'm so sick of this rage baiting faggot who thinks height is self-determined I don't know I think staying up all night to talk to other internet wierdos from the age of like 12 really stunted my growth
Fujinokawa's first joi basho, how does he do? He put up 10-5 from M7 last time around beating up on mediocrities like Roga, Gonoyama & Onokatsu. Everyone decent he faced beat him and he was never matched against joi or higher, so high double digit losses for him this time around seem like a good possibility.
>>256434 Takayasu's record isn't in JYs so much as it is in playoffs. Most matches are a 50/50 so losing 9 without a single wild is ultra unlucky desu. This was only Atami's 2nd playoff loss, with his other being Takakeisho at 11-4 in September 2023.
>>256435 Oh wait, shit, I got confused. Takayasu has only lost 3 playoffs, it is his JYs that are at 9. Holy shit Atami is blowing away his pace so far.
>>256439 I doubt Atamifuji has any health problems whatsoever at this point. A random translation of a random thing a fucking year ago means nothing. Did the guy going double 'boshi and barely losing a playoff to Dan look like he was struggling with his health? Just LOOK at this young man's swagger >>256378, he's the picture of sumo health.
>>256444 >I doubt Atamifuji has any health problems whatsoever at this point He hasn't had any significant physical injuries in the past year is the strongest claim I would make. In general rikishi won't disclose health issues unless there is something already noticeable to the regular person or can be used as an explanation. God I hope he never hits 300kg.
Just for you I'm picking Atami for my fantasy stable. Fujinokawa is in there because I believe in manlet power. Yoshi and Haku really need new pictures that weren't taken in a public restroom.
>>256442 >barely losing a playoff to Dan Dan dominated him both times they matched up, in their 2nd contest Dan authoritatively threw him into the clay
>Japan: OMG we finally got the first Japanese dai yokozuna of this century, this is so epic!!! but then instead of just dominating easily as he already proved himself capable of Onosato decides to spend his time shoving sake bottles up his ass rather than keeping himself in shape and he stops winning yushoes and now he isn't even y1e and some foreigner is taking home all the cup again. japs thought they had finally regained control of sumo but it was a mirage, control and domination just passed from mongs to the slavs kwabjapan
Nabatame bros it’s getting close to showtime again. Last basho we had some minor setbacks at the end but we can just chalk that up to knocking the rust off and getting back in shape. Two weeks from now we will see Niggatame in prime time form and ready to zensho in sandanme.
how do you even choose for the M5 to M10 box? the guys on the top of that list are gonna get rolled by the people above, but the guys on the bottom are always dudes who are so middling they've hovered in mid Maegashira for ages I'd pick Hakuoho but I've heard jack fucking shit about his injury since he dropped, seems like a bust. I went with Ura since I literally have no other idea what to do in this category and I feel like he can probably do well at M8, all the other categories I think I did fine.
>>256494 In this day and age you'd pretty much want to ask AI lots of questions to the point where it writes code to process sumo data, and subsequently produces a prediction model for it. You can then tweak it over time to have features you think are important. Copilot tends to be pretty good for this. Once it's done you just run your app and don't have to think hard about it anymore.
>>256499 damn did I step on a landmine here? Is this why so many picked the Yokozuna in January despite the very obvious context that they were both going to struggle?
>>256504 >uppity Hakuho recruit acts out and is treated properly for his bullshit The only reason Teru bothered reporting himself is because he knew the spineless tard would whine to the press about it first.
>>256514 Maybe Teru is human garbage and has zero hinkaku and should never have had as many as one under his tutelage. Let him go work on girl's sumo with Hakuho kwabamb
>>256514 The truth is they never should've tried to rehab Hakuho's rabble in the first place. They're all trash, due to being handpicked by the yokozuna with the most trash hinkaku in sumo history. All of them should be kicked out, immediately. It's only a matter of time until all of them cause more problems for everyone else.
New issue of Sumo Magazine is out. This is the 5th consecutive time Dan has been on the cover, thats how thoroughly he is dominating, his performance is so exceptional that it can't be ignored
>You won the bout today, how did you feel? >I am happy. >You lost the bout today, how did you feel? >My body did not move the way I wanted it to. >What are you thinking about tomorrow's bout? >I'm just taking it one day at a time and performing my own style of sumo. Was it autism?
>>256547 Outside of sitting in the crowd throwing a tantrum with his arm up that one time, what did Hakuho do that wasn't hinkaku? Calling a monoii on Goeido ain't it because he was within his rights and was actually right.
>>256553 CONSTANT late shoves on opponents. >Outside of sitting in the crowd throwing a tantrum with his arm up that one time You say that like it wasn't the biggest chimpout ever. It was like spitting in those Oyakata's faces... Just standing there like the biggest faggot while the bow twirler was brought up in front of a packed crowd. Shameful.
>>256566 >Hakunofuji was stating his opinion about his shikona change to some supporter, and Terunofuji heard that while being drunk and threw sake bottle at him Just my speculation
Please god let the JSA tell Teru his stable has to merge with Miyagino while he learns to be a better behaved oyakata please god it would be so fucking funny.
>>256566 >>256567 Imagine being enough of a shithead that you draw your master's ire in front of influential sponsors. Dumbass can't read the room, just kick his ass out.
>>256574 There's no way that's a legitimate opinion because you're an actual piece of shit if you really think what you just said is acceptable.
>"It's your fault that I hit you in public!"
That would ACTUALLY get Teru the Hakuho pipeline. You wait until you're in private to deal with people acting like faggots, and even then hitting them is unacceptable. Officially, anyway.
>>256575 Don't lie to yourself that Teru is some sperg who acts violently for no reason. Hakunofuji obviously did something retarded that made him deserve it, which is doubly atrocious since he did it in front of sponsors. Absolute disgrace.
>>256566 Hakunofuji was probably being a racist, talking about how much he loves Sanseito and hates foreigners for eating all of Japan's rice. Got what he deserved
>>256577 If Teru really did do something at a fan club meeting in front of the (sort of) public then Teru's behaviour is actually beyond stupid. That's worse than what got Harumafuji retired. Absolutely nothing Haku could've done would warrant any sort of violent response in public. Don't get mad, get even. Next training session put on a mawashi and give Haku butsukari until he's fucking crying, then spit in his chanko and make sure it's visible.
>>256582 It's the exact opposite actually, since Hakuoho (he doesn't have the hinkaku to deserve a -nofuji name) was acting like a shithead, Teru needed to show to the sponsors that he's capable of properly disciplining the shitheads. The actual sponsors understand and wouldn't complain. It's only the whiny shitheads themselves as well as tabloid media who try to make it into a big scandal. The real scandal is that the JSA keeps allowing Hakuho's stench to continue infesting sumo instead of cleaning all of his trash out.
>>256577 >Don't lie to yourself that Teru is some sperg who acts violently for no reason You're either a mong yourself or new. It's no surprise at all that he would chimp out like a retarded animal.
>>256583 >Teru needed to show to the sponsors that he's capable of properly disciplining the shitheads So you agree with me that what he's (possibly likely maybe) done is worse than what got Harumafuji retired, okay. Hell the little shitheel that Haru smacked showed way more disrespect than anything Hakunofuji could've done.
>>256587 Harumafuji was still an active rikishi, not a stablemaster. Not only was he acting violent towards a fellow rikishi outside of a bout, but he was also overstepping his place by interfering in the affairs of another stable.
>>256588 He interfered with the jaw of a little shit showing disrespect to the greatest Yokozuna in history and nothing more. Takanohana should've dogeza'd at Hakuho's feet for his deshi's actions and thanked Harumafuji for disciplining him.
Is Terunofuji already going to get the boot? What a Mongolian retard and further evidence mongols should be kicked out and sent back to their shithole country.
>>256592 the JSA is being extremely lenient or maybe dangerously naïve allowing mongs to continue competing. how many times does this cycle need to repeat itself before all mongs are banned from sumo? asashoryu, harumafuji, terunofuji, ichinojo, hokuseiho, hakuba, mokonami and many other all humiliated themselves and were removed, thats got to be well over 20% of all mongs who brought that fate upon themselves. its time to finally just ban mongolia from sumo
>>256597 Has a European ever done anything verboten? Georgia isn't far away and Tochinoshin once dared to go clubbing (his oyakata did too). Did the Hawaiians ever cause a scandal?
>>256608 >Did the Hawaiians ever cause a scandal? Konishiki whined to the press about not getting yokozuna (then lied and said his attendant did it), and Akebono had engagement problems that resulted in his supporters club dissolving. Nothing violence related though.
>>256614 Lets get one fucking thing straight here faggot, Chris is a schizophrenic faggot. Yes he puts out consistent content about things we wouldn't normally know about, but that doesn't mean he isn't a schizophrenic faggot who routinely makes shit up.
>>256608 Gagamaru and Kokkai got drunk and smashed up an Indian restaurant once. Roho, and Hakurozan got the boot for smoking pot on vacation. Wakanoho was a mess. He got caught with a joint, said he smoked with Tochinoshin, claimed to be involved in match fixing (named Kotooshu among others) Naruto (Kotooshu) has had a few violence problems with rikishi at his stable.
>>256646 Holy kek I was actually shitposting before, but Hakunofuji actually was being a retard and Teru was 100% in the right to slap his shit. Hakunofuji deserves to be suspended until he drops out of sekitori completely.
>>256646 >According to multiple sources, before the Spring Grand Sumo Tournament rankings were announced on the 24th, a drunk Hakunofuji harassed a woman at a bar, and in a fit of rage, Isegahama Oyakata assaulted him.
Your face when you're getting your own ichimon as well as a crew of young joi & sanyaku level training partners for your new yokozuna and its all because mongs are hopelessly uncivilized drunken barbarians
>>256654 >all because mongs are hopelessly uncivilized drunken barbarians Literally the opposite though. Entitled university faggot tried to get fresh with a lady, and the yokozuna opened a bottle of hinkaku on his punk ass.... the fact that Terunofuji was drunk at the time was pure coincidence.
So a disciple of Hakuho tried to rape a waitress. What a fucking spoiled punk. He should be forced to retire and go get heemed in RIZIN like the nepobaby silverspoon faggot he is.
>>256666 >a penis going in a vagina >half the time women are aroused by it because they are evolutionarily designed to enjoy rape >worse than being literally dead
>>256667 Okay, assuming they are in that 50% they then live the rest of their life completely fucked up from the struggle of trying to square the fact that they enjoyed it with the fact that it was a horrifying experience of powerlessness. You're a fucking moron.
>>256675 >Okay, assuming they are in that 50% they then live the rest of their life completely fucked up Calm down you histrionic cunt. A few minutes of getting fucked isn't something that changes the rest of your life.
>>256649 >You're at a bar, having a quiet drink with your girlfriend >A group of sweaty rikishi enters the establishment >They all smell like greasy ramen >This guy slaps your girlfriend's butt
Been watching Chris' vids for a fair bit, but have they always felt this propagand-y? His coverage of info is generally good but for a while at least it felt as if they were loaded with particular sentiments towards topics, who does this man have a bone to pick with?
>>256731 Anyone he perceives a disagreement with. He left Sumoforums over a decade ago after he asked for critique on the sumo book he was writing. And then had a massive sperg out when people had critiques.